Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

It’s been awhile since I’ve had more than 10 minutes at my computer, alongside my sexy postage scale and my box o’prizes (which, for the record) the cats desperately try to sleep in, but I refuse to allow them to do so. They are miffed).

First, a coronation! After consulting with the Oracle of Bitchery Titles, I am pleased to confer upon Danica, who, about 18 years ago in Internet time, guessed The Seagull Book in a two-part Guess That Lonely Heart. Kneel, Danica, and arise a member of the Smart Bitch Peerage™.

I am stunned that there is yet an unsolved Guess That Lonely Heart. Stunned, I tell you. And so proud of myself, but that is not important here.

What is important, is that this book be recognized! And the person who identifies it gets titles and prizes! So! I post it again and add a clue. The first person to add up author name + heroine’s name + title of book will win a snappy fresh and guaranteed unsullied Smart Bitch Title™ AND a $10 gift certificate to Amazon.com.

Seagull loving real estate maven first initial B. seeks political cartoonist to inspire me to find confidence in myself, and perhaps also the long-nosed creature hiding in your pants, I mean, in your artistic aspirations. You might mock me and my efforts at helping other women in the beginning, but ultimately you’ll inspire me while I inspire you. And we’ll go to my reunion, or something, and then get it on till the breakadawn on a rug in front of the fireplace, with nary a mention of rug burn.

You know the drill: first person to add up author name + heroine’s name + title of book will win a snappy fresh and guaranteed unsullied Smart Bitch Title™.

Seagull loving real estate maven seeks political cartoonist to inspire me to find confidence in myself, and perhaps also the long-nosed creature hiding in your pants, I mean, in your artistic aspirations. You might mock me and my efforts at helping other women in the beginning, but ultimately you’ll inspire me while I inspire you. 

We have two titles to give out today, one that is long overdue.

To Sula, who identified in one shot the correct answer to the Help a Bitch Out Regency Time Travel - With Boobies. Well played, Sula! Kneel, and receive your Smart Bitch Title™.

And to Diane, who correctly identified this week’s Guess That Lonely Heart - indeed, it was Jill Levin from Lorna Michaels’ Season of Light. A Harlequin SuperRomance featuring.... JEWS! WOOO! Kneel, Diane, and arise with Sula a member of the Smart Bitch Peerage.

OK - it’s late here on the east coast but it’s Lonely Heart time. Name the heroine, the book’s title, and the author’s name, and you get Le Smart Bitche Title.

Young advertising hotshot, home in Ohio for the holidays, seeks man from way back to sweep my off my feet. You’ll need to light my candles for eight crazy nights before I head back to New York.I’ll pitch you my ideas while you try to sell me on the idea of happily ever after. I’ve got great expectations for your chances to steak a claim on my heart.