Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

I want to bypass the voodoo dolls and go straight to sticking pins in people I don’t like.

But it wouldn’t be reviewers.  Heck, I review books for another site and I know how hard it is to get through something you really don’t want to be reading.  And romance novels aren’t one size fits all, so I accept that maybe, possibly, there might be someone out there who isn’t thrilled by each and every Darlene Marshall novel.

I can live with that, as long as they keep reading and keep getting my name out there.[g]

a hearty agnostic AMEN to that.

I skimmed MJD’s post and being as I loathe her online personalitym I’m not replying there.

Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t the whole PC Cast thing happen here not on Karen S’s blog?

And *I think* the reply she’s so proud of was to me (and possibly one other person) which made absolutely no sense in the first place, because I never ONCE mentioned her GD name.

FFS.

Ego much.

I’m not a huge MJD fan, but I think she has some valid points about that blog- the author should be worshipful of the consumer?  Um, no.  That’s huge ego on the part of the reader. 

Loved Monica’s blog.  I think she’s definitely got the right idea on how to deal with all this crap.

Getting through some suckituditious book is awful.  I didn’t think of that.

What about a reviewer daisy chain wheel?  Each spoke is a chain of reviewers in a particular sub-genre, paranormal romance for instance. 

The book goes to reviewer#1 They pass.  Then it goes on to #2 and so on until somebody actually finishes the book and writes a review.  No author gets a horrendous review (because nobody HAS to read the damn book) but the catch is this--it’s revealed exactly how many reviewers it went through until it settled and a one sentence comment from each! 

That would be sooooooo realistic.  You’d know why they passed on the book.  I couldn’t take the hero’s barbed purple cat penis or boring piece of shit put me to sleep without any forced pseudo-intellectual (the denoument lacked the pathos necessary for this Faustian romp) or revenge-snit reviews (since I can’t take an ax to the bitch who made me read this shite, I’ll shred her book instead).

What if a reader luuurves barbed purple cat penises? 

I’d be a reviewer in a daisy chain since I wouldn’t HAVE to read shitty books, but I still get to make snarky one sentence comments.

What’s goin’ on?

Whatever is this PC Cast thing?  What did you do to her?  She had wonderful book covers. 

Who’s that kil person and why is she so upset?  Does she have some sort of ego issue? 

inquiring minds.

sigh

I replied to the PC Rant post a month ago thusly:

““which I’m not sure I buy”

Me neither.

You can castigate the SBs for putting it up and say you would have edited it if you’d known it was gonna be up there for public consumption all you want, but obviously the sentiment is still there in your mind. Does that make it better?
Ah see? The effin readers aren’t as stupid as you think.”

To which MJ replied :

“Actually, they are.  Because, if you’ll read a few more e-mails down, you’ll see that although I very deliberately kept mum on the subject, people assumed PC’s rant was mine.  “Oh, a writer isn’t rolling over and taking it up the ass like they’re supposed to...that rotten MaryJanice!”
So either the effen readers a) can’t effen read, or b) shouldn’t be allowed to post while learning to read, or c) both.
Either way, PC has every right to be irritated, though I admit to being more sanguine on the topic than she is.  What’s not right is to kick her in the teeth (repeatedly), mix her up with another author (duh!  sig lines much?), then pretend it’s her fault and that she thinks the effen readers are stupid.
So phhhhbbbbbtttttt.
Posted by MaryJanice on 05/14 at 12:00 PM”

I assumed she was replying to ME because she used my “effin” phrase.

My point?  I never mentioned her name.

KIL

As far as I can tell pretty much everyone involved in this non-issue-bitch-slap-down is on the verge of losing their minds. I started following the links and ended up in places I never want to visit again.

But I’d SOOOOOOO buy a SB Candy Voodoo doll (so I could make her an alter of man-titty and booze and pray to her for good review juju). Maybe I’ll create my own . . . I must be able to find some kind of anime action figure that would stand in nicely.

Schyeah, I want pictures of half-naked hunks and chocolate. And nubile young men with four inch tongues on ocassion. That’d be awesome. Get to it!

Oh, man, I love me some Monica Jackson. Bitch crazy… in a good way. She’s my hero.

But I’m still trippin over the PC Cast stuff that kil enlightened me about.  And y’all call me crazy? 

What’s with the effin’?  Is this a white thing like the word “cunt?” Will some SB’s melt if the word fuck is used as an adjective?

That’s what I mean by wimpy white girl shit.

