Happy Sixth Anniversary, All You Smart Bitches!

Today marks the Sixth Anniversary of this here hot pink website. Our first review was posted January 30, 2005 – a review of Sharon Shinn’s Angel-Seeker. Wow, huh? I’m sort of shocked and amazed and ready to party!

The official gifts of the Sixth Anniversary are… wait, don’t have anything liquid in your mouth, ok? … iron, candy, and WOOD.

Oh, this is going to be fun. It’s giveaway time! To celebrate our sixth anniversary, I’m giving away the following prizes:

Book Cover Book Cover Book Cover image

That’s 4lbs of chocolate covered cherries, an iron, a 5lb bag of wood, and a Hello Kitty vibrator (a much better substitute for the wood, because it’s woody-like).

All you have to do is leave a comment and tell me six things you love about reading romance novels, and you’re entered to win. Standard disclaimers apply. Void where prohibited by law. I ship internationally when possible. Take your shoes off. Wash your hands. Any resemblance to iron wood made of candy is completely coincidental. No chocolate was harmed in the creation of this contest.

You have 48 hours to leave a comment, and I’ll select the winners at random. I know you all want that iron, right? RIGHT? Right. Of course!

Happy Sixth Anniversary to us – thank you for being here to make the site as fun and fantastic as it is. I’m so glad to know you visit every day to talk romance, man titty, and general mayhem.

Comments are Closed

  1. emily says:

    I actually do need a new iron, as sad as it may be…
    Hmm, 6 things: HEAs, escape from my own boring life, happy fuzzy feelings when things work out in the story (does this count under HEA?), the variety of genres available underneath the romance umbrella, added perspective on non-rom genres, finding another author I like and the associated backlist.

  2. wendy says:

    (1) The ability to totally immerse myself into another era/world/location without having to get out of my jammies or off the couch (2) Unlike television or movies, the ugly duckling/bluestocking/nerd can reinvent themselves and catch the hot guy (3) Variety – from sweet and pure to hot and heavy (4) Discovering ‘new to me’ authors that instantly become my favs and must have everything and anything they wrote (5) The covers – I can admit that sometimes just a cover can sell me a book (6) The men – enough said…

  3. Ell says:

    6 things…. growing connection, sweet sex, nesting (in some novels), cool best friends, hot sex, cool h/h, hot h/h, HEAs, when they aren’t idiots, exotic places, etc.

  4. Trippinoutmysoul says:

    1) A garunteed HEA
    2) I’ll admit to having implemented some…techniques…I’ve found in romance novels into the bedroom!
    3) All the different Heroes actually help me understand my husband better- an unexpected foray into even a ficticious male psyche can be insightful
    4) Romance novels led me to the Bitchery!
    5) All the different time periods that are covered, but you still don’t feel lost because with a romance, you know indirectly how it will end
    6) Romance, for me, is a perfect cleansing-of-the-palate if I’ve been reading something heavy or dark

  5. Alexys Rains says:

    1) Connecting with the characters and becoming part of their lives.
    2) Simply imagining that after all of the alpha-male shite that goes on there’s still a caring man in the world of Romance (ha!)
    3) Awesome covers that make people uncomfortable when they see them in public
    4) The sex everyone dreams about but can really only find in great a romance novel
    5)Getting away from real life of school, work, and family and going to a place that you never could have imagined.
    6) After reading all of these romance novels, discussing them with all of you lovely, lovely people.

  6. kimsmith says:

    Only six things?

    1.  Strong women.
    2.  Smart women.
    3.  Men who love strong, smart women.
    4.  The idea of sex for the woman’s pleasure.
    5.  Unappologetically evolving from what men thought women wanted to read (back in the day when we were told to desire marriage, children, and Alphole Heroes) to being an industry actually based on what women want to read and marketing to it (which, while not excluding those old ideas, embraced ideas such as relationships not based on desiring marriage, children, or Alpholes of any kind).
    6.  Never having to say you’re sorry for loving an Old Skool romance, even if you’re all liberated ‘n stuff.

  7. ijinx says:

    these are in no particular order, off the top of my head.

