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azteclady said on...
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This is so not cool. eBay needs to grow a backbone and do something.
And what does the person get from stealing the reviews? How does it profit them in any way?
Categories: Random Musings
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by Candy • Wednesday, December 14, 2005 at 12:30 PM
I bought a king-size candy bar today (a Milky Way, to be precise, which is known as the Mars Bar in pretty much the rest of the world and God, what is WITH THAT anyway? So confusing when I first moved here, because I don’t want no steeeenking almonds in my candy bar) but ANYWAY, as I grabbed it out of the bag to bring up to the office, I noticed that it was, well, kind of disturbingly cock-like in length and girth. Then I thought about it further and realized, damn, I’ve actually been with guys who were smaller than this candy bar.
(insert joke about eating something out)
I can’t decide if this means I need to get laid more often, or less.
And yes, I needed to share this with the readership. Because I’m hoping somebody else will let me know that they’re as easily-amused as me, just so I don’t feel like as much of a freak.
Wait ‘til you buy a sausage. Slim Jim or MEGA HUGE ITALIAN/POLISH, doesn’t matter.
*snickersnicker*
LOL I’m easily amused too.
And *cry* I have an RTB post on Friday and I still don’t know what to write about.
So I’m procrastinating.
See, the sausage thing would’ve been way, way obvious, and therefore not as funny to me. Ditto cucumbers and the like. My amusement with the candy bar lay (har har lay) with fact that I really wasn’t expecting the association at all.
This calls for the link to the LPGA pic…
http://www.bobandtom.com/gen3/1cover_img/golf_trophy.jpg
(can’t do links, sorry...)
oh dear God… erm…
sorry - don’t know how that happened, honest.
(hmmm the antispam password for this one is “almost69” - clearly, the Universe must be telling me something!)
I wanna play golf with that chick.
Can’t say I’ve ever noted the phallic qualities of candy bars.
The things I learn here....
Candy:
You could try a Marianne Faithfull with your king sized Milky Way. That might satisfy both craves at the same time.
Trudi
Ohmigod, that picture is AWESOME. Thank you, azteclady. And… wow. That thing would put even The Very Tall Husband to shame.
So I just did some measuring, and the King Size Milky Way is about 5.5” in length and about 4.5” in girth. Not too shabby--certainly well within the range of the average American pen0r--or the American pen0rs I’ve come in contact with, at any rate.
Oh MAN I’m bored at work today. Can you tell?
lol Yes, we can tell.
5.5” is normal? Man, I guess I really am lucky. Wonder what DH would say if I asked him to measure girth for me...*g*
i’ll admit to thinking about that. of course i’m the one who eats pocky and makes all my guy friends twitch, apparently liking and sucking on a stick of pretzle with chocolate (apparently it looks like really really skiny oral sex) then biting the thing in half is a bad thing.
also, pop bottles, i’ve seen a friend deepthroat one… it was rather disturbing.
Aimey
I think what it means is that we need to fashion an army of well-endowed chocolate men, who live only to serve and pleasure us with their “melt in our mouths, not in our hands” bodies of cacao-y goodness.
Jesus Christ, do I need to get laid....
What I wanna know is - why are you eating a Milky Way when you COULD be eating a Milky Way Midnight? Dicks, schmicks - a girl can always guarantee herself good candy if nothing else.
*smile* You are welcome, Candy. Mostly, I’m relieved that by posting it (instead of the link I was trying to post) I didn’t commit some terrible breach of netiquette.
The explanation for the Mars/Milky Way bar thing can be found in “The Emperors of Chocolate: Inside the Secret World of Hershey and Mars” by Joel Glenn. Parts of it are really dry, but the history of the Mars family and Milton Hershey are fascinating, as is the explanation of the candy-making industry. It’s a little dated, because I think there have been several mergers of big name candy companies since it was written. But it can answer the naming question, at least.
Two thoughts:
Now I’ll have to buy one to see how I stack up.
At least mine won’t turn your hands brown.
[insert Dirty Sanchez joke here]
Speaking of which, have you ever bestown a Contessa de la Sanchez Sucia award?
Damn, you guys, that photo is amazing! ROTFL- Maybe I need to buy chocolate bars more often. The chocolate/sex thing Husband & I laugh about is that Lindt truffle balls are about the size of ben wa balls. THe white chocolate & peanut butter truffles are the best BTW.
That picture… dear Lord… that’s awesome! BEST. PICTURE. EVAH!!! LMAO!
12.14.05 at 12:52 PM |