Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

To make something I’m about to eat have no calories or artery-clogging properties.

I would be able to run my fingers through my hair and it would be perfectly styled.

On waking up, I would wave my hands and I would be magically washed, dressed, with my hair styled and my face made up. Oh, and there would be a steaming mug of coffee and toast with marmalade sitting on my desk.

(I am not a morning person.)

I’d love a paperwork spell!

I’d wave my hand and the spell would accurately fill in any documents, paperwork, reports, taxes, accounts, contracts, etc. (This spell rocks!).

Just the thought of never having to do taxes again…. what magic!

oh how exciting.

I would like to have a spell that could cloak my desk and computer at work from everybody else’s eyes (but specially my manager’s) so that I can spend the whole day reading blogs, writing reviews and reading ebooks without worrying that someone will catch me in flagrante delicto.

I call it the ‘daily wish’. One different wish for every day…

Let all the crap build up, then do the ‘dirt removal’ wish one day.
When you have a date and nothing to wear with bad hair, go for the ‘make me gorgeous’ wish.
When you find a room full of hot men - ‘make their clothes invisible ‘wish.

There are not enough days in the year for the rest of my fantasies, oops I mean, wishes. lol

I would love to have a spell that would boost self esteem. I can’t even begin to estimate how much time I waste every day just by worrying about not being sexy or successful or thin or XYZ enough - simply not goodenough. I bet some of you know what I’m talking about! Frankly, I’m sick of it, so I would love a spell to get rid of low self esteem, in me and in others as well. Because life’s just too darn short for that!

I would like a spell that magically follows my husband throughout the day. For example, the spell would magically close every cabinet and drawer he leaves open. (Sometimes my kitchen looks just like the kitchen in The Sixth Sense, you know, after the ghosts got through with it?) And the spell would also magically put away his shoes when he leaves them under the coffee or kitchen table. And the spell would throw away all the snot-filled Kleenex he leaves on various tables throughout the house. Oh, and the spell would close all the doors he leaves open and the lights he leaves on.

That would be one hefty spell, but it would definitely open up some free time for me.

Bullshit meter

Holy crap!  I need the magic spell that can put some extra cash in the check book when I want to buy something way cool.  Is that selfish?  Not a butt load of cash, just a little here and there so my husband isn’t crying cause I spent money on a toy at Walmart for the kids.  Ya know? 

And “CT”, I wouldn’t mind a husband follower either.  I can totally relate to open cabinets, cheese wrappers, and shoes in the middle of the floor.  I thought I was the only one misfortunate enough to be married to a first grader.  Heehehe.

I’d love to have a spell where I snap my fingers and I’m transported to where I want to go.  I have a hellish commute (a hour and half in the morning and 2 to 2 and half hours in the evening) from home to work and back and this spell would make my life much more easier.

A spell that with the snap of my fingers would take the pain away even if only for a few minutes. I’ve lived with it for so long now that I’m not sure I recall what being pain free feels like.

My wish would be that all the sick children in the world would get better and never be ill again.  And I don’t mean the sniffles or the flu; I mean the kids with things like cancer and aids and kidney failure.  I feel blessed every day that my kids are healthy and would love for every parent in the world to know that same peace of mind.

I am also married to one of those men who leave everything where it’s convenient for him, so that would be wish #2.

I love the calorie free food and clean house.

However I would also like to control time to stop it so I can get a breath and enjoy the moment. I don’t know about anyone else but I always want to enjoy the moment or I tell myself I should, but never have time or make the time to do just that. So if I could I would like to have tha ability to freeze time to catch my breath or enjoy the moment.

The instant transport thing is very tempting and I have wished for that when I have been travelling. However, I think I would go with “health and happiness” that I could spell onto a person in need of it. In a sense, that is what I try to do every day as a pediatrician, but it would be nice to have it work quickly and reliably and not have to depend on tired moms remembering meds.

A spell that would give me a

do over!

  This would be enormously handy for all those little screwups, or poor choices…just go back 10-15 minutes with the knowledge of the earlier result intact and get a chance to make the other choice!

With a blink of an eye I’d be perfectly well rested, alert and ready to go. No sleep necessary!

I would love to wave my hand at my boss and instantly have his corporate-speak be distilled down to actual, meaningful English. Since what he says usually has no point or meaning, it would be oh-so-quiet in my office and I might get some actual work done.

I agree with Valerie that a ControlZ spell would be fantastic, but! 

I want a spell that *understands* electronics and mechanics and fixes them.  Figures out my cable/router/modem deal.  Restores my computer from the blue screen of death.  Deals with the chugga sound my car makes.  Redoes the wiring in my apartment so I can toast frozen waffles AND blow dry my hair without blowing a fuse.  You know.  Simple stuff that either costs a ton or just never gets fixed.

Well, you stole it with the dishes.  I despise dishes…love cooking.  You see the problem?  But, if I could extend that to a general clean up of the entire house. Oh yes.
Well, since that isn’t going to happen…I wonder what a maid would run me? :D
Natasha

Insto-groceries. Snap my fingers and the groceries in my cart are magically whisked away to my house and put in their proper place in my kitchen.

Worst thing ever is the fact I have to move all those bags…TWICE. Once into the back of my van, and twice from my van to the kitchen. Then, the inhumanity of unpacking all the food I bought and stowing it away. UGH.

Not sure if I can compete with the person who wanted to cure sick children. I mean, how do you trump that?????

Mine would be a spell to relieve worrying.  You can’t avoid stresses- they come with life.  But we all tell ourselves not to stress, and yet we do it anyway!  So I would love a spell to use to help you let it all go when it’s not in your control anyway.  Can you imagine not worrying all the time?  Live in the moment- what a great spell that would be!

Waving my hands and having my daughter’s mess that insists on crawling out of her room, gone. And leaving her unable to leave or create another mess. Then the rest of the house would get taken care of without so much frustration on my part.

Oh, a the litter box and puppy pads just cleaning themselves.

Mine would be the ability to snap my fingers and time would rewind. So if I’ve put my foot in my mouth, I can step back and call a do-over.

Oh If only I could wave my hands and cast a spell that would instantly have my kids ready for school.  They would be showered, dressed, fed, lunches made, papers signed and off to have a great day of school.  This would be even better if I could learn to this spell in my sleep.  lol

Oh- a dinner’s on the table spell.

I wave my hand over the table and it’s perfectly set with beautiful, yummy food (that my oh so picky children would eat too).  I’d even be willing to do the dishes if all I had to do was sit down to a good meal.

I would love a ‘time stands still’ spell.

I could sit down at the computer at 10 am and write until I meet my word count for the day. When I finish it would still be 10 am and I’ll have the whole day to do as I please.

Still reading that awesome book at 10 pm? Stop time and read til the end, and then you will still get 8 hours sleep in afterwards.

The things I could get done. Could even clean the house once in a while…

I wouldn’t mind a common sense spell woven around the world… but I’m afraid it would make life a lot less interesting I don’t know if that’s a good thing.

Sarah your wish (one of) is granted… buy a bunch of these and set up a camera to watch the cat trying to fly http://www.organize.com/petnet.html

Having a child with Crohn’s disease, I would like a bathroom where you want it spell.  As horrible as it sounds, having been diagnosed with Crohn’s since he was seven, the disease is part of his life and I think it has helped shape him to be the fine young man that he is today. I wouldn’t wish those empathetic, caring parts of his personality away for anything.
BUT that being said, it would be great to make hunting for a potty
obsolete.

I’d have a spell where I’d make a copy of whatever it was I was holding in my hands- so there would be two of them.  It’d only work once a day (so I wouldn’t get greedy), but that way when I find a sweater of my friend’s that I really want but she doesn’t want to part with, I could have it.  And perhaps if I was really powerful, it’d also allow me to “adjust” things, so if there was an umbrella I liked but it was black and I wanted it in bright pink, when I copied it the object would be bright pink.

I would have the power to be able to enter any book in my hands, and live in the world of the book for a time.  The spell would make the experience more like a really vivid dream (or Narnia) in that time in this world would pass much slower than time in the book.

I just watched the weather, and living in FL, I want a spell that keeps the hurricanes safely out at sea where they belong. It seems like Gustav is going to miss us, only to have TS 8 bearing down on us in his wake. I suppose that at least we get days of notice is somewhat of a blessing, but I’d sure take that worry away if I could.

Perfect recall. I suck at remembering names, faces, conversations, etc. It’s so embarrassing sometimes. I’d love to just do a spell and be able to freakin’ remember stuff!

my wish would be that i can wave my hands and my dogs would be fully potty trained to use the toilet.  it’s the worst in the winter time…. brrrrr….. go… go potty… goooooo…. go pottyyyyyy…. and all the dogs want to do is play in the snow…. grrr… winter.

