Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

I’m 57% swedish apparently.  The website played Dancing Queen for me.  I’m not sure what to think about it.

I’m 90% Swedish in bed.  Apparently I have no inhibitions in the bedroom and wish all underwear would be banned, even “on old ladies during winter.” Nice.

I’m 77% Swedish in bed. (And I really am part Swedish!)

For you the naked body is to be used as a medium of expression, like painting or sculpture. Indeed, if you had your way all underwear would be banned, even on old ladies in winter.

My favorite part was “you are making love to your partner and suddenly you notice your cat is staring at you.” So true.

word: big34

enough said.

Take it more than once. You get some different questions.  I took the quiz four times and got 4 different nationalities. LOL French, Tawainese, Russian, and Swedish!

Hur!  I’m ‘78% Brazilian’!  :D

Your bedroom powers are legendary!

I am so loving’ this, already.

Your love technique is an extension of the samba; sensual, athletic, rhythmic, full of meaning and like the samba, it keeps going until daylight or until a neighbour calls the police.

Ah-hhh, nothing like being arrested for having too much fun.

90% Brazilian!!! Not bad for a true european lady :D

69% French… which is a bit upsetting as I *am* British lol

What does it say about me that I don’t care about my nationality in bed so much as sniggering over the Phallological Museum’s clickable link for “Honorary Members”?

79% Italian.  Not at all Italian, but I do enjoy Verdi…

66% Brazilian… but I accidentally skipped the lights on or off question.  I don’t care either way, though.

76% Brazilian! And I didn’t get the cat or the lights on/off questions—the phone question was cute, tho’.

78% Brazilian...I think my stroking it answer to the cat question put me over the top, but it didnt’ mention how said attention-deficit cat would’ve acted sans petting, so maybe I’m a little more staid than originally thought.

OMG, though, thanks so much for the “Hello, Welcome to the KY Passport” vocal at the beginning!!  Good lord, I don’t know who heard that before I could turn the computer down...NSFW, indeed!

spamword: image35...indeed, mine is ruined...or maybe not.  Perhaps I should forward my results?

I saw an article on MSNBC about the phallological museum, and when the article described the place as “part trophy room”, I thought to myself: “So, does this mean that they occasionally decorate the penii with sunglasses, party hats, and paper streamers?”

*dies* And my word is “members99”. Why, yes, I imagine there’s at least 99 members over at that museum…

I’m 55% Italian, which seems a little… inconclusive?  What’s the other 45%?  Maybe I’m a true cosmopolitan.

SB Sarah - I’m only 9% less Taiwanese than you!  I came it at 68%...hmmm.  I have an aunt who is Chinese, so I guess that makes us both tangentially Asian!

90% Italian… which makes me happy since I have a degree in Italian.

… and you periodically set fire to your bed after sex as a sacrifice to the Gods of Love.

Hah. Interesting idea but what a mess.

I’m the only Russian so far?

Your lovemaking is revolutionary!

It will inspire others to stage their own sexual revolutions for generations to come. You’re a Czar in the bedroom. Merely satisfying your partner will never be enough for you...you must conquer them completely. This has probably got a lot to do with the fact that you are no stranger to oil...even the type that is crude.

Uhhhh...HMMMmmmmmm. Don’t recall any Slavic relatives. Maybe I should ask the parents. Heh.

85% French, which is just plain damned weird for a Pole Germ.  I’m almost ashamed . . . except that I don’t shame easily because I’m, well, more French than I realized.

I remember Melville talking about sperm-whale schwans in Moby-Dick and doing it with inimitable, Melvillean humor and relish.  But me?  I just like ‘em straight-up and cut.  (Oops, TMI a la LKH.)

I really do like the word phallus.  It has a kind of classical classiness and inspires me with awe.  Too bad it’s fallen out of fashion.  But I suppose if modern erotic-romance readers came across that word, they’d assume the hero and heroine had some kind of reverse Pygmalion thing going on.  (Hey, there’s an idea!)

shot81 - hahaha

Hmmm..  I am 67% Congolese!

Like the murky water of the Congo, your lovemaking is wild and unpredictable and always, always deep.  You are very possessive of your territory in the bedroom and always put up a fight before being conquered.

Sounds like an old Johanna Lindsey book I read.

