Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Words Move Me: A Celebration and Contest

Sony Style has a very cool page called Words Move Me, where users submit short passages from written works that they find memorable, moving, or personally important. They’ve come up with a rather neat promotion and have asked me to take part in helping spread the word about Words Move Me.

Oh look! A widget! Here are some examples:

So let’s get to celebrating the words that move us and have us a contest!

HaBO: The First Romance She Ever Read

You know my theory - you never forget the first romance you ever read. Paige is looking for hers:

So I’ve recently become nostalgic for the first romance I ever read, but
unfortunately, when my mom found it hidden under my bed many years ago, she
confiscated it and got rid of is, so I was hoping you romance aficionados
would help me out and be able to pull a title from somewhere so I could find
it and read it again.

Here’s what I remember:

It was a Harlequin published sometime between 2000-2003; and I’m pretty
sure it was a Blaze imprint or something of that ilk.

The plot is pretty fuzzy:
It took place in a beach town, and heroine goes there to solve the mystery
of a murder or kidnapping of a sister, mother, brother, uncle?
It possibly took place in the aftermath of the crime
Heroine used to go there as a girl and she might have had some bad memories
of the town.

Hero is a policeman or security officer or some sort of investigator who is
also connected to the crime.

He moved into her home after she got threatened by whoever perpetrated the
crime and they have saucy encounters at night—including one in the
kitchen I believe.

They have sex near the end and forget a condom (I’m pretty sure) and she
was a 30 year old virgin (I know, because I was like WTF at the time) and
she didn’t tell him until right before or right after they had sex.

So they had sex in the beach house until the sun came up. Then the hero
leaves and captures the bad guy (or she gets captured and he comes after
her, but I’m not sure) and she feels betrayed after he leaves for whatever
reason. She stays in the beach town.

I can’t remember if their reconciliation happens right away or if they
spend a few months away from each other, but anyway, HEA
And guess what, she’s pregnant from their one night of passion.

Of course she does. I don’t know why everyone is giving Twilight such attention for raising the possibility of abstinence. All these heroines getting knocked up after one bangin’ would have been enough to convince me to stay chaste forever.

HaBO: Crushing Woes and Harlequin Presents-Ish Plots

Kia writes:

I read a contemporary romance at the end of my very long first pregnancy
over 6 years ago, though I’m not sure when the book was actually published.

The protagonist was a photographer, who had a troubled first marriage with
an abusive husband. Financially she is struggling because she walked away
from the relationship without a penny, with only her quiet beauty and
dignity intact. Luckily she’s housesitting for a friend with a fabulous
place by the sea. Her neighbor is a handsome, wealthy playboy. He’s
emotionally unavailable because of some manipulative ex, who has tried to
snare him and his seed.

Our heroine has fragile health and believes herself infertile. After
breaking what she believes to be the terrific news of her miraculous
conception, she is given a soul crushing speech in which the love of her
life states he will pay for his issue but wants nothing to do with either of
them.

She refuses the money, I want to say she rips up an obscenely large check
in front of their adjoining ocean front properties, the tempestuous sea
swirling in the back drop.

Valiantly she tries to hang on to her pregnancy but in the end she
miscarries all alone. After some investigating (including an interview with
her physician that I’m sure is unethical if not illegal. but such is
wealthy playboy’s magnetism…) he finds out that she wanted his baby and
not his fortune.

Bringing her back from the edge of despair involves an extended sailing
trip on his private yacht, many tears and on the final night a resumption of
their passion, with promises of never abandoning her again.

I owned this book but a couple of children later, I’ll be damned if I know
where it is. Under normal circumstances, not a memorable read but I’m
sentimentally attached to it and desperate to read it again.

Is it me, or does this sound like a Harlequin Presents? Anyone remember this book? And it is a prerequisite that all romance billionaire tycoons own yachts?

 

Feed Borking

If you’ve been on Twitter or emailing me about this, yes I totally borked our RSS feed. It’s my fault. I’m Really Stonecold Stupid when it comes to RSS, and with the help of a few folks, notably the nice folks at Expression Engine’s support forums and Darek from Orchid Games, creator of Heartwild Solitaire, a solitaire game built on a romance storyline, with a special author’s edition that’s a little more spicy. Thanks folks.

So! If you’re wondering why the Google reader insists that there are no new entries, it’s all my fault. You can resubscribe using the RSS link over in the middle sidebar, or try this link to resubscribe. My bad - and my apologies.

Friday Videos Get Stuck In Your Head

This will be stuck in your head and you’ll find yourself singing like a chicken backup singer. Cluck cluck gobble gobble!