I’d like a spell where I instantly thoroughly understand things I need to learn (i.e., SQL, CSS, and how my cell phone can go from the top of my purse to the far bottom corner beneath the bills, lipstick, and pens in .002 seconds).

hah. Submit word learned63. Yes, I’d like a spell where I could learn 63 things in a nanosecond.

instant drunk remover - complete with destruction of side effects. My husband & our group of friends often enjoy having a few drinks together or going out and seeing a band in a bar or night club. The downside is the sweat-alcohol smell, the bourbon breathe and that aching head in the morning. Not to mention the occasional sleepless night as he snores with abandon next to me. I’d love to wave my hand and have instant loss of alcohol side effects…just the remnants of a pleasant buzz afterwards

I’m going to have to go with something completely cheesy… but fortunately, it’s very true.  I am currently loving and living with with a guy that is wonderfully perfect for me.  We’ve been dating for 2 1/2 years with 1 1/4 of that time living together… and still are gaggingly (to others point of view, that is) smitten with each other.  So, my spell would be a good health spell on both of us, that would keep both of us safe and healthy until we both died, at the same time, some point far out into the future.

while initially torn between the insta-house cleaning or insta-hairstyle, I gotta go with the Super Acne Disappearing mojo. As an adult acne sufferer, it totally blows to have acne. I wish to make it all go away!!!

name67: I don’t think I’m the 67th person to post…am I?

The only spell I’d I want that someone hasn’t already said (clean my house! instant dinner!) is “a mute button.” 

I am the mother of two not-yet-civilized young children (all the parents out there know it’s a long term project) and they can get pretty rowdy.  I live in “the city that never sleeps,” though I do, and though I am a native and therefore have a pretty high tolerance for ambient noise, they are doing demolition, which I can only assume will be followed by construction, in TWO locations near my house from 8-4:30 six days a week.  All this would be tolerable, more or less, without the advent of the cell phone, with all those ringtones at top volume and people yakkity yak yakking 24/7 regardless of others around them.  This is a crowded city, we cannot always tune out our neighbors as we’d like.  After I (and everyone else within 10 feet) overheard the woman sitting next to me on the jam packed crosstown bus weepily inform her BFF via of her cervical cancer diagnosis, I have been wishing fervently for a mute button.  Or a cure for cancer.  Or both.

i’m a college student. i want a spell that either a) does my homework for me while somehow instilling the knowledge of it in my brain or b) can influence professors to give only minimal amounts of it, no papers over 3 pages, no group projects, etc.

that, or the ability to pop in a new, good book anytime i need one, free of charge and in a nice tasteful cover. sounds like the kindle, except for the free part…

cleaning would work too. i love organization, just not organizING.

sorry. that’s three. *shuts up now*

a communication-clarification spell.  i HATE it when people talk/email at each other at cross purposes.  did you not just hear/read what i said?  do you not listen?  is this not your native tongue?  one wave of the hand, and each person would understand (maybe not AGREE) with the other’s point.

talk 39: and hopefully this wouldn’t take 39 minutes each time.

Having spent the summer traveling, including an incredibly uncomfortable direct flight between Cairo, Egypt and NY with two small children in tow, my wish has to be for a spell to instantly transport me to any place I want to go, instantly. No waiting, no traffic, no customs or passport control, just instant gratification…

I would want a dinner party spell, where with a wiggle of my pinky a full spread of appetizers, entrees, sides, and dessert would hover (kept warm) waiting for the people to finish their current course. That way I could have a party a week, inviting whoever happened to be near me at the time—say like people on the street, the guy who mows the yard, the post man, the guys fixing the pot hole in the street. I’d like to be able to show my appreciation to my friends and the others in my life through food, something that connects people here in New Orleans.

Oh all the choices here are spectacular.

I’d like a reality spell. So I can give myself a healthy dose of reality whenever I need it. Feeling like the world is out to get me? Reality time. Feeling like I’m the only one in my office who does anything? Reality needed.

I’d also like a 7 year old speak spell. I adore my daughter but obviously articulation of her thoughts and feelings needs some witchcraft.

I would like to have a spell that lets me know what others are thinking at a particular time.  I also want to be able to turn it off and individualize it.

I’m torn between two spells already mentioned: the first (my original thought) is the 8-hours-of-sleep-in-the-blink-of-an-eye spell, clearing the way for all sorts of creative, organizational, and, hrm, interpersonal endeavors; the second, a brilliant suggestion, is the instant total recall spell, since I am utter crap with names, faces, and personal details for at least the first year that I know someone.

Gaaa, why is there no literal magic in the world??

OK, this is where I get practical.  I want to twiddle my pinkies and heal everything that goes wrong in my body, including age.  Yup, I want time.  Give me time and good health and I can solve the rest of the crap. 

My second choice would be to send bicycles chasing after the messengers.  You know, the dudes who always try to ride us down in the streets?  I would LOVE to see them running away from their psycho bikes.

Bess

Banish cancer from the world so selfishly i can have mother back.

No one has turned their magical hands specifically at laundry yet, so that’s what I’m going with.  I hate laundry.  I despise laundry.  Laundry is neverending, a black hole for socks and underwear, a mangler of sweaters and laundry fades my brights.

I would love to be able to have clothes automatically cleaned, pressed and hung as soon as they come off with no signs of wear, fading or stretching.

P.S. CT and Kathy, we should set up a playdate for our husbands.  I have a feeling the three of them would get along.

Well, my first two ideas got taken pretty quickly:  the insta-transport spell and the insta-clean-house spell.  But I did manage to come up with another one:

The Cell Phone/Bluetooth Killer spell.  I would love to be able to wave a hand at some inconsiderate moron on his/her cell phone and have it go dead for 15 minutes or so.  Same for the people that yak endlessly on their bluetooth headsets in public.  It would give everyone else a break from obnoxiously loud ringtones and inappropriate conversations.  No harm to the person—just the phone.

Can you tell I work in a library and that I’m sick and tired of some of our patrons?  ;)

I’d go for a teleportation/instant readiness spell. I work 10+ hours a day, and have a 45-minute one-way commute on top of that. If I could wave my hand in the air in the morning after I’ve dragged myself out of bed and poured some coffee down my throat, and suddenly be magically transported to work (and appropriately showered dressed and coiffed) with no effort on my end, it would be so awesome. For one thing, it would be great for the environment, with all the saved gas. For another, I’d get more than 4 hours of sleep a night. Finally, my fiance complains about how I work too much and we never see each other; if I could magically transport myself home on time, already attired to go out to dinner, it would really revitalize my relationship.

I think the only spell I would like to be able to sprinkle about would be good health. I don’t suffer from anything but several friends and family members do. I think it would be quite satisfying to rid them of the need for medications and releive pain.

Debt repayment spell.  With a wave of my hand, all my students debt would be paid off.  This could come in handy with credit card bills, too.  Of course, they money would have to come from some magical, always full bank account and not from my own measly librarian paycheck ;)

I’d like a spell that would instantly make every vehicle on the road get 60+ MPG and be emission-free.  Oh, and second the good health spell - not having to worry about my signifigant other’s cardiac issues would be wonderful.

I would love to teleport anywhere I want to. That way I wont have to deal with public transportation.

No one is being greedy, so I will.  I want a spell that gives me unlimited spells.  Then I can have the clean house, well behaved and trained dogs, new car, great job (see, I still want to work - sort of), and money in the bank to avoid the worries.  Oh, while I am dreaming, I will also be much thinner, taller, and a few years younger.  My sister will envy me instead of the other way around.

Cure asthma. My kid’s having an attack? I could snap my fingers and it’s gone. It’d work on opk’s, too.

An extra two hours of non-aging time—so if I’m at work and I need to finish something, I can just finish it, and I’ll still be there to pick up the kids on time, or if it’s nine-o-clock and I haven’t worked out, I can go work out and when I get home it’s still nine-o-clock, or if the kids are napping, and I’m on a roll writing, I can finish my roll, and it will still be time for the kids to wake up without being cranky asses all day.  If I had that spell, I might have time to clean my own house, work out, or just write as much as I really want to!

A spell that would take all the wonderful ideas in my head for my current WIP and voila!  They’re all written down in a way that makes sense!  I’m still willing to edit, but man, a first draft spell would be delightful!

It would be to heal. I fall so darn much into things over things…. I could really use a self healing spell! between me and my son i think we keep bandaid in buisness

I would like a house remodel/repair spell. I hate dealing with contractors, repair people, etc. I need a new bathroom, kitchen, flooring,  the outside deck needs repairs, the outside faucet needs fixed, and on and on. I don’t have the energy/time for making the phone calls, arranging appointments, waiting for them NOT to show up and then doing it all again!

Since world peace has been taken…

I’d like a smoothing spell.  It could go like this:

Twist me, knot me, crinkle me, nay.
When I wrinkle my nose this way
Every knot and twist in my day
Is oh so smoothly wiped away.

This would take care of age and bed-head related morning maintenance routines; laundry issues; interpersonal communications; traffic snarls; and possibly that world peace thing too.

You’d have to wear slip-on shoes all the time and you’d need a counteracting spell when you wanted kinky sex.  But other than that I think it’d be useful.

My spell would be that whenever I’m feeling a complete lack of motivation to do something, I could wave my hands and be overcome with fire and enthusiasm to see the project through with enjoyment and good humor.  This would have a multitude of applications in my everyday life, from getting up in the morning, to dealing with house chores, to sitting down for ten minutes here and twenty minutes there to get some writing done.  The only danger I see is that I might quickly become addicted…

Alyc

password: child16—apparently I’m not a girl, but not yet a woman.

I would cast a spell on all the really good cold and allergy medicines in the world - you know, the ones that are kept behind the counter now and for which one must beg and plead and only buy so much per month and only with ID and signature - so that they can no longer be used for nefarious purposes and thereby make them available for the good, true, and cold-ridden people of the earth to purchase to their hearts’ and noses’ content. 

