Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

I’m sorry, I can’t hold back.  I know you said only comments that disagree with you, but I have to say that I lost any respect for the poster of the anti-SB comments when I saw it was “Anonymous”.  Have the ovaries to stand up for what you believe in by putting your name behind it.

Well, shit.  I *have* to disagree?  Where do you get off telling me what I have to do, huh?  (Will that cover the snarky requirement, and can I now say what I really wanted to?)

One of the things I love about SB is that there is so much humour, along with the intelligent discussion.  I love that posters can say what they think, I love that not everyone agrees, and I love that fact that we can enjoy the romance genre without buying into some of the ridiculous conventions that go along with it.  For the most part, discussions on SB are some of the most well-balanced and intelligent around.  That all said, the specific post you’re referencing was one I decided to stay out of after a certain point, not because dissension wasn’t being tolerated, but because the whole tone of the conversation was drifting out of my zone of interest.  Besides, there were others who were doing a rip-snorting job of being the voices of reason.

OK, so you say:

To be honest, there weren’t any romance websites out there that said “cuntmonkey,” “queefweasel” or “buttpirate,” and Sarah and I set out to correct this tragic lack.

Well, firstly there are NO sites out there that say “queefweasel” AT ALL. I think that you made that one up.

As for “Buttpirate”, well what about this then? It even has man-titty (admittedly nip-free man-titty, but you go with what you got).

So I think that your defence is all shot to pieces and that SBTB is really a subversive organisation dedicated to the destruction of everything that AAR stands for (Association of American Railroads, American Academy of Religion, Association of Artists’ Representatives, Action for Aboriginal Rights, African-American Review and Association for Automated Reasoning).

That do for dissent?  And don’t you go calling me a fanboy.

(Could you send the bung in used fivers if sovereigns and guineas are too heavy for air mail).

I must dissent:  the Pepto-pink of the SB background just doesn’t work for me—reminds me of a particularly vile episode of stomach flu.  *huge sigh* But I focus on the content - the content is what matters!  *heaves another sigh, feeling like a martyr*

Jennifer ;-P

Fine, I’ll be dissenting.

I hate hot pink.

‘ere, wot’ve you done with our comments?  First it’s making up words, now it’s censorship.  What about my rights under the Twenty-First Amendment?

OK, found it.  But I hate being called a “fucker”.  Where I come from “wanker” is much more the thing.

Bloody colonials…

Okay, Bam, bring it on, sistah!

My heroine’s name is Pink, and she’s hot.  Are you saying you hate my heroine???  Huh???

Candy, I totally see where you’re at, but come on - don’t take all this so seriously.  Life is too short.  I appreciate that you’re trying to diffuse something that could potentially blow up into something ginormous, but I’m not so sure this shouldn’t have been filed in the If I Ignore It, It Will Go Away drawer.

At this point, I’d like to say something positive, but you said no fluffy bunnies, so I’ll wait for a later entry, then post something off topic, which will make everyone say, “Jesus, what’s her problem?”

Stef, whose only problem right now is that my last kid just left for college, and I have an empty nest, and I feel OLD…

Okay. I also hate the pink. For two reasons.
First: I just don’t like pink. But then I don’t like yellow or orange either, so I’m hard to please.
Second: It’s a blatant giveaway that I’m reading something not at all related to work. It just screams out: SLACKING! SLACKING!

How am I supposed to surreptitiously slack with a background color like that?!

As regards the Jesus/Man-titty post, the thread closed before I could formulate a response, esp. considering the number of unkind remarks made about me as a poster/person already in the thread.

In any case, I suppose it doesn’t matter.  One thing I don’t really like about the blogosphere is that comments made on message boards in perhaps an emotional moment can be taken and immortalized as a perpetual offering to the Gods of @sshole-dom.  Perhaps this is why I post so seldom anywhere. 

I have conflicting feelings about the pharmacists you mentioned in that same entry.  In a way I can sympathize with people who have more conservative religious views.  I’m Catholic and do not use birth control and I do think that the pill does have an abortifacient component (although that is more of a chemical layer back-up to its primary function of stopping ovulation).  On the other hand, it seems sort of pointless and unprofessional to send customers away empty-handed.  Also really bad for business.  I wouldn’t want a pharmacist of a different religious persuasion refusing to dispense a drug because it had caffeine and caffeine was anathema to him, for example.  I suppose that’s wishy-washy. 

