Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

It wasn’t my first book, but the piece of dialogue that has stuck with me was in sign language.  I don’t remember the title, author, or characters, but I remember that scene.  Lengthy set-up:

It was a series romance, late 80’s or early 90’s, the heroine was a fashion designer who ran her small business out of her home, with a large cast of secondary characters, including an older black couple.  The man (Ray?) ran a carpentry crew and the heroine’s life, because he was a take-charge kind of guy and took on all the local misfits. His wife helped with the fashion business and totally intimidated the heroine. The wife was very mysterious, never spoke, and always dressed in that queenly African style of turban and robe (I don’t know what it’s called).

There’s a scene in which Ray explains to the heroine that his wife isn’t looking down on the peasants, but physically cannot speak. She’d been badly burned in a fire (started by abusive former husband?) and was mostly covered in burn scars, which was why she covered up most of her body. Her face was miraculously spared.

So, Ray is explaining this to the heroine, and that he had loved his now-wife from afar, and hadn’t been able to save her from her abusive spouse, but had leapt at the chance to rescue her from the fire (that killed her husband?), and he knew that she didn’t love him, but he was content to accept anything she offered him.

Ray’s wife overhead this, and there’s a scene later (that the heroine sees) in which the wife makes the gesture of opening a door over her heart, and giving her heart to Ray, to show him she loves him.

It chokes me up even now, all these years later.

Oh, I have a helluva memory for quotes but when I’m on the spot I can’t remember any of them, of course.

Ashes in the Wind was my first big romance novel.  One line that comes to me immediately is when Cole is trying to tease her out of being sad, and it backfires.  A rant about her wartime travails, ending with “Don’t you see?  There never was any Al! I’ve always been Alaina!” or something similar.  One of those Men are From Mars moments, for sure.

One of my favorite lines in the history of the written word comes from NR’s Carnal Innocence.  The FBI dude has Tucker in for questioning and asks if he wants to make a statement.  Tucker replies “Like ‘the only thing we have to fear is fear itself’?” I’ve been waiting for over 15 years for an occasion in real life to use that quote.

I’m a waste of space as a student. Can I remember what the name is of the minister of justice during the Russian Revolution? Of course not. Do I remember WHOLE PASSAGES from books I’ve loved/liked/read? Yes I do. Mostly very funny passages (I laughed at the NR part a lot too; I’m pretty sure it’s the first book, when they’re going to get Seth’s haircut at the mall, but he does that off and on throughout the first three books) or very romantic/sad passages.

But now something is finally happening in class, so I’ll quote for you later.

Not my first romance, but I memorized a poem from a Victoria Holt novel that turns out was actually a Robert Browning poem.

The year’s at the spring
And day’s at the morn;
Morning’s at seven;
The hillside’s dew-pearled;
The lark’s on the wing;
The snail’s on the thorn:
God’s in His heaven—
All’s right with the world!

It’s so pretty *sniff sniff*

I love one line in JR Ward.  Don’t remember which book, but someone (V?) and Butch are talking about something.  The person talking to Butch gets pissed at him because Butch is needling him about his lovelife, and says to Butch, whose all dressed up to go visit Marissa, “Nice. Fucking. Suit.” And they have a fight.  Cracks me up EVERY time!  Such a guy thing to say!

Mine’s not classified as a romance, but the first time I ever wrote in a book (at age fifteen! I was a good girl) was to underline this from Emma by Jane Austen:

[Knightley to Emma] Perhaps if I loved you less, I could talk about it more.

No lie: I read that line and clutched the book to my bosoms for several minutes. And then I underlined it. In pencil.

Ooh, thought of another one:  Welcome to Temptation by Jennifer Crusie

“She just fucked me six ways to Sunday.”
“She beat you at pool, too.”

Love that book.

Not really a Romance, but it is the first time I remember a book fully engaging my emotions-- Little Women. I was pre-teen, probably between 8 and 10 the first time I read it.

Oh LAWDY, I SOBBED at Beth’s death scene! Complete blubbering wails! And even with my terrible memory, I can still remember these haunting, yet beautiful words:

“...and on the same breast where she had drawn her first breath, she quietly drew her last.”

Just thinking of that line turns me into a watering pot again.

I always seem to remember the funny stuff.

Tom Paoletti, one of Suzanne Brockmann’s SEALS is recovering from a head injury and he runs too far and is feeling sick to his stomach. He tries to make it look like it’s because he’s getting too old to run that fast, not because he’s hurt.  His great-uncle (in his 80’s and sick) looks at his friend and says, “Should I hit him with my cane or my oxygen tank” or something like that. I laughed so hard I woke up my sleeping husband!

Why can I tie everything back to The Windflower? I don’t know.

My all time favorite scene and line from that book is when Merry (the heroine) steals a leaky row boat to try to escape from the Black Joke (a pirate ship). She nearly drowns before being rescued. When confronted about the fact that he’d left the boat there on purpose for Merry to drown in, Rand Morgan, the captain replies, “One must suffer a little adversity to become truly interesting.”

