Fabio.UrbanFiction.AndHarlequin.

by SB Sarah Monday, March 10, 2008 at 10:25 AM

You all know why I am linking to this page. Yes, because I am all about Star Jones.

Wait, no, no I am not. She scares the shit out of me. If I was at one end of a dark alley and she were at the other, nothing except Chuck Norris on my right would compel me to walk into the alley. Wait, do alleys have two ends? Or is an alley really a dead-end concept? Either way, it’s not Star Jones or Paula Abdul I’m linking to.

It’s this:

The Fabio versus George Clooney fight may finally be over, as gorgeous George admits potential defeat. It all started last November when the two men shared some choice words at a Beverly Hills restaurant. Later Fabio told Details magazine, “(George) laid a hand on me, so it would have been self-defense if I had beaten him down.” The 6-foot-3, 230-pound romance cover boy insisted, “I could have f---ed him up. Oh my god, I could have beaten the s--t out of him.” In the upcoming issue of Esquire, George responds. “Yeah, that’s probably true.” He said, “(Fabio’s) a big guy. There is a moment when you are actually in the argument and you’re thinking, ‘If I do get beaten down by Fabio, that will be far worse than the pain. I wouldn’t shake that.’”

Graceful curtsey to Diane for the link.

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Picture of Victoria Dahl Victoria Dahl said on...
03.10.08 at 10:50 AM |

Because I am embarrassingly proud of my man-titty photoshopping skillz, I just have to post my homage to the Fabio/Clooney chicken fight. I hope this link works…

Photobucket

Picture of Ocy Ocy said on...
03.10.08 at 11:26 AM |

You know, that’s actually a pretty classy response from George.  Sounds like he’s laughing at himself and the situation in general.

my word: serious39.  The spam filter is a person, isn’t it?  One with his or her own bizarre sense of humour.

Picture of RSewie RSewie said on...
03.10.08 at 11:43 AM |

OMG Victoria!  I’m jealous!  You got mad SKILLZ, gurl! Srsly!

That pic made me snort my sweet tea!

I’m glad their drama is over.  I’m also happy for Star Jones.  Srsly...keeping a man for 3 years must have been difficult for her (although it sounds like he was only in it for the money).  I’m happy UF is making inroads into romance...so long as it steadily improves the pool of great writers I have to read from.  And lastly, I’m happy for the conglom that is Harlequin, even though it frightens me beyond belief.

I avoid Harlequin, although I’m sure I read books published by them (I don’t read the little Harlequin Presents, though...they’re just way too short), because they’re just SUCH a symbol of the old-school bon-bon eating housewife stereotype to me. 

Am I the only one?  According to my spamword, there is evidence to the contrary...evidence59.

Picture of Victoria Dahl Victoria Dahl said on...
03.10.08 at 11:56 AM |

RSewie, I’d be even more impressed with myself if I’d remembered to photoshop water into the space under Fabio’s arms. Ah, well. Despite my skillz, I am a mere mortal. The Clooney nipplz distracted me, I think.

Picture of RStewie RStewie said on...
03.10.08 at 11:57 AM |

S’ok, though!  I thought they were leaning on a rock or something on the beach.

Damn distracting man-titties!

Picture of Denni said on...
03.10.08 at 12:51 PM |

Victoria...wow, thanks for sharing those mad skills.  I can’t figure out how to instert a pic, much less phototshop one.

RSewie...so relieved to know I’m not the only reader who finds Harlequin scary.

Picture of Charlene said on...
03.10.08 at 01:42 PM |

So Big Gay Al got caught?

Picture of Wry Hag Wry Hag said on...
03.10.08 at 02:11 PM |

Slick, Vic!  So lucky for me I can’t afford Photoshop.  A toy that much fun is bound to disrupt work and sleep patterns...big time.

Picture of ilona andrews ilona andrews said on...
03.10.08 at 02:56 PM |

Thank you so much for mentioning me and RT shindig!

Victoria: Oh.  Dear.  God.

Picture of Sandra D said on...
03.10.08 at 02:58 PM |

On a vaguely related note, has anyone been to HQ HQ? I was wondering if they have a factory outlet type store there, where you can buy back issues that didn’t sell for cheap or something, cuz I am highly broke.

spamfilter: zebra23 wait, I didn’t know Zebra was a HQ line too? Do they own EVERYBODY?

Picture of Kate Hewitt Kate Hewitt said on...
03.10.08 at 03:01 PM |

Well, I write for Harlequin (yes, even Harlequin Presents!) and the Romance Report bewilders me. It’s so glossy and big and pretty looking, and I don’t even get what it’s for. The first time I received one I was expecting sale figures and market news, not ‘What’s Hot and What’s Not’ about sex and romance. It looks like it costs quite a bit of money to put out, so its purpose must have been researched and documented as being useful… I guess.

Kate

Picture of Victoria Dahl Victoria Dahl said on...
03.10.08 at 03:05 PM |

Nope, Zebra is Kensington, the last big, independent NY publisher.

Picture of Abby Abby said on...
03.10.08 at 03:11 PM |

Sigh. A self-deprecating sense of humor. While Fabio sounds like an eight-year-old.

I heart Clooney.

Picture of jocelynnesimone said on...
03.10.08 at 03:24 PM |

Victoria… all that man-titty and George Clooney’s nipples definitely distracted me from the lack of under-Fabio-water.  I didn’t notice it until you mentioned it.  The photo is brilliant.  I am still hyperventilating from laughter. Thank you for sharing it!