(faith72 - I have faith that someday I’ll be able to buy 72 tabs of something that will actually let me breathe again.)

It’s a difficult choice.

Instant transport spell would be bliss and would allow people to occasionally take trips for pleasure, easing the stress on the roads.  Though I would probably have to combine it with an extra time spell, cause I use my commute to get a lot of reading done, so maybe not.

A spell to get domestic chores and to enable me to find stuff from where it is when it is cleaned away. 

A spell to create storage spaces so that I could have space to put some of my clutter, particularly the TBR pile.  It would make organising my life much easier.  An easy method of access would be useful.

A healing spell so that I could repair my dodgy health, which causes me no end of stress, particularly when it comes to my oncology review, I know it’s healed but it keeps the stress going.  Repairing my wrists from RSI, my lungs from chemo, my feet from flat so I could wear nice shoes, the damage done to my legs by it taking so long for them to diagnose that.  To fix the probable coeliac disease so that I don’t have to read every package before buying food of any sort.  Also so that I could help my husband get over the damaged knee and his psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis.  I’d say it would take a while to get through the two of us before spreading the healing.  I think this is would be the best of the lot but the rest would be useful.

I would like the ability to change flavors. Make carrots taste like Cheetos. My daughter’s allergy medicine taste like chocolate milk.  Brussel sprouts like gummi bears…

It would make our sex life a little bit more lively too ;)

I echo the healing spell—both for others and for myself.  I work in a hospital—enuf said there.  I also have a pinched nerve in my back and am writing this sitting with a heating pad so getting rid of my own pain would be nice—no aching knees, no aching back, etc.  A reverse aging spell would also be nice—ah to go back to my underappreciated 21 year old body where there were no aches or pains, lots more energy, slimmer, but still ME—not perfect or the best bod around but one that I really didn’t appreciate at the time.

I want a spell to empty out a public restroom so I don’t have to wait in line. And I can make it private if I need to. A small thing, but it would help life.

Oh, this one was easy and popped straight into my head.

To wave my wand at groups of individuals and have them instantly understand, respect, and tolerate their opponents religion and culture.

Hence the old, “Hey, dude. Your style is not my cuppa, but I’m not going to blow you off the planet because of it.”

The spells to clean house and make all bad-for-you-but-too-good-to-give-up food calorie free and non-artery clogging are very tempting, but I’m personally torn between wanting a spell that lets me morph at will a la Mystique or a spell that would let me snap my fingers and instantly have expert knowledge and ability in whatever subject or activity I want.

Maybe spell that magically makes a nanny/sitter appear whenever you need to go out sans munchkins? Hmmm.

[I was going to say the clean house or the no sleep needed one, but now I have to get a little more creative…]

One blink and my bookshelf replenishes itself with the books I want to read.

To wave my wand and have instant clothes.  I can change clothes anytime I want with a wave of my wand.

If I were feeling altruistic, I’d say something along the lines of, “I want a spell where I can wiggle my nose and every unhappy person I meet is instantly happy.” HOWEVER…I am in the process of housebreaking a Newfoundland puppy.  He’s 7 months old, weighs 50 pounds and is over two feet tall at the shoulder. He gets a drink, he pees. He eats a doggie treat, he poops.  I want to wiggle my nose and all messes are instantly gone and Boone trained perfectly. Pls kthnxbai

I’m diving into the shallow end.  I want the patented Eve Dallas instant orgasm spell.  One touch and that woman’s over the freaking moon!  Give me some of that! 

Or maybe I should be asking for the “turn my husband into Roarke” spell, which will yield said instant orgasms.  Hmm.  Decisions, decisions…

So many good ones already taken.  I’ll have to go with a spell to make people love me.  But only for a limited time, I can always renew the spell if I want, or just send them on their way without those exhausting breakups.

This is easy.  Me and my step-son were talking about this the other day.  First, though, his was: not dying until he chose to.  Which is pretty deep for a 10 yr old.

Mine: Teleporting.
My minor one: Never having to shower/bathe to be clean.

There have been SO many great ideas for spells.  I love the time stand still and the perfect recall!!! I can’t remember squat.  It’s truly hard to come up with something that hasn’t been said. 

So here I go….I’d like to wave my hands and everything in my life be organized.  I’m talking from the mounds of paperwork on my desk here at work to the clutter and laundry in my house to my unkept checkbook.  I am SO unorganized it’s amazing that I can function.  My husband is completely opposite from me.  I say I’m the chaos to his organization….gotta have balance, right? *sigh*  :)

Mine? Mine would be a temporary supernatural persuasivenes. Just long enough to convince the college that, for example, they should change a couple of dumb policies, or that bank robbers really should give themselves up, or a place that pays 13 dollars an hour that they really should hire me.

Near the town where I grew up was a small lake. It was large enough to have two distinct beaches but small enough that swimming across it was a relatively minor undertaking—almost everyone did it eventually. It was really only an hour or so of swimming.

The thing was, the lake was spring fed, so you’d make a ton of progress initially, and then get hung up in the springs for a variable amount of time until you broke past those currents, and then make a ton of progress again at the end.

I used to have very vivid dreams about the lake being a magic weight loss lake. (I was a fat teenager, what can I say?) The fatter you were, the longer you got caught up in the middle, since the magic took a little time to work, but eventually, everyone would be the same perfect size 6 when they reached the other side. (Thank you, Sweet Valley High for letting me know what size was ‘perfect’.)

Of course, if I’d swam that lake a little more often (say, once a day) and maybe eaten a little less crappy junk food, I might have found it did ‘magically’ cause weight loss. Just a little less quickly than in my dreams.

I’ve kind of gotten over that awkward teenage phase, but as a still fat adult, I’d still like to have a magic fat burning lake as my particular spell. Not to keep the kids from teasing me, but to keep my knees from aching when I stand all night at concerts.

My spell:  an insulated bubbled around my house to keep out all the noise I have in my neighborhood and it would also zap people who cross onto our property line (my property is not the public park people!).

Hmm..well, I’d first snatch up the insta-clean spell that included laundry, but after that I’d want a spell that would automatically merge cars when the lane is ending. (One of my biggest pet peeves is the idiots who wait until the last minute to merge, then slows down the rest of us when said idiot slams on the brakes and darts in.)

Asante sana!
Squashed banana…
Wewe nugu
mimi apana!

Yeah….I’d turn people into baboons.

Is this spell only for personal area or can I have a global spell?  If so, any male (or female for that matter) attempting to have non-consensual sexual relations with anyone, including people under the age of 16(?) instantly gets turned into whatever they are attempting to abuse.

I have to go with a transport spell. I love to travel and my husband won’t fly. If I could get us from here (Georgia) to anywhere in the blink of an eye, twitch of a nose or even astride a broomstick, life with this otherwise wonderful man would be practically perfect!

Okay well mine is selfish, I want perfect skin, no flaws whatsoever!

I want a truth spell like Wonderwoman’s golden lasso.  I wanna know when people are lying to me.  It needs to work long-distance so I can tell when politicians and others in the media are blowing smoke.  “So, Chinese Gymnastics Coach, how old is that girl anyway?”  “I am forced to tell you she is actually 13.” And it especially needs to work on my kids!

I’d like spell/power that allows me to share what I’m feeling - for medical staff. So when I visit my doctor and he says “You might feel some slight cramping” I can let him feel exactly how much of an understatement that is. Or so when I go in and tell them how painful some thing is I can show them instead of them saying “Oh, I’ve never heard of that being painful, it can’t be that bad.” I would also like to be able to use this power for other folks, not just myself - as in being some sort of conduit for them to their docs.

My spell would transform me into my 25 yr old body but with my 46 yr old experience/wisdom….

A spell that made every library book I wanted at the library magically be there, and not checked out.

There’s only one “spell” I chant on an occasional basis, once uttered by a wizard on a cartoon show long ago.  After an adventure went wrong, the call for the wizardly owl would go out, and he would indeed come, lecture the poor wayward turtle character about overreaching his ability or some such, and would send the poor turtle character back home with with this chant, said in a very Central European (German?) accent:

“Dreezel, Drazzle, Drozzle, Drone. Time for this one to go home”

And then the screen would spin and the turtle would be back in the safe confines of his house, regretting whatever he did, and yada yada yada.  But of course we all knew that in the next episode, the turtle would again go out and party too hard and take too many drugs and do the same thing… Well, whatever. 

This is the spell I want to have actually work.  A spell to allow you to get home no matter how bad you screwed up.  Like George Bush and Iraq.

Teleportation, hands down.

Not only could I travel the world and still sleep in my own bed, I would open an instant delivery service that would beat FedEx and UPS, thus earning a living. Sure, I could teleport into a bank vault, but that would be stealing, and I don’t do that.

BTW, I loved the novel by Stephen Gould, Jumper. Missed the movie, tho. Meh.

Instant Cabana Boy Crew.
At a snap of my fingers, a whole crew of cabana boys (why stop with one when you can have a flock/swarm/harem) would instantly appear, willing to fulfil my every desire.  These cabana boys would be willing to do any dirty, nasty thing I wish. 