I lurve Rand Morgan.

Gosh. I have a horrible time remembering exact quotes. I think it comes from the fact that when I read I picture it more as a scene instead of reading them as words (does that make any sense?). So if you said “where was that part where...” I could flip through a book and find it in a heartbeat.

My first ever romance I don’t remember except I didn’t like it and it put off of them for years. Then I was convinced to give them another try… one or two years ago (there’s that wonky memory again). Mr. Impossible, by Loretta Chase. And while I remember the whole book and I still love it, I just can’t remember word for word dialogue. I feel terrible, but I’m that way with all books (Except for the Scarlet Pimpernel books, I can always remember passages from those. Like when she describes Sir Percy as “...six foot odd of gorgeousness").

In fact, the only line I can think of right now is from Chesapeake Blue by Nora Roberts when Cam says, “He had to admit it, he’d raised a bunch of wiseasses. It did a man proud.” 1) That’s still probably not right anyway, 2) Because Sarah mentioned the Quinns, 3) I just finished it not that long ago, and 4) It was just one of those things that hit me as really really funny and I just laughed out loud. In the middle of a medical waiting room. Need space in a waiting room? Just start laughing.

Oooh, Rand Morgan!

“It’s not a word, it’s an ejaculation...I seem to have ejaculated prematurely.”

Windflower is FULL of memorable dialogue, so much of it from my favourite ever pirate.

Also, Cook: “There’s more to love than two pelvises in a tussle.”

Oh! Chicklet, you’ve reminded me about Jane Austen’s Persuasion: “You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope.” That was my dreamy sigh, book clutching moment. It’s so simple and poetic at the same time, I read it over and over.

Passion’s Ransom by Betina Krahn was recommended to me by a friend of a friend. She wasw really into romance novels and I hadn’t given them a single thought other than “ew, whatever, stupid stories”. She said “if you like pirates, you should read this!” Well, I found it at the local used book store with the feeling that if I was going to buy a romance I was going to pay the cheapest I could get for it unless it was guaranteed to be awesome.

Well, I remember the basic premise of it… rather vividly. It was fine at the time, but I never read through it, mostly because after the main pairing was established and all they were doing was going at it either in fights or in bed then there was little left to read about that interested me in any way. However, like a gateway drug, I got into more of Betina Krahn’s work. I have found the niche I love more than anything else. Medieval. I love knights and I love adventure and I love a good love story with plenty of humor and her Husband Test, Wife Test and Marriage Test are absolutely what I love. Especially Wife Test, in which every plan goes awry and childish behavior ensues between the main girl and guy. ("You liked what you saw, didn’t you.” “No, I didn’t!” “Yes, you did.” “No, I didn’t!!” “Yes, you did.") I dunno about Passion’s Ransom popping my cherry for romance books being all that memorable, but the ones I read afterward were definitely more memorable.

The line of dialogue that always sticks with me is from one of la Nora’s books--and I’m sorry to say that it sticks with me because I found the whole thing so ridiculous. (In Nora’s defense, I think it was one of her first books.) It was...hm. One of the Irish whatever books...about the horses? With the virgin heroine? The stablehand hero beats the shit out of some guy who tried to grab her or hit her or something, and he’s all, “He put his hands on you.” It’s all he can say. Somehow, that’s stayed with me.

Weird things stay in my head. Lines of dialogue from random books, lines of poems, etc. I sometimes get lines of dialogue from movies stuck in my head--running on continuous loop, like a song.

Also not my first romance, but one of the best bits of dialogue I’ve read is the “Opening the West” scene from Jenny Crusie’s What The Lady Wants. Bits of it always pops into my head whenever the subject of fidelity comes up.

“...the fact is, men cheat. We have to. It’s a biological imperative..... It’s the reason men crossed the oceans, built the pipeline, opened the West.”

“Women don’t want to open the West?”

“No. Women want to stay home and keep the East looking nice.... This is just biology. Men need multiple breasts in their lives. Women need to make a commitment to one penis.”

“Then why do men get married?”

“For backup. That way they always have a set of breasts at home.”

Too funny. Sometimes I grab the book and read just that scene.

Chicklet, I used that line as the title of one of my academic essays.  It’s in Talk in Jane Austen, the book of the TRULY godawful cover (I want Sarah and Candy to snark THAT one!).  That’s the line, the one line of dialogue, that pretty much started my entire academic career.  That’s the line around which I built the essay I used to get into grad school.  That’s the essay that I turned into my first important conference presentation, and my first published paper.  So that line holds great significance for me--thanks for reminding me!

For as many times as I read Jane Eyre, the one exchange that always comes to mind:

Rochester: Am I hideous, Jane?
Jane: Very, sir.  You always were you know.

