Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

(BTW, the juxtaposition of the entry with the ad for a title including the word “Moon” bought out my inner 12-year-old.)

OK, brainstorming:

Don’t Make the Bed
Tangled Sheets
Undressing
Rocking & Rolling
Plump and Juicy
All Night Long

Lush Lickable Lady Lips

Turn the Other Cheek

Big Booties Duet Better (*snickers* Just had to add some music humor)
Going Low and Getting Some
Hot and Wanting

I will have to think on this some more.

Let’s think about our target audience. . .

Packing Heavy Heat
Too Much Man!
Big All Over
Who’s Your Daddy

And to finish off, I leave you with a couple pornographic LOLDUDEs:

OH HAI IM IN UR SHOWER LAUNCHING MAI SUBMARINE!!

too small pants DO NOT WANT!!

Total Asshole (featuring an anti-hero)
Sweet and Sour Wanton (what? No, I don’t know either, but it probably involves a Chinese restaurant)
Measuring Up

Big Moons Rising
Tight Naughty Tushes (and it’s explosive too.  Get it, TNT...)
Big Hairy Balls
Bountiful Bouncing Bosoms/Boobs (alliteration is always nice)
another variant of the last:
Bodacious Bouncing Boobs

I’m in a humourous mood:

Big Spankable Asses 2: 2 Big 2 Spank

Bigger, Spankable-er Asses

Playing the Southern Bongoes

Convenient Travel-Size Spankable Asses

Smiling Sideways

Beefwhistle Express

Booty Duty

Bounteous, Bounceable Booties

Don’t Ass, Don’t Tell

Riding the Moon Pony

Okay, I’m spent.

I’ve given up suggesting titles to Kensington, ever since they decided to title my next anthology (with Karin Tabke) “Italian Stallions.” No matter how hard I argued, Hilary would not call it “Italian Man Meat,” or my second choice, “Spicy Hard Salami”

And Christina, your LOLdudes made me spew coffee.
oh, and my word verification could be a title too:
much69

Big Bouncy Balls!

Small Bindable Wrists!

Medium-sized Pierceable Nipples!

Red Beans and Rice!  (um, no, I have no idea what that’d mean in an erotica context)

(nation69????? That _would_ be an interesting complement to the National Day of Prayer....)

My faves so far are ‘Sweet and Sour Wanton’ and ‘Beefwhistle Express’ - that last one made me laugh out loud.

Big Spankable Asses 2: The Other Cheek

Bodacious Ta-Tas

Hung Like A Horse

Why Buy The Bull When You Can Get The Horns For Free?

She Wore Mirror Toed Vera Wangs To The Highland Games.

Okay, I know I’ve only recently come out of my lurk-dom, but here goes:

Slingin’ Swingin’ Sweet Meat

Slick, Lick-able Spam Javelins

Bed Snakes and Bouncing Buns

(I also really like Teddypig’s last one above).

Lovely Lady Lumps

Thick Juicy Pork Swords

Hairy Ta-Tas and the One Eyed Trouser Snake

Me and You and A Hooker Named Sue

Large Imposing Milk Jugs

Come Do Me...(w/a pix of nice legs in stilettos)

Twin Revenge..

SadoMass U

Fate’s Finger...or Fingering??

Playful Penes

Wrathful Witches

Gigantic Gigolo

Buckin for a Fuckin

Beast with Two Backs

Long John’s Lust

Longer, Harder, Deeper

Pleasing Pussy

Go Further Faster

I didn’t read the others, hope I’m not too off base…

Noticed I have an alliterative bent though…

SamG

Even Bigger Spankable Asses (with an even smaller ass than the first one on the cover...or a montage of small ass-itude would be great)

Big Spankable Asses 2: The Dark Country

Hard Dicks, Small Minds

We could also go with truth in advertising:
Yes, We’re Trying to Cash In On BDSM

My word is “can15.” I’m not sure if I’m supposed to can something or if Kensington is.