I will take back my original accusation of SB being anti-Christian, even though I myself have a less harsh view of fundamentalist Christians than most of your audience.  I’ve known many of them and most of them have been compassionate people who were not, in fact, politically active.  That is anecdotal evidence, however, and proves nothing.

C.

Umm...hmmm...how do I turn “I think you should have told that fervent Anonymous AAR defender to suck it, since a) pointing to a couple of threads doesn’t mean shit one way or the other and b) as you yourself pointed out you’ve said plenty of nice shit about AAR, but hey, why bother to read and comprehend” into dissent?

Hmmmm.

I liked “Suddenly You” by Lisa Kleypas and there’s nothing you can do about it Sandy Vaggy Candy!

I am so sick of this Monica vs. AAR and Monica hates white readers I could puke.

You brought it up, so I get to respond.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to respond to any abuse or bother to defend myself. 

I am not feuding with AAR.  I had the gall and ultimate nerve and temerity to criticize LLB’s sensitive self and all her henchgirls jumped me with a vengeance. 

What I’ve merely said is that the romance genre is segregated by race (by black race only).  AAR segregates romance (they are not special and unique--as I said, romance is segregated, period).  BUT AAR is the biggest romance resource on the net, by far the most self-important and proclaims loudly they are all about romance.

The hell you are, I have retorted (on my own space).  I am the only Negro with the figurative balls to say this, but you best believe that some think it.

SIMILE and simile only.

If I said the University of Alabama discriminated against black college students and professors in the fifties would I be merely stating a damn fact? Or would I have been calling all white college students back then racists?  Would that have made me feuding against the U of A instead of stating a frickin’ fact?

I’m aware, AAR isn’t UofA and it isn’t the fifties, as I’m sure somebody is all too eager to point out.  However AAR does continue the practice of excluding and segregating black romance and are uninterested in making the effort to integrate.  Does this make them racist?  Hell, if I know.  All I do know is that they exclude and segregate black romance as do many, many other romance community venues. 

It’s the taboo that nobody dare speak.  Some whine in indignation because my black self had the nerve to raise the topic. I won’t eva, nevah buy your books!  I won’t eva, nevah buy any other black romance books because of you, so there!  Those heffas weren’t nevah, eva going to touch a Negro romance in the first place.  Pleeeze.

Okay, I’m going to choose as my form of dissent against Candy and Sarah that of not following the rules for this particular thread.  So there.

Anyway, I read Bonnie’s blog, and it reminded me of the fact that there is a substantive difference between racism and racIALism.  Racialism is the phenomenon of viewing things through a racial lens, and while it can certainly accelerate to full-blown racism, in and of itself it’s a different impulse.  I would argue that, to greater or lesser degree, we’re all racialists; that is, we all notice and to some degree process differences in race categorically.  I have yet to encounter one person, including myself, who is truly color-blind (letting alone the question of would we want to be blind to anything).  To some degree, we view and are viewed as part of an artificially homogenous whole designated as our “race,” “ethnicity,” or “culture”.  As a white reader, I can’t escape being merged with the category known as the “white race,” in the same way that the individual that is Monica is to some degree merged with the category of “African American” or “black”.  Not all racialism is racism, although all racism is racialism. 

I think it’s virtually impossible to rid ourselves of racialism—in our language, our cultural images, our history, and our sense of the world as ordered along lines of difference as well as similarity.  And I think a lot of times instances of racialism are mislabeled racism, catalyzing all sorts of aggressive dissension (as opposed to civil dissent).  Now whatever judgment emerges from racialist views may veer into the territory of racism, but it may not—it may be a categorical judgment that is, as all categorical judgments are, overly broad and objectionable to some members of said category. 

It’s not always easy to discern the dividing line between racialism and racism.  Is, for example, a comment like “Chinese women make the absolute best chicken” racist, racialist, or something else?  How about the comment, “Chinese women cook so well because they’re always in the kitchen cooking for their families”?  There’s a bunch of stuff there, some seemingly complimentary, some potentially insulting, some ambiguous and dependent on context.

