Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

More news outlets are picking up on the advent of erotica, which I worry will head for the shark now that more and more media heads are talking about it.

CBS2 Chicago has yet another news article about erotica, this time titled, Romance Novels Turn Up the Heat in Sex Sellers, in which, oh my, there’s hard core sex in erotica and romantica novels! Alert the press! 

The reporter spoke with Penny Dawn and Robin Schone as authors representative of the “new” genre, throwing in the following “News at 11!” panic line:

“Is it about time or are these sex sellers going too far?”

Too far for what? Last I checked, there was a physical end point to the vaginal canal. Unless his “sexy beast” is poking out her nose, and in which case I’d look to see if she’s inflatable, how far is “too far?”

To quote Candy: *le sigh* I love the effort to make news and scandal where there really isn’t any.

Now I know how Buffy fans felt when everyone started watching the show and making a big deal of it at the end of its run, when real fans known all along how good it was. 

Bitchery reader Amanda sent us a link to the following Q&A, Burning Questions on BookPage, where a bookstore owner wrote in searching for an update on one of her favorite authors, Barbara Bickmore. Ms. Bickmore has had a hard time finding an American publisher for her books, according to her own reply, and then offers the following piece of information:

I do make a very nice living from Europe, and it does make me a little sad that America isn’t interested anymore. I don’t write romances, where there is nothing more than the man and woman getting together and then being torn apart and the rest of the book is about their getting back together. My books are too complex for romance readers.

Further proving that the creature rendered by the juxtaposition of a dumbass, a computer, and a very, very large publishing advance respects no boundaries of ethics or even intelligence, evidence has surfaced that Kaavya Viswanathan not only borrowed from Megan McCafferty, but also lifted passages, descriptions, and possibly dialogue from Sophie Kinsella’s Can You Keep a Secret?

While not as pervasive or damningly identical to the phrases lifted from McCafferty, the similarities are striking enough to be noticed, and to create a new flurry of “no comment until the situation is examined” responses from the publishers, agents, and ‘book packagers’ involved. Viswanathan’s book has already been pulled from the shelves of bookstores at the request of the publisher, but is available online at half.com and on eBay.

My personal favorite from the Times article:

In an e-mail message, a spokeswoman for Alloy Entertainment, the book packager responsible for several hit series of young adult novels that also helped Ms. Viswanathan develop the concept for “Opal” and craft its first four chapters, said: “We are continuing to refrain from offering comment on any matter relating to Kaavya at this time.”

Sounds like they are going to wash their hands of her, don’t it?

So now I’m going to dust off my Duchess Cuntington Crystal Ball and look into the future - I see… a book deal… a big...advance… with six numbers for Kaavya Viswanathan… to divulge the “dark secrets” of the publishing packaging industry… and reveal how Alloy pressured her to finish the book by any means necessary, thinking that ... no one would notice if she borrowed from established, successful… recently published books by...well known authors. The victim, she will be, yes.

Oh, the future, it is not so hazy today at all.

Professor Sarah S. G. Franz sent us the following announcement from Eric Selinger at DePaul University - if you’re interested in academic discourse on the most awesome subject of romance novels (and who isn’t?!) check out the following:

Hello, everyone! Since there isn’t a listserv out there designed for academics who study and teach romance fiction--or, at least, there hasn’t been since the demise of Romance Novel Studies, a while back--I’ve taken the liberty of starting one.

Introducing (drum-roll, please): RomanceScholar! Not the greatest title, perhaps, but I only had 14 characters to work with, and I wanted to get across the fact that this is a list that aims to foster scholarship in the field of romance fiction, even if we do end up spending some time simply suggesting good new books to one another. (Which counts, in my book, as “fostering scholarship.” How else to get things written on the work we love?)

I realize this list may not be of interest to everyone on RRA, but I hope that even if you aren’t interested yourself, you’ll still spread the word or forward this message to anyone else you think might take an interest: colleagues, friends, teachers at other levels, etc. (I know I’d love to talk about how we TEACH these books with anyone who faces those challenges, at whatever level!)

To subscribe, visit http://mailman.depaul.edu/mailman/listinfo/romancescholar

The instructions are pretty straightforward, but be sure to open your “confirmation email” and click on the link or hit “reply” as instructed to activate your subscription.

Anders pointed this out ten days ago in a comment but I somehow totally missed it: SMART BITCHES HAS TOTALLY MADE IT INTO WIKIPEDIA.

Holy fuck on a fuck cracker!

WHEE!

Now I’m just waiting for the Wikipedia editors to notice this and put in a request for deletion....

UPDATE FROM SB SARAH

While there was a request for deletion, a few noble souls have updated the definition of “Smart Bitches” on the Wikipedia to reference the GoogleBomb efforts against Bill Napoli.

Furthermore, “Napoli” is listed on the bottom of the entry regarding the definition of a GoogleBomb as a recent and popular example of the trend, though the Smart Bitches are not specifically attributed for the effort. (Hmmmm.)

But, if you look at the entry for Sen. Napoli himself? Well, get me a plate of them fuck crackers with a side order of holy crap:

Napoli’s statement gave rise to the slang term “to napoli,” which the Smart Bitches pioneered. The verb “to napoli” means to brutally rape someone in the manner that he described.