The other entries are great, not sure I have enough to compete, but I had to add:

Pleasure Squeeze

Squeezin’ and Pleasin’

The Lollipop Man (I dunno where it came from, but probably from thinking of something to do with licking...)

Best Undressed

OMG, coffee spew. Sweet and Sour Wanton LOL

I can’t top any of these.

If they decide to branch out, perhaps
Donkey Schlong All Night Long

This Got me thinking and I thought “well what the hell, let’s have a bit of laughable fun!” So here you go:

Fat Bottomed Girls
Bum Dance Boogie
Spank me please
Flash Dance
Lovers Handle
Bodelicious
Moon Shadows

Big Spankable Asses 2:  Drivin’ up the dirt road

Big Spankable Asses 2:  Now with 50% more ass fat!

Not so big spankable asses:  skinny chicks need smacks too

‘Can I has ur sex wee?’

Soft Round Thighs

What Lies Between

Curvilicious

Callipygian

Cheek to Cheek
Hidden Assets
Head to Toe
Head over Heels
Heel to Toe
Bottoms Up

Bountiful Booty
Zaftig Zone
Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’

Tie Me Down and Tame Me (to go with the BDSM theme)

Enormous, Droopy Asses (truth in advertising)

What What in the Butt?

Kensington Soft Porn

We (heart) Abuse

First thing that comes to mind…

Small Suckable Toes

-Lisa

Tiny Pinch-able Buttocks

Okay, I’ll admit, I can’t seem to dodge that EC groove.

* Hearts Aglow, Cheeks Aflame
* Spankin’ and Spunkin’
* Yours Is Bigger Than Mine (or vice versa)
* Glow Hole
* Slap Me Silly
* Liposuction Love
* Access Denied
* Cloak It and Stroke It
* Big, Gold-dripping Bladders
* Malformed, Suckable Toes
* Hernia Heaven
* My Cave or Yours?
* Shave Me Bald, Bubba
* Day Trippers & Nectar Drippers
* Shady Men With Large Penises
* BDSM This!

I could obviously go on for days.  But I’m forcibly going to stop myself now, since nobody else is here to help me out.

Watch...I can do it.

Voluminous Derrieres
Copius Keisters
Big Spankable Asses 2: Spank This!

Hmm, that’s all I got.

Back to Booty
Bringing Spankable Back

Well, we’ve had asses, so it’s time to turn our attention to another female asset:

Large Smothering Titties

Bodacious Bukkake

Taught Ta-Tas and Tain’ts

Spank me, Bind me, Do me

Or, what we actually want ladies:
Average Sized but Dude, Can You WORK IT!

Peach Cheeks
Reaching for the Moon
Kiss and Make it Better
Aim Here
Moon Pie
Make Mine Pink
S.W.A.T. Me, Baby ("Swing Wide and Tight")
Strike Two

I think it’s pretty clear I don’t know what’s going on here, but, hey, I’m game.

Spankable Asses Two: Vibrator Boogaloo

T & A & U

Howling at the Full Moon

These Aren’t Fake

These Ain’t Fake
(for readers south of the Mason-Dixon Line)

Big Asses That Would Really Prefer a Nice Massage With Scented Oil and Maybe Some Romantic Music in the Background

Hot Greasy Lovin’ in my Easy Bake Oven*

*Possible copyright infringement, but what the hell.

Burning Blushing Buns (ouch!)

Considerably Colossal Cocks (I’ll take one…or two)

Deliciously Delectable Derrieres

Needy Nubile Nipples

Voluptuous Virgin Vulvas (my fav.)

I absolutely adore alliteration. Can you tell?

I have nothing to offer but the title of an honest-and-for-true porn-video I once saw: COCKS THE SIZE OF THIS BOX.

OMG. I needed this tonight. But I’m at a loss for words after seeing…
Buckin For A Fuckin

Big Spankable Asses 2: Into the Breach (Breech?)

