Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Marry me.

Oh, you forgot to mention that Carpathians instantly bond with women, and that the women don’t have any say in the matter, but it’s okay because they fall in love with the Carpathians eventually anyway.  I think the doggie-style may have something to do with it.

LOL! Oh, no! I just checked out “Dark Prince” and “Dark Challenge” from the library. Guess if I read these two I can consider myself thoroughly up to speed and can skip all 3,256 other titles, right?

Thanks for the insight. I’ll be looking for that doggy-style…

Sorry Jonquil - I’m already married! But thanks for the offer! And yes, you are right that I forgot to mention the instant bond that the heroines have little say over. I mean, on one hand I can appreciate the fantasy of never having to worry whether you’ve found the right man - hey! Suddenly you will DIE without this DUDE. But on the other hand? Just a bit overbearing, no?

And Lynn, don’t worry. Initially they are very very absorbing! Very dark and sexual and Feehan does create a very interesting spin on vampire myths. But just about every other book in the series is similar to the first few so you don’t have to break yourself chasing down the whole series.

Oh...I love this.  THIS is why I hate these books.  Though I could barely finish the first one and the second was agony.  I even tried some other of her books because everyone was drooling over her.  Ick.

I read a Feehan short story in one of the endless anthologies and that is exactly what happened.  The chick was a kitty cat or something but I still think they did it doggie style.  Well, I guess cats do it that way too.  What I really despised is that the characters were Good and Noble Beyond All Human Standards.  Overblown was the term I thought of while I was reading it.

Woof.

Brilliant!!! Thanks for finally putting into words what I have felt for a long time.  Glad to know I am not the only one.  They make such a hoopla about Feehan every time a book comes out that I find myself thinking “Maybe she came up with something different.” Nope.  Big disappointment.  Which leads to two words: NEVER. AGAIN.

I’ve never managed to finish one yet.  It’s like she has the plots for two and a half books crammed into one.  Toooo much going on.  Never mind the plot rut, just too damn fraught for me to keep reading.

You forgot the incredible asshattedness of every single fucking Carpathian hero.  EVERY.  SINGLE.  ONE.

“I am a Carpathian male, I must fuck you silly every time I see you, preferably within 30 seconds of you entering the room.  I can do no other.  Oh, and I also cannot use contractions, recognize that you have a brain, or stop drinking from your throat before you pass out.  I must provide the angsty how-could-I drama for the reader… I can do no other...”

Bah.  She fell off my auto-buy list long ago, hung onto the “might” buy list for a little bit, and has wound up on the “never again” list.

This sums it up perfectly--it’s better than the real thing.

http://www.likesbooks.com/ppp20031.html#dark

Kudos, madame.

If I read the words “for all time” one more time, I’m going to puke. I found it 3 times in a two page spread in one book! What is wrong with the word “forever”?

Well maybe I ain’t as smart as you Bitches, cause I read ‘em and I liked ‘em.

So there.*sticks out tongue*

With every “fiber of my being” I hated the series, but couldn’t stop reading it. Perhaps it was the allure of the constant doggie style sex that kept me panting and coming back for more. And oh hell yes, I have pre-ordered “Dark Demon,” and look forward to bending over some more.

Just once, I want one of these Carpathian bastards to turn out gay. That would make me so very happy. Except the others would probably make him mate with some poor psychic chick anyway so they can have a precioussss my precioussss baby. If you live forever, what the hell difference does it make if you reproduce?

Thanks for the review!  So true.  I had just checked out one of her books from the local library, Dark Challenge.  Mercy!  Now I can use my precious free time to look for more interesting romances...I love this website!!

I actually enjoyed Dark Destiny, which I read after Jacques book.  I enjoyed the descriptions of the villagers and the multiple lives that seemed to have something happening in them.

Oh, I know that’s unusual and very frowned upon in the Feehan world.  I’m just sayin.

The only Feehan book I have read was a non-Carpathian one called THE SCARLETTI CURSE.  The hero didn’t suck the heroine’s blood, but they were both psychic, and he decided that she was his mate and since he was a lord and she was a peasant, she didn’t have any say in the matter. He just carried her off to his palazzo and kept her under guard until she said “I do."(It’s set in Renaissance Italy.) Also, he was in his 30’s and she was 16.  SIXTEEN!  However, I did like it, and if I ever find a copy at the Sally Anne I’ll buy it.  But I don’t have any desire to read the Carpathian books.  I have a problem with vampire romances in general.  As Stan on South Park would say, “Dude, you suck people’s blood!”

It was one of the Carpathian books (I’ve done my best to burn the title from my memory) that put me off of romances for over a year. It was the first book I ever considered not just throwing against the wall, but pinning it there with a knife.

I’d read a few others in the series and they were all kind of blah. Same uber-alpha male Carpathian, same dormat of a heroine, same recycled sex scenes. Blah, blah, blah. But this particular book in the series went too far. The hero rapes the heroine. But it’s okay because he loves her and they’re meant to be together!

Oh, F U, Ms. Feehan. That’s not romance, that’s assault and abuse and after that I wanted the “hero” dead. I never read another of that series and I haven’t touched a single one of her books since. I warn people away from them.

I’m finally reading romance again but it took me a long time to get over the sour taste that author left me with.

I loved your dead on review, however, I’m sorry to say I love her Dark series only because even though each one follows the SAME EXACT PREDICTABLE PATTERN, (which is why I stopped reading Beatrice Small, V.C. Andrews...) it’s the pattern I LIKE. It’s like eating your favorite candy bar or same boring ice cream favor. You get hooked sometimes to same predictable boring flavors, ‘cause damnit you just like them and that’s ok. Carpathians are my comfort food.

plus, I like the doggie style.

Erin,
Which one was that?  I stopped reading them after about 10 in...figured the overall story arc was not interesting enough to get through any more of them.  But I don’t remember a rape…

thanks,
RS