Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Stephanie was the winner for our last Personal Ad contest, and you know what this means, bitches: Another inductee into the Aristocratic Bitchery.

Kneel, Stephanie, and ensure that your nursing bra is properly adjusted, for we Smart Bitches dub thee:

It’s been a while, kids, but here’s another one of those personal ad contest things. Woo, and also: hoo. Be the first to correctly guess the author, title and heroine of the book in question, and enjoy the admiration of your friends and the envy of your enemies as you parade around in one of our utterly awesome Smart Bitch aristocratic titles--now guaranteed to emit 75% less greenhouse gases than before.

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SWF, curvy, poor self-esteem, not looking for anything in particular, though I’ve always had the hots for my incredibly young, incredibly good-looking stepfather. Yeah, mom is dead, but how many different flavors of wrong would it be if we were to hook up? Especially since he’s running the fashion empire she helped build and I’m the heir. It’d be wrong. So very, very wrong. Like, giving stepdaddy-a-blowjob-under-the-desk wrong. But also, hot.

Congratulations to Jennie, who correctly guessed my Lonely Heart from last week! It was indeed Kyra from Jaid Black’s The Empress’ New Clothes.

Kneel, Jennie, and arise a member of the Smart Bitch Peerage!

What what? Not in the butt! Sarah remembered to do an ad for Friday Lonely Hearts. Srsly, looketh ye for the star in the east, because Sarah doth not remember whereth she putteth her keyths, but she remembereth the Friday ad!

So you know the drill: Give me the title of the book, the author’s name, and the heroine’s name, and I’ll giveth you the Smart Bitch Title™ of unparalleled awesomeness.

In & Out Other Dimensional Burger

Mild mannered accountant seeks green-eyed multi-organed alien Emperor dude to sweep me off to another dimension and have a lot of dominant sex with me. No, really, a LOT. Seriously, a TON of SEX. Apparently in your dimension, women are multi-orgasmic into the double digits, and creatures made of sand can make you orgasm in the bathtub any time you want. Sign me up for that trans-dimensional portal, pronto. Gifts of jewelry required. 

We now welcome SusanW to the ranks of the Smart Bitch aristocracy for getting the answer to the last personal ad contest correct. Susan, I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to find that your title was inspired by What What In the Butt, for we now dub thee: