Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Oh, those Brits.  Can’t see the forest for the, uh . . . tits.

Actually, mine don’t cope well at all with warming.  I suppose that’s because they’re starting to sag.  Before I get into TMI territory, let me say that I could cope quite nicely with some man-titty during those warm times.  Or, better yet, cold ones.  Or, hell, any time at all.

I’ve got great tits (well, *I* think so)...does that mean I’m safe from global warming?

(Conf. word: over69. I think NOT.)

Apparently, great tits are laying eggs earlier in the spring, too.

I have to believe that the schmoe who wrote that title was curled up in a little ball under his desk, hiding from the clue gun.

Hilarious as usual. Thanks for the laugh, Candy.

my bird-watching grandma to my uk-born husband, “Do you have great tits in England?”

the poor boy took a long time to answer… but he managed to keep a straight face…

I have to believe that the schmoe who wrote that title was curled up in a little ball under his desk, hiding from the clue gun.

Oh, I guarantee he knew exactly what he was writing, and the joke is so old now he probably only earned an eyeroll from his editor.

I remember watching a sketch comedy show on BBC in a hotel in London when I was 16, and the announcer said, very seriously, “After the commercial interruption, we’ll be showing some great tits.”

I almost crapped myself.

After the break, they did a full five minutes on the nesting habits of the great tit (and other assorted tits) which was extremely disappointing, I’ll have you know.

All I have to say is:

Great tits challenge evolutionary theory ...

http://www.admin.ox.ac.uk/po/050106.shtml

Hmm, I wonder if there’s any current news coverage on the great North American spankable ass.

Thank you, thank you, I’m here all week, try the veal ...

— Bonz

You know, I can vaguely remember a book in which the hero was comparing his beloved’s breasts to soft white doves, which made NO sense and kind of creeped me out.  It’s starting to become clear to me now…

try73 ways to liken body parts to birds.

For more birds-with-unfortunate-names related humour go here;
http://www.indietits.com/
Featuring a couple of tits, some boobies, and a yelling bird!
Very amusing.

People were asking-"Where’s Candy at?!?”, and when she comes back, its with tits and boobies....

YAY Candy!

Tits and boobies! The perfect way to start the day!

Aprops of nothing but also related to birds, EVERY time I navigate to the site lately, I’m convinced that the clinched couple on the What Happens in Vegas cover is a plucked raw chicken.

my Google image results, let me show you them.

I think I need help.

Aprops of nothing but also related to birds, EVERY time I navigate to the site lately, I’m convinced that the clinched couple on the What Happens in Vegas cover is a plucked raw chicken.

I knew that cover was creeping me out for some reason… :-)

i can’t believe other bitchery readers know indietits! awesommmeeeeeeee.

my first thought before i clicked on the link was, i should be all set then! cuz i have been told repeatedly that i do, indeed, have great tits. :-)

Mala...I...can’t....breathe.

I’m laughing because the cover was creeping me out, too, and I couldn’t figure out why, either!

Also in the apropos of nothing category - although I suppose it could be one of those When Authors Are on Deadline things - since my name is Jolie and there’s a rather famous person with that last name, I’m sometimes surprised to read about “my” exploits in the tabloids.  My favorite (and which I cut out and tacked to my bulletin board): Jolie Voted Best Tits in Hollywood.

In your face, old boyfriend.

Don’t you love how the subheads for the great tits story are “perfect timing” and “different strokes”? I agree with Kirsten—totally intentional!

VioletIndiana and Julie - Isn’t it seriously creepy? What the heck is a plucked chicken with a tattoo doing on the SBTB site?

I know this isn’t related to birds, but it is somewhat related:

I was driving behind a minivan the other day and read a bumper sticker so funny I almost peed my pants.

With a pink ribbon just to the side, the text read, “Save the TaTas!”

kryslu,

Go here and get one for yourself!  http://www.savethetatas.com/

My daughters are big supporters of the “Save the Tatas” campaign.  They like to combine their Tatas shirts with shorts they got from my best friend, who teaches at the University of South Carolina.  Their team is the Gamecocks, so my 17 and 25 year old girls can often be seen wearing shirts that say “tatas” and shorts that say “cocks.” Great image.

SonomaLass, thanks for the link! Obviously, I misremembered the actual design of the sticker/magnet, but I will definitely be ordering one (or more!) for myself!

And, on a “small world” note. I am sitting here in my living room in Pelion, SC, not even 25 miles from USC!

Candy!!! So good to see you again mon cheri! Where the hell have you been?? Did my badgering work or are you gonna live us again?? We’ll I’m not giving up on you just yet-I’m gonna keep on coming here and hounding you guys every day until you (Candy) start making regular appearance. :-D