SmartBitchAdvertising

You could run naked down Madison Avenue at 2pm, or you could advertise with us, but both ways put you in front of a few thousand people!

We here at the Smart Bitchery have been hard at work building a kickass community – so here is your opportunity to put yourself in front of that community, and help us cover our hosting costs. We currently have two different options for advertising: the small, zippy version that rotates in random order, and the bigger ad that’s static.

23 April 2008: We now offer three different options in six different locations for advertising: the small, zippy version that rotates in random order, the larger static ads, and the new and sparkly large ad spaces that features two ads per month.

You want the quick-n-dirty summary? No problem:

The Large Static Adspace is 200x300 px, and each month there are two such spaces available. Price? $225.00 per month.

The Large Rotating Adspace is also 200x300px, and each month there are three such spaces available. Only two ads rotate in that space each month. Price? $125.00 per month.

The Small Rotating Adspace is 200x150px, and each month there is one such space. Up to eight ads rotating in that space per month. Price? $60.00 per month. Buy more than one month consecutively to run the same ad, and it’s $50.00 a month.

All prices are in weak-ass, wusstastic US Dollars, so international currency holders, I hope you enjoy the advantageous exchange rate.

Want more information? Read on!

For the smaller ad:

  • The rate is $60.00 US for one month of clickable ad buttons on our right sidebar. Unlimited adviews and clickthroughs included in that price. But wait, there’s more! Extend the run of your ad for two months or more, and pay only $50.00 US per month. Please note: the multi-month price does not apply to two separate ads for two separate months. We can only offer the discounted price if you run the same ad for more than one month’s time.
  • These ads are smaller and cheaper than the static ones, but they won’t garner you as many pageviews because they’re placed on rotation with however many other ads we have running at the same time.
  • This smaller ad is 200w x 150h pixels, with minor adjustments made due to graphics or content. See below for a sample - 200x150 means 200 pixels WIDE by 150 pixels TALL.
  • If submitting your own ad, we accept .gif, .jpg, and .swf (Flash) files. We also can do a straight-text ad with links. Please do not submit ad files larger than 60k so as not to delay our page load times.
  • If you’re making your own ad, please make sure they’re 200w x 150h. It’s not that we’re ball-busting bitches--well, we are ball-busting bitches, but that’s kinda beside the point because our adserver, while powerful and portable and open-source and everything we’d want in a vibrator, is very persnickety about size (not unlike Candy). If the image file doesn’t conform to the dimensions we set, it won’t show the ad. Small differences in size won’t be a big deal--we’ll resize and/or crop for free. If we need to do some more doctoring, e.g. expanding the canvas and plopping some text in, there will be a $10 surcharge. If the ad needs a whole lotta doctoring, we’ll contact you and either ask for something new, or....
  • Not thrilled with designing your own button? Feel free to call on the Smart Bitches and their love of the Photoshop to help you out: $50.00 US per ad will get you a Smart Bitch designed button. You provide the graphics and we make it look all pretty.
  • No Fug Clause™: Both parties reserve the right to reject the ads if they’re deemed hideous. Ads can be re-designed one additional time, or money can be refunded.
  • Ads for books that have been reviewed by SBTB receive complimentary link to SBTB Review with mention of grade immediately below advertisement.
  • We reserve the right to reject any advertisement if they advertise or link to any content we deem inappropriate (e.g. child porn, pyramid schemes, Elmo fansites).
  • We reserve the right to change our rates at any time, but ads already purchased will be honored at the rate for which they were originally purchased.
  • Ads do not have to be about books or author promotion, or even for products. If you feel like trumpeting how much you like wearing dryer-fresh panties on your head, feel free.
  • We accept payment via Paypal, and will furnish our payment instructions once you’ve contacted us about an advertisement.
  • Ads do not constitute an endorsement of any sort on the part of the Smart Bitches.

For the bigger static ad:

  • The rate is $225.00 US for one month on our right sidebar. Unlimited adviews and clickthroughs included in that price.
  • “What the fuck? $225?” you cry? Well, yeah, it’s a bit spendy, but you’re getting twice the real estate and you’re guaranteed a view every time somebody surfs to our pages. Plus, we haven’t raised rates since 2006, and since then our traffic has increased exponentially. But if you still want to send hate mail, please note: we much prefer if hate mail has no capital letters n no punctuation plz
  • This bigger ad is 200w x 300h pixels, with minor adjustments made due to graphics or content. See below for a sample - 200x300 means 200 pixels WIDE by 300 pixels TALL.
  • All that other stuff about the small ads, like how we reserve the right to bla bla bla but we’ll still honor the yadda yadda yadda? All that applies.
  • Design fee’s still $50 a pop.
  • Payment via PayPal preferred.
  • And we just can’t get enough of repeating this: Ads do not constitute an endorsement of any sort on the part of the Smart Bitches.

For the larger rotating ad:

  • The rate is $125.00 US for one month of clickable ads on our right sidebar. Unlimited adviews and clickthroughs included in that price.
  • The ad space will feature two, and only two, ads per month.
  • This ad space is 200w x 300h pixels, with minor adjustments made due to graphics or content. See below for a sample - 200x300 means 200 pixels WIDE by 300 pixels TALL.
  • All that other stuff about the small ads, like how we reserve the right to bla bla bla but we’ll still honor the yadda yadda yadda? All that applies.
  • Design fee’s still $50 a pop.
  • Payment via PayPal preferred.
  • And we just can’t get enough of repeating this: Ads do not constitute an endorsement of any sort on the part of the Smart Bitches.

Interested in our stats? Wanna see how many people will be seeing your ad? Check out our Fine Stats!

Any questions, or have an interest in running naked down the avenue? E-mail us at or fill out the form below.