    1. I love it that I can read romance novels and then talk about them with friends.
    2. the cover- the embarrassment of the people around me when they see me reading the book on the tube (that’s why I still don’t own an e-book reader! but a friend said she would make me an extra-cheesy cover if I ever buy one. win!)
    3. the amount of research that goes into writing good historical romance awes me
    4. the story – love, sex, conflict, humour
    5. alpha dudes having to work to get the girl because of love
    6. HEA

  8. Sally says:

    Yay! Happy 6th anniversary! 🙂

    1. Love the HEA
    2. A way to escape reality
    3. The romance community—so awesome
    4. Being transported to a different time/setting
    5. If not for romance novels, I probably won’t voluntary read books
    6. They make me feel fuzzy inside~

  9. henofthewoods says:

    1. twoo wuv – silliness
    2. catharsis
    3. good dresses
    4. adventure
    5. exploring reality through fiction
    6. connection with other people,  both the people within the story and me connecting to the author

  10. Donna Sutherland says:

    1) Its like having a good friend with you and only you know all her juicy details! 
    2) Takes me to a happier place in my head no matter what kind of day I am having.
    3) Its like a relationship.  I make an emotional bond with each book. 
    4) The trashier the book the happier “bitch” I seem to be!
    5) Its a fantasy of mine….. to have a (hot sexy) man (with perfect muscles) that knows when to take charge (and when to be quite and read my mind and still think I am the most amazing, beautiful woman in the entire world)….oops!
    6) I envision myself being the main charactor and I can “cheat” on my boyfriend without actually going out and cheating on him.  Satisfaction every time with a smile baby…. win win!!!

  11. EbonyMcKenna says:

    Oh, what a shame. Australia’s strict quarantine laws forbid food and timber imports so I can’t enter . . .

    not that I’m too chicken to enter to win a hello kitty candle. It is a candle, isn’t it?????

    Gee that iron looks nice, my husband would love it. (He does all his own ironing).

    Good luck everyone 😀

  12. Carmie says:

    1.) the HEA. they always fall in love. no matter what has happened or didn’t happen, twoow wuve always prevails
    2.) the escape, i get sucked into it. reading those stories is like watching a movie for me, only i’m the director.
    3.) the fact that no matter what goes wrong it always fixes it-self by the end of the book.
    4.) i know it’s already been said but the covers. i love the look on my brother-in-law’s face when he sees the covers of my books. so scandalized. Priceless. lol
    5.) i love when the guy makes an ass of him-self, then later has to dig back out of the hole he’s jumped into.

    6.) the amazing sex! can’t forget that.

  13. Faellie says:

    Reading romance gives me –
    1) something I share with women around the world (eg see http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12112421)
    2) excellent storytelling,
    3) vicarious thrills,
    4) the fuzzy warm comfort feeling of a happy ever after,
    5) a refuge from the world, and
    6) chocolate-covered cherries (I’ve never had them, but now I’ve read Zero at the Bone I have to put that right, right?).

  14. Jasmine says:

    1. The guaranteed happy ending. I have the bad bad habit of reading the ending as soon as the story gets good, and I never need to do that with romance novels as the ending is always more or less predictable (i.e. hero(ine) gets hero(ine))
    2. Escapism (from papers etc I should be writing)
    3. I’m pretty sure romance novels have prepared me for almost anything I have/might encounter(ed) in my sex life.
    4. The covers. I love the contrast on my bookshelves with more serious works.
    5. Romance novels seriously made my high school life much more fun. When I was not reading the books themselves, I used to spend hours drawing romance novel cover-like things during classes/study time on my strict boarding school when bored. And the times spend with my best friend browsing for more reading material on the wednesday afternoons when we were allowed to leave the schoolgrounds were rather awesome too.
    6. They improved my English a lot. I used to suck at foreign languages, but when I started reading in English (mostly RN) English became my best subject in a rather short time.

  15. Elizabeth Smith says:

    1. Hea—i hate investing myself in a character and story only to be miserable at the end
    2. Kickass strong chicks in the paranormals especially
    3. Making fun of the silly covers
    4. Admiring the really good covers
    5. Something to enjoy on the train to work
    6. Literature I enjoy for its own sake, not because I am trying to better myself or impress people.

  16. Danielle D says:

    Happy Anniversery!

    Reading romance——

    1.  Takes to places I can only read about
    2.  Everyone has a HEA
    3.  The men are all hunks
    4.  Love reading about the past
    5.  Sex
    6.  Sexy Covers!