I’m sure if I keeping thinking about it there’s some late 70s/early 80s Harlequin dialogue stuck in my head somewhere.

Ah Suze, a kindred soul, I’m SO glad!

And when Devon proposes to Merry and she punches him in the face. And then he’s trying to talk her around to marrying him and she finally hollers at him, “Oh do whatever you want, you always don anyway, you certainly don’t need my agreement.”

Awesome.

I pretty much adore the poem Jacqueline Carey wrote for Kushiel’s Dart, about a man’s love for his king (yes, like THAT), which went something like: “Let now this breast, upon which you have lain, serve as thy shield.” The poem is longer, and that’s the motif, and mein gott that is hot, and touching, and amazing.

If I did not have morals, I would steal that thing LIKE MAD.

(That and “Repose-toi, mon âme, en ce dernier asile” [Rest, my soul, in this last harbor] by Lamartine, which was a motif from Sing to Me of Dreams by Kathryn Lynn Davis.)

Connie Brockway’s As You Desire. Harry is describing how he could compliment Dizzy better than his cousin who called her a rose.

“You are my country Desdamona. My Egypt. My hot harrowing desert and my cool verdant Nile. Infinitely lovely and unfathomable and sustaining.

You’ll never hear old Blake say something like that. Remember my words the next time he calls you a bloody English rose!”

That whole scene just makes my toes curl, its so wonderful.

While I shall deny to the death that Georgette Heyer is in any way at all trashy, the final declaration: “Leonie! You are not the first woman in my life!” “Oh, Monsignor - I should so much rather be the last than the first” (I paraphrase, because the book is downstairs, but that’s pretty damn close) has ruined me for real life and its decidedly inferior declarations of love for all time.

Mac, I love that snippet from Kushiel’s Dart. Le sigh.

I’m trying to remember specific lines from novels and for some reason I keep drawing blanks, even though there are entire scenes I can remember visualised in my head…

I do recall the first time I ever read Wuthering Heights and this bit--

‘Because misery and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of your own will, did it. I have not broken your heart—you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.’

--sent my poor twelve-year-old heart into a state of minor catatonia. That was the one snippet I remembered from that first reading, and it was only rereading it about four years later that I came to love it completely.

Oh, and Eunice, I too remember certain bits of The Scarlet Pimpernel, though there was one that made me very light-headed—I don’t remember the exact line, but it was the conclusion of the scene in the garden at Richmond after Grenville’s ball, and the description of Percy there still gets me every single time.

Hmm, my first romance novel was a SF/space travel plot where the advanced-civilization heroine ends up on a ass-backwards planet where the alpha males are extra extra alpha-y.

The memorable scene, for me, is where the hero, to punish the heroine for one of her forward thinking ideas, takes too much of some libido-reducing herb concoction and then “stimulates” the heroine all night without ever giving her “release”, so much so that her screams of “frustration” are heard throughout the complex. 

The whole book is like one long rape-fantasy and I have no idea how it ended up in my pre-teen hands.  I don’t remember the title or author and I don’t want to, either.

However, the first romance novel I truly loved was The Duchess by Jude Deveraux.  Secret passages, disguised dukes, sassy heroines, oh my!

Mine are rather odd.

I read Jane Eyre about a million times between the ages ...well, about the ages she is in the book.  Rochester shouting “Jane!  Jane!  Jane!” thrilled my little heart.  And, um, I’m a Jane too.

But here’s one that made me laugh, from The Shuttle by Frances Hodgson Burnett (yes, the writer of The Secret Garden, and yes she also wrote for adults).  The hero, Lord Mount Dunstan, is telling the herione, Betty Vanderpoel, a story of his remote Saxon ancestor, Red Godwyn:

“Red Godwyn went forth, and after a bloody fight took his enemy’s castle. ...He also took Alys of the Eyes and bore her away captive.”

“From such incidents developed the germs of the desire for women’s suffrage,” Miss Vanderpoel observed gently.

From SEP’s Nobody’s Baby But Mine: “I married a damn cereal killer.”

And even though I’m not usually a big fan of the sappy stuff, I have to say that this line from This Heart of Mine always sticks with me: “It was a kiss made in lonely dreams. A kiss that took its time. A kiss that felt so right she couldn’t remember all the reasons it was wrong.”

Marcella!  I know this book!  Sadly it was one of my first romances—I was a SF geek, and it put me off romances for some years.  It still hangs arond at the back of my mind like a terrible aftertaste.  (That was the one where national dress for women was some skirt made out of hanging flaps like some kind of hula skirt cum car wash wheel, yes?  So any false move would leave her half-naked? And on her planet, babies were grown in vitro, but he manfully decided that she would give birth because he said so? And he kept talking about how he could “smell her arousal” so it was no good for her to lie. That stimulation scene was a horror. Any “sex” scene that ends with the heroine crying pitably in a corner is emphatically not my cup of tea.)

