Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Thanks to Jamie, who forwarded me this link that set my blood pressure up another notch. I’m home sick today and utterly cranky, so the less I say about this one the better.

From an interview with author Polly Williams on Yahoo! about her book, Yummy Mummy:

Q: Are the heroines in your three books similar?

A: “They are all the same age, 34, but at different stages of life. I wanted to make the books relevant to those issues that women really face today, otherwise they would be romances.”

Nice. Thanks, Polly. So my romances aren’t relevant to issues I’m currently facing? I’m currently facing an urge to journey to Australia and tell you to bite me. I should read a romance, huh?

A few folks have emailed me news that Ellora’s Cave, Cerridwen, and Lotus Circle are planning to host a convention for authors and readers in Akron, Ohio, sometime in fall 2009. The tentative schedule seems to include an awards banquet, workshops, book fairs, and author-sponsored (read: paid for) events. No word yet on costs for the convention; as one message that was forwarded to me read, “Once EC has an idea of the number of interested people (authors, readers, book stores, models), and they decide on the hotel, food, etc., they’ll be able to determine the cost.”

Is this the first publisher-hosted convention? I know publishers host dinners, parties, even spa trips at other conventions, from RWA’s National to RT, but is this the first publisher-exclusive con for readers and authors?

Thanks to Mel Francis and Funky Bunny for the tip: as part of a promotion of Danielle Steel’s new book, the Today show is hosting a quiz: Do you Read Romance Novels?

And of course, there’s no “yes” or “no” option - there’s “yes” or “no” with patronizing embellishments! And no room for comments for me to say, “BITE ME you sanctimonious fucknuts.” You can say, “Yes, yes, yes! Bodice-rippers are my ultimate escape” or “No way. I don’t touch those books.” Or, if you’re feeling really ambivalent about the state of your bodice, “Sometimes, while on vacation or at the beach.”

The poll results reveal that many, many respondents seem to equate “touching a romance novel” akin to “cleaning out the sink trap,” “fishing a really noxious booger out of someone else’s nose,” or “taking out the trash.”

Here. Have a More Funner Poll:

The Today Show Poll About Romance Novels is:

Obnoxious but not surprising.

Totally annoying. I'm going to haunt their next live shoot and moon them all!

Infuriating! I'm ripping my bodice in rage. Hulk smash!

Confusing! Who is the Today Show to be condescending about choices in popular culture?

All of the Above. Now I want to rip Mel Francis' bodice.

Want to cast a vote for what truly matters in the world? Who is the hottest man in publishing?

Dude with kitten is rocking my vote. That kitten is AWESOME.

Thanks to Keri for the link.

First, if you’re like me, and your thirst for all things Hoffy knows now limit (and WHO is NOT like me, I can only wonder!) the Post-Gazette has a Hasselhoff Podcast - or, “HoffCast” - available. Now you as well as I can enjoy the dulcet, supple tones of The Voice of Hoff in the privacy of your own earphones. The public doesn’t need to know. Thanks to Jennifer for the link.

But never doubt that the power of the Pittsburgh blogger is deep and mighty: Bitchery reader Michelle sent me a link to yet another Pittsburgh based blog, wherein the art of the day via eBay is fruity-licious. Literally. Between that guy and this dude, and OMG this dude over here, I may have inadvertently stumbled upon the new and future trend of erotica cover art: eBay nudes.

Gee. Thanks, Pittsburgh.