  17. Happy anniversary!

    Six things I love about romance:

    1. The chance to live vicariously in another era (I’m partial to historicals), but without the inconveniences.
    2. The heroes are hot.
    3. The bad guys usually get what’s coming to them.
    4. HEA
    5. The chance to relive the breathless feeling of falling in love.
    6. Delicious love scenes.

  18. Amitatuq says:

    1.  Happy endings (I will throw books and or blacklist an author if someone dies who’s not supposed to)

    2. When something emotional happens, and you get that twinge in your own chest.

    3. Women who have flaws, but the hero loves them just as they are.

    4. Flawed heros who are still the epitomy of hot (not just in a physical sense).

    5.  Escapism

    6. What’s not to love??

  19. Monica says:

    I love that you’re giving away wood. Oh also the vibrator! haha.

    6 things.

    1. Sweet sexual tension
    2. Strong women and men dead set on not marrying
    3. Men who are transformed into mushy fellows because of the strong women 🙂
    4. Being able to feel like you’re living through a different place/time/universe and falling in love there
    5. Definitely the sex, whether its between humans, or mermaids(yes i’ve read some…dont judge!)
    6. The happyily ever afters. Having the satisfaction of knowing they belong together and they now are happy.

  20. Kim says:

    Six things:
    1.  Learning about different historical periods (I knew nothing about Regency England before!)
    2.  Escapist fantasy!
    3.  Realistic character development.
    4.  I actually like series involving related characters, and it’s hard to find that anywhere else (other than mysteries, which can be more realistic.  I mean, c’mon, how many people stumble over 15 murders in their lifetime?)
    5.  There are so many different genres that I can switch things up and not get bored.
    6.  It always works out in the end 🙂

  21. I don’t have any need for the lurrrve™ly prizes, but HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BITCHES!

  22. Laurel says:

    Happy Anniversary and many happy returns!

  23. Sally says:

    6 things I love about romance novels:

    1. When reading historicals I have learned so much history! Which is helpful in armchair participation of Jeopardy and Cash Cab.
    2. I love reading about characters who make stupid decisions that I’m too scared to make IRL.
    3. I love reading about people who get it right in their relationships because so many times I didn’t.
    4. I love rooting for someone because sometimes people around you don’t seem very rootable.
    5. When I read romance novels, I’m nicer to my hubby and kidlets.
    6. I love happy endings, in every sense of the term. Woot!

  24. Andieg says:

    Hmmm….only 6 things?  But there’s so much to love about romance novels.  How can we choose? 

    Well, I’ll give it a shot. 

    1)Wuv…twoo wuv!
    2) reading about smart, handsome, funny, gainefully employed (and/or independently wealthy) men who are also sincere, loving, committed (but in a good way!) and able to see & love the heroine’s inner beauty.
    3) Being swept away to other worlds or our world they way I wish it was.
    4)  Smart, funny, loving, gainefully employed (or wealthy), average looking women who are able to capture the heart of an “unattainable” man by virture of her kick ass personality, brain and emotions
    5) Reliving all the chaotic/fun/scary/funny moments of a new romantic relationship without having to go through any of it myself.
    6) Experiencing vicariously the kind of sexual escapades that rarely if ever actually happen in real life (Hello multiple simultaneous orgasms or the never ending woody!) but sound like an awful lot of fun.

  25. KatherineB says:

    1. Found the Bitchery through looking for a review, which led to many laughs and good times, and subjecting the husband to out-loud readings of funny reviews…
    2. The way I can dial a romance to my mental requirement – I don’t want to THINK, early 80’s supermarket Harlequin category it is. I want history, I can choose an era. I want alpha, or tough women, easy peasey.
    3. The thrill of a perfect moment – doesn’t happen every book, but it does come – when your breath catches in your throat from emotion.
    4. The deep deep satisfaction of conflict resolution, or HEA. There are so many roads to take to it, and I like wandering the paths.
    5. Heroines with purple eyes. Or silver hair. Absurdities which make me laugh, like impossible sex positions, research inexpertly applied, clunky dialogue which provokes howls from the husband when I read them out.
    6. Characters. My hero of many faces, sizes, temperaments, sweeping me and the heroine away to better places. Heroines tall and short, plump and willowy, who show the dastardly rakes and I the light. Healing wounds, donning disguises, duelling, raising the roof, making out and finding love – in locales familiar and exotic. The characters bring me in and keep me, until I know FOR CERTAIN what will happen. Even though I KNOW romances are happy endings.