I went from 54% Taiwanese to 86% Congolese… I think the less said the better about that, rofl.  For once the ad agency came up with something not completely idiotic… he he

Is nobody British?  Do we determine from that that Brits don’t have sex? :)

cub- dh is british, and i canm attest to the sexxoring in the bed.

the passport lady was disturbing because i have a british friend who looks just like her! argh!…

and i was 67% russian… which is actually almost true. (ukranian… polish… it’s all been overrun by the same barbarians...)

I got 67% in bed, not very British I suppose

78% Taiwanese. Dude.

68% Congolese - I’m totally all about putting up a fight before being conquered. Rowr

I loved the passport agent!

I’m 89% swedish.  Heh.  That was fun.  But undies do have their uses.

Depending on the quiz, I’m either 50% Italian (1st one), 89% Brazillian (2nd one), or 87% French.  I do like the French one, though, because it gave me a recipe for coq au vin and said my song was Hymne A L’amour, by Edith Piaf.  Very cool!

Alia, I meant did nobody score as British on the test?  :) So far it looks like nobody did.  Which I think is funny.

On a personal level, I had no complaints when I lived in Scotland… grin

My English husband was 51% Brazilian. I demand a recount. Me? 90% French. Hmmm....

79% Italian.  Which for some reason caused me to have a bizarre idea involving tomato sauce.

Now that I think about it, how did the British reproduce before they invented test tube babies?  The first IVF was a British baby, wasn’t she?  Hmm.  Why didn’t I ever think of that before?

smartmensab: it was the vikings. and then the scottish and irish. and then the colonies. i’m not sure the british ever had sex with *each other*. (the royal family’s german, so i guess they can continue to have sex with each other.)

i am going to hell now, g’night.

ps: Carrie… should we start a club for ppl with british spouses? we can complain about marmite and drink tea…

55% Italian - Couldn’t figure out how to adjust phallic toy - any help? Wonder what the 45% is?

I think I finally figured it out.  Whatever your percentage of something is, the converse is your amount of Britishness.... so I’m either 46% or 14% British… ehm, sure… lol

89% Swedish in the bedroom, 25% Swedish (and third generation American) in the genes.

And according to the spam word, I’m actually14.  Woot!

I think I finally figured it out.  Whatever your percentage of something is, the converse is your amount of Britishness.... so I’m either 46% or 14% British… ehm, sure… lol

That’s probably it. I was wondering if the missing percentage was related to the brain dead orgasm activity…

54% Swedish. I want to know what the other 46% is. 

I am also still giggling over the “bangs per minute” metronome!

Thank you, everyone who came over and commented on my blog.  I was more than able to double the donation and as I told SB Sarah in the email I sent her, I think Delaney’s parents will be extremely touched to know that the donation came due to the sympathy and generosity of readers, since she was already an avid reader herself.  They said at her memorial service that she’d read 45 chapter books for her summer reading program last year.  As a seven year old.

Anyhow, thanks so much.

Oh, and I wound up 87% Brazilian.  And I LOVED the Passport agent.

I got 70% Congolese. The passport lady was dressed in fruit and dancing around. She’s very hip.

I didn’t get ANY cat questions.

I think it’s cause I misinterpreted the “stroked any pets” query in the early rounds to mean something else.

Or I had the correct meaning after all.

They surprised me with the Swedish thing.

I loved the quiz lady; she was awesomely deadpan!

I love the idea of donating money for each comment. I’m going to try that myself!

86% Russian. Heavens, the Guy will be pleased. He’s always had a fascination with Russian women…

>)

Did anyone else get the question, “has your genitalia ever been spontaneously applauded?”

When I tried to click the “yes” button, it kept running away from my pointer and the “no” button kept getting bigger and bigger.  In the end I had to click “no” to get it to quit blinking so ominously.

(Never mind that no was the correct answer.  Still, it’s embarrassing to have a website be so intuitive.)

LOL!!!  I totally missed the “bangs per minute” metronome! Comments are the true prize here.

Have now done the test, oh, at least six times and every time through at least one new/different question and a different result.  My favourite: the role-play choices.  Perhaps choosing Steptoe and Son would give the British result?  Or if I’d chosen “a man in socks” for the filming-sex-with question.  Someone at the ad agency had a lot of fun with this. 

Bron