Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

S/he who giveth the name of the heroine, the name of the author, and the name of the book in most haste shall find themselves in ownership of a Smarte Bitche Title.

Help me escape - and extinguish the light, please.

Recently blossomed, though scarred, young heiress seeks stunningly handsome captain to help me escape evil guardian who seeks to, well, deflower my bloom. Must be willing to see beneath the surface and past planted suspicions, as I will certainly have to see past your superficial resemblance to evil in order to trust you. Marrying me for honor’s sake is understandable, but you must ‘fess up to the Luuuuurve™ eventually or I and your stalk will certainly wilt.

Congratulations, ReneeW, for correctly guessing the answers to today’s personal ad contest. Henceforward, you shall be known as:

Check out all those umlauts! Man, your title is so heavy metal.

Go forth and sport your new title proudly, Renee.

The answer to this week’s personal ad is so freaking easy, I’ll be surprised if it lasts more than 3 minutes.

The rules: Gimme the author, title of the book and the name of the heroine in the comments. Don’t, for the love of Jughead, forget the name of the heroine! Because if you do, and somebody else submits it first, then you’re TOTALLY screwed out of our totally awesome prize.

The totally awesome prize: One Smart Bitch aristocratic title.

I’m Deaf, Not Retarded. Bitch.

SWF, unable to hear, so IT TOTALLY DOESN’T MAKE A DIFFERENCE IF YOU SHOUT AT ME AND TALK ALL SLOW BECAUSE I CAN’T HEAR YOU, DUMB ASS. I’m getting a little chubby, though I don’t know why. Anyway, looking for a little lovin’, especially if you’re kind of an uptight guy who learns to open his heart to the wonders of love because I’m so adorable and fey and shit.

Congratulations to June for being the first to guess correctly today’s Guess that Lonely Heart

The Smart Bitches hereby dub thee:

And remember, if it’s nae Scottish, it’s CRAAAAAP! 

You know the drill:

1. Name
+
2. Title
+
3. Author
+
Correct guess
=
Smart Bitch Title™!

Feisty but loyal young Lady does not seek Scottish lad but I don’t have much choice in the matter. If I must find out if the rumor about what hides under your kilts is true, I wish for a strong leader who will learn to appreciate, protect, and honor me as I diligently and effortlessly charm the living daylights out of everyone in the keep while simultaneously driving you mad. Lairds with freakishly insane extended family need not apply.  Ya ken?