Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

1965 - Dune
Don’t drink the water
You find on desert planets
It will make you God.

1966 - Babel-17
Words describe language;
Language is a weapon - so
Will this book kill me?

1966 - Flowers for Algernon
This book is good if
You can avoid thinking of
Pinky and the Brain.

1967 - The Einstein Intersection
Mutant rides lizards
Search for meaning or is it
Just an acid trip?

1968 - Rite of Passage
Grow up on spaceship.
Become adult on planet.
After-school special.

1969 - The Left Hand of Darkness
An empire failing
An alien all alone
But for one person.

1970 - Ringworld
Being old is dull
Get some aliens, a ship
And go exploring!

1971 - A Time of Changes
Can’t get enough love?
Don’t worry, it’s the 70’s
All you need is drugs!

1972 - The Gods Themselves
Two races may die
Unless they find out that there’s
No such thing as 2.

1973 - Rendezvous With Rama
What is this huge thing?
Alien passing by Earth?
You don’t get to know.

1974 - The Dispossessed
You cannot go home
Unless you know home is where
You have never been.

1975 - The Forever War
Spend a million years
Fighting until there’s peace, but
What is left for you?

1976 - Man Plus
Take away his skin
Eyes, mouth, hair, genitalia;
Is he still human?

1977 - Gateway
My love is dying,
Falling into a black hole
But she is not dead.

1978 - Dreamsnake
My snake can heal you
with its venom! No, really!
Unless you kill it…

1979 - The Fountains of Paradise
All we really need
For space elevator is:
Monks and lots of cash.

1980 - Timescape
NMR through time.
Save the past - future’s hopeless.
NMR is cool.

1981 - The Claw of the Conciliator
It’s a fine old job
Good career for a young man:
Executioner

1982 - No Enemy But Time
Loner time travels:
Is banging Neanderthals
Bestiality?

1983 - Startide Rising
Dolphins lost in space
Learn an important lesson:
Never trust orcas.

1984 - Neuromancer
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This is kind of sad.

1985 - Ender’s Game
Outcast kid genius
Though unpopular, saves Earth
Guess why geeks love this.

1986 - Speaker for the Dead
Gosh Ender’s Game rocked.
And wow! Now there’s a sequel!
Hey, wait a minute…

1987 - The Falling Woman
Mother and daughter
Fuck around Mayan ruins
The Mayans fuck back.

1988 - Falling Free
Four arms but no legs
Slaves! But to rebel they need
Human leadership.

1989 - The Healer’s War
In ‘Nam, even with
Magic, the best you can do
Is get out alive.

1990 - Tehanu: The Last Book of Earthsea
A preistess, a maze
Dark gods, dark magic and of course
Our friend Sparrowhawk.

1991 - Stations of the Tide
The water rises
The Apocalypse is nigh
No time for audits.

1992 - Doomsday Book
Go back in time, watch
Everybody die. Go home
To hear the bells toll.

1993 - Red Mars
One hundred (and one)
Land on Mars. Watch them argue;
Watch them build a world.

1994 - Moving Mars
Politics are rough
Particularly if you’re Mars
And Earth’s scared of you.

1995 - The Terminal Experiment
Being immortal
Might make you homicidal
One way to find out…

1996 - Slow River
Deep, dirty water
Covers so many secrets
Not the ones you think.

1997 - The Moon and the Sun
Court of the Sun King
Has caught itself a mermaid
Pity the mermaid.

1998 - Forever Peace
Soldierboy for peace
Jack everyone together
And we’ll all be free.

1999 - Parable of the Talents
I escaped from drought
To rebuild and to bring you
The truth: God is Change.

2000 - Darwin’s Radio
Hidden DNA
Breeds new humans. Who can stop
This plague of babies?

2001 - The Quantum Rose
Clever with simile
And with quantum mechanics
Still cliched romance.

2002 - American Gods
We brought gods with us.
Pale imitations, they deal
Only in Shadow.

2004 - Paladin of Souls
Her life is over
But she’s not dead yet. What is
Her bastard purpose?

AND THAT’S ALL THERE IS.
CAN YOU TOP FORTY HAIKU?
I DIDN’T THINK SO.