Bitchery Prof goes to South Africa

Awhile back, I discussed my pleasure at some of the place names in Australia. Now, it’s South Africa’s turn, thanks to Bitchery Professor Dr. Sarah Frantz, who journeyed in a state of Extreme Gestation to South Africa – and came back with a Smart Bitch report AND pictures. A three-bitch salute to Dr. F! Woo!

I am writing to you (with pictures) to send you a Smart Bitch report of the beautiful country of South Africa.  Yes, I saw lion and zebra and giraffe (in appropriate game reserves, thankyouverymuch, and there were no goddamn tigers nor nary a jungle!), and whale! and family! (spot the real animal in that sentence!) but I also saw other things worth chronicling for Smart Bitch posterity.

Like the Labia Theatre and Tearoom in Cape Town.  Or, in Afrikaans, Labia Teater.  I shit you not.  You can see it on the second photo, if you look really hard—the sun was bright.  Apparently, the Countess Labia was a great philanthropist in Cape Town, South Africa, until her death sometime in the 1920s.  She left a legacy of the “Teater,” and a Museum (which we didn’t see).

I vaguely had the idea of petitioning to change my title from Baroness du Bacqueseate to Countess Labia for my amazing discovery, but that would be wrong of me.  And besides, I’m not sure it’s not already taken.

So, after penguins and the Cape of Good Hope, we also managed to get a picture of the up-and-coming car company in South Africa.  Actually, apparently it’s the major Indian car company that has imported itself to South Africa.  But I still got a kick out of all the Tatas running around.  And you have no idea how difficult it is to drive past the Tata dealer, with new and pre-owned Tatas for sale and Tata Service entry doors without crashing because of hysterical giggles.

And THEN, there’s the evolutionary display at Sudwala Caves and Dinosaur Park.  They have a pair of lifesized Australopithacus models.  And I do mean models:  my husband says that he didn’t know that they had invented hair depilatory 100,000 years ago.  I say it’s all in the bone razors.  But I also figured it was a good antidote to the Creationism Museum in KY.  I doubt this little museum could have survived in the good ol’ US of A.

Tatas and Labia Teaters. I’m giggling like the immature person I am.

Comments are Closed

  1. Stephanie says:

    Besides The Vagina Monologues, what plays at the Labia Theater?

  2. Sarah Frantz says:

    This is actually the insanely lucky man who is married to the Baroness du Bacqueseate, and I’m writing to add one important point that she neglected to mention.  You see, the local sout African pregnancy magazine has a monthly contest.  And for August, guess what they were giving away to one lucky winner?  Yep—a genuine Tata.  I got some strange looks in the shop when I noticed that.  Sigh.

  3. Tracy says:

    Is the museum named after the Countess Labia too?  “Labia Museum” bwahahahaahhahahahaha I’m also laughing like the immature person I am.

    Too funny.

  4. smartmensab-tch says:

    OMG!  The male model is anatomically correct!  At least, I think so…it’s been a long time since I’ve seen one in the flesh…

    Hmm.  Other countries, other cultures.

  5. Kerry Allen says:

    Baron du Bacqueseate: An extra Tata could be a godsend, particularly if one had triplets.

  6. Gwen says:

    Did anyone else notice that the female Australopithacus looks like she’s posing for a romance novel cover?  Wonde if they had them back then – carved out of stone like on the Flintstones. 

    Title ideas:
    Your Cave or Mine
    Grog’s Wildflower

    Thinking…

    Spaminator word: they24 – wasn’t that a 50’s movie about ants?

  7. iffygenia says:

    she’s posing for a romance novel cover

    The whole display has a very “St Grog and the Dragon” look to it.  Grog holding his sword at the ready (and that one too), defending the maiden tied to the stake.

    Wait, it’s not a dragon.  What’s that thing down below—a sabre-toothed tiger?

  8. Ok you made me look more closely. LOL

    No she isn’t just trying to look fetching, she seems to be afraid of the statue of the Virgin Mary, oh no, that’s the head of a (toothless?) saber tooth? 

    But more importantly, thank god Alpha Male is there to protect her with his rather smallish rock and crooked stick.  You Go Boyfriend!

    Who knew these natural history diorama’s are just as cheesy in other countries as they are in ours! 🙂

  9. Ok you made me look more closely. LOL

    No she isn’t just trying to look fetching, she seems to be afraid of the statue of the Virgin Mary, oh no, that’s the head of a (toothless?) saber tooth? 

    But more importantly, thank god Alpha Male is there to protect her with his rather smallish rock and crooked stick.  You Go Boyfriend!

    Who knew these natural history diorama’s are just as cheesy in other countries as they are in ours! 🙂

  10. Teddy Pig says:

    The question is… Are there bodacious Tatas?

  11. Cat Marsters says:

    Imagine MTV South Africa.  Pimp My Tata!

    Sheesh.  I thought I had it, living next to a village called Ugley.  I know a Maggots End and a Titsey, too.  But I take my hat off to the South Africans over this.

  12. Holy shit, I rode in a Tata when I visited India, a Tata Sumo, in fact, a popular model from the Tata makers.  I had no idea what tatas meant back then—not until today!  I’ve got to tell the insanely lucky man who’s married to me right away, before he realizes he’s not so insanely lucky.  🙂

    And in one of the most popular Indian movies in recent years, the theme song was sung by a pop singer from somewhere in Indochina named, you guessed it, Tata Young.



    Word Verif: foreign83, indeed.

  13. Lisa says:

    Heh. And I though the Kum & Go’s here in Iowa were amusing.

  14. romaddict says:

    I don’t post much but I’m coming out of lurkdom for a moment because I’ve gotta say that I miss what I used to really like about this website: interesting, amusing reviews of and discussions about romance novels. 

    The last few times I have checked this site out, I see this kind of random stuff (filler?) and/or endless discussions about political infighting amongst authors/reviewers in the romance community.  To be honest: not that interesting to me (a mere reader of romance).

    Is there any chance of some more stuff about actual romance novels being posted in the near future?

  15. Deb says:

    *adds to list of things to see when in Africa*

    “Honey, can we go see the Tatas now?”

    “But we don’t want to miss our show at the Labia!”

  16. Indian Girl says:

    Coming out of lurkdom to say … dude, I didn’t know we exported cars. Kudos to Ratan Tata (CEO), I guess.
    Can someone please explain the general amusement over the Tata? Is there some secondary meaning I don’t know about, or does it just sound funny?

  17. Sarah Frantz says:

    One’s “tatas” are one’s breasts, one’s pride and joy.  Or as Urban Dictionary lists:  one’s boobs, tits, breasts, knockers, melons, jugs, boobies, titties,  hooters, fun bags (?!), rack, chest, pillows, honkers.  Isn’t the english language great?

  18. Spaminator word: they24 – wasn’t that a 50’s movie about ants?

    It was called “Them!” actually—one of my 10 year old son’s favorite movies.  I can’t resist giving it the MST3K treatment every time we watch it, which could be why he loves it so.

    Fun bags?!?!

    Romaddict, the Smart Bitches blog is a mixed bag (though not a fun bag)—some romance discussion, some cover mocking, some just outright silliness.  Don’t fret.  They’ll get back to the serious discussions soon.  In the meantime, indulge your immature side (like me) and giggle madly at the Tata Service Entrance.

  19. Indian Girl says:

    Thank you for explaining Sarah Frantz, this makes a whole lot more sense now. The poor Tatas! Such nice little cars too.

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