Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Uh, wow.  That last link is… painful.  I think my favourite part has to be “if she’s reading romance novels, it’s to get something that you should be providing for her and you’re not.” I wonder if he feels the same way about romantic movies?

...because letters written by women who think there is an apostrophe in the word “se’x” are a good source of information.  I had to check the top of that one and make sure it wasn’t dated April 1.

What do we find so great about reading about people who do not even exist in real life?

Isn’t that every work of fiction ever written?

And I read sci-fi because I just haven’t got enough Martians in my life.  My husband must become my sci-fi anthology!  Then I won’t have to read any more!  Hooray!

And don’t think for a second that because you don’t hear moaning noises coming from the bathroom after she lays her book down that she can’t or won’t relieve herself

Well, of course one wouldn’t hear moaning, dear. I don’t generally moan while “relieving” myself in the bathroom. (I’m a little confused by the use of a term usually applied to urination to describe masturbation; could you tell?)

And I’m not entirely convinced that the letter from “Karen” was either a) written by an adult woman or b) written by a person who has read romance novels.

So happy to see people are still flogging the rotting carcass of the Romance=THE PRONS!!!OMGELEVENTY1!!! horse.

Cheers, bitches!

Sarah - I too am unable to climb stairs with no backs.

The Borders store near my work has them and everytime I’m in there it’s a white knuckled adrenaline kick anytime I need to look at anything other the fiction section. I hate just walking past them to be honest *shudders*

Ditto on the stair thing.  Cold chills!!!

Wow… I haven’t read such good send-ups since Joan Rivers appeared on the cover of Cosmoparody magazine. Well done!

(snurfles happily with laughter)

I hate today. I never know what’s real and what’s not.

But is that blog for real? I mean...it can’t be, can it? Please, please tell me it’s not real.

In our university library the stairs are made of metal grating. So you can see down two storeys and they have no backs!
I think that should be forbidden!

Upon reflection (ie clicking some links), I feel quite certain that can’t be a real blog.

And yet...that’s a hell of a lot of work for a prank…

I’m so confused. I hate April Fools.

(Confirmation word: aid54. As in, please help the poor addled Snark.)

I think the “se’x” thing is to get around nasty email blockers that won’t let you use certain words (but I could be wrong).

Wow, that last link has left me feeling like I’ve taken a hit to the head by a club.  And the more I look, the more I can’t stop looking!  I scare myself sometimes with my inability to stop being inquisitive and I’m afraid I took myself to the dark side today when I realized I’m reeaaallly curious about the relationship guide that guy has put together.  What can he be telling people? 

And his post tags!  It’s a wonderland for the ghoulishly curious!  How can one resist clicking for topics tagged “How Women Behave” and “Alpha Male”.  It sounds like some scientist just back from the zoo who’s just dying to share his new theories on human mating rituals.

I was at work during Sydney’s Earth Hour (an ICU, so lots of stuff I couldn’t turn off!). I did go up to the top storey of the hospital and had a wonderful view of Sydney with it’s lights out :)

Cendare, if that’s it, it makes sense, except that it appears without the apostrophe later in the letter.  Possibly the blogger removed the apostrophes inconsistantly, in which case, it’s the blogger’s fault.  Somebody is doing a poor job of editing somewhere in any case.

Has your woman ever been reading in bed and then suddenly put down the book and wanted to have se’x with you?

Dude!  I get it now!  All the times my husband’s been watching tv in bed and then suddenly turned it off and wanted to have sex with me?  He must have a thing for Jay Leno!

Wow. That blog is just all about the ridiculous. I am amazed at what that guy wrote. Yes beacuase every time I finish a romance novel if I’m not getting satisfaction, then of course I’m going to go out and find it. Don’t we all?

I’m curious about what missing letters that apostrophe stands for.

Se’[e, I don’t need your dead ass, pudmonkey, because I got me some great books and toys right here under the bed, in this bo]x.

Because I’m an insufferable know-it-all, I’m popping in to say that the horizontal part of a step/stair is the tread, and the vertical part is the riser, so if you have a hard time with staircases that allow you to see through them, it’s likely because they’ve been built without risers.

In related news, I had a Cubano coffee right before dinner, and now I can’t shut off my brain. My idiocy, let me show you it.

Dude!  I get it now!  All the times my husband’s been watching tv in bed and then suddenly turned it off and wanted to have sex with me?  He must have a thing for Jay Leno!

Bwhahahahahahah!!!!

I am also not of fan of those sorts of stairs (or bridges, or planes, or interstates, or semis, for that matter). It’s funny how that little gap works on your mind.  When I was in hs, we were doing a track unit in physed, and to introduce hurdles, we had to jump over a padded wedge the exact same height as an actual hurdle.  I did that just fine.  When we had to jump a real hurdle, though, with that huge space between the bar and the ground, I could not do it.  I tried many times, but would always pull up at the last minute.  So ended my glorious athletic career ;)

spam: provided86--why yes I did provide 86 bottles of apple juice last night!

OMG, I thought I was the only person on the planet who was afraid of latex balloons…

Riserless staircases used to bug the hell out of me too, though I’ve gotten used to it (if only because they use them in my apartment building and I live on the second floor).

I’m curious, though-- you say latex balloons bother you, but mylar doesn’t? Is it because mylar usually doesn’t pop if punctured, but just deflates? Is it the squeaky factor?

The scary thing about the stairs with no backs is that the bad guy can just grab your ankles right through them.  Trufax.

Last link = Facile. Specious. Crap.

Jenyfer’s comment about Jay Leno: Bwhahahahahaha!

Sarah, I think avoidance therapy is what you need for that latex-balloon problem. Just avoid them.

Whoops. It was Lorelie who posted about Leno. Bwhahahaha! all over again to the correct person.