The votes have been tallied, and wow, there were a LOT of votes! After consulting with the accounting firm of Microsoft Notepad, where I keep our voting tally, Candy and I are pleased to announce that the winner of the WHA? Query Letter Contest is…. Entry #7: Frozen in Time!
Not many people could resist the allure of a freak curling accident! Comments were as funny as the entry itself:
“It made tears of laughter run down my eyes. Sweedish beach volley ball team? I love the opening query sentence, so modest.”
“Must vote for #7. Coca-Cola as a dis-inhibitor cracks me up. Politics, religion and sports, all in one query. What more can an imprint ask for?”
“I can’t resist the Stockholm Syndrome pun at the end.”
Frozen in Time was neck-and-neck with #4: Blank on the Bayou, from the “Who the Hell are Those Triplets?” series. The voting was seriously close and our accounting firm went back and checked the tally twice to make sure we counted correctly. This submission was a big favorite with the readers:
“Who The Hell Are Those Triplets? Sexy bad French and dirt? Yeah, it’s a winner.”
“XWHY Chromosome disease… HA!”
“I just cannot resist foursomes, mystery triplets, dirt-eating orgies, and dead momma vows. Throw in some sweet blues and naughty voodoo, and you all have just fulfilled all of my dreams.”
But congratulations and awards go to the writer of Frozen in Time, Jeri Smith-Ready! – and now that I’ve recovered my memory, I can announce our prizes!
The fabulous author will receive a $10 Gift Certificate to Amazon.com, a Smart Bitch Title®, and—get ready for some serious envy—MY COPY of the book that started off my amnesia, Who’s the Daddy by Judy Christenberry.
Are you excited? Did you fall off your chair?
Don’t hit your head!
Eeeek! To quote gold medal half-piper Shaun White, “I feel all Olympic-y.”
Thanks, everyone! Sarah’s copy of WHO’S THE DADDY is the prize I’ll most cherish. I bet many pages are covered in Smart Bitch spittle from all the guffaws.
Way to go, Jeri! I loved the Coca-Cola line![g]
And many are dog-eared, which is how I designate a page containing a WTF?! moment. There are MANY.
Congrats, Jeri! I loved your entry.
I thought #4 was excellent too. Do we get to know who wrote that one? Or did y’all forget? Heh.
#4 was awesome. I loved the wizened grandmother in the bayou shack. Everyone did a fantastic job.
And it turns out there really is a Swedish beach volleyball team. I had to do lots of research for this synopsis, y’know.
I am so amused that you did research for our contest! Now that is Bitchery dedication!
I will reveal the author of #4 if said author does not mind!
Yes, it was exhausting looking at all those Slavs in Speedos. The sacrifices we make for our craft….
Woo-hoo, Jeri! I lost my lemonade at the super-freak dance moves and the ironic case of Stockholm syndrome.
I did #4, and thanks for the strokes, you all! I don’t mind if you reveal my name…or should I do it myself? Does it matter? Is there a delicate protocol surrounding such things?
lol, congrats Jeri – that’s awesome, and to Bridget for coming close.