Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

This is a tough call, and I say that as a reviewer, a writer and a reader.  The only time I get upset with reviews of my books is when the reviewer makes a fact error.  Otherwise, I consider it a matter of taste, and I’m satisfied most reviewers get what I’m trying to say. 

While I realize some covers are beyond the writer’s control, if an author designs a cover she should be prepared to face the music.  Over at AAR they just finished their “Worst Cover of the Year” contest and these were covers from major houses.  And they were howlers! 

So I wouldn’t worry too much about being “nice”.  There are plenty of places for that--I’d rather have the honesty of the Smart Bitches.  As I told someone about one of your reviews of my books, a B- from Smart Bitches outranks a fluffy bunny review from someone who doesn’t seem to have a feel for what it means to honestly evaluate a novel.

Leave it up.  Once you start editing the site to please a readership, it never ends.

And of course, if you do remove the cover then we all know which author is responsible for which bad cover.

The first thing a writer needs is a tough hide. I imagine an artist is no different. I know from experience that it is very hard to put your work out there and have someone shoot it down.

You definitely don’t pull punches, but I’ve always found your reviews to be very specific- not “this book sucked,” but “this and this and this and that sucked and here’s why.” At least that’s something from which an author can learn.

And I have to ask- if this author is familiar with this site, isn’t she forewarned that it can get snarky? Complaining about the treatment a cover gets here is like getting mad that you were ogled while working at Hooter’s.

I’m sorry author/artist but the cover really is bad. It would probably have been better for everyone if you (or the friend who sent the e-mail) left us with the impression that it was some faceless marketers who were responsible. As Sandy pointed out, they take it down now, and the situation becomes worse.

I come to this site for the honesty, and not a single one of the negative critiques are done out of maliciousness in my opinion. Thems the breaks.

Whoa damn, Darlene sort of said it all. Nice job! :)

Leave it up. It’s public, and open to criticism and commentary.

Speaking as someone who occassionally worries she’ll one day meet Gaelen Foley and have to offer scads of kleenex and a pound of flesh - because I really, really, really hate to hurt people’s feelings - and who has been regularly devastated by such comparatively tiny negative comments (it took me like a month to get over someone telling me my book was “kinda depressing at that one part"), I gotta say: don’t take it down.

I agree with everyone. It’s your blog and you two can say whatever you like, as long as you are comfortable with the boundaries you set for this blog.

Leave it up.  You Smart Bitches write balanced, intelligent reviews.  If you don’t like a book you give a valid reason why.  The same thing holds with covers.  Don’t start pulling what you’ve posted.  The author should use this as a head’s up!  Please please please, poor little author - get some help with your covers!  If the Smart Bitches snarked your cover it’s because it truly sucked big ol’ dunkey dick. 

Uh, Candy...Sarah...you do realize that we’re all DYING to know which cover it is, don’t you?

Perhaps you should run a contest and let us guess!

Ah, crap.  That’s probably too mean.  Nevermind.  Sorry.  Crap.  Karma’s going to kill me on this one.  My next cover will probably be filled with man-tittyhood and an open-mouthed bimbo whose hair is the wrong color.  Fuck.

I agree with everyone else above.  For all we know, the author might have agonized over that cover for days and days, but once the book’s on the market, she has no control over what people say about it.  And if she screams and cries because one blog out there in the Internet doesn’t like her cover, then that’s her own problem. 

Besides, show me a single book or book cover out there that that absolutely everyone loves.

Leave that naughty puppy on your site. You are expressing your opinion, on your own personal website, and it’s not your job to make sure everybody is happy. If she sees your comments, then so be it. As a publishing author, she can hardly expect to read nothing but lovely remarks.

Fortunately or unfortunately, you can’t have your work enter the public realm without subjecting it to criticism. I don’t believe that anyone who writes for a living (as I do, so I know a little about this) has a thick enough skin NOT to be offended by criticism at some point.  But that’s the price we pay for wanting the adulation that can only come when we willingly and willfully submit our work to others, isn’t it? 

Beyond the issues of free speech and self-censorship, which are not inignificant here, IMO, is the simple fact that your criticism of this author’s cover has also earned her some free publicity, and that for each person who hates said cover, someone else will likely find something appealing about it—even if it’s just out of curiosity.

So you’ve found yourselves on the point of the double-edged sword; no one with strong opinions can escape offending or being offended.  A strong voice—whether yours or the author’s in question—will find itself on one side of the equation or the other.

Leave it up dudes.  I get email every week complaining I’m mean about people, and I don’t even usually mention names.

If you start censoring yourselves now, you’ll start wondering about every post.

You guys do a fabulous job - you one of the most popular romance review blogs on the web.

Oh crap - that will teach me for commenting before I look at the covers.  I know the author too - she is really really nice, and the book is fabulous lol.