Dorothy Sayers wrote, in my humble opinion, the greatest proposal of all time at the end of Gaudy Night. I dont’ have it in front of me, so I can’t quote the dialogue tags, which are wonderful, but the actual dialogue is:

”Placetne, magistra?”
”Placet.”

The Latin is apparently what’s said to graduates of Oxford Colleges upon confirmation of their degree. It’s being addressed as a true equal. Best. Proposal. Ever.

Also Sayers--the first line of Have His Carcase is fully delightful when you’re unhappy: “The best remedy for a bruised heart is not, as so many people seem to think, repose upon a manly bosom. Much more efficacious are honest work, physical activity, and the sudden acquisition of wealth.” I should very much love to read the romance novel that takes that idea as its tagline.

I can’t remember quotes from books. I barely remember plots, though I can usually recall whether I’ve already read a book or not by the time I get two or three chapters into it. And I have so many favorite books and favorite lines (some of them written by me) that it’s very difficult to pick just one.

The book that sucked me into romance reading was a Roberta Gellis book. Either Alinor or The English Heiress--I honestly don’t remember which one I read first, but I loved those books. They’re both in my garage somewhere, having been moved from central Texas to the panhandle and now down to the coast. (I need to dig them out before the humidity totally ruins them.)

I’ve read some absolutely amazing dialogue in Lydia Joyce’s books--the one set in the Balkans had some great lines, but I’d have to pull the book out and hunt to find it.

Wow--such excellent quotes!!!  For the person who brought up Suzanne Brockman--she has some truly excellent funny moments--and not always between the H/H.  I love the moment in the master chief’s book (forgive me--I don’t even remember which one dealt with the master chief!) when Sam is running a drill with the team, trying to figure out how they’re going to free hostages from an airplane.  Something goes wrong and Sam’s line (HIDEOUSLY mangled here) goes something like, “Master Chief, would you fucking please tell the fucking colonel that we fucking need a new fucking piece of this fucking fake airplane.”

To which Mater Chief replies, “Fuck yes, sir.”

Also from Suzanne Brockman, I loved Ibrahim and Mary Lou, “Ooh, you have made a mess.  Now what are you going to do about it?” It was so proactive and unconditional…

And I just finished Jeaneane Frost’s newest book, and there were some REALLY hot lines of dialog from it, and I have drawn a complete blank.  *sigh* It’ll come to me in a week, I know it!

(eeeee...it was so exciting to see my letter posted.  Thanks, Sarah:-)

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in stained glass window.

From SEP’s Nobody’s Baby But Mine: “I married a damn cereal killer.”

That’s my favorite too!!  I love the banter between Jane and Cal… Love love love that book.

Hee!  La Reine Noire, what I remember most from the Scarlet Pimpernel was the mistaking-raw-pepper-for-snuff scene.  Not romantic, per se, but AWESOME.

And yeah—Jacqueline Carey is not always perfect, but when she’s right… DAMN.

I shall be evil and reveal the title that haunts Marcella and Mac’s nightmares:  “Warrior’s Woman” by Johanna Lindsey.  It’s...interesting.  People seem to either love it or loathe it. 

My first genre romance novel was “Sheik’s Captive” by Violet Winspear.  I believe there was a scene where the hero was forcing KISSES on the heroine and came very close to touching her BREAST!  It was awesome.  Around about the same time (11?12?) I recall reading “Clan of the Cave Bear” and being skeptical about poor Jondolar’s over-large weenie problem, which didn’t stop me from poring over all the pleasures he gave Ayla.

I’m with you, Eunice. Persuasion is the swooniest of all.
“I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it eight years and a half ago.”

*le sigh*

Jody, you fiend!  :-D

Aw, Jondalar.  I remember being wildly interested in everything but the sex scenes, which were the same damn thing every time, in the same wording, to boot. (He MARVELED at this WOMAN who could ACCEPT his FULL SIZE.  Yet again.  Because it was MARVELOUS.) But I was a weird kid.  (I remember things like the leathermaking, and how Ayla invented foundation garments. *snicker*)

I’m gonna have to go home and look up things.  I can remember odd snippets of poetry, and I remember plots that blow me away and make me cry, but dialogue is harder.  (Especially when wording counts so much.)

Mac and Marcella, I read that book too, and it outraged me so much, I wrote a long letter to the author, Johanna Lindsey. WARRIOR’S WOMAN. (I had to go look it up on Shelfari.) I made up a whole story (unwritten) in opposition to the premises in this book, it got to me so much.

“She just fucked me six ways to Sunday.”
“She beat you at pool, too.”

Oh God yes.  There are so many standout lines in that book.  JC is fabulous at dialogue.

I still remember

“With all my soul I love you.  Across time I will love you,”

And two lines of dialogue that aren’t from romances but stick in my head and make me giggle uncontrollably when I just think of them:

“I think I’m fucked,” I said to Ranger.
“Maybe later.  After dinner.”

and from Terry Pratchett’s Carpe Jugulum, when the queen’s daughter’s name has erroneously been read out at the official Naming ceremony as

“Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling Of Lancre”, Nanny Ogg replies, “We once had a king called My God He’s Heavy the First.”

