Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Yes yes, once again, ‘tis time for another Personal Ad contest, whereby the first commenter to guess the correct answers to the book title, author’s name and heroine’s name (REMEMBER THE HEROINE’S NAME FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY OR THE PRIZE WILL BE SNATCHED FROM THEE) will get a too-bitchin’-for-words Smart Bitch title.

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SWF, daughter to a notorious female rake and aristocrat fallen on hard times, seeks steady, stodgy male to love and to comfort, in sickness and in health. Am not at all interested in tall, dashing, repressed musician types with a taste for danger and the challenge of seducing the unseduceable, and especially not if you’re impecunious and estranged from your father. No no no. Your blandishments will not work on me, not even if you corner me in the rose garden...or the maze...or my bedroom.

Felicitations to Catriona, who correctly identified this week’s Lonely Heart as Jennifer Merrick, from Judith McNaught’s A Kingdom of Dreams. Well done!

Kneel, and arise a member of the Bitchery Peeresses as:

You know what to do: title, author and heroine’s name? Smart Bitch Title™!

We are Sworn Enemies! Got That?

Feisty Scottish lass seeks wolfish English duke to abduct me from my convent-led education and teach me the ways of hot, scrumpin’ luuuurve.™ Despite the fact that we’re sworn enemies, you’ll save me from a marriage to an old, wrinkly man who only wants my unspoiled lands and my unspoiled lands, if you catch my meaning, and from the machinations of a father who is blind to the evil of others and the goodness, purity, and bravery that is me.

I finally, finally have a title for Jami, the winner of last week’s Personal Ad contest. Apologies for the delay, Jami, and I hope the title was worth the wait--for behold, the Smart Bitches dub thee:

Woohoo, another Friday, another personal ad. You regulars know what I’m talking about. Heroine’s name + title + author’s name = INSTANT FAME AND AN EXTRA 3 INCHES TO YOUR C @ C K. Or maybe not. Maybe all you get is acclaim far and wide and a Smart Bitch title of your very, very own, which is a Highly Desirable Commodity, damn your eyes.

OK, get to it, my lovelies!

Love That Dares to Squick You the Fuck Out

Socially awkward heiress to a huge plantation seeks dashing older man to have a raging affair with. If you’re married to my Evil Stepmother, so much the better, though I might huff away once I find out you’re actually masquerading a dead man.