I still say leave it up though *g*

Leave it up.  It is your site, your opinion and you are equally snarky to all who come by.  I say that as a wannabe writer who expects snarky reviews at some point.

Did the author/artist’s mother write that letter?  I’m wondering.

Unless there are factual errors, or you’ve noticed whoaaaa-jesus bias on something that pressed your buttons, or somebody with lots of money is threatening to sue you, why take it down?

oh hell, keep it. I know a few years from now, when I’m pubbed and my son has drawn my fab cover, I’ll regret this post.. but keep it.

X

Another keep it up.  One of the books is an absolute keeper for me but I agree.  The cover completely freaks me out.  I bought the book due to word of mouth and I don’t know that I would have ever picked up the book to read the backblurb because of the cover.

So yeah, covers have impact and I would think that even though it will hurt, the author in question may realize that her cover was not as conducive to selling her story as she may have wished.

CindyS

Are you kidding me?  As far as I’m concerned, if you put something out there publicly, you are asking for people to form opinions about it.

You can’t pick and choose which kind of critiques you’re going to get.  Some people will like, others will think it’s sucky, that’s just life surely?

As for not hurting the authors feelings, it’s not like you attacked her personally… you judged her work and found it wanting.  She should take the criticisms and perhaps learn from it, if she wants to.

The actual author probably appreciated the feedback, and if not, tough titties!

So basically what I’m saying is leave the damned review where it is! (g)

Stand by your snark.

While I empathize with the author´s plight, I feel we have to sensor ourselves and “play nice” more than enough in our daily lives, to the point where people are actually grateful when somebody finally stands up and says it like it is.

If I want nice I’ll go visit some other website. Besides- as every one else has pointed out, you didn’t do this specifically to hurt someone’s feelings. You’re snarky but not malicious.

BTW- any plans to do covers you do like? Puh-leese!!?

I’m going to go against what everyone else said and say “You nasty Bitches, take it down and repent! You should always be considerate of someone’s feelings”

Ha. Yeah, right. Anyone who knows me is laughing their ass off right now. Sarah, I was just thinking about this last night, about how I can be ultra-snarky sometimes when talking about a book on my blog (for instance, I am very disappointed in LKH and said so!) and how I’d feel if I was an author.

The answer is, of course I’d be pissed and trash the reader/reviewer to all my friends ;) But that’s just me. On the ohter hand, I think I know enough about the publishing industry to expect that I’m going to have bad reviews, people who don’t like my cover art, people who just plain don’t like me. Of course, since I don’t plan on becoming an author, I don’t have to worry about that. Well, except the people who just plain don’t like me. But I rarely worry about that anyway.

Leave. I think poking fun at a cover is WAY less crushing than poking fun at a book. Besides, who needs to be a writer AND an artist? That’s just too much talent for one person. Heheh.

Censoring is evil.  Be what you are…

Oh hey, yall snarked The Lotus Eaters cover.  Heh...the sword placement was on purpose to make you laugh.  If ya knew me, you’d know....anything for a laugh.

Just keep it coming!

Whoa.  This isn’t even a close call.  Your little About section on the side says, “...who will always give it to you straight. No bullshit. No gushing--unless the author really deserves it.” You gotta stick by that. 

Some covers suck.  Some writing sucks.  Sure, it’s not easy to read if you’re the target (spoken from the viewpoint of a potential future target) but you guys have always kept it real and shouldn’t stop now.  There’s a reason the site isn’t called Lame Ass Bitches.

I like that you guys stick to your guns. You have integrity. You’re not crazy fan girls who gush and coo over a favorite author’s work even it “sucked donkey balls”.

I agree with Robyn when she says a writer needs a tough hide. I also believe, however, that if a critic says that a book sucks the big one, he or she better be prepared to give the reasons why it did.

That said, I think your cover reviews are awesome.

The person who wrote to you begging you to remove the cover of her friend’s book is not doing her friend a favor.  Criticism is part of life.  The author needs to get used to it and develop a tough skin or she’s going to allow herself to be hurt badly.  Her friend may think she’s helping but she’s not.

I have to go with the majority here. I’ve had some reviews I thought were a bit harsh, and in some cases the review sites agreed, and removed them, but in most of them, they stood by their reviewers, because they have the right to express their opinion.

As for the author also being the artist...we have a few folks who write for us who also have experience in graphic arts programs who will submit art as a suggestion. Our art department gives it a serious evaluation and says yea or nay. If nay, they offer suggestions on how to make it up to par. But it does have to be up to par to be used. No exceptions.

Telling someone their work is good when it isn’t doesn’t help them, and sets them up for these kind of situations. And you have to take the insults with the compliments.

I agree with everyone else here.

