Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Marta Acosta has offered up three ARCs of her new book Bride of Casa Dracula for Bitchery readers - and all we want is your best or worst wedding memory. Easy, right? Doesn’t even have to be your own wedding. Could be someone else’s.

For example, I know a certain Smart Bitch who was once a bridesmaid, and the dress was a certain shade that turned that Smart Bitch a very greenish shade of green, without the added enjoyment of nausea. To add fun to frolic, said Smart Bitch was the lone short dark haired attendant among a sea of tall, lithe, blonde, and tanned Southern bridesmaids. Oh, it was lovely. I mean, compared to some dresses out there, she got lucky, but still. Oy.

Marta says, “I actually don’t have a worst wedding memory.  City Hall ceremony, small gathering at my parents’ house, margaritas and Mexican food.  Okay, except that my husband and I woke up the next morning and we both said, ‘What the hell have we done!’”

Now, my very favorite worst wedding story, one that I reread for added laughs when I’m having a hard day, is the Titanic wedding dress story from Etiquette Hell. Enjoy - but do not feel like your comment has to be that long!

I’ve often said that people do two things at weddings: they get married or they get offended. I usually try to make sure I’m not in the latter group, since I’ve already participated in the former. So what’s your best or worst wedding memory? Share! Your comment enters you in a chance to win an ARC - you have 24 hours, and Marta will pick the winner. Ready, set, go!

By the power of Greyskull, the Random Integer Generator hooked me up with some righteous digits. Behold, the winners in The Accidental Demon Slayer giveaway:

1: Kimberly D

17: jenifer

50: Dorilys

82: Christine J

106: KristenMary

Congratulations to the winners! And thanks to Angie Fox and Dorchester (known as “The Dorch” in my house) for a spiffy interview and spiffy prizes! 

Thanks to the random integer generator, we have ten winners! The commenters who shall each receive a copy of a Georgette Heyer novel from Sourcebooks are:

Leah
Kalen Hughes
Melissa
aly army
Laura Heilman
phadem
danae
KimmyL
rooruu
Sandia
Virginia
Meriam

Congratulations and thanks for playing. Please let me know what you think of the book you win, y’all, because I’m trying desperately to stop myself from buying most of her backlist in one swoop. Big ups and thank you to Sourcebooks for the prizes, and for making my shopping an exercise in temptation.

ETA: Kalen says, “I have every Heyer known to romance. So please, skip me and pick another winner!” So I did. Thanks, Kalen.

Random Integer Ahoy! And the lucky winner #169 is...Virginia. Yay!

ETA: Aaaand we’re doing it again! Rooruu says she’s on the Heyer bandwagon, too: “please do run the random generator again and let it pick a new fan to introduce to Heyer - I hope it’s someone who hasn’t read ‘em before.”

Bitchery readers are some generous and kind folks, I tell you.

The random integer generator says, 86! so: Meriam, you win some Heyer!  Congrats to Meriam!

Congratulations to the lucky folks who get a copy of the ARC of Delicious for their entries in the Mmm Delicious ARCs contest. From Sherry Thomas comes the following missive:

Winners selected:

Katie Dickson
Courtney
Deputman

I read all the entries over breakfast.  And I have to say, raspberries with powdered sugar never tasted so good (might also be the case that it’s the first time I’m eating raspberries with powdered sugar).  Though the contest is about food and sex, inevitably, my little black heart warms for the love stories.  Because love is what takes both food and sex from good to sublime, so all the winners I picked gave me love stories of some sort--and I kicked myself for deciding beforehand that I’d only pick three winners based on the entries, because there were a good few more that made me sigh about food and wonderful memories with/of loved ones.

And the random integer generator produced:

DeeCee
Anj

Hooray and well played to our winners. And after reading over all those comments, I’m really freaking hungry. 

Want to get your eager hands on an ARC of Sherry Thomas’ August release Delicious? You do? Really?

Cool! We have 5 to give away, and your task, should you choose to accept it, is to tell us, what food do you love SO much that, if it was brought to you in the next little while, you’d be so happy you’d give a righteous sexing to the bringer? To put it more simply, what food do you love such that you’d happily bang whomever brought it to you?

Sherry Thomas, bringer of the ARCs, says that she’d willingly give up some mighty lovin’ for whomever can gift her with savory agar-agar jelly salad:

I know it sounds weird, but the agar-agar jelly is a thing of beauty, translucent and shivery, with just a tinge of the sea to the taste of it.  You slice it into bite-size pieces, and pour on a dressing of pounded garlic, soy sauce, vinegar, and cilantro leaves and it’s heaven.  I never see it anywhere in the States and my attempts at making my own from agar agar have all been disastrous.  So it’s my sexiest food because I’ll sex anyone who brings me a bowl. And I’m talking no-holds barred sexxoring here.  Okay, no bestiality.  And nothing that will hurt.  But other than that,no holds barred!

Me? What food will bring on the amorous response from yours truly? I admit, I’m a sucker for a specific chewy chocolate ginger molasses cookie, so if someone showed up with a plateful, some icing drizzled on each one, and a guarantee that said cookies would not be introduced to my arse in a different form (namely: as fat), I am releasing myself from responsibility for my actions.

So, what about you? I love a good frisky contest. Bring it on! What is your Food That Would Make You Wanna Sex The Bringer? Sherry will pick the winners, three by Food Sexy talk and two by random integers, and we’ll send out ARCs. You have, as usual, 24 hours to being in the food that makes you wanna get funky.