Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

I have to say, I am embarrassed the degree to which I miss the big news in the world, though it is my own fault, easily. I miss news of the death of Kathleen Woodiwiss; my flight arrives but my ground transport doesn’t deposit me at the hotel in time for the RWA annual general meeting… and I miss by a day the inestimable value of celebrating a day that is near and dear to our bitchy hearts.

It was David Hasselhoff’s birthday yesterday.

Really, I need to get on the ball already. Such moments of deep celebration are few and far between, and we all need to take time to honor and ponder the fine gifts brought to us by fate, like Sir David du Hoff.

So, in belated celebration, Bitchery Reader Melissa has provided us with a fine way to shake our booty for this fine occasion: Wax On, Wax Hoff. Go on, and wax the manly chest hairs off your favorite celebrity, David Hasselhoff.

It just doesn’t get any better than that, does it? 

I hit Newark Airport and turned on my phone to find an email from a book buyer for a Big Huge Honking Store. The email confirms that according to this buyer’s source at Hachette, the Evanovich/Cannell novel No Chance has ‘no chance’ of being published. The book has been canceled with no date for rescheduling.

Whoa. Dude. Wonder what happened? People who were looking forward to that book are going to be mighty bummed out.

UPDATED TO ADD:

Sarah at MediaBistro’s GalleyCat got the confirmation from Janet Evanovich, who cited scheduling problems. They still have an active partnership, says Evanovich, which should certainly soothe those who were looking forward to this book. 

A link to get you thinking, or at least, weeping for the future of ever joining the terms “journalism” and “integrity” in the same sentence again.

From the Southern Poverty Law Center an article discussing O’Reilly’s recent “crime expert” reporting that pink pistol-packing lesbian gangs are terrorizing the nation:

A “national underground network” of pink pistol-packing lesbians is terrorizing America. “All across the country,” they are raping young girls, attacking heterosexual males at random, and forcibly indoctrinating children as young as 10 into the homosexual lifestyle, according to a shocking June 21 segment on the popular Fox News Channel program, “The O’Reilly Factor.”

Deeper investigation revealed that much of what “Fox News crime analyst Rod Wheeler” said on the air in the report was entirely made up, misrepresented, or just pulled out of his ear. Or his ass. Or both.

Bitchery reader latebloomer forwarded me the link, saying, “I expect to be entertained by this article...for days to come. Sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from crying, yes?”

I don’t know.... I’m reacting the same way I did when Scooter’s sentence was commuted: I’m shocked that I’m not shocked.

latebloomer sent me another email with Wheeler’s correction of his comments on the O’Reilly show. Seems Wheeler may have misspoken and comes up with a few “better choice[s] of words” for his comments on the show. latebloomer says:

What I wonder is how can one inadvertently state “that [lesbian] gang members carry pistols that are painted pink and call themselves the ‘Pink Pistol Packing Group’”?

I have occasionally inadvertently said “mushroom” when I meant to say “marshmallow” and I once said I was “ravished” when I meant to say either “famished” or “ravenous.” That was good for a laugh. But it’s a long way from saying “I was set upon and raped by pink-pistol-packing lesbian gang members” to “Oh, I’m sorry, what I meant to say is that I’m really hungry.”

I love how people cannot say, “I was wrong, and I goofed up.” And when I say “I love when...” a better choice of words may be, “It drives me up a goddam wall that people have no ability to admit their own wrongdoing.”

I figured that of all people who would appreciate this YouTube video, the Bitchery would be really high in this list:

NOTE: Video is mildly inappropriate for work, though if you have a relatively isolated cube and you can watch it when nobody else is nearby, you should go for it because WHOA DAMN it is awesome.

Clearly, we cannot claim the concept of an LOLHoff for ourselves; it’s not hard to put the majesty of the Hoff together with the outright ballsmacking hysteria of the LOL-caption.

But! I do wonder: who knows what Bitchery members may lurk in the LOLHoff Blog?

Edited to add: No, no, ‘twasn’t us! I haven’t the foggiest who is behind the LOLHoff Blog - but I am certainly amused by it. I figured it was one of y’all!