Though I know there would be a part of me that would be hurt if I were in that author’s shoes, I think another part of me would have to appreciate knowing that I had literally turned people away from even giving my book a shot solely based on the cover.  That would probably be the thing that hurt more, come to think of it: knowing I was the one responsible for losing out on a larger audience for my story.

Finally, I’m assuming pretty much *all* of the authors that have covers that are woefully bad also are relatively nice people with friends and family that are cringing on their behalf.  Is it kinder to let them go on in ignorance of why their sales aren’t what they could be?  I don’t think so.

*sigh* I started an email about books I’d read (ebooks, mainly) that were good and had bad covers, but then I looked through the pubs and realized that there are some truly horrid covers out there and that I definitely do base some of my purchasing on the cover, even though I know it’s what ‘s inside that counts.  So bad covers can impact sales.

You’re right that it is a tough call. But the fact remains that this is your site, it’s a review site, and you are not required to pull something because it might “hurt someone’s feelings”. If you were inciting people to go out and murder those who didn’t come up with good covers, that would be a different story. But you’re not, and if the author doesn’t like what you have to say, he or she doesn’t have to come here anymore.

Here’s another consideration: I visit this site because you’re honest. I have learned through previous posts that you can be relied upon to say what you think and accept other viewpoints, to contribute to lively discussion. You have upheld your end of the implicit bargain with me the reader by speaking truthfully. If you pulled the review, I believe it would break that bargain, and it’s a slippery slope downhill.

My vote firmly goes for keeping the review up. You are entitled to your opinion, we love to hear your honest opinions and express our own, and the rest is all just mouthwash. It may sting a little, but nobody has to swallow it.

One of my favorite things about this site is the seeing and calling of covers that truly need help.

I mean, damn and blast, folks, wasn’t there anyone with EYES at these publishers when the covers of death and questionable taste were conceived? Was there noone brave enough to stand up and say “Um, HELL NO. We’re NOT adorning our covers with a phallic symbol crafted in such a manner that young virgins have unrealistic expectations and sob in the bathroom on their wedding night from utter disappointment.” I mean, come on!

I, for one, think that the photoshopped, MSPaint striking back, Fabio-man-titty-loving covers are such good comic relief that I never wanna see them go by the wayside.

P.S. *Note: sarcasm ahead* We’re sowwy that we’ve hurt your widdle tender feewings. Now, suck it up, sister, and quit yer incessant whining!

Putting yourself out there invites comment. Putting yourself out there with a cheesy, busting-out bosomed, huge-o-cock-o-mania-ed, man-titty buffet of a cover invites ridicule.

did you write “sucked donkey cock” in a review?

did you write “sucked donkey cock” in a review?

I’m not sure if either of us have used that exact term. I do know that in my review of The Real Deal, I noted that the book sucked monkey ass.

Keep the cover up.  Nobody guaranteed life would treat authors with kid gloves when they were published.  Heck, the author should concentrate on the fact she /did/ get published and move on to the next book.

Cover artist here. I read your cover reviews to laugh and to learn, so please don’t compromise your honesty. I truly want to know what readers think sucks big green donkey dicks.

Why in the world is it even a question?  You have a review site.  It might upset people.  If people never ever want to hear a bad thing about their work, they shouldn’t show it to anyone but their mother.

And ten to one that friend… was the author.

I am sorry but asking you to remove something is beyond stupid.  Unless you decide you or candy were wrong and now like the cover - leave it up.  It is what you guys do.

Huh...lol I just checked out April’s site and realized those are the covers that I’ve noticed as being some of the better ones out there.  Not all of them, but the majority are ones I wouldn’t mind seeing on print covers in B&M stores.

You go girls! Don’t let’em get you down. Honest, impersonal,funny LOL reviews are impossible to find. Except here. Don’t change.

To Ms. Author & her ‘friend’: take criticism & learn or forget it. If you whine & cry & complain you’ll never grow.

Yikes, this donkey cock is really taking shape: first it was just a donkey cock, then an old donkey cock, and now it’s big and green, too.  :bug:

If the cover is any of the three in the post below, an old, big, green donkey cock would make a better cover than those.  :cheese:

“If the cover is any of the three in the post below, an old, big, green donkey cock would make a better cover than those.”

My copy of Fallen from Grace (which is a great book, BTW) has a completely different, and IMO far superior cover.  I don’t think I would have bought the book with the current cover, and am completely confused by the change in cover art, especially since the version I have looks much more polished and professionally produced.  Maybe I have a new version—I hope?

maybe you have the paperback cover - it’s certainly better, but not fabulous.

http://www.ecampus.com/bk_detail.asp?isbn=1410401812&referrer=ing0405

You know this site

http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/

and the friends’ submissions it sprouted

http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/readers_covers.htm ?