I’m still giggling over it now…

Mac,

Again you are squarely in my brain!  Kushiel’s Dart, end of chapter one, last paragraph,

Is it any wonder then, that I became what I did?  Delauney maintains that it was ever my destiny and perhaps he is right, but this I know to be true:  when Love cast me out, it was Cruelty who took pity on me.

Holy Jesus that’s good writing, especially the line following the colon.  Carey capitalizes love and cruelty and describes them both using the pronoun who, instead of that/which--an incredibly simply yet extremely effective way of setting up her fantasy/romance/erotic/bsdm elements.

As for my very first romances:  Jennifer Blake.  Good Lord.  Kristen DePonte gave me one (can’t remember which—they’re excellent for cover snark purposes though) in the seventh grade during Monsieur Beau’s French class after she told me I should start shaving my legs.

Cat,

Forgot about that fab Jude Devereaux line!  I sighed a lot over that one.

I wish I could remember the good stuff, but all I can come up with is what made me stop reading Beatrice Small.  Just couldn’t handle anymore “man spear” and “love sheath” talk.  I do know that Julia Quinn, Eloisa James, and Loretta Chase will make me snarf whatever beverage I happen to be enjoying while reading.

Oh, and let’s not forget that Ayla invented tampons too.  THAT scene stuck with me.

Hi Shaunee!  Guess what I bought yesterday.  *clutches paperback Kushiel’s Justice to bosom and LOVES HER SOME IMRIEL, OMG*

Oh, and let’s not forget that Ayla invented tampons too.  THAT scene stuck with me.

I’d forgotten it.  Possibly on purpose.

Mac,

Amazon sent me an email about me loving Carey’s other books, so why not get this one a few days ago.  Do let me know what you think of this one.  Still have no tv and am really running out of things to read.

Had no electricity for the last couple of days and wanted to slit my wrists.  Thought I’d do what “blue stockings” do and read by candle light.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to read by candle light?  Plus, it gets hot after a while.  It really doesn’t pay to be a blue stocking unless I’m doing the candle thing wrong… (how could applying flame to wick be wrong?)

Gail Dayton—oh, my.  Did you get a response from Lindsey?

I can’t seem to summon them to memory at will, but Pride and Prejudice is full of quotes that fly through my head when I’m triggered by hearing certain words and phrases.

Can I jump on the Kushiel’s squee-train???

Can’t think of a romance off hand but I can remember whole chunks of Young Frankenstein - starring Gene Wilder. Paraphrasing one character “there you go, after 7 or 8 quick ones, off to boast to the boys” or something like that. Love that movie.

spam boy38 - I wish!

I am much better at remembering scenes than dialogue, but a few do stick out in my mind:

Elizabeth Lowell’s Pearl Cove is one of my favorite books, and the line “What’s it like to love someone enough to die in their place?” has always stuck with me.

Also, in Nora Robert’s book Valley of Silence, basically the whole book is so romantic and quote worthy, but in particular the line Cian says to Moira “If my heart beat it would beat for you.” It was one of my book clutching to chest moments.

Scotsie:  Love as thou wilt, baby.  Love as thou wilt.

(okay, yeah, I was dying to say that.)

Shaunee—You know I will.

Oh god, glad I’m not the only one who was traumatized by Warrior’s Woman - that’s the first romance I ever read, too (if it can be called romance...it struck me as a little eurgh).  Although when I read it (I found it in my mum’s room when I was about 10) all the burgeoning manhoods were just as strange as the science fiction setting.

It’s not romantic, but everyone remembers Cordelia’s line from Lois McMaster Bujold’s Barrayar: 

“Shopping...Want to see what I bought?”

Memorable romance dialog for me includes The Grand Sophy, where Charles finally declares his love:
“I don’t!  I dislike you excessively!”

You had to be there.[g]

Warrior’s Woman infuriated me so much that I wrote my very first Amazon.com review in order to vent my frustrations.  The “hero” was named Challen and he punished the heroine by refusing to let her wear clothes and impregnated her on purpose without her knowledge (somehow her race “forgot” how to make babies other than in a test tube).  The woman also had a skeevy onboard sex android.  So much to hate!  Oddly, I was raised on a steady diet of Star Trek at home, so what really bothered me the most was that the weapon she carried was called a “phazor.”

Not a romance, but definitely one of my favourite quotes of all time, from LM Montgomerys Anne series, it’s either Rainbow Valley or Anne of Ingleside.  One of Annes kids has been earwigging on the sewing circle and comes up with this question,
“Are widows really women who’s dreams have come true?” It sounds just like something you don’t want your kid repeating!

First Romance?  A Woodwiss--not sure which one.