Big Spankable Asses 2: Bad Moon Rising

Sweet Savage Wet Spot

Thong Tasters

Bootylicious and Delicious

Pleasure Whippers

Booty Treasures

Between the Sex Hole

Tongue Pleasers

Licking Lollipop

Things That Go Rump in the Night
(a paranormal anal love story...)

Rosebud: Citizen Caned
(an erotic re-telling of one man’s love for his ass sled.)

Of Human Bondage
Gone with the Wind
Cakes and Ale
How Green Was My Valley
Call of the Wild
Wuthering Heights
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
The Hunting of the Snark
Heart of Darkness
A Study in Scarlet
The Captain of the Polestar
The Valley of Fear
The Odyssey
Three Men on the Bummel
The Secret of the Night
The Golden Road
The Story of the Treasure Seekers
Black Beauty
The Lair of the White Worm
Gulliver’s Travels
A Journey to the Center of the Earth
Five Weeks in a Balloon
House of Mirth
A Woman of No Importance

...no wait. That would confuse the hell out of librarians everywhere

Lunar Love (moon reference)

Twin Crescents to Climb

Asses so big you can set a teacup on them.

Jenny Craig didn’t work for this ass.

Beep, Beeeeeep I’m backin’ up.

A little what what for the butt butt.

my spaminator word others41.
Yeah I could probably keep going, but I have too much to do today!

Smack dat

Oh wait - I just got another batch:

Big Spankable Asses 2: Big Spanking Hands

Yo, ‘Ho-ho, and a Handful of Bum!

Ass Over Teakettle

Ass.com

Deep-Sea Ass Fishin’

Crack Addiction

Honky-Tonk Ba-donka-donk

Big Steve’s Annual Rump Roast

Southern Exposure

ok one more:

Rubenesque Rubdown

ok now I really am gonna get to work!

Massive Mantitties

Massive Mullets

Massive Mantittied Mullets

Massive Mulleted Mantitties

I think there are actually six books in the series if you include the prequels:

Book 1: The Fanny Menace
Book 2:  Attack Of The Bums
Book 3: Revenge Of The Slit
Book 4: Big, Spankable Asses (later retitled as Kensington’s BDSM Hope)
Book 5: The Derriere Strikes Back
Book 6: Return Of The Tooshie

Apologies to G Lucas lol

Lurker90

I can’t believe my first comment ever will be this list.  But maybe if I share these my mind will stop trying to come up with more.

Busty Bazooms:  Blblblblblb!
Titanic Turgid Tallywhackers
Awesome Choking Manmeat
Craven Creamy Caverns
Cocks of Wonder
Happy Fun Schlongs
Asses Ahoy!
Nipples That Ate Manhattan

And in honor of my verification word, zebra36:  His Wife?  A Horse.

Dickey-Do’s Revenge

Spurned by a bodaciously big-butted beauty because of his bountiful belly, Billy-Bob Bradock at first bemoans his fate over another case of beer. But when that runs out, thoughts of revenge and retaliation ravage his hold on reality.

Soon he’d show sultry Sally Shuttlecock just how sex-savvy a shortly stocked steel-worker can be.

Okay, okay, LOL, I was just supposed to give a title, but I got caught up in the fun of the blurb. I mean, how often do you get to honestly say that writing a blurb was good fun?

Oh!

For those much younger or from a different area of the world, Dickey-Do is a reference to a man with an extremely large gut.

His belly sticks out farther than his Dickey-Do. (wink)

~Pouty Pokeable Pussies
~Buttin’ In, Buttin’ Out
~Belts and Paddles and Whips (Oh My)
~Brand Spankin’ Nude
~Big Spankable Asses 2: Take the Plunge
~Big Spankable Asses 2: You Break It In, You Bought It

Big Spankable Asses 2: You Missed a Spot
Big Spankable Asses 2: You Call That a Spanking?
Big Spankable Asses 2: Asses on Ice!

I would make the sequel a historical and call it Rubenesque Reprimandable Rears.

-Something to Hold On To

- The Bottom-Heavy Club

-All You Can Eat

- Hot and Heavy

-Bountiful Booties

-Ass and You Shall Recieve