You know what I mean - drive car pool.  Drop off the dry cleaning.  Pick up the limbs TS Fay blew down that still litter my yard.  Take out the trash.  Take the stack of packages to the post office.  Remember to do daily back ups of the mission critical files on the pc.

What did you think I meant?  ;)

Ohhhh, god, the instant clean-up spell would be magnificent.  (Or the instant re-energizer one, think of all the extra time for reading!)  But what would be really awesome would be to twitch my nose and have one more chapter in a book.  Sometimes I’m just not quite ready to give up the story when it’s over.

I always misplace my keys and my mobile phone so I would like a spell that finds them instantly for me.

But the a wish a day spell would be great, to clean up the apartment one day, and do the dishes the second (I love cooking, hate the dishes) That was one mighty idea eaeaea.

Grrr, all the ones i thought of are taken.     
House cleaning, transportation and extra space would be my faves. Especially extra library space. A spell where you could be transported to another dimension where time almost stands still compared to us, so you could go to your library and sit and read in peace to your heart’s content, then come back out and you haven’t missed anything.

Oh…how about one that would finish all those half-completed home improvement projects my darling dear devoted hubbie (love the guy to death but…) has proliferated in the house and the backyard.

My body is the perfect shape, muscle tone, blood pressure and all around healthy! No bad genes to speak of, no cancer cells waiting to sneek in and wreak havoc on life.
Humm…I think I might like to give that to everyone. That way the world can worry about important stuff…like finding love, peace and happiness!

Hmm, I want a spell that’ll give me energy to get things done: something I could mumble every morning that has the same caffeine equivalent of 4 cups of coffee without the jitters and stomachache, so I can stay up til 3 am studying and/or reading and still go to work the next day without seeming dead or drunk… :D

I would like a spell that could find anything lost.  From a missing child to misplaced homework.  Yep,  a “find it for me” spell is what I would create.

As I stand in the space between the worlds, I stand in front of the altar I have created for the directions and the goddess and the god.

I ask for courage and luck, then I raise a cone of power with my intention on instilling the spell into a special wand.

The next morning, I bring my wand to work and wave it blithely at my computer…when I log in, I find that yes the spell works.  My documentation is all done for the month.

A spell that would instantly and accurately replay any prior conversation, no matter how long ago or how recent. That way, when one party claims not to have said “I’ll take the kids to practice,” or another swears “I told you I was going to buy a 52-inch television this afternoon,” there is proof, one way or the other, of what was actually said or not said at all. This spell would be handy for avoiding those circle-jerk conversations that devolve into “no, I didn’t, yes, you did” territory.

Silver James, love those Newfie puppies! We had them for years and yeah, every drink of water, every bite of food, and it’s beat feet outside. We kept a stack of towels all over the house because the slobber would strike without warning. Bibs are a good idea, too, when traveling, although finding one big enough is the problem. Lucky you! :)

My spell would instantly reveal to me an understanding of anything I did not understand, whether it be a different language, the meaning of a word or phrase, or the answer to a riddle.

I’m all for the instant teleporting. My mother and I used to watch Charmed together and we both agreed we wanted to be able to orb.
Image popping over to Paris or London for Lunch with a simple thought and no passport needed.
How about a quick weekend in Hawaii with no horrible jetlag.

The first thing that came to mind was a traveling spell and I see that lots of people thought the same thing. In my case it would not be for the commute since my commute is very short but the spell would allow me to travel close to all those people I care so much about.

My only daughter is in Rochester, NY where she is finishing her degree at RIT, my sister lives in New Hampshire, my brother lives in North Carolina and my parents live in Puerto Rico. Years might pass before we can visit (well my daughter comes every 4 months-THANK GOD!!) and I miss them terribly.

I would like have a spell that will take me anywhere I want instantanteously so that if I have had a rough week I can be close to some lovin immediately!

would love to have a spell so that I could craft failsafe spells on an as needed basis.  LOL i know I am greedy. But failing that would love to have either the traveling/transportation spell or the good health spell I figure that one would include weight control lol so I would get a twofer.

A do over spell, where if I screw something up royally I can do it over without consequence

Would love to have a spell that got me expertly dressed every morning, with my hair instantly cute, and make up perfect.

I would love to have a spell that could transport me where I needed to go without having to commute.  Just snap my fingers or say a little spell and poof, I’m at work, or the store or someplace actually fun.  Either that or one that if I did have to commute, I was in an invisible bubble so that I would still feel clean after riding on public transportation.

I’d cast a spell so that I’d always have excellent luck, every hour, every day

Fail-proof spell… Mmm, I would love to have a spell that once I opened my eyes in the morning, I have a major boost in confidence in whatever I do or the challenges before me.

Another spell I would love is to keep myself from over-worrying, over-stressing the littlest of things.

I would love to have a spell to make all of my animals behave beautifully, never fight with one another or any animal outside of the home, and be perfect little angels (with 5 dogs and 3 cats in residence this is a big thing).

The spell that I need, however, is one that allows me to melt fatigue and exhaustion away, so I can utilize my day more fully!

Truthfully… I would like a poof to happen so that I can create websites and write to earn my pay. 

haven’t sold my book… though the websites are making a little money…

I want a spell for weed-b-gone in my yard and garden.  Oy, my back.

What a loaded question and pondering the answer I came up with several answers!  lol
I would have several combined:
Bibbity Bobbity Boo (poof) snap me fingers and have a clean house, spending money to go shopping as the house is already clean and make love with my hubby (as he acts out being a Highland warrior, vampire and Panther shifter)!
Nope thats not to much to ask for !!  lol

This is a hard one because I would like to have two spells. 
One is to clean up the house instantly with everything spotless, the other one would be to make myself always look young and beautiful

I want a crystal ball.  Maybe if I knew what was coming, I could fix things in advance.

I would have to choose a protection spell. One I could cast on anyone I care about.  :)

I’m unable to drive and would love just be able to transport instantly to where I want.

Or a put on shoe spell. I have C.P. Putting on my shoes is one of the most painful annoying parts of my day.

Ha, I’d love to have an orgasm spell. I’d use it to bind the world to my will. Oh hai, you’re a good parent? Bzzt, toe curling pleasure! Oh hai, you cured cancer? Bzzt, there you go! Oh hai, you washed my dishes for me? Bzzt, this is my thank you! Oh hai, humans rights violations? Nope, no bzzt for you! Sorry!

I figure I could build up an army and rule the world in no time simply by pointing my finger.

I’m a pack rat and schlep far too much stuff with me as I leave the house.  I’d love a spell that would allow all the crap I accumulate during the day that I don’t need to just disappear. That way at the end of the day my purse would only hold the necessities and my car would be clean. : ) Ahhh… bliss.

I also briefly entertained a road rage zapper, but figure that I would abuse that privilege.

I’d love a spell that would instantly turn screaming, tantruming and/or out-of-control children into pleasant, quiet, well-behaved children for at least half the day.  Preferrably ALL day!

Ack! It killed my post! I’ll try again…

Mine would be an orgasm spell—not just for me, either. A small wave of the hand would give whoever I wanted a small orgasm. Large wave of the hand, large orgasm. That way, if I’m tired and just want to sleep, my husband’s taken care of no complaints! Or if I’m in a really bad mood and just want a laugh, I can pick a total stranger walking down the street to attack with my orgasmic powers.

I blame Tre Parker and Matt Stone for making Orgasmo. Every since watching that movie, I’ve wanted the power!!

1.  I would have an everything done spell- wave of the hand ; kids are up and ready for school( clothes,hair, breakfast), house cleaned, clothes washed, groceries stay filled ( when I use all of something I close the fridge and a new pack appears in its spot),/ coupled with the teleportation spell ( I love to visit my mom but hate the 4 hour drive there and back with just me and the kids)
2. Spell 2 I would have a spell that would “write” my book for me. I would think of how I wanted it to b and it would magically appear on my computer typed and ready to go ( grammar, word count, spacing, etc)

“I wish I wish with all my might,
that true meanings of spoken words,
Would appear in sight”

Subtitling all conversations would be hilarious.  Just think of the difference during:
dates
parent teacher conferences
job interviews
consults with lawyers…...
endless entertainment!

I’d like to be able to fill people with a sense of calm that stays with them throughout the day.

Some people already have this ability, but I think it’s magic.

Purely selfishly, a patience spell.

Impatience is one of my truly unattractive qualities (and believe me, I’ve got more than a few). But a spell that would grant me patience in my everyday relationships and exchanges would benefit EVERYONE around me. So maybe it’s a little less selfish than I originally thought, eh?

T’would be teh awesome.

I want to snap my fingers and smooth out my entire appearance.  I’m not concerned about changing my weight or features or anything else - I just want to look put together.  Then I can cast my spell and make my slacks look the way the did after I steamed this morning.  The drip from lunch is cleaned up, and my hair doesn’t look like I stuck a finger in a socket.  Some afternoons I check before going into a meeting and wonder why I even own a clothes steamer…

The ability to just wave a hand and always look fantastic. Great hair, great clothes, great makeup, etc. Then I would be able to sleep in and just wake up, wave a hand, and be ready for my day.

I’d like a spell that would let me snap my fingers and add another hour to the day.  Any time, day or night - snap! - more time.  I would probably use it more at night, when I just want to get through one more chapter before bed (ad infinitum) or in the morning when the alarm goes off -  Beep, snap, snooze, repeat. 