Quotes?  Ah, too many… But my wedding vows to my husband included this passage from “Romancing Mr. Bridgerton”:  “I love you with my past and I love you for my future.  I love you for the children we’ll have and for the years we’ll have together.  I love you for every one of my smiles, and even more, every one of your smiles.”

Oh, and I just thought of one more favorite piece of dialog, from Mary Balogh’s More Than A Mistress:

“If you were the last man on earth and you were to pester me daily for a million years, I would not marry you.  I will not do so.”
“My dear Lady Sara.” His voice was haughty and bored. “I do beg you to have some regard for my pride.  A million years?  I assure you I would stop asking after the first thousand.”

My first romance was a Heyer, probably Arabella.  The first book I identified as a romance and read in the original and not translation was the Catherine Coulter’s Song book with the infamous cream in it.

I thought Ayla invented panty liners not tampons.  :)

I wanted to write Lindsey a letter about Warrior’s Woman.  I never did, but I wish I had.  The really awful thing about this book is that you can hate it at the same time as being sickly fascinated by it and that I read the sequel (what was I *thinking*?)

I’m terrible at memorizing dialogue, but I’m pretty sure the mouse corpse scene from Chase’s LoS that I just read last week for the first time will stick with me for a while.

“Can’t a fellow trust you for a moment? How many times do I have to tell you to leave my friends alone?” Miss Trent coolly withdrew her hand.
Trent gave Dain an apologetic look. “Don’t pay it any mind, Dain. She does that to all the chaps. I don’t know why she does it, when she don’t want ’em. Just like them fool cats of Aunt Louisa’s. Go to all the bother of catching
a mouse, and then the confounded things won’t eat ’em. Just leave the corpses lying about for someone else to pick up.”

Growly THERE WAS A —pardon, I must not shout—there was a “Warrior Woman” sequel!???!!  (Dare I ask what happened in it??? Tell me she fought her way to freedom.)

I remember some beautiful bits of “The Shadow and the Star,” I think it was, where the main guy is trying to explain to his wife, whom he married slightly reluctantly, that he was sorry he had all these terrible urges and sex was bad, and he KNEW it was bad he was damaged, and this is what I am, and you have to come to terms, and oh god, can you even live with me I suck oh god, and the dear little thing comes back with (to paraphrase) “Well actually I’ve been trying to figure out for the past hour how to hint that I’d like to go to bed with you, like, now, please thanks.” Of course it was much more attractively put in the original text, which is why I should probably stick to poetry bits.

And “Carrots” in Anne of Green Gables wound up being one of the prettiest words ever, didn’t it.

So that line holds great significance for me--thanks for reminding me!

Aw shucks, ‘tweren’t nothin’. *g*

And that cover IS horrible. *shudders*

Spamblocker: lot96. I thought it was The Crying of Lot 49? The Thomas Pynchon book? I have no idea who wrote about Lot 96.

Mac,

all I remember that it was in the same world and the same things happened to another woman.  I think I’ve tried to sublimate it, erase it from my memory and see what you guys have done...you’ve resurrected the memory and I’ll be scarred for life now.  And since I never throw away nor trade in my books, I have those two abominations on my shelves upstairs…

My strongest concern about them at the time (and now) was that there would be young impressionable women out there (I must have been in my late teens or early twens) living in abusive households who would believe that this treatment of women was not only okay but necessary if it was written about in a romance novel and that abuse means that a guy loves you.

I wonder if anybody ever got an answer out of Lindsey or the publisher about what the H*(% they were thinking publishing these books.

Oh, and yes, I remember the Avon/Leonie scene. Beautiful. I’ve actually used it in reference to my husband and myself (seeing as I’m not wife no. 1 :).
I feel a re-read coming on.

TP and Neil, in Good Omens: (as the kraken-sea animal- is coming up and spots a boat): There is a tiny metal thing above it. The kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.

Still makes me laugh, every time I think of it.

Mr. Impossible is so far my favorite Loretta Chase, and this happens when Rupert and Daphne first meet, and the jailer is selling Daphne on him:

“Is it not remarkable how he’s kept up his spirits in this vile place?” Obligingly, Rupert began to whistle.

Anne Bishop, Queen of Darkness, right before the first time Daemon and Jaenelle (deeply in love and both virgins) made love:
J: “You look how I feel.”
D: “Sick and terrified?”

Omibob, I have so many of these. Also, the second poem I’ve ever memorized I read in a great book called Armageddon Summer by Emily Dickinson (uh, the poem, not the book):

“Faith” is a fine invention
When Gentlmen can see-
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency

And one of the most heartrending lines (don’t remember it exactly) I’ve ever read was in a book called Such a Pretty Girl by Laura Wiess (though not explicit and the ending is improbable, very harsh and touching): If you didn’t count incest, she was still a virgin.

