Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

To Rosario: We, the Smart Bitches, dub thee:

As usual: guess that romance novel hero or heroine:

World famous SWF, breaking lose from longstanding emotional bondage, seeks RV-driving man, adorable kids optional but add much to plotline. Must be willing to tolerate political intrigue, mass press attention, and on-the-run lifestyle.

E.D’trix had the correct answers for today’s Personal Ad Contest: Princess Olympia St. Leger of Seize the Fire by Laura Kinsale. All hail E.D’trix! She rocketh our world and deserveth the tasty bon-bons, but alas all we have is this spurious Photoshopped prize.

Kneel, E.D’trix, and receive your title (and new Russian name):

Go forth and do your title proud!

As with the previous two contests: Guess the character’s name, the title of the novel and the author in the comments, and the first person to get everything right will be bestowed with a unique, hand-crafted, guaranteed sweatshop-free title. Smart Bitches, Inc. is a Fair Trade-certified organization. (OK, that last bit is a lie. But we would be, if we actually sold anything. Or were actually, y’know, incorporated.)

FORGET TINA TURNER: WE DO NEED ANOTHER A HERO

Shy princess of small European principality seeks noble, courageous, well-decorated military hero for assistance in progressive nation-building exercise. Must be ready to weather adversity, up to and including imprisonment, shipwreck and rebellion. Fondness for zaftig white girls a plus. PTSD OK.

And the Smart Bitches dub Angie the winner, for correctly guessing this Friday’s Romance Personal Ad: Frances from Catherine Coulter’s Midsummer Magic.

Kneel Angie, and receive your title: