Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Hot on the heels of the last Aussie convention comes the Australian Romance Readers Convention, or the ARRC. I so want to go you have no idea, but alas, Australia Fair is on the other side of the planet.

All the cool Aussie authors will be there, including Anna Campbell, Bronwyn Parry, and That Devil Cynster - sorry, Stephanie Laurens. The panel titles are a hoot too: The Aussie voice: Why the whole world loves our accent would totally be on my list.

Hope it’s awesome, folks.

The Jewel of Medina has been on sale for good many days, and to my knowledge, bookstores which have the book in stock are merrily chugging along. But over in the UK, Gibson Square has put the oh-fuck-no on the book, delaying publication indefinitely.

Jesus flapjack.

Meanwhile, back at Amazon.com, the book itself is on sale with one of those two-for-one-low price deals in a set that really, truly raises my eyebrows.  Sherry Jones might want to give a mighty “WTF?” over her book being sold alongside this not-so-peacefully-titled tome.

[Thanks to Jane and Pat for the heads up.]

My friendly neighborhood Israeli reader Vera sent me this link, and I cannot. stop. looking. at the pictures.

Behold: the most amazing private library I’ve ever seen. Not that I’ve seen many private libraries.

Someone in the comments mentioned a “nerdgasm.” Oh yeah. That. 

I try to make sweet monkey love to my treadmill in the afternoons when I can, and while doing so I am usually reading and half-listening to whatever music I find on the upteen-thirty music video channels on my cable lineup.

And what to the corner of my eye should appear but a video directed by...Stephenie Meyer? From a genre I call “whine-rock” comes Jack’s Mannequin, and a host of rather obvious images that are the visual equivalent over overly-sweet candy. Hearts! Lots of them! Oy, says I. People’s article has a quote from the band’s singer-keyboardist stating that the video has a whimsical, other-worldliness to it.” Oy, again, says I.

I don’t have a lot of time at the ‘puter to do the full on Google-Fu, but I’m pretty sure that the floating pale corpse-like person near the end is the actress from Twilight.

Wanna see? Have a look & listen:

Now - the real question: what romance authors ought to be directing music videos? I mean, come on now. Five minutes with the Author Talk ladies and Aerosmith would have a KICKIN’ video. 

Personal foul, unnecessary bullshit against romance genre, use of “bodice ripper:” Laurel Maury, Los Angeles Times. 15 yard penalty, loss of down, and much mockage on the field. Taunting penalty against Smart Bitches is declined.

“The Jewel of Medina” is a second-rate bodice ripper or, rather, a second-rate bodice ripper-style romance (it doesn’t really have sex scenes). It’s readable enough, but it suffers from large swaths of purple prose. Paragraphs read like ad copy for a Rudolph Valentino movie.

“From my camel’s hump I could feel the leaf-kissed air moving like a cool, moist cloth across my brow as I inhaled the fresh clean scents of petal and blade and springs gilding the morning,” says A’isha. The newly founded Islamic community is fleeing Mecca, and she’s selling air freshener. Also, it’s unfortunate that Jones refers to male genitals as “the scorpion’s tail.” Perhaps this is an Arabic metaphor, like the Petrarchan conceit of lips like cherries, but it doesn’t work.

Thanks to Jessica M. via earlyword.com.