And since we’re fantasizing, if I snap with my other hand, I should be able to have a reality rewind.  Just five minutes back in time, for all of those quick decisions you instantly regret.  Also helpful for making full use of the esprit d’escalier.

Man, all the good ones are taken already…

One that I haven’t seen, that I totally wouldn’t mind at all, is a spell that would allow perfect communication.  Sometimes I’m pretty much nonverbal (because of pain/exhaustion/whatever) and would love to have, not telepathy, but an ability to find the words I need; sometimes I say one thing and the other person hears something completely different; this would take care of both those things, as it would allow me to say what needs to be said and allow the other person to hear what I mean.

...and if it extends to “putting the story I’m writing on paper exactly as it is in my head”, so much the better. 

Of ones that have already been mentioned:

Instant transport.  Failing that, the ability to send messages to other drivers (“your rear tail light is broken” / “stop fucking tailgating me, you moron, I’m already doing 5 over the limit” / “put the cell phone down and concentrate on driving”) would be awesome.  As long as they couldn’t send messages back… *cough*

Mary-Poppins-y housecleaning spell.  One that puts everything where it belongs without me having to do the work.

A summonable flock of cabana boys to do my every whim (cook/serve food, massage, whatever) but disappear when I don’t want them around.

Perfect health.  (Though I’d probably need to define ‘perfect’ more carefully, so as to include genetic disorders.) Or, failing that, a) the pain-free spell that one person mentioned (love; antispam word is “just99”, as in “just 99 more fucking pills to take, most of them pain-related”) and b) a spell that makes one not have to go to the bathroom (without nasty side effects like ‘being dead’ or ‘not being able to eat/drink’), because my life would be a bazillion times easier if I didn’t have to deal with bathrooms.  Especially if c) I also had the cabana-boys spell.

Really, what I want is an Spell-Spell, that can do whatever I need it to do at the moment I cast it.

(I almost called it Ur-Spell, except a) ur- means more ‘original’ than ‘all-encompassing’, and b) a perverse wish-granter would give me an “ur-spell” that corrects the spelling and grammar of people on the internets.  or c) a really perverse wish-granter would make an ur-spell that turns everything I write into lolcat…)

I liked the thought of the instant transportation spell.  Then I also like the clean house, the repair things and the healing people spells among many others.  What can I do when I want them all?

A magic “never over the limit, no payments ever required” credit card.  Then I thought there should be some limitation or I’d get greedy ... so, how about only can be used once a day.  First day pay mortgage, 2nd pay auto, third pay housekeeper (clean house), 4th donate to medical research charity .. so on and so on.  The instant transportation wouldn’t be as big of a deal, as their would be no need to commute the hour (one way) to my job every day, because I wouldn’t need the job.  I would have money to donate, to pay bills, travel, buy BOOKS, repair items etc.

That’s it then, the Magic Credit Card.

Okay, it’s cheesy and sappy, but I’d like to wave my hand and make the person in front of me happy (not necessarily give them what they want, just make them in a better mood).  ‘Cause I work with the public and, y’know, they’s crazy!

I would wiggle my nose and have the house clean itself, dinner cook itself and the bathroom to clean itself.

Oohh.  I do like the idea of being able to have a different wish for a different day.  That would be so nice.

I would want a spell that would enable me to automatically find whatever I was looking for/needed.  (I spend so much time hunting for my shoes/purse/stockings without a run in them/that thingie that I need…with the stuff…/etc.)  There’s a year or two of my life that I’d like to have back…

I’d have a spell that would stop my oldest two sons from arguing over everything—I could just snap my fingers and they would forget whatever it was the other one had done to annoy them.

I’d either wish for the ability to make any amount of sleep feel like a full night’s worth, or the ability to make any cheap product taste/feel/look as good as an expensive one.

To be able to freeze/unfreeze time as I wished.

Deadline looming: *freeze time* *get work together* *unfreeze time*
Need an hour of me-time: *freeze time* *drinks pretty drink* *unfreeze time*

Sure, it doesn’t make less work for me, but I’d be able to get work done.

I’m actually not drawn to the clean house spell. I don’t really mind doing the dishes as long as I have enough time in the day to do other things. So maybe a time-stands-still-outside-my-apartment spell, or a 20-minute-nap-equals-9-hours-of-blissful-sleep spell. That way I could have enough hours in the day for work, crafts, baking, making love with my partner, exercise, etc. etc. without feeling tired or rushed or cranky. That would be amazing.

I am prone to anxiety, though, so an anti-anxiety spell would eliminate the need for meds. But I do HAVE meds, so maybe it would be a wasted spell. :)

Also, I’d want a safety-while-traveling spell for all my friends and family. Since I little, I’ve been irrationally nervous about my loved ones when they travel. I would love feeling 100% sure that they will go from point A to point B with no risk of harm.

Okay, after thinking it over again -

I’d like a spell that makes it so I don’t have my period every month. I still want everything to function right, and leave all my pieces intact, but you know - just get rid of the hassle.

I’d want a teleportation spell - just a snap of my fingers takes me from here to there (with the obvious built in precautions of not teleporting me into the same space as any other things so I don’t end up half inside a wall or random pedestrian, and some sort of noticeability dampener so people don’t start freaking out when a girl just pops into the middle of a room from nowhere).

Teleporting has the practical benefits of not having to get a car nor finish learning how to drive (oh, how I utterly hate driving), but the reason I most want it is as a cure for my long distance relationship - my sweetie just started grad school a state and a half away, and most of the places I’m applying to will take me father away from him, so a way to instantly be able to go see him would be very nice.

I want a spell that allows me to be ultra-persuasive. Just enough to let me convince people that they should do what I want, say for instance hire me lol.

I want to spell so that I could eat anything I want and not gain a pound!

I’ve always thought a spell to find lost things would be especially useful - particularly since I lose the same things over and over!!  (Though in my defense, I’ve yet to leave anything in the fridge…)

I’d want a healing spell, so I could heal myself and others.  I keep thinking of the problems that would occur with spells, though, like with the healing spell you’d be mobbed with sick people if anyone found out and you’d never have time for anything but healing.

Truthfully, I’d love to have the ability to contact those who’ve passed away—whether one believes in that sort of thing or not (and I’m not saying I necessarily do, just that I really, really hope there’s more, just like one hopes for a good sequel to follow up a solid novel ^_~)—it’d be wonderful to have confirmation that a loved one is ok, and to be able to tell them things you might feel were left unsaid, or, for more practical application, where the hell they put that ring of keys you’ve been looking for for the last 7 months, what exactly they meant when they said Aunt Doris was a lush, and/or what numbers would be best played in this Friday’s lottery.

Of course, if I was being more frivolous, I’d like a sure-fire spell for more leisure time, where I would suddenly have all the time in the world to read and/or spend time with friends or, even better, the ability to temporarily bring the world of a book to life. How great would it be to be able to very literally walk into Narnia alongside the children, or sneak along with the Fellowship in Middle-earth, or meet that secondary-character noble lord that’s always hanging about in the background, filling out the scenery while the heroine pursues her own HEA with the groundskeeper? I mean, really, it’s only fair that he gets a crack at a HEA too, right? ^_~

...Wait, was I only supposed to choose one? *cough* Whoops.

(...“language95” seems rather fitting, somehow…)

I’m torn between the “clean house” (this includes the litter box) spell, the good hair spell and a healthy weight spell.

I think I’ll go with the clean house spell - definitely the clean spell.

I want a spell that gets me a free ARC of Dark Magic.  I’m meta like that.

password: nearly49—Uh, not for another 14 years, thanks!

Everyone has such great ideas and I am having a really hard time settling on just one!  The free book is good, instant shower and hair is even better, clean house would be awesome, weight is right there at the top….geez, so many.

I can think of one though, that would save me a lot of evening headaches.  I am a school bus driver with 66 elementary kids on my bus, followed by a high school/middle school route with about 40 or so kids.  The elementary kids are very loud and I have a headache when I am done on most days.  So, a spell to get those kids home or at least quiet would be great.

I would wave my hand, and all the cars on the roads or freeways would drive perfectly. No idiots cutting me or anyone else off, people would actually know how to use their turn signals, there wouldn’t be any accidents… and I guess the cars would kind of magically move out of my way. :) Also, it’d get rid of Hummers and Escalades pounding out loud *crappy* music I’m forced to listen to at the stoplight. Instead, they’d be playing The Magnetic Fields and David Bowie at a reasonable bass levels.

My road rage would be cured! Also, I’m reading “Moving Target” right now and it’s aces… oh that reminds me- I’d be able to read in the car and the car could safely pilot itself on busy roads without me! Man, I’m going to be so disappointed when I get into my Civic again…

To travel anywhere in the world instantly. Like that Jumper movie. (It would also solve that traffic problem)

Good one, Alyc!

I’m on board with saltypepper too:

I have been wishing fervently for a mute button.  Or a cure for cancer.  Or both.

  Yeah, I’d like to give my parents the cure for Dad’s cancer as a 50th anniversary present on Saturday.

I’m not really into the physical appearance spells or the “make everybody perfect” sorts of spells, because I like the variety that is humanity.  And some things I wouldn’t want a spell to do for me, because they are meaningful when I do them, and even pleasurable when done well (like cooking).

