Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

I *know* this! V.C. Andrews.

Oooh, even better—what if the uncle was a sheik, too?!?!

An English Lord who had turned himself into a sheik! And who was also a cowboy - in Texas!

Although he used to be a Navy SEAL.

An English lord turned sheik who is also a cowboy from Texas and who is also a vampire seeking his destined lifemate!

Secret Uncle Baby Sheik Surgeon!

It’s like Doogie Howser, M.D. only he’s a orphan that does not know he has an Uncle Sheik anyway his girlfriend runs off and he does not know she is preggers…

English born lord turned pirate turned Sheik tycoon. He is her long lost uncle feared dead in a shipwreck. One meets the other, naughtyness commences, and Oops, Bob’s your uncle!

Too much, or am I forgetting parts?

But it’s not his niece he’s with - it’s his nephew, a 17-year-old divinity student who under moonlight turns into a were-iguana.

Charlene, I needed a break from overdue paperwork and the were-iguana hit the spot. Lordy.

You know, I think I read some of those books back in the 70’s…

John Updike.

And he has a secret baby to prove it.

I cheated and looked it up on Google.  When I saw who it was I was like, “Of course, it’s her!”

Seriously, who else could it be?

It hurts to laugh that hard.

How scary is it that I knew the answer right away?  VC Andrews, in a true confessions mag.

Lisa

A were-iguana?  Oh, Charlene the imagery on that one is just priceless!

I’m… it… but… cuz…

WERE IGUANA??

I have that song Mexican Radio running through my head now and it’s…

no… NO!… NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MIND BLEACH MIND BLEACH ARGH ARGH!!!

She wants mind bleach and I think “Mexican Radio?  I’ll have to look that up.” I might have problems.

Ha! Of *course* it’s ol’ V.C. Andrews! That Flowers in the Attic reference Marc made on Ugly Betty last week had me laughing for two days. (I’m easily amused.)

(Oh, for those of you who didn’t see it: Amanda, having just found out that the late Fey Sommers was her biological mother, was worried that Bradford Meade could be her biological father, thereby making all of those times Amanda slept with Bradford’s son Daniel totally incest. Marc warned her to not get “all Flowers in the Attic” and then admitted that incestuous!Amanda/Daniel was kind of hot.)

Spamblocker is married46! EEEEEEEK!

I dunno, but I hope Charlene writes that novel so I can enjoy more of it!

And just imagine the cover art…

I wish I was in Tiii-- a-- juana
Eating barbequed iii- guaaaa- na

(Mexican Radio)

V.C. Andrews wrote “I Slept with My Uncle on My Wedding Night”.  I know this because it was I who researched her and wrote up most of her biographical info on Wikipedia, because up until then there was nothing but information on her novels.  I am not ashamed to admit this.

Okay, so I totally am . . .

. . . now I want to write a novel about a were-iguana.

Tidbit for you sf readers out there-Connie Willis-yes,THAT Connie Willis-also got her start writing those. Some of her favorites include-"I called for help on my CB, and I called a rapist” and the classic “While my husband and kids were praying in church, i was praying that I wouldn’t get caught.”