I don’t know where I’m going with this, except to say that I think eager cries of racism actually disguise all the more subtle ways we categorize and differentiate ourselves and others in the world, based on assumptions that could be negotiated and differences minimized if not for the instant accusation of racism.  Because let’s face it; you never lose by waiting to call someone racist, because if they are truly racist, they’ll likely out themselves to the world as such long before anyone has to make the accusation.

My dissent can be summed up in one simple sentence: I just don’t like pink. Since that’s my failing and not the fault of SBTB, I suppose I’d best just shut up now…

I find the SB website interface clunky.  I want to read new comments first, not scroll down to see them all the way at the bottom.

Or wasn’t that the kind of dissent you meant?

Screw it, when I’m going to bitch, I’m going to bitch about something important!

Robin, you are awesome. I love your well presented, reasoned, devil’s advocacy.

On a related note, I lament that somewhere along the way we lost the ability to generalise or make generalisations. However if I were to present you with demographic statistics, citing study and results that’s fine and dandy.

I hate PC crapola.

X

“I liked “Suddenly You” by Lisa Kleypas and there’s nothing you can do about it Sandy Vaggy Candy!

Posted by Arethusa on 08/22 at 03:52 PM”

Please leave me out of Candy’s Vaggy.  Thank you. ;)

Pictures. I want to see my Smart Bitches. Especially you, Candy. I’ve had yellow fever since junior high school, and with a name like Candy Tan, I’m figuring you’re damned hot. And those pictures of matrons in tortoise-shell glasses at the top of the page? You don’t have me fooled, no sir, not for one minute.

And another thing. Am I a fanboy or a fangirl? I’m an honorary bitch; does that make me an honorary fangirl, too?

I have an Italian porn star’s name. My real name, that is. I look about as Chinese as the next… uh… Chinese girl, but I have an Italian first name AND last name. I wasn’t adopted like Maddox and Zahara.

I liked Pink when she first came out and she had that “There You Go” song and that was kind of cool. As for the color pink, Michelle’s right. You can’t hide that shit. Your boss is gonna know for sure you’re not reading a tech manual.

Huh. Does that make Doug racIAList?

Can I complain that my name never shows up in the fancy SB girly fan club listing on the side any more?

Sandy I apologise--this is where incorrect capitalisations land me--although I daresay Candy’s vaggy is probably ok, so don’t hurt her feelings if you can help it.

Okay, that was so hot I almost burned my chicken. Kebabs. But then I scrolled down to Candy’s Extremely Tall Extremely Handsome Husband and I flashed on the ugly never-ending breakup with GF v1.0, when she announced that her new boyfriend was tall, making ‘tall’ a three-syllable word, and I realized in a testicles-sucking-up-into-my-abdominal-cavity flash: She doesn’t like hobbit anymore. She wants Aragorn.

Good lord, I’ve turned into a “regular” AAR poster.  It only took 4 years.  It’s all Robin’s fault.  I am going to do the unheard of and disagree with Robin here.  I don’t think what Monica and Bonnie are talking about is limited to racial differentiation, I think it does have some aspect of at least racial bigotry to it.  I think it’s not reading black romances because there’s no expectation of being able to identify.  Full disclosure:  I don’t read black romances either (although I’m about to get me some black Westerns).  I also don’t read chick lit, Bravas and Blazes, Harlequin Presents, the Silhouette lines, or Highland Vampires.  It may be non-racial disinterest, or it may be racial bigotry.  I’m honestly not sure.  I love Monica’s blog and read it regularly, and a lot of what she says makes sense to me.  But I like Alison Kent’s blog too, and I don’t read her books.

So I don’t really know if this is about bigotry, differentiation, or racism.  I do think it is interesting, however, that people will say that black romances aren’t interesting to them, but they’ll read other contemporaries and they’ll identify with medieval Scottish women who are in love with vampires? 

I also think that posters criticize AAR here (when the subject arises) because it’s one of the few venues where they can. When that thread was going nuts, I didn’t say “you people are ridiculous” because they have the same right to post there that I do.  When I came over here I expressed my feelings because it was not on AAR turf and it fit into the discussion.  I have issues with how AAR is organized and run and the philosophy behind the reviews, but hey, it’s their site and I’m a guest, and I very much appreciate the good things they provide. 