Picture of Victoria Dahl Victoria Dahl said on...
03.10.08 at 04:06 PM |

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who’s a complete sucker for self-deprecation.  A completely normal man can become an irresistible sexual being to me with just the right amount of self-deprecating humor. Mmm.

Wry Hag, YES… stay away from the Photoshop! You wouldn’t believe how much time that sucked out of my life, though it was all fun. I’m currently trying to resist the urge to Photoshop Fareed Zakaria into some hot Pasha garb. Rowr!

Thank you, SB Sarah, for giving me a place to share my wasted time with the world!!!

Picture of SusanA said on...
03.10.08 at 04:21 PM |

I was weaned on Harlequin/M&B, but so few of their books call to me, you begin to wonder if these surveys scew the themes to their books and as only those willing to respond must be slightly… I can’t think of a polite way to say it, is this the underlying reason for the quality of the house’s books.

Also SB Sarah, thanks to you and Candy for the lovely blog, and I get left and right mixed up all the time, but if something is far far left and far far down in the “NY Magazine Approval Ratings” wouldn’t it be despicable and lowbrow?

word shall92: shall read my way through the next 92 comments? Only if I get no sleep.

Picture of Teddypig Teddypig said on...
03.10.08 at 05:38 PM |

Oh come on! Sheik ur booty.

You know you want to be George Clooney’s secret baby… I mean, Secret Sarah.

Picture of E. Ann Bardawill E. Ann Bardawill said on...
03.10.08 at 05:53 PM |

George…

Grab his flowing locks.
Give one good yank forward while you deliver a solid upperpunch to the nose and then a couple of kidney shots to finish him off

Viola.
Fabio’s is your bitch.

Worked for me in the fifth grade against Douglas Spensor.
The little creep.

Picture of Miri Miri said on...
03.10.08 at 08:10 PM |

I was just at the HQ confessions site.
It’s sad, not spicy.  I need a shower now. (not in a good way)
Though, damn, I wish I read spanish!

Picture of Nora Roberts said on...
03.11.08 at 02:40 AM |

Victoria, I bow to you!

Jeez, you ought to send that to Clooney. I bet he’d laugh his suave and classy ass off.

Picture of Sandra D said on...
03.11.08 at 05:36 AM |

Victoria the Fug Girls at gofugyourself.com are HUGE Clooney fans and I bet they’d love to have that pic too.

Picture of spinsterwitch spinsterwitch said on...
03.11.08 at 07:04 AM |

I’m with Kate...the HQ Report is very confusing.  Is it a magazine, is it an actual report?  It seems like it’s trying to be something of a newsletter about the HQ reading community, but wouldn’t there be a better name for it?  Although, as we’ve seen with cover snarks, titles have never really been HQ’s strong point.  Maybe we should make some gentle suggestions for a different title.

Picture of Victoria Dahl Victoria Dahl said on...
03.11.08 at 07:05 AM |

Victoria, I bow to you!

Gah! Nora, can I put that on my next book? ROFL

Thanks, everyone. You’ve all made the wasted hours worth it.

Btw, after all the copyright issues, does anyone know if this constitutes fair use? Not that anyone on the web seems to care much about this stuff these days, but I bet there are some experts here.

Picture of Victoria Dahl Victoria Dahl said on...
03.11.08 at 07:08 AM |

Btw, after all the copyright issues, does anyone know if this constitutes fair use?

Er, I meant the Photoshopped pic, NOT stealing Nora’s props for my own nefarious purposes.

Picture of fiveandfour fiveandfour said on...
03.11.08 at 07:52 AM |

Aaaannd Clooney wins my heart once again.  Damn the man for being so self-depracating and charming.

Picture of Roslyn Holcomb Roslyn Holcomb said on...
03.11.08 at 08:32 AM |

God Clooney is a class act, and funny as all get out. Fabio? Not so much.

Always 84? I hop the hell not!

Picture of --E --E said on...
03.11.08 at 08:59 PM |

Victoria--brilliant!

And on the subject of Lindsay Lohan singing… I have no idea how much of the recording is improved in the studio engineering, but she did a song for the remake of Freaky Friday that I lurve. Yes, I confess, I like a Lindsay Lohan song! ::shame::

Come on, the studio hired really good songwriters and studio musicians. I’m not digging it for the singer.

Picture of Jenyfer Matthews Jenyfer Matthews said on...
03.12.08 at 02:56 AM |

Love love love the picture, Victoria!

Picture of Tina said on...
03.12.08 at 08:01 PM |

I heart George Clooney, too!  I just read some more excerpts from his Esquire interview.  I can’t decide which of these three are my favorites:

In the April issue of Esquire, the debonair A-lister gamely agrees to a Google search session to check out a few of the rumors circulating about him.

One of the items that pops up is a Facebook group headlined, “George Clooney is NOT the sexiest man alive,” which solicits members by declaring, “That man is so full of himself it isn’t funny. Anyways join this group if you totally agree with me.”

Clooney, who is out stumping for his forthcoming football flick “Leatherheads,” responds by having the interviewer post the following comment: “That’s bulls**t. He looks great for a 70-year-old.”

Especially since he’s keeping a spot in his heart open for buddy Brad Pitt (given the right conditions, of course): “Well, you know, if I was a girl and he was a girl, and I was a lesbian and he was a lesbian, I’d be all over him.”

or

As for Rupert Everett declaring the “Ocean’s” film franchise a “cancer to world culture,” Clooney wonders, “Where did that come from? You kind of go, Dude, weren’t you in ‘Dunston Checks In’?”

You can see the whole blurb (not the interview) at http://entertainment.msn.com/movies/hotgossip/3-10-08_3

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