Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Another Friday, another Personal ad! As always: guess the name of the character (it’s a hero this time), the name of the novel and the author, and win yourself an “exclusive” and “hand-made” aristocratic “title.” Go on, “take” a “guess.”

SWM, Ivy League graduate, served in Cuba under the First U.S. Volunteer Cavalry, own small country medical practice. Have a soft spot for dogs. Looking for quiet, gentle, animal-loving girl for sweet, sweet lovin’, maybe more.

I am Countess Kicksherownass this morning, since I thought I was all smooth grabbing an older short story from a major author. GAH. But - Congrats and big ups to Rani who is now known as

Baroness Pressèdhamm

Wear your title well, and make sure to use it when making dinner reservations. You get a better table that way. 

It’s Friday, y’all. So rustle up some creative thinkin’ and have yourself a go at this week’s Guess that Lonely Heart:

Murderous best-selling author seeks boot-scootin’ hero to rescue her from forced friendship and bonding with cattle-rustling plastic women. Tumbles in the hayloft invited, but hero must be willing to accept heroine who at all times insists on speaking for herself. 

Meljean correctly guessed the correct answer to yesterday’s personal ad challenge, and can now boast one of these totally exclusive, totally bitchin’ custom-made awards. Kneel, Meljean, and receive your title:

May you live up to your title--or may your title live up to you. Either way, what bliss.

Another Friday, another personal ad! Guess the character name, title, and author correctly, and find yourself the proud owner of a lovingly-crafted, 100% dairy-free and heart-healthy Smart Bitches title.

SWF, 35 y.o., all alone and hopelessly on the shelf looking for a sexy, hypothermic stranger to pass out on my door. Good-looking illegitimate gunslinger/private investigator with overdeveloped sense of chivalry preferred. I have small farm, cozy house, some livestock; you have requisite equipment to take care of my virginity because damn, I’m sick of this hymen and nobody in the Dakota Territories wants it. Commitment would be nice, but one-night stand also acceptable.

p.s. Am willing to assist in any sort of investigation you’re involved in. I won’t get in the way, I swear.

Addendum: OK, since nobody’s gotten it yet thus far, I offer these hints:

- It’s a book written by a fairly popular author who’s written only historicals with American settings; the worst grade she’s ever gotten at AAR was a C.

- This particular book was published by HarperCollins in 1997.

Ringing any more bells?