Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

From Kristen: if you’ve ever wanted to watch tv nestled in the folds of a giant vagina, this ad may have been your chance. The “$600 and a loving home” made me snort so hard I’m sure people heard me in Delaware. 

Back in the day (2 weeks ago) Brandi sent me a link to an article, also from back in the day (a month ago) and from the Times Online about the history of vibrators - not “personal massagers” but straight up vibrators. The money quote:

Hippocrates thought the womb wasn’t a fixed item but wandered about the body looking for trouble. At the moment of orgasm, it gripped the windpipe causing the breathless panting so familiar to watchers of When Harry Met Sally.

Can you imagine your uterus wandering about, spoiling for a fight? I’m so amused by the entire image, I’ve started doodling womb cartoons (mine, if you’re curious, has really high heels on and wears those badass stockings I can never pull off without looking like a saggy baggy elephant). 

Along with a free ebook every week, Tor offers wallpaper for your desktop in several sizes, including one for the iPhone. Cool!

Even cooler? Check out Captain Spectrum’s um, spectrum, there. I just got new bras and mine are nowhere NEAR that perky. So jealous of Capt. Spectrum’s chestal spectrum. (Also, if you’re shopping for bras and are well endowed like Capt. Spectrum, Fig Leaves is awesome in all sizes and is having a bodacious sale.

Thanks to Rebecca for the spectrum link.

Several readers forwarded me this snort-funny entry on old skool Harlequins from Jezebel, and I found myself nodding through much of it. Oh yes, oh yes, when they are old skool and bad, they are wonderful. Spanking? Punishing kisses? Pretend engagements? Eyebrow-raising, jaw-dropping, ‘Oh, honey’-saying comedy gold in them thar hills.

But it occurred to me - surely there are worse, right? And how sad is it that I am challenging my brain to remember some, because surely, with six thousand sheikhs and not one of them Muslim, there’s a Harlequin from back in the day that can raise eyebrows higher than that one.

Thanks to Sandia for the heads up: Kenyon’s Seize the Night is free for the Kindle today. Click early, click often.

Now I have to try to figure out with my under-caffeinated brain how to ask Amazon to inform me which books are free, cheezy bread, free, so I can clickity click and load up the Kindle-Aid.