On the fangirl issue:  Yes, it was the first time I posted, but I had been reading you since you started, and beautifully crafted idols of Candy and Sarah have replaced Ganesh in the little shrine in my breakfast nook.  Hope that’s not a problem, and I’m expecting a bumper sticker.

Uh, I thought the Dougster was married.  But I suppose, just because you’re on a diet, doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu.

Stef

Thanks, Sarah. Yes, I know there’s a niche for us dorks (although your hubs looks FINE TO ME, but I’m hetero, so what do I know?) Happily, my wife still finds me attractive. I’ve never understood what she saw in me in the first place, and it’s still a mystery to me. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: guys are icky. When women learn to reproduce parthenogenetically, the male sex is doomed.

No offense intended to the people involved, at all - you both seem like fine individuals, intelligent and reasonable and all that good stuff. However, the content seems to have gone downhill since Beth first pointed me in your direction. I used to check every day for actual smart, intelligent reviews, bitching, general commentary, but along the way the normal content seemed, to me, to become predominantly posts revolving around the “I say fuck/cunt/whatever because I can” theme. Frankly, I hold to the opinion that ANYBODY can say whatever they want, and I don’t see the point in reiterating that you can say whatever you want.

So, um, my bitch/beg: less gratuitous vulgarity, more return to intelligent commentary.

kthx.

“I am going to do the unheard of and disagree with Robin here.  I don’t think what Monica and Bonnie are talking about is limited to racial differentiation, I think it does have some aspect of at least racial bigotry to it.  I think it’s not reading black romances because there’s no expectation of being able to identify.  Full disclosure:  I don’t read black romances either (although I’m about to get me some black Westerns).  I also don’t read chick lit, Bravas and Blazes, Harlequin Presents, the Silhouette lines, or Highland Vampires.  It may be non-racial disinterest, or it may be racial bigotry.  I’m honestly not sure.  I love Monica’s blog and read it regularly, and a lot of what she says makes sense to me.  But I like Alison Kent’s blog too, and I don’t read her books.

So I don’t really know if this is about bigotry, differentiation, or racism.  I do think it is interesting, however, that people will say that black romances aren’t interesting to them, but they’ll read other contemporaries and they’ll identify with medieval Scottish women who are in love with vampires?”

Oooh, just when I thought it was going to get good.  But alas, Sunita, I don’t really think you’re disagreeing with me.  Notice I didn’t take a stand on either the Monica or Bonnie blogs, and that’s for a reason.  But if I have to come clean in order to make my point clear, I will (well, sort of).  If I refused to read every book by an author who I felt might have a categorical judgment about me, I’d have nothing to read. Monica’s comments have made me actively seek out more African American Romance, including hers, to get a better sense of what she’s talking about.  While I really like AAR, her comments on the marginalization of AA Romance fascinate me.  I don’t know how much of what she says I agree with yet, but I won’t decide until I have me some more evidence (guess what class I’m taking this semester??).  As to Bonnie’s blog, I think several of her examples demonstrate the conflation of racism and racialism, and the ugly consequences when the word racism is hurled at someone right up front.  But it also struck me that in her example about racial interactions in retail, that every person in that scenario, including the narrator, seemed to be viewing things from a racial perspective.  I think my whole point was just that every racial comment isn’t racist; but by the same token, it’s much easier to see racism in others than ourselves, so, as you say, it’s very complex.  I’m not saying racialism is good or bad, only that I think we’re (as a society) too quick to make the charge of racism, when sometimes it’s a lesser offense.

I adore Pink, the singer, but hate the pepto-colored background as well.

But we’re supposed to dissent and argue here, so here goes:

Men-titty makes my stomach turn. Maybe THAT’s where the peptopink comes in…

My secret is out. I’m feeling such a sense of freedom, an unfetteredness.

Oh, wait...dissent, dissent…

I hear Jenny Crusie is a great person, but I really dislike her books. IMHO, they’re sappy and uninspiring.