  26. Diva says:

    1.  The comfort of knowing everything will work out happily by the last page.

    2.  The humor (both intentional and unintentional)

    3.  The power of a strong, whipsmart woman to land what is usually the hottest man on the planet. (hello, grownup fairy tale)

    4.  The glamour. IRL, i *never* get to wear ball gowns or jet off to Europe.

    5.  Getting SBTB’s take on whatever book I just read.

    6.  Enjoying romance w/o stigma now that my nook replaces the mantitty covers I used to try to hide.

    wrote73:  In the time it took me to come up with my list of six, Danielle Steel wrote at least 73 novels about a woman starting over after her marriage fails.

  27. Amy S. says:

    1. Reading is fun
    2. Books take me to different places.
    3. I can read different worlds that the author creates.
    4. Vampires, Wolves, and bears, oh my (paranormals)
    5. One minute I can be at home and the next in Australia or Scotland.
    6. The HEAs, got to have those.

    Happy Anniversary!

  28. Merrian says:

    Six things I love about reading romance:
    1. That in the end romances are stories of hope
    2. That in the end the lives of the hero and heroine are richer than when they were alone/before
    3. That along the way there is lots of good, guilt free, safe sex
    4. That world changing, inter-species love happens; showing that we are all worthy of being loved and our love matters no matter who or what we are
    5. Passion matters
    6. How talking to each other solves problems

    Happy anniversary SB Candy and SB Sarah!

  29. Mama Nice says:

    That has to be the oddest prize combination my eyes have ever beheld. That’s awesome! Congratulations on 6 wonderful years 🙂

    On to the RRR: (Reasons I Read Romance)

    1. The developing relationship – I enjoy going for the ride along with the characters as they struggle to achieve their HEA.
    2. The HEA – few things in life can be guaranteed like the HEA of a Romance Novel – that is comforting. And while I’m down with authors who serve up untraditional HEAs (as in: marriage is not the ending and a house full of kids is not the epilogue) I feel cheated and misled if I read a “romance” that does not end with some kind of HEA for the main characters.
    3. Since my early teens I have been a sucker for a good historical – I love all the descriptions and details of clothes, daily routines, celebrations, courting rituals, etc. Especially when it is woven into the story deftly and not pages of awkward info dumps. You also better do your homework, it is hard for me to keep my head in a story with glaring anachronisms.
    4. Great dialogue & wit: when a conversation / argument can have me cackling with laughter; that author has done her job and then some.
    5. I love the fish out of water stories: those paranormal romances that have some long ago warrior freaking out in a 21st century car? Love ‘em – even if I have to remind myself that in reality, he’d have nasty teeth, pathetic hygiene and abhorrent ideas about the treatment of women.
    6. The Sex. There, I said it – a well written sex scene is a joy to read. And yes, skipping to the naughty bits in my mom’s romances when I was around 12 is how I got started, then I actually started reading the pages between the sex scenes and realized these books were good in and of themselves!

  30. Flo says:

    1. The wonderfully cheesy lines
    2. Over the top Alpha males
    3. TSTL heroines!
    4. The descriptions… oh god the descriptions!
    5.The “fits into all genres” factor
    6. The COVERS yes yes COVERS!

  31. Ann Rose says:

    1. Getting to “watch” vicariously as a couple gets to know each other
    2. Learning a little about careers/jobs I will never have (like stained glass artist or Navy SEAL)
    3. Getting to choose an exotic or familiar setting every time I pick up a book.
    4. Living out a fantasy of the handsome stranger sweeping me away and my saying just the right sassy thing at the perfect moment.
    5. Participating in the community of Smart Bitches.
    6. Good is rewarded and evil is punished.

    Happy 6th anniversary, Smart Bitches. I hope you’ll be around for the magical 25th!

  32. DiscoDollyDeb says:

    First of all, congratulations on six wonderful years of bitchery and keep up the good work!  Now my list:

    1.  Because I’m a “woman of a certain age,” I love the fact that I’ve witnessed and participated in the evolution of romance novels from the early days of gothic/mills&boon;/harlequin to today’s multi-genre umbrella called “romance.”