I WOULD like the opposite of shaina’s spell—a spell to make students appreciate the value of homework assignments, lengthy papers, and ESPECIALLY group projects!

But the cleaning spells keep calling me, and the more I think about what one thing would make my life happier and easier on a daily basis, the more it comes down to a spell to get rid of pet hair.  From the rugs, from the corners, from my clothes, from the roof of the convertible—poof, pet hair gone. That’s it; that’s all I want. 

Oh, and an ARC of Dark Magic, of course!

I’d like a cloning spell, where I could summon an exact replica of myself (with my knowledge and abilities) to deal with the unpleasant things I don’t want to.  Or if I have too many things to get done, I could split up the responsibilities; have her do the laundry while I went off to work.

As someone who has recently become obsessed with Wordscrapper on Facebook, I would love a spell that would give me perfect letters and high scoring words so I could beat one of my coworkers who has beat me in every game we’ve played save the first.  Grr!

100% effective birth control spell.  No wrestling condoms, no making sure I’m able to take my pill at the right time every morning.  Most of all, no worrying that next month is going to be the time the pharmacists have moral objections to filling my prescription, or that hormonal birth control gets classed as an abortion method and Roe v. Wade gets overturned.  Just a spell that stays in place unless I decide I want to turn it off.

An invisibility spell.  Anything is possible when you can come and go without being seen.  Traveling to the finest places, staying in the finest hotels, eating the finest food, getting into sold-out shows, enjoying famous art at midnight without any crowds in the museum to bother you…all without spending a dime.  Not to mention, ahem, a little clandestine spying on certain hunky individuals.

Yup, invisibility and I would *so* use it for bad, not good lol.

Oh, the other spell I want! The ability to always have the perfect crushing put-down or reply to others’ stupidity and ignorance in the moment—I always think of the thing to say about a week after the fact, when I’m in the shower still muttering and fuming to myself about whatever it was someone said that make me angry.

I would have a combo spell of being able to wave my hand and have all my ironing done and all the dog fur around the house would disappear :D (Though Alfie would not suddenly go bald LOL)

Oh oh also!

A spell that turns on a real-life minimap.  With quest indicators and tracking ability.

I don’t know how many of y’all have played either Guild Wars or World of Warcraft; both have a mini-map in the corner of the screen that shows a small localized top-down view of the surrounding area; WoW has pointers to nearby cities, and Things Wot You Are Looking For either sparkle (in the “go pick X number of daffodils” type quests or whatever) or show up on the minimap (if you’re tracking, say, beasts); GW has green-arrow pointers to where the heck you need to go in your quest, as well as a star on the minimap for where you need to go.  Both have indicators (colored ! or ? usually) over the heads of People You Need To Talk To.

This?  Would be so freaking awesome in RL.  Get lost easily? Snap fingers, and look at the minimap for help (including a directional compass).  Looking for a particular book? Look for the flashy indicator.  Trying to get all kids’ toys cleaned up? Turn on “track toys” and look for where the sparkly is.  Need to figure out who to talk to, even just to say hi?  Look for a giant floating ! or ? over their heads.

See?  Awesome.  :D

(spamword = fact55. why yes, it IS a fact that actually filling out the antispam box works better than just mentioning the word in the post…)

As an aspiring writer, I would actually like my fail safe spell to be for revisions.  Tap the pencil (or the keyboard) three times and BAM! revisions are done.  Not only would this spell take into account the hours upon hours (upon hours) of blood, sweat, and tears (or chocolate, hand cramps, and mood swings), but it would also instill that glorious sense of accomplishment one gets when the work is actually done.

Creating is the fun part.  Revisions are fun, too, but I would rather have those be done instantly and still retain that general “I learned something out of this” feeling without all the hours/days/weeks/months/years of time spent bent over a keyboard or pad of paper.  And I think my wrists and back would thank me for it.  LOL!

I would love an organizational spell that would work at home for keeping things in place, but also at the bookstore I work at so there are fewer hours of alphabetizing to eat away the day.

Possibly an understanding/advice spell would be cool too. The next time someone comes in needing to talk about their problems I could blink and know what exactly lead up to the issue as well as how to help fix it.

Wow, so many posts, and so many good spells.  I’d definately would love to wave my hands and the house would be magically clean.  I live with a husband, 5 kids and a ton of people who come in and out all the time.  It’s like Picadilly Circus in the rush hour here sometimes…hehe!!!

Valerie

I would definitely want the ability to alter any clothes with the snap of my fingers.  Think of how convenient that would be… you could wear ANYTHING you wanted to, and shopping would never be sad or enfuriating again.

I absolutely loved Cheyenne McCray’s Lord Kir of Oz (written with Mackenzie McKade - if you haven’t read it, BooksOnBoard has a special on the ebooks) so I hope I win!

Darlynne, this is our 3rd Newfie. We adore them, too, despite the fact “slug slime” takes the finish off a car, paint off a wall, and varnish off the furniture. The other two came as “small” puppies (small being a relative term when dealing with a dog that tops out around 150 pounds full grown. lol)

Now that I’ve read through all the wishes so far, I can only say, “Be careful what you wish for.” Philosophically and intellectually, I see so many pitfalls in taking the “easy” way. That said, yeah buddy, wouldn’t it be sweet!!?!

I have another spell I want. I want a spell where I can put magic back into the world. Yeah. That’s the one I want. I want there to be a Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. The Tooth Fairy and The Great Pumpkin. I want the world to see through the eyes of a child so none of us grow up and away from all the magic and mystery there is around us.

A Suzy Homemaker spell. I can’t cook, hate to clean, don’t like grocery shopping, etc. I need a spell that would do all the domestic stuff (like a housewife from the ‘50s without the poofy dress and perfect makeup) so I can just relax on my days off.

Man oh man, there are some great and noble spells going on here!

I’d like a Focus Spell.  With so much activity, noise, thoughts and distractions in this world, it’s so easy to be distracted from an important task at hand or conversations, however important they may be.  I’d like to be able to snap my fingers and make the person with whom I’m speaking hear exactly what I’m saying, really have my point penetrate into a clear and focused mind.  This would work wonders, whether I’m talking to a boss, beau or children - just think of the frustrating repetition I could avoid!  Of course it would also work wonders for myself, I’d be much more productive if I could snap my fingers and suddenly focus on what I’m supposed to be doing instead of dodging it with something like….. Oooh shiny!

I’d be able to magic all of the calories out of food and drink, so I never put on weight!

My spell would be to get all of the benefits of my work out without actually having to work out. YES! Now that is some magic.

Can I make a list of all of the above and use at least one each day till eternity? That’ll really be great!

Since I live far far away, I can’t visit any book signing or RT book fair. I would love a spell that can help me go back and forth, havng fun with my fav authors. Also, it would be wonderful if I win all those awesome contests and comeback with loads of books and stuff!

I would want to be invisible so I could write whenever i wanted and no one (in my family) would be able to find me :)

Mine would almost certainly be a teleportation type spell. I have places to go, people to see, yo.

Mahaira, YES!!  That would be a fantastic spell…to be able to buzz over to the US for all the great conferences and to meet the authors…whoohoo….I could go for that one!!!

Valerie

Oooh, I love these, especially the great skin spell idea! I’d love great, flawless skin, that would make me so happy.

But since that’s taken, I’d have a Selfish Option and a Selfless Option:

Selfish: A repercussions spell, where as I’m making a decision I can see what will become of that decision, and how I’ll feel about that decision in years to come. I have some very powerful regrets and if I’d know in the beginning how my decisions would turn out, I would have chosen differently. It’s not really a Forecasting spell or a See-Into-The-Future spell, it’s just knowing whether I’ll regret this decision or not.

Selfless: A spell that would protect all children and animals from the cruelty of others (mostly adults). No more children being beaten to death by their parents/foster parents/step parents/babysitters. No more animals being mutilated and killed by psychopaths. No more criminal neglect. All animals everywhere—so I guess that includes the horrible cruelties of factory farming as well. And I’m not sure about the cutoff date for kids—I’ll say until the child can be independent and fight back on their own. So if someone tries to maliciously hurt a child or animal, there’s like this force field that they can’t break, no matter what.

That would make me very happy.

Ooooh, KARMA. I’d love to be able to point karmic payback (good and bad) to those who need it. Just giving the laws of the universe a little nudge. :) Lately, I’ve seen way too many good people who do good things having to shovel inordinate amounts of shit with no end in sight.. And others doing awful things and seeming to profit without any sort of repercussions. That bugs that sh*t out of me.

I’m with the “Undo Spell” folks.  For all those times when I wish:

- I hadn’t eaten that (insert some food or non-food group here).
- I had taken the other route and NOT got stuck in traffic.
- I had made the OTHER choice.
- I hadn’t skipped so many opportunities to exercise.  Or, um, floss.
- I hadn’t blurted out the first thing that popped into my head.

And so on.

Everyone has wonderful spells.  I’d like one of each.

For myself, I’d like extra time when I need it.  So I can get enough sleep, get my house cleaned, make dinner, get 2 kids to 2 different activities at opposite ends of the city, catch my train, do my hair, not be late for anything, get all my work done and not have to stay late. Well you get the picture

Today I’d love to have a spell to smite allergens. On a day when my head is not quite so stuffy I’d go for a spell to smite stupid people, but today just having a clearer head would help me deal with stupid people and more.