I appreciate everyone being all mature and PC and all that about the RWA, but I think there needs to be some punishment doled out, i.e. someone needs to whip out some Jackie Chan on someone. I think TTQ should be tied to a chair, gagged and forced to watch endless reruns of her awards fiasco video until she either passes out, pisses herself, develops a tic in her cheek or some combination of the previous options. Political commercials disguised (POORLY disguised, even) as awards ceremonies make me wanna kung fu somedamnbody.

I’ve never been to AAR and don’t aniticipate going there. Ever. I don’t know what it is and I don’t care, dammit.

I think sandy vaginas are hilarious unless said vagina happens to belong to me. Had the real live version of Sex on the Beach and let me tell you, SAND GETS EVERYFRICKINGWHERE! NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD!

I’ve decided that I, too, need some henchgirls. A whole fracking flock of them.

And who cares of you’re black, yellow, red, white or purple, don’t be a hater. Haters piss me right off.

There, that’s all of the spleen I have to vent for now. Don’t get my ass started on my hubby, as he is on the PRETTY DAMN NEAR ETERNAL SHIT LIST right now for reasons I refuse to revisit. I may let him live, although the votes aren’t all in yet.

“Huh. Does that make Doug racIAList?”

Uh, no.  IMO it makes him a guy who understands himself and his audience.  And who’s damn funny.

Mish the D: could we get around the sandy vaj prob by keeping the sex strictly oral? I mean, you can always spit it out, right? Sand, I mean.

Robin: you’ve convinced me. I need to write male-centered romance. Hell, there’s enough pent-up angst from the GF v1.0 breakup to fuel 10 romance novels.

Mish the D: could we get around the sandy vaj prob by keeping the sex strictly oral? I mean, you can always spit it out, right? Sand, I mean.

Oh, ain’t that JUST like a man to think that oral sex solves EVERYTHING. 

I may go in the bedroom and kick my sleeping hubby thanks to you, Doug. Feel his pain, buddy!

I hear Jenny Crusie is a great person, but I really dislike her books. IMHO, they’re sappy and uninspiring.

I really have to disagree with the “sappy” part of this assessment.  Crusie is one of my auto-read authors.  She’s LOL funny, and her writing is filled with some really smart layering in terms of theme and symbolism, but it’s not sappy.  In fact, her stories are not very tender at all.  That glowing newly fallen-in-love thingee romance readers crave tends to be missing in her books, probably because her characters are so realistic, snarky, and down-to-earth.  There’s just none of that throat-tightening tenderness you find in Kinsale’s books, for instance - like when at the end of The Dream Hunter Arden makes Zenia a charm to help keep her demons at bay.  Or when Devon and Merry finally have their consummation scene in The Windflower or when Sebastian gives Rachel a yellow puppy in To Have and To Hold.  That’s not what Crusie is about.

Though, to be fair, you don’t see so much of that tenderness in decently written contemporary romance [you can find the hack sap equivalent, but that’s not the same].  Browsing through my shelves, I’m hard pressed to find that combo of healing tenderness in the above examples.  I’m wondering now if that’s because we as readers don’t think modern day men can be that tender.  Or women that vulnerable.  If they think it’s only believable in one-step-removed-from-the-real-and-now historicals?

Hmmm. 

Rio D.

First, I hate the pink. And the yellowy/orange stuff at the top doesn’t do it for me either. In fact, it hurts the eyes.

Second, I hate how in the comments, if I click on the link for someone’s name, their website loads into the comments window - instead of a new window - & has no navigation tools on top. That sucks. Because then I’m there but can’t go back, I can’t sub with a blog reader, I can’t do anything, except shut the baby down & re-open the comments.

Oh, and I think you should talk more about heros whom you loved. Preferably with pictures included.

This experiment has been sort of a failure, and sort of a success. For those of you who posted actual dissenting opinions and/or criticism (Claudette, Bonnie, the multitudes of people who hate the Pepto Bismol pink background [which, frankly, fills me with evil glee because I meant for the color to be as annoying as possible when I came up with the layout, mwahahaha]), thank you.

Darlene: I hear ya about the comments. However, it’d be even more annoying for people who join the conversation a bit later and have to scroll backwards to follow the thread. No blog comment board nor forum I’ve seen puts the newest posts first, not by default, anyway. I *might* be able to code a link you can click that allows you to sort by newest comments first. No promises, though, but technically it should be possible.