    2.  Re-reading favorites over and over—and experiencing the roller-coaster of emotions again, even though I know all will be resolved and the HEA is still going to be there.

    3.  Learning about historical eras/incidents with which I’m unfamiliar.  I love learning something new about, say, the great fire of London (1666), while enjoying a romance novel.

    4.  Being aware that not every book is going to be a keeper (or even a finisher) and accepting that it’s OK not to like a book that others have raved about (or, conversely, liking a book that others have hated).

    5.  Having reached a point in my life that I don’t care if the covers are garish & trashy, if I want to read the book in public, I will.

    6.  Reading (and getting reading suggestions from) the multitude of romance blogs available on the intertubes—first and foremost, this one right here.

  33. Diane says:

    1. Georgette Heyer
    2.  Heroes – alpha, beta, hunky, whatever
    3.  Heroines with brains
    4.  Humor
    5. 1001 euphemisms for genitalia
    6. Authors who research their time period, enabling me to win multiple trivia contests.

  34. Barbara W. says:

    Happy, happy 6th!  I can’t even say, happy 6th Bitches, it sounds so wrong.  🙂  My 6 favorite things:

    1. They give me a place to go where I know the object of the story is that a couple of people are going to fall in love – happiness is guaranteed at some point.

    2. I get to leave whatever place I’m at, whether it’s good or bad, and and live in someone else’s shoes for a while.  I get to wear new clothes, have a new job, new hair – all fun stuff and if I don’t like it, it’s temporary anyway.

    3. When I’m having a super-crap day, I get to choose if I’m in the mood to be a wench stowing away on a pirate ship or a mousy secretary involved in a torrid affair with my British boss or whatever.  I get to pick my poison with a romance novel and go wherever I want to and to hell with whatever ticked me off that day.

    4. When was the last time a guy who lived forever thought I was the most gorgeous thing on the planet, wanted to bite me, spank me, have sex with me until I was unconscious and was willing to do whatever it took to keep me for eternity because we were fated to be lifemates?  Well, since last Thursday?

    5. Women who have it all, can do it all, because it’s pure escapist fun.  What’s not to love about a brilliant crime-fighter who happens to be absolutely drop-dead gorgeous and rich as sin (not necessarily talking only about Eve, Mallory from Carol O’Connoll’s series, while not generally romance is the same way – LOVE her).

    6. Hot monkey sex between two characters who really like each other and an HEA.  Can’t get better than that.  Unless you toss in an exquisite grovel scene.

  35. Peggy says:

    The romance
    Having something to go along with bubble baths and champagne
    Indulging in reading that doesn’t involve thinking too much
    Never running out of something to read
    Getting turned on
    SEX

    There 6 things

  36. Gail says:

    1. Happy Ever Afters
    2. Heroines who are smart and effective.
    3. Heroes
    4. Sex
    5. Humor
    6. The knowledge that I support the only genre dominated in both authorship and readership by women.

  37. Carin says:

    1. The HEA
    2. Sex without shame (and it’s GREAT sex)
    3. The romance!  (with the guaranteed HEA)
    4. the escape of it
    5. How finishing a book leaves me with a book high (because of the HEA)
    6. The fantasy

  38. Joanne Levy says:

    Happy Anniversary!  Here’s to many, many more!

    1. The escape from my everyday drudgery
    2. Alphas
    3. Alphas with rock-hard abs
    4. Sexual tension – remembering what it was like falling in lust/love with that special person
    5. Matching wits with that special person – nothing better than funny banter
    6. Passion – that gotta have it, bone marrow melting sex

  39. 1.  A kick in libido department.
    2.  Sympathetic heroines who make me want to be more compassionate, more altruistic.
    3.  A respite from ironing.
    4.  A good laugh (esp. SEP and Cruisie).
    5.  A substitute for chocolate.
    6.  The last thought in my head when I turn off the lights.

  40. Tina C. says:

    Happy Anniversary!

    1) The happy ending

    2) The satisfying feeling of reading a really good one

    3) The different genres

    4) Finding a really good, new or new-to-me author

    5) The sex

    6) Finding this place because of them

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