I would love a spell that would allow me to NEVER have to think of what to have for dinner and then make it. My spell would be that what sounded good for dinner would appear at meal time, then all the dishes would disappear!! Whoooo!!

Wait…......I have to go figure out what’s for dinner and make it now. :(

Hmmm good question..
first thought was to magically make every fantasy come true as one fantasizes but then I remembered some of my fantasies..they belong kept in the brain LOL

So I would have a spell that guaranteed unlimited source of income.. money can fix 75% of life’s problems!
the other 25% you tuck your head between your knees and kiss yer ass goodbye anyway.

The Control-Z spell is definitely a great idea, as is the Karma spell (although I would probably use it too often).  Right now I’m craving a “library spell” —the book I’ve suddenly decided that I want to read is not checked out, there’s a copy in my local branch, it’s shelved correctly and they are open until I get there to check it out!  Having the book I want when I want it would make me very happy.

Instant upset tummy cure: it should work on kids, cats and anyone else considering a repeat of their last meal in front of me.

I might be a bit biased by the ‘presents’ my cat left all over today.

I’d like a spell that would allow me to reach into my pockets and pull out a twenty any time, like an inexhaustible atm in my pocket

I would like to be able to save my game/life before I do something potentially dangerous or stupid.  That way, if it messes up, I could just go back to the old save file and start over!

Oh boy, I’d want a spell that would change all the weekly sale signs in the retail store I work in. It takes hours to do it by hand and people always interupt us.

Wow, that’s a lot of spells for me to go through when I have more time. *g*

Anyway, I procrastinate. The most useful spell for me would be the ability to wave my arms (or whatever) and turn back time to go back and actually do what I was supposed to do. Think of all the things I could get done, the books I could read, the exercise I could do, the essays I could write, the assignments I could put more effort into, the SLEEP I could get… *sigh*

A “silence the children” spell!  I would give my left tit just with a wave of my hand their little mouths will cloth and SILENCE will descend upon the room.  It would be GLORIOUS!  Especially with the 8th graders!

Teleportation, baby! Breakfast in Spain, no precious time wasted in airplanes, and never late to another appointment.

Handicap accessability at the wave of a hand - sidewalks, doors, bathrooms, etc.

have the tropical storms safer . have them give us just the rain we need but not to much.also

Being able to know how to dress for the weather.  Do I pick the light sweater or heavy sweater?  Linen capris or wide-legged polyester slacks?  Hair in a wind-proof ponytail or brushed out?  And so on.

Time travel, visit different times in history and undo the bad stuff..

That would be cool

I would like a spell that would allow me to change as little or as much of my appearance (e.g. eyes, hair, etc.) as I wanted. Although I have to say I like Alexandra’s idea of a self esteem spell….because if the contents aren’t right then it doesn’t really matter about the packaging, does it?

orannia

I would love a spell where, when I’m doing research at the library for an article (or the book I’m supposed to be turning my dissertation into…erm, not magically), I could just wave my hands, say a few words, and every source I could need could be highlighted in yellow on the MLA Bibliography screen.  And the bound periodicals, essay collections, and books I need (but don’t know I need) would float from the shelves and land neatly stacked on a table for my perusal.  That would be the greatest spell evah!

To wave my hands in the air and magically give orgasms to everyone, even criminals because i could stop them in mid wave and then they would just be to happy to hurt me.

My spell would be one perfectly tailored to magically take my daughter (she’ll be 3 in October) from these damned diapers and pull ups to big girl panties with NO accidents! Oh yes. Oh yes. Oh yes. I wish!!!

Rebekah
littleminx at cox dot net

Okay. I wanted to come up with something that was useful, could be even more useful if you really thought about it, but also was seriously limited, so it wasn’t like asking for the world.

I want a Magic Return Ticket.

Here’s the deal:

I like to walk. I really, REALLY like to walk. I like to walk to work, or home from work. The problem is, sometimes I need my car during the day, or I want to walk home because it’s beautiful, but can’t leave my car at work, or (like today) I get sick but, because I walked to work, I have to walk home.

I want a magic return ticket. It will return me - or my car, without me - home in a snap of the fingers. This magic return ticket would also bring the objects that were in the car with it, or bring the packages I was holding (i.e. groceries) with me.

For the creative user, this spell could be useful in many other ways:
- coming back from vacation, when you’re loaded down with holiday goodies
-  those times when my other half and I arrive at a location separately but want to return to our home together. Snap the fingers and - poof! - one car is magically transported home!
- those nights when you’re out drinking, and not really sober enough to be driving
- dangerous situations. Someone shoots at you? Snap your fingers and - poof! - you’re home, but the bullet is still where you were before you snapped your fingers!

I’m sure other people could extend this further.

The other wish - nominated by my other half:
A grilled cheese sandwich spell. Because sometimes you just really want a grilled cheese sandwich. Just say “abracadabra”, and you get a grilled cheese sandwich!

(This spell could also be useful in dangerous situations. Imagine how startled a mugger would be if suddenly a grilled cheese sandwich appeared in front of him? Guaranteed to give you time to run away!!!)

(Hmmmm…need55…does that mean I need 55 more magic spells if I’m going to win something?)

I would love a grooming spell, one that includes instant nail polish that never chips, hair removal and picking out a great outfit.

a spell that gets rid of backlog- at home with dishes and laundry, at work with paperwork, even with friends and correspondence.

A spell that would keep pet hair from sticking to clothing, furniture and the crack between the stove and the counter.

I’m easy to please.

I’d wave my hands and be magically fit, tight abs and all…

All those people who wished for world peace, universal wellbeing, well…you’re all much better people than me.

I could wish for spells to improve my intelligence, solve global warming, or give me and mine more peace of mind. But what I really want is a spell that means I never have to wax, pluck or shave anything. Ever again.

Teleportation and health have already been mentioned several times.  And it would be nice to have an instantly clean house and/or be able to finally drop the weight I’ve gained over the years to get back to my 118lbs days.  All in all, though, I think I’d like to have a “good luck” spell.  Something that would just make life a little easier on a daily basis—-always have green lights, always find the exact change you need when you’re that little bit short, always when that $50 scratch-off when you need the money, always find the last perfect pair of shoes in your size on the EVERYTHING 75% OFF rack, etc.

As a side benefit of being able to always cast this spell perfectly everytime, I’d also be able to bestow good luck on others that needed it.

I’m a veterinary technician, and also the proud mother of a menagerie of dogs, cats, and fish. I would have a spell that let me communicate with animals. “Does that hurt? When did it start? This will help it feel better, but first it will sting. Don’t eat that, please. Why do you INSIST on barking at our neighbors? Yes, I love you, better than any cat in the whole wide world. What, the gourami is bullying you? Yes, you can eat the tomatoes with holes in them, but please leave the green beans in the garden until I can pick them. Hump my leg again and you’re dead.”

That would make life wonderful…...

I would also like a 100% effective birth control spell, but not just for me. I would like it to work for everyone, everywhere in the world, and I would like it to actively prevent conception unless BOTH partners perform the fertility ritual (with a failsafe if either partner is under 18, so no one under eighteen is able to get pregnant or impregnate someone). The fertility ritual would work even if one or both partners would otherwise be infertile. And while I’m at it, since I miscarried my first pregnancy this summer, I’d like the spell to also prevent conception if the chromosomes of the egg or sperm are defective in such a way that the pregnancy will spontaneously abort.

Verification word large29; I am large, but I’m not 29 yet :)

I’d like an anti-procrastination spell, to make me always do the important stuff first. Maybe I could even request that it makes me enjoy, say, grad school admissions applications as much as I enjoy my distractions right now. It kind of horrifies me when I think of all the things I haven’t done and all the things I could have achieved if I just got off my butt and did them. And yet here I am, on my butt. Maybe tomorrow…

Wow, I need that spell!

To know what I’m really feeling and thinking, even when part of me doesn’t want to deal with it.  There’s no superpower or magic spell better than having a mad knowledge of self.

Although a doing-the-dishes spell is an absolutely fabulous idea I hope to one day own a dishwasher which would mostly fix that problem, so:  I want a time warp spell. I want to be able to clap my hands and have an empty period of time that can extend indefinately giving me enough time to meet my deadlines during which I would not have to sleep.  Could it also compress time for when I bored at work or is that pushing it?.

I’d love the “Exactly enough seats on the Metro for every commuter” spell.  Oh, and if the spell could grant instant Metro knowledge to all tourists to DC.  People, it’s Walk Left, Stand Right!

The cleaning-the-house-spell idea is tempting but due to being a horse owner, I vote for a spell that will instantly make whatever I cast it on clean, warm/cool (whichever is needed), and dry.  That includes clothes, shoes, the horse, my sweetie who actually does all the work, my car, etc!

I’ve thought long and hard about this and the cleanup spell is the one I would like the most. I really hate household chores.

But, since that one is already taken and I need to be more creative, I’ve decided I’d like an ‘afternoon tea’ spell. I’d like to wave my hands and have a table and chairs appear with a full tea service on it. 

I can see it now, beautiful porcelain pots and nice china with real silverware and flowers, and tea , chocolate, coffee and milk with sliced fruit, sandwiches, and maybe a dessert.