In the meanwhile, when there’s a long conversation and I know there have only been a couple of new posts, I just hit the “End” button on my keyboard, which brings me to the bottom of the page, then I page up a coupla times, which is usually enough to bring me to the new comments. Saves you from a whole lotta scrolling.

Hornblower: I’ll try and see if I can get the links in comments to automatically load in a new window. I think I tried to do it once, when I was coming up with the overall look for the site and fucking with the stylesheets, but the PHP code was not happy with me for doing that.

In the meanwhile, here are a few solutions for clicking on links:

1. When you go to a link, instead of clicking on it, right-click on it and select “Open in New Window.” This should open the browser in a new window, unless you have a really draconian pop-up stopper enabled.

2. If you accidentally click on a lick, right click on an empty area and select “Back.” That should bring you back to the comments. Should right-clicking be disabled (yeah, some bastard web designers do that and I don’t know why because it’s friggin’ pointless and annoying for people like me who like to use this particular shortcut for backtracking), hold down your ALT key and press down on your left arrow button.

And the rest of you non-dissenters: Mother. Fuckers.

p.s. Doug: I don’t know how I ended up tall hotboy, myself. He’s dorky as hell, though. Trust me, he’s not Aragorn. Maybe an Ent on crack.

I think by calling yourself “bitches” you create some negative expectations, set a negative tone, and invite a certain amount of negativity from visitors.

I hate that women feel they have to denigrate themselves to show that they’re cool (Smart Bitches, Book Slut, bla bla bla on and on. Drives me crazy).

Now that I’ve done my duty by dissenting, I’ll just add what I really want to say: I don’t think it’s possible to have much dissent on a discussion site if the moderators are sharing their opinions openly (and pretty much agree with each other). It’s natural that they’re going to attract like-minded fans and real dissenters will melt away to find other sites.

But why do you need dissent here? It’s a personal blog, and a popular one so you must be doing something right.

I know you said you won’t comment on any remarks made here but I don’t mind if you do comment on my remarks. So if you feel like it, go ahead.

PS - I don’t like pink much but I think the shocking pink background fits this site.

That’s really cool of you. I admire it. Sorry for not dissenting some more - I’ll stop now.

I enjoy Julie Garwood (the Scottish historicals, sorry Maili), Elizabeth Lowell, Judith McNaught, and Nora Roberts. So kiss my ass… there is that dissent enough?

Fangirl, my flying fanny.

X

No repercussions, and we won’t try to rebut any of the comments made, nor will we use them as fodder for future blog entires or rants.

*slow smile*

Candy secretly loves animated GIFs.

Sarah is terrible at cooking and she regularly burns down her kitchen. In fact, all fire fighters are listed on her Xmas cards list.

Candy and Sarah of SmartBitches strongly agree that rabid fangirls of Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander should listen to a double CD of Scottish bagpipes every day for a year.

Candy and Sarah are secret worshippers of the Anti-Christ. 

I’ll think of some more later. :)

Oh, I can do this (dissent that is). I’ve pissed in a few cornflakes the past few days so I’m in practice…

I still think SB is wrong about that Jenny Crusie, Bet Me cover. Those WERE fuck me shoes and the cover is not one that made me want to buy the book. It was all around stupid and didn’t deserve to be the subject of a “great cover” blog.  But I still like her books and I especially liked that one.

Robin’s comments scare the frigging crap out of me because they’re always so well reasoned and rational that I never feel as though I have anything worthwhile to say. But I think that’s my own, sorry problem.

Linda Howard does too write good books and Dream Man isn’t trash no matter what anyone says. Take that Sarah!

I think, as romance readers, we need to be careful of going too far in making fun of our own genre. In the SB snarking, it has become clear that some authors are even more fair game than others (Cassie Edwards anyone?). I don’t think we should shame anyone for reading ANYTHING (well, with the exception of kiddie porn but that is a whole other conversation) but I would bet that there are people out there who love some of the authors that SB have made fun of and are scared to speak up. Kind of like when romances are made fun of by those who refuse to read them. It’s a fine line the SB are balancing- snarking on the genre to generate honest discussion and snarking on the genre in a way that encourages only those who agree to speak up because the ones who dissent feel embarrased to admit it. I wonder if I made any sense? I should have had Robin formulate my reply for me ;)

Which leads me to my last dissent- it’s okay to use lol, lmao and smilies sometimes. Text is flat and there is little way to express emotion behind the words.

