Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Candy busted out with a brilliant quick examination of authors that the rest of the world thinks are just the damn greatest ever, but leave her kinda lukewarm. (Is there a more boring, perfectly-wrought word than “lukewarm?” It makes me feel bad for boys named “Luke,” but what a great word!) I don’t entirely agree with her choices, so let me make a list of my own.

Authors whom Candy thinks are “meh” but whom I think are “Maaaaaaaahvelous:”

• Nora Roberts: oh it is so cliche to love La Nora, but damn, she writes some wonderful male characters. I think that’s my favorite thing about her novels - that and the heroines always have neat-o occupations and hobbies.
• Suzanne Brockmann: again, cliche. And again, it’s all about the men. She writes some excellent heroes, and I am a sucker for a realistic man in a contemporary.
• Susan Elizabeth Phillips: again, serve me up a piping hot cliche on the favorite author buffet, but with a few missteps aside (Honey Moon among them - shudder) she has some roller coaster novels that I love. First Lady in particular is one of my very favorites.

Authors who I love:

• Julia Quinn: though her plots have been getting steadily darker over the past few novels, her early Bridgerton books are among my favorites. Light, funny, and dang can she write some wonderful dialogue. Makes me wish for a crapload of brothers and sisters. And her stories have made me cry on more than one occasion. 
• Teresa Medeiros: She likes to reexamine fairy tales for the structure of her novels, but her books are wonderful stories. And I’ve met her - she’s a very, very nice person, so I am happy to buy her books and give her the royalties
• Jennifer Crusie: Candy turned me on to how good she is, and damn. Candy was so right. Crusie is very, very good.
• Eloisa James: I love to hate this woman for a myriad of selfish petty reasons, but one of them is that I am damnably jealous that she is so smart, talented, and so very clever with her books. Duchess in Love is a wonderful, wonderful book.
• Lisa Kleypas: Another heavy hitter in the cliched “authors I like” list, but Kleypas also writes a wonderful story, with characters that are unique, interesting, and likeable. And when you think about the absolute mountain of romances that have been published, coming up with new and clever characters is quite an accomplishment.

Authors who I cannot understand how they get published:

• Linda Howard: I know people like her books but I have read only one that was passable. The others I wanted to toss into the ocean.
• Stella Cameron: I once read a book of hers that I bought from a street vendor for $2. It was so bad I wanted to toss it under a subway rail. At one point, this roughened cop of a hero is rushing to the bedside of a sleeping heroine who is being tormented by a nightmare, and as she’s tossing and wailing, he puts his hand over his eyes and thinks to himself, “Why is there so much sorrow and heartbreak in the world?” You should have seen my face. I think I might have said OUT LOUD on the subway, “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Authors who have broken my heart by becoming caricatures of their former selves:

• Jude Deveraux: Jude, Jude, why hast thou forsaken me? I LOVED Knight in Shining Armor. In fact, I was cleaning my office up tonight in anticipation of moving in the coming months, and I found I own TWO copies of that book. The ending, the middle, the beginning - oh it’s wonderful. But Angel for Emily? What the hell was that? Her early books are glorious. Her recent efforts are leave-on-the-shelf-and-walk-away-now.
• Catherine Coulter: she was the first romance author I ever read. I loved Midsummer Magic, and the “Night” trilogy, but then the Sherbrooke series was a little flat. Then she started writing contemporary thrillers, and Lord have mercy, they were as likely as some of the Linda Howards I read in January to end up in the wrong end of the ocean. I remember clearly buying a copy of The Maze, starting it on the beach, and fifty pages in turning to Hubby and wailing, “This books is AWFUL!” I was heartbroken that an author I had counted on for a saucy, classic romance and turned tepid on me. Oh, the sadness.

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Candy said on...
03.11.05 at 09:34 PM |

Evangeline said on...
03.12.05 at 12:47 AM |

Rene said on...
03.12.05 at 12:57 PM |

Sarah said on...
03.18.05 at 07:23 PM |