Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

I would TOTALLY shop for my utterly spoiled German Shepherd at High Maintanence Bitch!  Because she is, in fact, a bitch.  A lovely one, an adored and coddled one--in fact, the daughter I never had (complete with 2 extra feet and a tail)--yet a bitch, nonetheless.  Simi would fit right in there, as would her proud bitch mama.

Yet again, the outcry over teaching words to your children.  My boys KNOW what bitch means, and that it’s mostly used as a very rude thing to call a woman.  They also are aware that shit means poop, fuck means “mating” (their word du jour, since they’re helping their grandfather with his chicken crossbreeding program), etc.  What’s to fear?  They ask you what a word means, you tell them, explain that it is or is not appropriate to use, and life goes on.

Yay for the plug for my buddy Bron!  She’s going to be Dr. Romantic Bitch when all is said and done.  Everyone go take the survey, or I’ll make Simi bite you.  (I’ll tell her you stole her lemongrass and kelp breath treats.)

And the insect covers?  Flashbacks to Kafka and really, I could’ve done without that.  Once going through that freakazoid’s “literature” is MORE than enough.  Ick.

Congrats on the prominent placement there.

I am a High Maintenance Pig! What of it?

I tried to take that survey but it blew up.

I feel aimless and discontent now.

http://samhainpublishing.com/romance/minder

Does anyone else here feel this cover is really um um um

YUCK!

You know when I first saw the pet store article, I was completely distracted by the fact that they cater primarily to the female dogs. I was like, what? The male dogs don’t need toys, too? Then the fact that people were complaining about the “name” hit me and I was like good grief, they are dogs, you know.

Hi, my name is JMC and I am addicted to Harlequin Presents.  Every time I read another awful sheikh/businessman/virgin heroine/secretary HP, I swear I’m never going to buy another one.  But after a couple of months, I lapse because an old favorite (Robyn Donald, Emma Darcy, etc.) releases an HP and I can’t resist.

Now that I’ve admitted that:  the I (Heart) Presents blog is run by Harlequin.  It says so openly at the top of the page.  And everyone who has posted (as far as I can tell) is an employee.  Now, they may love Presents, but knowing that the HP fans who are posting are also employees seems a little squicky to me.  All promo all the time?  HP trying to get in touch with the online community, which seems to be less interested in series than other groups of readers?  I dunno.  I guess I just feel kind of skeptical.  It isn’t attached to the eHarlequin site, but I kind of feel like it might as well be.  :shrug:

I fear the Fabio Fone.  Do you think he has a telefonino?  Hmmm.  Just a little, itty bitty one for our Fabio.  Maybe it’s a telefoninaccio?  Yes, a naughty little one.  It’s certainly not a telefonone.  Poor Fabio, having to live with the mantitte and a telefonino.

Teddy Pig, I saw “Gay/lesbian romance” and assumed it was a lesbian romance from the cover.

As for HMB, wouldn’t this be a good chance for parents to explain that “bitch” isn’t a dirty word when discussing dogs? Oh no, that’s wrong: we must PROTECT THE CHILDREN!!!!1! at every moment, even from those evil things called ‘words’.

I also love this from the HP blog:

So there are many ways of being a mistress, but if you are a Presents hero’s mistress, you are really something special. There are never any illicit affairs, or extra-marital shenanigans.

“Teddy Pig, I saw “Gay/lesbian romance” and assumed it was a lesbian romance from the cover.”

I thought it was their first Tranny Romance.

A threesome with only two.
F\M/M

I call extra-marital shenanigans!

“I get to wallow in his passion, not in his laundry!”

Oh honey, even as a single gay man this was so typical. I mean you know it’s love when they keep the cum rags clean.

i took the romantic times survey..

candy did you tingle when i clicked you?

the dude that painted insects is way off base..men are pigs not grasshoppers.

Here’s a few…

Anti-Valentines
http://www.meish.org/vd/

For Star Trek Fans:
http://www.voltaire.net/mp3/Voltaire-The_USS_Make-Shit-Up.mp3

The Writer’s Fight Song:
http://commodorified.livejournal.com/143847.html

My aunt once called the local newspaper to phone in a “LOST DOG” classified ad. She started dictating:

Lost: Reward offered for small black bitch lost Tuesday evening between 5 and 9 pm....

The operator hung up on her after the word “bitch”. Ummm. But. OK.

The local dog shelter here is called the Dumb Friends League--old, old name, meaning dogs/cats don’t speak.  Well, not exactly.  Well, hell, I didn’t name the place.  My dog dug out of the yard, so I tried to report him to the Dumb Friends, so we could get him back.  The 411 operator just chewed my ass about making fun of stupid people.  Apparently stupid people like her.  Erg, had to find the cumbersome phone book and do it the old hard way.

Quick follow up on the dog scrotum.  My husband the veterinarian says that dogs get bit on the nose, cause they’re always sticking them out.  Also the treatment for a snake bite in dogs is to filet the area open and flush it out.  Bet the librarians would ban that info in a heartbeat.

ha. The bitch store owners should keep on a chuggin’ along. what a big whoop over nothin! I wouldn’t care if a kid understood what the word truly meant. It is a good idea to reclaim ideas. Once you have, it wouldn’t be offensive to see that sort of thing on a sign. Duh!

I just totally pranked someone with the Fabiofone. I can’t EEEEEEEEEEEEEVEN wait until he calls her. OMG!!!

*snort*

Thanks once again for amazingly funny linkage. I can count on Mah Bitches for the goods!

Jackie L, you should call a supervisor about that. And don’t think “I won’t bother, it doesn’t matter”: that very worthwhile charity may be losing both donations and respect because of the actions of a telephone operator. The phone company has NO right to censor them or you.

In fact, if you told me which phone company it was I’d telephone them directly from Canada myself. That incenses me.

Teddy Pig, is that Jim Morrison on that cover there?

I agree, I’d call the company and complain, and Suisan I’d call the newspaper too. You work for a newspaper. You should know what words mean.

The High Maintenance Bitch article was hilarious.  I did have a great aunt who wanted me to call our collie bitch a “lady dog”.  But that was forty plus years ago.

Thanks for the link - I have now learned that he likes his women well built.  Always good to know!

Teddy Pig, is that Jim Morrison on that cover there?

Did Jim Morrison wear lipstick and have botox treatments and is that a little color on the cheeks there.

SO MANLY!

High Maint. Bitch...that’s Seattle for ya, not early as progressive and enlightened as they like to believe themselves to be (sure my grammer sucks).  More often narrow minded, delusional,frumpy, and easily lead.  Seattle (suburb of Wallingford) is busy ignoring the controversy of a waterfront sculpture featuring a naked boy and naked man, disturbingly close to pedophelia.  Should be entertaining to watch them chew themselves up over the name of a doggie store.  Of course, if it was a high priced womens clothing store, it would be a non story...go figure.

Doesn’t the insect “dude” look more like a female to anyone but me?

Dudette perhaps?