Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Here’s a fun toy, though I haven’t gotten the best of results with it: What Should I Read Next?.

Enter a book you like and their database of real readers’ recommendations will suggest something.

I saw the link to this hilarious article about female porn on HelenKay’s blog a few days ago, and meant to make fun of it. Unfortunately, a shiny object came along and distr--oh, hey, look, disco ball!

Whoops, where was I? Anyway, yeah, this article? HILARIOUS. Read it. Pay attention to their definition of what’s pornographic, to wit:

pornography – 3: the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction

I’m not going to bother deconstructing the article, because, well, it’s just too goddamn easy, and it doesn’t offer anything new that I haven’t yelled about a bunch of times already on this forum. I will, however, provide lots of links to some primo prurience, going strictly by their definition of what constitutes pornography.

Badly-drawn religious tracts: PORN-O-RAMA!

I always thought she was batshit insane, but now I know better: she’s pornographic too!

Porn for Democrats and Liberals!

Not to neglect the other side: Porn for Republicans and Conservatives!

Unf unf unf unf: Meatpackers are sexxxxxxy

OMG! Porn involving UNBORN CHILDREN!!!!!!!!! (Mo’ exclamation points = mo’ outrage)

Actually, come to think of it, the article itself is pretty pornographic. Look at how it sensationalizes the act of reading or watching a movie (I mean, COME ON: “When a single woman leaves a steamy chick flick only to return home alone to her cats and tub of ice cream, a part of her breaks—the heart part”? BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA), all in the name of arousing shame and outrage.

Porn-mongers: they’re everywhere. Are YOU protected?

Thanks to Kate for alerting me to the Hurricane Katrina Direct Relief blog. If you want to volunteer in the area, if you want to cut through the red tape and ship supplies directly to shelters, if you want to know up-to-date info on where assorted mail services can and can’t deliver to, if you want to know what supplies the shelters currently need, read this blog.

In today’s Parade magazine that goofy free supplement that comes with the Sunday paper, there’s a question and answer segment about Stephanie Plum. I can’t link to it so I’ll reprint here:

Janet Evanovich recently said her popular Stephanie Plum detective novels had been optioned by Hollywood. When can we expect to see her heroine on the big screen?
-Erin Marra, Seattle, WA

A: You’ll have to be patient. Producer Wendy Finerman (Forrest Gump) bought the rights to the Plum character some time ago, but has had trouble getting an acceptable script for the first book, One for the Money. But we’re told she is committed to the project and has talked to Reese Witherspoon about playing the brash detective.

Ok, first off, REESE WITHERSPOON? Since when is dark-haired Hungarian anywhere NEAR blonde and Southern? This is not a slam to Witherspoon, whom I think personally is quite talented. But hel-LO? I mean, at the least, someone with the right description. My mental image of Stephanie is not at all similar to Reese Witherspoon. I’m going to have to think good and hard about who I’d pick to play her, because I such at the match-the-actress-to-the-character game. Usually when I read a book, I don’t picture anyone I’ve seen before if I mentally image the character at all.

Of course, it’s hard to please the crowd when making a novel into a movie; just look at the crazy attention that went into finding Harry Potter.

But the real question as to the movification of the Stephanie Plum series: Who will play Grandma Mozer?!

For every post I make bitching about what went wrong with the aftermath of Katrina, I make a post about what people can do to help, or link to people who are by gum by golly doing things right.

Like Amy E., for example. She rules.

Buy her novella, Three Wishes. And show her some love.

Also, AAR is holding a series of auctions on behalf of Katrina victims. Go! Buy! Be good little consumers, because it’s a good cause.

Also: Help Larissa Ione out. She lost everything. And I mean everything. Auctions on her behalf began Thursday. Go forth and bid!

Updated to add: And Amy alerted us to another awesome auction. It’s for Inga Mahn, who lost everything except except her kids, her pet and her computer. Bid, bid, bid!

And don’t forget the animals. They oftentimes get fucked over worse than people in these disasters, so spare a thought (and a few dollars) for them, too. The Humane Society, the ASPCA, the Louisiana State University School of Veterinary Medicine and Noah’s Wish are just a few of the worthy organizations who would appreciate any money you can throw their way.