Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Remember those? We used to have those regularly. And all that. In honor of the 164th Annual Plunderathon (anyone else going? I’m definitely going to be there, swashing my buckle and buckling my swash), I’m going to go with a pirate themed romance.

You regulars know the score. First person to correctly guess the author, title and heroine’s name wins the booty booty, consisting of one not-at-all landlubbery and only mildly scurvy Smart Bitch Aristocratic title.

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Fire-breathing reformer seeks prisoner transport ship to expose appalling conditions faced by female prisoners. Am most decidedly NOT seeking a randy pirate captain and his randy pirate crew who are seeking a shipful of women as part of some sort of hare-brained utopian scheme--no matter how becoming your eyeliner may be.

Congratulations to this week’s Guess That Lonely Heart winner Sarah Frantz who correctly guessed that our Lonely Heart was Zoey Redbird, from PC Cast and Kristin Cast’s Marked: A House of Night Novel. After many an attempt to guess our Lonely Heart, Professor Frantz has come in for the win.

Kneel, Sarah and arise a member of the Peerage:

It’s time for that bucket of Friday fun: you tell us the name of the character, the name of the author, and the title of the book, and be the first to do so, and we hook you up with a hoff-tastic Smart Bitch Title™.

Tag, you’re it.

Young independent-minded woman, tagged suddenly to spend a totally different adulthood than she’d counted on, seeks similarly-minded slightly older man to help her navigate a new boarding school, a new life without involved parents, and a whole new set of bloody rules to live by. Must be willing to fit in with my brand new friends, and to tolerate my ability to consult with somewhat secretive night deity, and my instinctive dislike of self-involved fake girls who lead societies of secretive progeny and who’d totally like to get in your pants. That wench is so going down. 

A wicked battle of Google and wits, and Elaine emerges the victor. It was indeed Heath Champion from Susan Elizabeth Phillips’ Match Me If You Can. Kneel Elaine, and rise a member of the Smart Bitch Peerage™.

It’s Friday Friday Friday, with bonus Personal Ads!

You know the deal: give me the hero’s name for this one, plus the author and the title of the book, and you get a Smart Bitch Title™ for your very own, with inclusion in the Smart Bitch Peerage.

FTW

Tall, hot, and handsome man bent on embracing gender stereotypes about jocks and businessmen seeks caring, cautious, and courageous woman to help me grow up, stop looking at superficiality, and learn to get juuuust a bit over myself. Must love football, travel, cabins, camping, and overgrown children disguised as professional sports players. In return, I promise, we could… go… all… the… way.