Sorry, seems my link has temporarily screwed the settings of your blog. Too bad I can’t delete and repost my entry. I’ll do better next time. ;)

Leave it up. I see a ton of bad covers all over the place, particularly by Ellora’s Cave and other indie-type publishers, and they’re bad. If ya’ take stuff down to please one person, it never ends. And if someone can’t face up to how bad their design is, then they’ll inflict more on us.

And I, for one, can’t stand much more bad cover art in romance. It’s embarrassing. (Have you ever seen the covers Dara Joy designs for her now self-published books? Horrifying!!)

“maybe you have the paperback cover - it’s certainly better, but not fabulous.”

Yup, that’s it.  Certainly not a cover I’d laud as great, but in comparison to the other version, vastly, vastly more professional looking IMO. At the very least, it doesn’t look computer generated.  I HATE those covers that look like bad cut and paste jobs.  I do hate the new Dara Joy covers, too, but I feel badly enough that she’s having to self-publish that I tend to overlook the cover art (and doesn’t her partner serve as the male model?).

Ahem.

‘Bleu Donkey Kock’ was used in reference to the Underworld the movie (which I enjoyed).  I laughed my ass off when I read this and kept thinking that maybe that should have been Bitchy Bitchy Bang Bang’s real name.  But then Sarah always comes up with the great names!

I also thought it was hilarious that Candy is all, no, I don’t think we have ever used this term.  *innocent blink* I did say something about monkey ass though.

Makes me laugh every time.

Oh, and I imagine that years from now when they are studying our culture we are coming to come off as some weird ass mother fuckers!  Hmm, they seemed to be attracted to computer generated men and women - shit no!  At least we won’t be known for having a BJ in the oval office - there is no way back from that.

CindyS

OK.  I very UNWISELY decided to check out the newer Dara Joy covers.  Not a smart move when you have a mouthful of coffee. 

Two words:  Wildcat Arrows.

What the hell kind of name is that?!!

And I thought that cover was bad until I saw “That Familiar Touch.”

‘If ya’ take stuff down to please one person, it never ends. And if someone can’t face up to how bad their design is, then they’ll inflict more on us.’

Right right. What I did when a forum made fun of some of ours was look at them, go “Damn, they are a bit freaky” and trot to our art director. I also made notes from a discussion on this blog as well.

You can’t run your business solely on what people think, but you do have to take it into consideration. Your friends won’t tell you if your art is dorky, but it may very well be.

Hmm, I’d say said author ought to actually be happy now.  Better a great book with a suckass cover (and one well publicized by the smart bitches) than one that sucks any kind of donkey cock but has a tasteful cover.

True, though I read the first book in the series that the middle cover in the post below is the second of and well...it kinda sucked and I could barely finish it.  Similar cover, too.

I’m a bit late to the party, but I’ll throw in my .02 anyway. 

I say leave it up.  It may sting when she sees it, but anything that goes out for public consumption runs the risk of being unfavorably reviewed.  That’s where “develop a thick hide” comes in to play. 

I requested a review from the Smart Bitches because I knew you two would give it to me straight.  Not only that, but it would probably be funny (and it was), even while I winced and groaned as I read it.  Thing is, I printed it out and sometimes use it for reference.  There are some things in the reviews I agree with, some I don’t and some I will use over and over to help me improve.  And that’s what makes it worth a bit of ego-bruising.  Plus, it was fair in that not once was I criticized personally, only the work.  That’s what a good review is all about.

So, after that long-winded bit of navel-gazing, I think it wouldn’t do the author any favors to take it down for fear of hurt feelings.  If the cover is so bad that it may be affecting sales, she should seriously take that into account the next time she designs a cover.  The fact that she had that much control over it amazes me.  If she’s blessed with that level of input again, I hope she takes the SB review of this last cover into account.

Last but not least, to remove it would open up a huge can of worms for SB.  If you remove one, you’ll end up either removing all or trying to justify each and every one.  That would be a shame, because SB is where lots of us come to get the straight skinny.

Geez. Now I’m trying to figure out which one it could be . . .

Coming in late to comment here, but I say keep the cover. Yes, it will hurt the author, and I can see myself in such a place (been there, done that, survived my ugly covers), and it is better to be upfront about it.

Especially once a book is out there, there is no avoiding a variety of opinion.  And in the long run it may even help point out things to be avoided to potential art designers who may be reading here.

I’m a writer. I say keep it. I’ve been the subject of bad reviews before, and you know, it’s all part of the game. Honest to God, all ink is good ink, you’re getting that author attention she wouldn’t otherwise have gotten and believe it or not, it’s more likely to sell a book for her than lose her a sale. Either way, it’s not like you guys come looking for us; we put ourselves out there. This site is based on your opinions, and if you start pulling punches, then you don’t have as much to offer. It’s smart bitches, not polite bitches. God bless.

L.