Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Lovelysalome answered the call - damn fast, too - and found us an image of Touched by Thorns. I’m thinking that the deep historical inaccuracies on this cover will make Tonda wish for some of those thorns with which to gouge out her eyes. Check it out:

And for her efforts, I hereby dub Lovelysalome, who braved the frontier of Chinese eBay for our fine graphic display, a member of the Smart Bitch peerage:

We’ve tallied all the votes (and DAMN were there a lot of votes!) and we are happy to announce the winners of the First Annual Smart Bitches Trashy Books Bitchery Writing Award for Hellagood Authors!

I’d like to say, there were a LOT of close categories, so when you think to yourself, if you are not a winner this year, that it was an honor to be nominated, chances are you also almost kicked the ass of the winner - this voting was way tight, yo.

If you are a winner, please, contact me at with your name and postal address, so that I can mail you your prize, for use in writing your next novel:  a fine, handcrafted, hot pink ostrich quill pen, made by the fine folks at Feather.com.au in Cairns, Australia. We Bitches go around the globe looking for appropriate prizes for our fine Bitchery authors.

And, of course, what SBTB contest would be complete without a button for your website announcing how utterly cool you are? Each category has a handmade-by-SB-Candy-and-her l33t-Photoshop-skillz graphic for use on your site - so right-click-and-download, por favor, and use to announce your fabulousness!

And without further ado, here are the results!

Hope you are all enjoying your chocolate rabbits, baked ham, dyed eggs, and really, really nice hats. And, if you’re not kicking it Easter style, enjoy some matzo, or just enjoy what on the east coast is looking to be a really loverly day. 

But! Do not forget your Bitchy Duty! If you haven’t yet voted in the first annual BWAHA Awards final round please email your vote to and by midnight PDT tonight!

We have calculated the votes and assembled the slate of nominees, so here we go: voting will now commence for the first annual BWAHA Awards - Bitchery Writing Award for Hellagood Authors.

We had so many votes for Paranormal that we had to split the category - so now we have ‘Best Paranormal: Fantasy/SF/Other Worlds Romance,’ and ‘Best Paranormal: Vampires, Werewolves, and the Supernatural.’ Further, in categories where we had many submissions, we had to drop those that only garnered one nomination.

Please email your votes to AND by midnight, PDT, Sunday, April 16, 2006.

Please vote once for each category, and thanks very much for helping us create our new annual awards!

And without further ado, or without any ado at all.... here are your nominees!

In our discussion of the RITA nominations, many a Bitchery member remarked on the lack of award category for erotica, and the difficulty of creating such an award that accurately judges erotica, romantica, and the genre as a whole.

Perhaps that difficulty might come as much from RWA’s documented hesitancy to welcome erotica alonside its other genres, but it is certainly a difficult category to judge against the traditional structure of romance - as erotica does its best to bust through established traditions.

That said, a few suggested that the entire process of nomination and submission was a challenge, and that the RITA categories yielded a mix of disparate genres under one heading.

So, we figured, we should certainly stick OUR noses into the awards arena. So we hereby create The Most Important Writing Award Ever: the Smart Bitch Book Awards, henceforth known as The BWAHA: The Bitchery Writing Award for Hellagood Authors.

Here’s the deal: we’ll accept nominations in the following categories, and the top 5 nominated books in each category will make the finals.

Finalists will be voted on by the Bitchery, with winners announced with great fanfare (think ManTitty. Lots of ManTitty.) and we’ll give out fabulous three-dimensional prizes possessing of actual matter. Or gift certificates. Or both!

Nominations will be accepted until Tuesday, April 4, 2006.

Books eligible for nomination must have a publication date of 2005.

Finalists will be announced that week, and voting on the finalists will be open for a one week period. 

One set of nominations per person, and one vote per person.

This will be an annual event, a writer/reader nominated and writer/reader voted award, and we expect The BWAHA will be THE award to brag about.

Please, send your nominations to and by Tuesday, April 4.

And now, on to the categories!

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Cassie Edwards Articles

• A centralized document of the Cassie Edwards texts (Rev. E, 2/21/2008, Tracks 22 Books, Added a Table of Contents)

One Big-Ass Bastard

• Bill Napoli, who’s a real sexist ass-hat
• Engaging in some friendly Googlebombing
• Another Napoli Update
• Smart Bitch Endorsed Art Auction
• WE WIN AT THE INTERNET