Oh, and breastfeeding sex still gives me the heebie jeebies and no, I won’t be trying it out for myself but I’ll be asking Sarah her opinions on the matter in a few months.

Did I dissent good? (I need validation, I’m fragile).

“Robin’s comments scare the frigging crap out of me because they’re always so well reasoned and rational that I never feel as though I have anything worthwhile to say. But I think that’s my own, sorry problem.”

Go over to AAR and watch the disagreement with me flow freely.  I’ve actually been called and accused of being some interesting things over there, and STILL I kind of like it over there.  Really, though, every time I post I worry I have nothing relevant to say.  Every time.  And I think you make a really good point about shaming what other people read.  I don’t know where that line is, but I think your point is worth a lot more discussion. 

“I hate that women feel they have to denigrate themselves to show that they’re cool (Smart Bitches, Book Slut, bla bla bla on and on. Drives me crazy).”

Hey, Fair!  I agree with you.  I think there’s a fine line between subversion and self-denigration, and I frankly don’t know where it is.  On the one hand, I like the idea of women taking back certain words, especially those that have been used against us.  On the other hand, that only works when there’s a decent amount of self-awareness and a TOTAL lack of shame about embracing said words.  I think it works here, but not necesarily in other places.

‘Shit, does anyone, anywhere on the Internet warn people they disagree with that hey, they’re about to do some disagreeing?’

And what? Does anyone, anywhere on the internet pause for a moment before posting explicit pictures of their genitals covered in jam?

I’ll dissent there. If you disagree with someone in a forum, fight the piece out in that forum. If you’ve more to say on the issue, either tell the person - “I’m going to blog about this” - which might bring them to dissent here - or write an opinion piece and discuss the issue without reference to what JackieMadPerson said to piss you off.

Personal opinion, of course. But the most remorseless ‘YOU ARE A MAD COMMUNIST FASCIST!!!’ board infighting is, if nothing else, people trying to communicate with each other. Seems somehow breaking the rules of honest communication to abandon the argument in one place, and continue it one-sided at a different venue.

I’m sick of introspection and self-doubt. . . . My own, anyway. Yours is fine.

And the history channel--I’m way sick of that. The military slant is bad enough, but the rah rah-nitude is worse than army propaganda.

Candy:  Thanks for the remark to me regarding scrolling through the comments.  I appreciate the tips and the explanation.

And while I would not want the Pepto-Bismol pink anywhere near my person or my household, it works for you guys.  Strikes the right note of retro-and-in-your-face bitchiness.

Stef: *blushes* Thanks. I dig you too.

*clears throat, takes back severe schoolmarm look* OK, I notice a few people replied to my, “How dare these uppity women...” etc. I’m going to sound off here about why I use the word bitch, tho’ it’s technically not part of the thread. Just call this my dissent against the rules too.

Everybody here has seen Kill Bill, right? Well, I want to use the word bitch the way Beatrix Kiddo and the Deadly Vipers use it, as endearment or a “fuck-you” depending on my tone. I want to be strong enough that I can be proud when another strong woman admiringly calls me a bitch, and deadly enough that when a jerkwad of any sex tries to insult me with the word “bitch” I can whip out my ol’ Hatori Hanzo and have me some sushi. (Of course, when Doug calls me a bitch, I might just rub his little hobbit head and grin.)

It’s not that I feel the need to denigrate myself. It’s that, like it or not, words like “bitch”, “witch”, and “slut” have power, for whatever reason. And that power’s mine, and I’m gonna take it, dammit. It belongs to me. If there are words we are afraid to say, then someone else holds power over our self-expression. Fear and shame have been used as weapons to stop women from being brassy, self-confident, independent, and all those other inconvenient things, and that shite stops right here with me.

*backing down off soapbox now* I think using the word “bitch” or “slut” isn’t self-denigrating. I think we’re taking back our power to call ourselves whatever we want.

Whew. Breathless from the rant. Back on topic… You know, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t like the pink.

Just call me a bitch.