And now I should go do homework…

million34: yep, I got a million and 34 of them left in my brain

Ohh, I’m the CAPTAIN of the Kushiel Love Train!  Squee! Squee!  ANY mention of vambraces makes me gush like a pre-teen girl at her first Jr. Prom! 

My favorite quote, though, is the end of Flowers from the Storm,

My sweet life.  Three horses own--two coaches--velvet--chambers--cushions--bed...my kisses.  All my kisses.  All to be...for thee alone.

And where my two favorites collided, Kinsale’s Shadowheart, where Elena and Allegreto play domination games and leave on the vambraces!!!  Squee!

My first romance novel was some horridness involving a Native American Indian and a red-headed White Chick who is abducted numerous times, sexxored by the NA, and ends up in England, where said sexxoring NA interrupts a ball in native attire and re-abducts her to the relative safety of his teepee for additional sexxoring of her pregnant self. 

Needless to say, it was the sexxoring that kept me going until I was grown up enough to realize I prefer a well-written romance to random sexxoring.

Not from a romance but one of my all time favorites -

Hard Eight - Janet E.

Right after Stephanie falls out of Ranger’s truck drunk in her mother’s yard:

“Fucking rabbit.”

Makes me laugh just thinking about it.

First romance I remember reading- Twins by Katherine Stone.

My most memorable dialog really isn’t from a romance novel either- it’s a poem by William Butler Yeats- When You Are Old

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Sigh…

I think that’s from Sea Swept (Philip changing his name to Pierre!) - it made me LOL too, and moreover, Sea Swept was the romance that popped my genre cherry! (Also remember Ethan saying “I’d rather get hit in the head with a brick than go to the mall on a Saturday” in the same conversation"… heh)

I cut my romance-reading teeth on Anya Seton’s KATHERINE. Good stuff--so good that I’ve read it probably 30-40 times since then and much of it sticks permanently in my mind.

Greatest love lines IMO:

Katherine: It was a whim, my lord. Will you be gentle with my whims?
John: I may not always be gentle. But by the soul of my mother, I shall love you until I die.

YESS!

Speaking strictly romance, it was Elizabeth Lowell’s Untamed. It had a blond fellow on the cover with the most amazing arse I’d ever seen.The line burned into my brain is “What was once dry is now wet!”

That was about 15 years ago and since, I’ve been looking for an excuse to utter that line in all seriousness in my real life.

Well if we’re not strictly sticking to romance, “Stay gold, Ponyboy” (The Outsiders) can still reduce me to a quivering lump. 

Nature’s first green is gold
The hardest hue to hold
Her early leaf’s a flower
But only so an hour
Then leaf subsides to leaf
So Eden came to grief
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.

The really sad thing about the Lindsay Warrior books (yes, books plural!) is that they’re pretty much a MORE ROMANTIC ripoff of a scifi series by Sharon Green, published early 80’s? Late 70’s?  Now those were messed up.  (Yeah, I devoured them all!)

Green’s heroine was an empathic Xenomediator (mediates between non-earth people) who gets sent to this barbaric planet to essentially be a sex slave to the barbarian lord guy. Her powers are suppressed when she’s home on earth, and fiercely resented/coveted by the barbarians. It gets very convoluted and conspiracy-ish.  And VERY alpha male.  Stick a modern woman in a world where women are essentially property and what does she do?  Spends a lot of time being a victim, in spite of her awesome psychic powers. ‘Cause that barbarian guy is just so, so manly!

Lindsay’s was much more palatable, if you can believe it.

Great butt aside I loathed that cover, amhartnett. The model was the fair and clean shave while Dominic was dark and hairy. My first lesson that that the people who pick romance covers don’t actually bother to read the book.

Absolutely, RStewie. Christian long speech in the Meetinghouse at the end of Flowers from the Storm are the romance gold standard, IMO.

No rule but love! Duchess!. . .Think you a meek mild little Quaker?. . Stubborn. . .self-will. . .pride-opionated liar. Won’t curtsey to the king, damn you! 

I give you. . . my daughter. . .because I’ll keep her. . .Because only you. . . can teach her courage enough. . .can teacher her to. . .be like you. A duchess. A duchess inside.

The whole Anne of Green Gables series is my romance touchstone. Gilbert will always be my ideal hero, but when Matthew is dying and he tells her,

I’d rather have you than a dozen boys, Anne.

I lose it. Every. Damn. Time.

From Jude Deveraux’s Sweet Liar:

“He was the most perfectly formed man she’d ever imagined.  He was movie stars, men in underwear commercials, guys at the gym, the construction worker in the red T-shirt who’d whistled at her but she’d pretended she hadn’t heard; he was the men in three-piece suits whose brains were as sexy as their bodies; he was lazy, insolent seventeen-year-old boys whose muscles bulged out of their clothes, rodeo stars, and those smooth-cheeked, eyeglassed men who held their children tenderly.  He was all of them.”

And I jump on board the Kushiel train.

