Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Fist time posting, but I couldn’t help myself seeing the cover of Silver Angel… Is her hair eating her head? Come to think of it, on the second cover, her hair looks like it’s eying bowtie boy. Maybe it’s envious of that little red bow?

Is this the Bride of Frankenstein Unleashed? First she stole his heart, then his brain, then his little bowtie...and moved to the casbah in search of her one true love: Frankie with the Mullet and some serious make-up issues. Is that guy wearing eye shadow and blush?

This is totally of this subject.  Why are Cassie Edwards books still on the shelves at stores? 

And, if I’m not mistaken, I just saw a huge one page ad for a new release in a recent Romantic Times issue.

What’s going on?  Whatever came (besides Signet dumping her) of the whole plagiarism thing?

The last 2 covergirls are definitely albino.
If you could see the color of their eyes - it would be pink… It’s the only excuse I can think of.

1st book should be ‘velvet reflection’ - her hair is reflecting the surrounds: puky green dress, whatever…

Is that guy wearing eye shadow and blush?

C’mon, it was the eighties.  EVERYBODY had a mullet.  And all the really cool guys wore makeup.  INXS, The Cure, Adam Ant, oodles of others that I can’t remember anymore.

I seem to recall that the heroine of Silver Angel did have white hair, and some funky eye colour.  All Johanna Lindsey’s wimmin had strange and beautiful colouration.  At the time, I thought it was fabulous.  Ah, youth in the age of neon as fashion.

Can you imagine the contents of a book with the blurb on Silver Angel TODAY?
“Her tender passion turns lust into love, and master to slave”

It’d be a BDSM Ellora’s Cave release for sure ! lol

What is the guy in the first cover straddling? And what the hell is stuck down the back of his pants? As for the albino, she must have Super Glued those outfits to her boobies to keep them up.

Trannysong ?!  You guys make me laugh and I really needed that today.  BTW, I think her hair looks like a big blob of cotton candy without the dye.  Or, maybe fiberfill?

Ah, the unwound Q-tip hair! Love it.  I think rebyj is dead right about the blurb—lots of old skool romances have “teasers” that sound like something VERY different today.

I’m staring at Silver Angel and wondering just what is keeping her shirt on her boobs. Maybe some sort of nipple ring/button combo?

OH NO!  Here I was getting used to my natural platinum do, and now I’m just scared! Laughing, but scared. I’m not unwound yet, thankfully.

I’m staring at Silver Angel and wondering just what is keeping her shirt on her boobs. Maybe some sort of nipple ring/button combo?

Lyra, you just might have something there, but ouch.
.

I can’t go back to bed now because when I close my eyes I see the hair of Silver Angel devouring both of them.

No no, it’s really Susan Sto-Helit with her life-of-its-own hair.  You just know it styles itself.

Not for the first time, I wonder who was supplying the Avon cover dept with LSD.

(spamfilter: hot77.  No, I refuse to believe it was hot in ‘77.)

INXS, The Cure, Adam Ant, oodles of others that I can’t remember anymore.

Boy George.

but I love Adam Ant and INXS.....

Velvet Chains is an interesting title. Why not Velvet Ropes? That’d make a bit more sense. Now I’m imagining someone tying strips of velvet together much like you did in elementary school when making a paper chain.

Also, I got my first gray hair at 22. Now they just keep kind of showing up. At least this way when I’m in middle-age and wondering what the hell I did with my life I won’t have the added bonus of waking up with a gray hair in my face just reminding me how old I am. It’ll be old hat by then.

Everytime I see that white hair I just keep seeing Madonna circa “Who’s That Girl?”

Right?

I like the peek-a-boo pants on Silver Angel.  Also the manly “Ooh, look how my muscles strain against my manly arm bracelets!”

But I definitely think there’s a hint o’ nip on the right boob there.  But juuuuuust a hint.  We couldn’t have nipples being seen, ohnoes.

OMG, I have actually read the Lindsey one, which I remember BECAUSE of the cover.  I snuck it home from the library when I was thirteen.  (I checked it out, just hid it from my mom.) It’s pretty cheesy, and also possibly rape-tacular in the way old Lindseys are.

What’s with all the metal armbands on the Silver Angel dude? I count three that are visible. Does it signal his willingness to wear a metal cock ring?

The last two clearly depict what happened when Cruella DeVille finally met the much younger Dalmation breeder.

Also, might I add that said Dalmation breeder has gigantic hands?

Ya know, the more I look at the the woman’s hair on the last cover, the more I swear I can see a skeleton head in it. Weird.

And what the hell is stuck down the back of his pants?

That isn’t anything stuck down his pants that’s bird doodie!!!

Don’t forget those “Bride With White Hair” films—didn’t her locks do kung fu or something?

Clearly, the Nightsong was written by Dolly Parton.

Actually, I keep visualizing all these heroines rising from whatever anatomically improbable lying down pose they are in, and, due to sharing Aqua Net with Mullet Boy, her hair stays erect! Oh, the humanity!

I read the Lindsey title many moons ago but I have no idea what it was about. The only book of hers I really remember is Savage Thunder where the hero/heroine have sex on a horse....while galloping…

where the hero/heroine have sex on a horse....while galloping…

Ow.
Fuck.
Ow.

C’mon, it was the eighties.  EVERYBODY had a mullet.  And all the really cool guys wore makeup.  INXS, The Cure, Adam Ant, oodles of others that I can’t remember anymore.

And Prince--don’t forget Prince.

The Saran Wrap pants the chick wears in Silver Angel are just idiotic.  It’s not like they’d stay intact under any circumstances. 

Or.............

Maybe the chick has such pale hair and skin ‘cause she’s dead?  In that case plastic pants may be a good idea!  :)