Sometimes we all need a break, and what is better than taking 45 minutes to an hour just sitting back, sipping tea, eating a healthy snack and visiting with the nice people who are sure to show up to share my tea with me.

As nice as a cleanup spell would be, I’d want a spell that could fix or heal anything.

Break the phone…fixed. Break a bone…fixed. Cancer….buh bye.

A couple people mentioned persuasiveness, but what I want is a little different: I want to know EXACTLY what to say to get EXACTLY the result I want, in any given situation.

The only trouble would be trying to only use my power for good.  Mwahahaha!

Manners. I so would love to wave my hands and force people to be polite.  I’m so sick of being nice and polite and getting nasty, selfish responses. A spell to make people say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and such would rock.

From Lizzie:

Oh, the other spell I want! The ability to always have the perfect crushing put-down or reply to others’ stupidity and ignorance in the moment—I always think of the thing to say about a week after the fact, when I’m in the shower still muttering and fuming to myself about whatever it was someone said that make me angry.

I know I don’t count as far as votes go, but this is complete awesome sauce.

“A-la-peanut-butter-sandwiches!” And everyone in my household—me, my dh, my 5 children, and my dog—would be bathed and exquisitely groomed as they head off to their various destinations every day. Or, in the case of the dog, as she lazes about on her bed all day.

Currently, we spread our bathing out (dh and oldest child at night, others over a two hour stretch in the morning), and I never feel as if I have enough time to do more than put clothes on everyone. I frequently forget I have jewelry that I can put on. Let alone make-up or perfume…

I would like an “agree with me” spell. It would have so many uses!

Husband—snap fingers and “Why yes, dear, those shoes would look lovely on you. Why don’t you get two pairs?”

Kids—“We get to clean our rooms ALL AFTERNOON? Thanks, mom!”

Library patron—“Yes, this romance sounds perfect!”

Marna

seeing as I have several loads of laundry to do tonight, I wish for a bespelled hamper that washes, presses and folds laundry, and then poofs the clothes into their proper places.

Textual insight.

Read a book.  Desire to have a deeper understanding of said book.  Cast spell. Nifty special effects letters rearranging into previous draft.  A tap of a forefinger on the corner of a page flips the drafts backward, much like turning pages backward…so each draft can be read, even if it was never printed. As long as it was written, typed, ever put into semi-permanent form, each draft shows up.

Interesting for novels. Interesting-er for letters.  Earth shattering for significant documents (Constitution? Bible? Sweet!)

The ability to wave my hands and teleport to wherever I need to be. Between a long-distance relationship and an hour-long commute, I’d get a hell of a lot of my life back!

(Also, ROFL @ cats leaving dead stuffed animals around…. I wake up every morning to a dead toy mouse laid lovingly at my bedroom door….)

I wake up every morning to a dead toy mouse laid lovingly at my bedroom door

Personally, I’d be more troubled by a live toy mouse…

I’d love a spell that gave me the ability to accurately describe, in flawless grammar and detail, the images in my head.

(I’ve been trying to write a book and I’ve been struggling mightily with making things on paper look like they do in my head. That may have influenced my choice a bit. *cough*)

For my spell I would manipulate space-time.  I have always wanted to be able to create folds and pockets in the space-time continuum where I could store or permanently “lose” stuff.  This way I could store my enormous book collection out of sight, but have access to it anywhere—I just have to open my “pocket”.  Because time is involved, everything in the pocket would be in stasis, so I could put fresh local strawberries in and access them whenever I want, like in December. :)  Of course, I could make them of any size, so that really annoying person could just be “pocketed” away from me.  Perhaps even emptied out in a really unpleasant place.  Another great use would be for garbage—just pocket it once a week and have that pocket open up in a sun.  Super incineration!  And no lugging it to the curb!

I think someone’s mentioned this:  Instant Karma spell.  A politician gives the greenlight for torture?  ping! Suddenly he’s got toothpicks under his fingernails.  Somebody rescues an animal or helps someone wrestling with a little kid and 3 bags of groceries?  ping!  the old immune system banishes a cancer cell, or someone sends flowers for no reason.  I’ve seen karma work a few times, but a little faster turn-around would be good.

Oh, or the “PINOCCHIO” spell.  Every time a politician lies, his nose gets longer and his apparatus gets shorter.  This would result in quite a few male-to-female sex changes.. or at least, going from an outie to an innie.  (I’m not sure what it would do to female politicians… an epidemic of flat-chestedness?)

Clouds and rain on an English moor,
A hunk with chai tea at the door.
Lean against a rippled chest,
The perfect place to come to rest.

Weapon for a rainy night,
Wakened with the candlelight,
Open book and open spell,
Herein magic comes to dwell.

I would like a spell that would make all my books invisible to my husband so he won’t mind when I buy more books!  LOL!  :)

My spell would send me ARCs.  Poof!  There it is, months before everyone else gets it.

Being a resident of San Francisco, where parking spaces are at a premium, the ability to magically disguise my parking space, or at least make the neighbors eyes slide right past it would be the ultimate. Also, the ability to dismantle the car of a person blocking my driveway and to neatly stack all the little parts in their driveway would be nice.

I would want to be able to apparate and disapparate (like in harry potter).  I am such a nerd.

I would like a spell to be able to discipline bratty teenagers.  You know, the snot nosed 16 year olds who think that just because their daddies have porsches, they can be rude to me.  with this spell, every time I had to deal with one of these people I would just say “you’re being a dipshit” and they would realize the truth and be nicer and more respectful.  oh, and I want a spell that won’t let cars go higher than the speed limit.  I hate those rats who blast through stop signs at the corner of my house.  I nearly got run over while walking to the bus!

If I had to pick a spell it would be to have my bills paid.  The stress would be gone and I could read and relax.  *sigh*

The ability to blink my eyes and my little ass of a dog stops immediately and comes when called.

Two words:

Not Dying.

Organizer Spell
I would like a spell that keeps my house and everything I have clean, dust free and organized.

Trimmer Spell
I would like a spell that keeps my grass trimmed so that my family don’t have to get a lawn mover or trimmer to cut the grass, trees, and bushes.  (We have a huge yard!)

I also love the zero calorie spell that someone mentioned.

I would like a keep the kids/teens safe spell.  Watching the news these days makes me not want my teens to leave the house.

Health Food Spell

At all hours of the day, whenever I need a meal or a snack, one will pop up.  Food from all around the world, with exactly the type of nutrients I need at that moment, nothing I don’t need, and tasting exactly what I happen to be in the mood for right then.  Time for lunch?  A perfectly prepared Maine lobster would appear.  Dinner?  Moroccan lamb comin’ right up!  Feeling a bit peckish at around three?  A nice little dish of Kalamata olives would be nice.  The trick is to match what I need nutrition-wise to what I need taste/texture wise. 

And, of course, if I’m at work, it will appear unobtrusively in a brown paper bag and take the form of something likely to be brought for lunch.  A salad from Greece or a sandwich from . . . someplace that’s famous for really good sandwiches.  The possibilities are endless!

I would love to have the ability to make people feel at ease by just being in close proximity of me.  No matter what the situation I would love to be able to calm peoples nerves. A bit of peace in a sea of madness I suppose.

My spell is named: FIXIT
I would use it carefully and in small doses since it would come with the warning: FIXIT at your own risk.

How many times have we wanted the kids to be quite.  FIXIT could do that for you in the blink of an eye…but how dismally quiet your home would be.

How many times have you wanted to know everything you needed to know? FIXIT could do that for you with a snap of your fingers.  But wouldn’t your head ache with all that knowledge crammed in it at one single instant?

How many time have you wanted to be as small/tiny/thin as when you were younger?  FIXIT could do that for you without sacrificing one morsel of food.  But what fun would it be to be SIX again.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

“Be careful what you wish for,” the mad genie warns.

I would go for the ability to shut my kid up.  Yes, I would pay85 for it. I would pay anything.

I’d like a magic mirror that shows people when they’re being obnoxious. People who act mean to others as a defense mechanism and then complain they have no friends - those people need a magic mirror that gives them a true reflection. The “It’s not Me, it’s You” mirror. You must have someone in your life who repeats the same thing all the time; “Why am I fat?” “Why doesn’t he want to marry me?” “Why can’t I get a promotion?” “Why do I only attract trolls?” “Why, why why? Waa Waa Waa!”

Oh Magic Mirror, show them the reason so they can move on and stop annoying everyone with their constant whining! Please. Oh pretty please.

Magic mirror, who do these people annoy me so much?

ARMAGEDON-powerfull spell that can end all of our problems,suffering and stres situation,just with one snap with my finger in a blink of an eye all is gonne for good and never come back. the air is cleaner like after rain and there is nobody and noone to disturb the peace that become after ARMAGEDON-spell.

The end procrastination spell. Then I could actually get all my horrible work done without agonizing about it for days, weeks, months, years before finally doing it.

An anti-procrastination spell. That is my worst vice and it has gotten me into trouble so many times before today.

You know what? Reading SMTB is me procrastinating right now. So I really need that spell.

A spell that would make chocolate and cake make me LOSE weight!

If you could create one fail-safe spell that would be yours to use forever, what would it be?

To infect the entire world with a sense of humor:)