I just come here for the man-titty… This was a little too much for me.  :bug:

A little late in the day, perhaps, but here are my reasons to keep coming back to the site:

Sarcastic commentary and discussions about the silly, ridiculous and downright dumb aspects of the genre that don’t conclude: “which is why all romance is shit and anyone who reads it is a moron.”

Good reviews. This side of the pond, it’s hard to find a good range of romantic fiction anywhere, and when you do it’s expensive. Libraries and the few second-hand bookstores around are a bit of a wash-out, unless you fancy tired old Catherine Cooksons, ancient M&Bs, or those books about being “poor but ‘appy, then miserable, then pregnant and awwwiiih Billy’s dead!”. Yes that was a sweeping generalisation; I did sob delightedly over Tuppence Cross the Mersey &co. as a teen, but these days I like funny. 

So having exhausted these resources you’re left with unbrowsable Amazon. If I go to the hassle of ordering a book and forking out a fair amount of cash for the privilege, it’s really annoying if it’s shit. A sycophantic “Oooo I loved it, a rising star!” is not helpful or fair.

But I’m not such a fan of the political stuff and cliquey in-fighting about who said what on which board etc. Admittedly, this is partly because I don’t know the back history of all these debates, and to get to the bottom of all the she-said-he-said thing takes too much bloody time. Keep the fight in one sandbox, please.

So if someone kindly provides a noddy guide then I might get interested, otherwise I couldn’t give a toss. That said, I do luuurrrve a good debate. But it’s a debate. Be insulting, but do it well, otherwise it’s just dull. And leave the straw men at home. (On the whole SB’s better than most at this; I suspect that my to-ing and fro-ing on this one has prompted a mini-rant).

Finally, a big fat no to hot pink and pictures that make it obvious to anyone who passes my desk that I’m not working. Perhaps you could replace them with a nice corporate-grey spreadsheet that occasionally flicks to a complicated-looking diagram? In which case it might also help if you also made things less funny, so that I don’t spoil the ruse by inadvertently laughing or smiling when I should be doing Very Important work. A few graphs might help here.

A little long for a lurker perhaps but you asked for dissent. Blame my Lutheran ancestors and be grateful it was one thesis, not ninety-five.

As for the sign-off, I really am Auntie Peril, so may as well sign off as such. Anyone offended enough to try to send out a hitman can always work out enough information from this and my biog to track me down. And if you can’t, then you’re not even trying…

I have a cold and work is kicking my ass.  I cannot be expected to hold up my end of pissing Candy off when overworked and under the weather.  I will be dissenting again later—when I feel better.

But ... Damn she’s fun to mess with—

::popping cold pills::

::sniff::

I really have to disagree with the “sappy” part of this assessment. 

Dissenting about my dissenting??? COOOOOOL!

I meant sappy more in a “Jaysus, do people really live like this?” kind of way than sappy in the traditional sense of the word. Anyway, whatever you want to call it, I don’t like it. It’s all so banal and “oooh look at me, I’m a pithy-comebacked sassy smart up & coming yuppie heroine looking for Mr. Right, and HECKLES, I’m a-gonna find him in about 20 pages!”. When I finished reading my last Crusie book, I wasn’t entertained - I was just vaguely irritated.

Just my $.02. Feel free to flame me. I can take it.

I hate the hot pink becuase I dislike the color and because it screams froo-froo girl when people peek at my comp.

Also, I wish there was an indication on the RSS feed when there is a “more, more” link and/or the actual text listed there as I prefer to read on Bloglines rather than have to click over to SBTB.

And I really wish the searching for reviews by author was smarter, though it has been about 3 months since I tried.  Basically I just want each author listed seperately in someway versus the trying to scan through the random entries that fall under the same last name spread.

Stop dissenting, or stop not dissenting?
Stop both, since I’m bad at both! I’ve been kicking myself for criticizing the name of a site I enjoy so much. Although I feel a bit better since the very smart Robin said she partly agreed with me.

Keep doing what you’re doing, Candy, and never mind dissenters.

Lilith: anyone named Lilith can give me head-nuggies any time she wants. And if that’s not good enough repayment for me calling you bitch, you can call me a cunt any time you like.

Okay, now I’m off to find pix of Lilith on the web. Lilith Saintcrow . . . names don’t get much hotter.