All MJD needed to say was:

You bitches need to leave me the hell alone.  It’s that time of the month and don’t you know that MaryJanice Davidson would love to choke a bitch about now?

Sorry to annoy you, Mon.

Mom smacked the plaque of my teeth for replying “Jesus Christ!” to something she said one time.

Kind of stuck with me.

Fucking god-damned hell, Bitch, I’ll try to get over it.

The next time someone in the horror fiction community slams romance for being sweet and unassuming, I’m going to direct them to this exchange.

hehehe

The next time someone in the horror fiction community slams romance for being sweet and unassuming, I’m going to direct them to this exchange.

Reminds me of my undergrad years at a women’s college . . . our boyfriends or brothers would inevitably get disgusted, upset, grossed out, etc. when surrounded by hundreds of women who couldn’t have cared less that there was a single penis in the room. One of them (a Navy Seal, no less) actually stood up in the middle of a meal and announced, “Women just don’t talk like this!” and stormed out of the cafeteria like some prissy little girl. All the women around us burst into laughter.

Sorry buddy, but most men have NO IDEA what women talk like (or about) cause you only see us when we’re talking to you.

Much like most women (who didn’t grow up with a TON of brothers, or hang out with an almost all male crowd) really have no idea how men talk to one another . . . but that’s another story. LOL!

Okay, haven’t gone to read yet but, uh, it’s Friday and I’m awake and uh, is there going to be an opportunity for a title?  Cause, you know, I’m a serf and all that and I’m not normally awake in time but tada! here I am and um, make it easy.

CindyS (backs out bowing)

After reading Monica’s post and MJD’s blog entry, I’m struck by a couple of things.  First, we all have at least one blind spot, and there’s always going to be someone standing in it, waiting.  We all speak out, we all take a certain chance, and we all have to deal with it the best we can, IMO. 

I also think as women we need to get out of the habit of finding any sort of power in being the biggest victim.  Does it really matter who started what unless someone’s willing to finish it on a different note?  Every time these hostilities re-erupt, I’m reminded of Mark Antony’s classic speech from Julius Caesar.  Things didn’t turn out so well for Brutus OR Antony.

why does all of this fill me with love? I’m serious. I read Monica, and MJD and you guys about the subject and I feel so happy.

Oh and Darlene too: “I want to bypass the voodoo dolls and go straight to sticking pins in people I don’t like.”

Pure love as a response seems so sick.

why does all of this fill me with love? I’m serious. I read Monica, and MJD and you guys about the subject and I feel so happy.

It’s the lemur, Kate.  His eerily humanoid, little old man hands have obviously touched you in a special way today.

CindyS? If those bitches don’t come through, I’ll have an also-ran button of distinction at my blog. Not quite a title but better than um. . .better than something I’ll think of later.

Tomorrow. Come see me.

Kate: Are you mixing up “love” and “schadenfreude” again?

‘Cause I do, sometimes.

no see, if it were schadenfreude, it would be an emotion of glee directed towards those who fell under your sharpened bitchy talons, but heck, I don’t even notice the wounded thousands you all leave writhing and snarling.

Nope, don’t see them at all, I just the black-leather-clad Amazon (like the jungle, not the online store) Warriorwomen who scream their bloody war cries perched on blogs. BEYOTCH, don’t you SCREW WIT MEEEeee. I love those Bombshell (tm) Women

It’s pure lurve, the strictly 100 percent heterosexual variety. Especially for Monica and her dolls. Who couldn’t love those?

{{grin}} $29.99, my babies!  They may look a tad like my daughter’s abandoned Barbies (Bratz are all the rage now), but they will be dipped in voodoo wax seasoned with. . . grave dirt!

Oddly, the best part of reading this whole exchange was the mention of the Unholy Army of Toadies.  Sounds even niftier than my Army of Flying Monkeys!

I do not know what the fuck is going on, but Monica’s post was great, and I want the Whitney on Crack reviewer doll for my birthday.

I’d like to inquire if there are quantity discounts on the voodoo dolls.

Nora

There should be Flush Limpball and Dubya voodoo dolls, too.  I would say Deadeye Dick Cheney, but he has no heart to stick pins in…

Hey Bitchery!
While Monica is backordering your dolls you can get in some pratice with this site: http://www.instantvoodoo.com/default.asp?flash=true&

So many hours of fun to be had!

This here would be my idea of Ultimate Therapy!http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00012FIPO/103-6657276-5134231?v=glance&n=3370831