Jumping on the La Nora train.  It wasn’t my first romance, but I fall on the floor every time I even think of this scene from The Heart’s Victory when Foxy is taking a bath: 

Foxy: I’ve decided to hate you.

Lance:  Oh? Again?

Sigh. I used to be able to quote whole chunks of P G Wodehouse’s “Summer Moonshine” but the best was always the last line of the book - “The telephone was ringing.” - which doesn’t mean much unless you know the context but it gets me everytime. There’s also a memorable moment where Joe and Jane are in a restaurant - Jane is fed up with Joe’s flirting and leaves. Joe says “Then I shall sit here and howl like a wolf” and then he does until she comes back and sits down again. I love that book.

Another favourite was from Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett. Once again I don’t have the book with me but it’s midway through the book and Vimes and Sybil are parting awkwardly. Vimes leaves the house, thinking that he isn’t going to look back at Sybil standing at the door watching him go. Then he hears the door close quietly behind him, “and he suddenly felt very, very angry, as though he had just been robbed”. Awww.

And finally a bit of Hardy. I love Far from the Madding Crowd:

Gabriel looked her long in the face, but the firelight
being faint there was not much to be seen. “Bathsheba,”
he said, tenderly and in surprise, and coming closer: “if I only knew one thing—whether you would allow me to love you and win you, and marry you after all—if I only knew that!”
“But you never will know,” she murmured.
“Why?”
“Because you never ask.”

Susan Kearney’s THE CHALLENGE for me had overtones of the Lindsey’s “Ly-San-Ter” series, only the heroine single-handedly revolutionized the hero’s patriarchial society instead of succumbing to it.  I believe Kearney’s novel was written some years ago (perhaps closer to the time of the Lindsey book) and updated for its debut, though I can’t find that factoid written anywhere...maybe it was in a letter to readers in the book?  I dunno.  I made it through two of the Lindsey series—like GrowlyCub, they’re still up in the attic somewhere.  But so are a lot of brown recluses.

Bujold’s Cordelia again:  “The breathtaking beauty of pain”

another good line from a favorite of mine~"Nightwatch" by Suzanne Brockmann.  Wes is telling Britt what a truly annoying kid/teen he was and how he exasperated his parents on a regular basis, but oh, his brother (who died young) was perfect etc etc.  she says something to the effect of, “It’s the annoying boys that grow up into the most fascinating men” ahhhhhhh!

Ah, the Windflower. Not my first romance novel (I can’t even BEGIN to remember what that was, likely some Candelight Romance I snuck from my mom), but my very favorite romance of all time.

I can quote large chunks of dialogue, mostly due to the fact that it is a comfort read that I indulge in several times a year if I get to feeling blue. My favorite line? It has to be when Merry is admiring the sea, and Cat says it’s just a bunch of diluted fish piss.  “I mean, if you think of all those fish, and all those centuries....”

I’m not so original going with Nora Roberts again. And it’s not so much a line as an entire scene.  My all time favorite moment in any Nora book is the sauna scene in Daring to Dream where Candy tries to knock the three women down a peg and ends up getting stuffed in a locker. I particularly love Kate’s reaction to being called a lesbian.

One line from Georgette Heyer’s “These Old Shades” has been seared into my memory...Leonie asks Avon if he remembers (errr, something I’ve forgotten), and he replies, “I remember every word you have ever spoken to me.” Swoonworthy on its own and all the more so in context, as this is (IIRC) the first indication that he thinks of her as more than his ward.

Though it’s not a traditional romance, I’ve read Elizabeth Marie Pope’s “The Perilous Gard” so many times over the past twenty years I can still quote entire conversations and descriptive passages.

Wow… it kind of horrifies me how much one person’s favorite line is another person’s purple prose.

And here’s my entry to the pot: Scarlet Pimpernel, the movie.

Armand: “So that is why you ceased to love her. What a tragedy.”
Percy: “Ceased? I shall love her till the day I day… that’s the tragedy.”

Oh, Jody, I can’t even claim they are in the attic.  They are in my office on the shelves just like all my other books… and not a brown recluse in sight to eat them either… he he.

Besides Rosemary Rogers, I think those two books were the only ones that deserve the label ‘bodice rippers’ that I’ve read.  And early RR is so far out there, even those Lindseys pale (Crowd Pleasers anyone?).

Okay, another favorite quote so we don’t dwell on the horribleness.  This one is actually not in the book but in the chronology and isn’t from a romance either.  It’s from the timeline of the Miles Vorkosigan books and describes one the books.  ‘Miles hits 30, 30 hits back’.  I’ve often felt that way regardless of which birthday it’s been… :)

La Reine Noire>

Oh, and Eunice, I too remember certain bits of The ScarletPimpernel, though there was one that made me very light-headed—Idon’t remember the exact line, but it was the conclusion of the scene inthe garden at Richmond after Grenville’s ball, and the description of Percythere still gets me every single time.

Not from memory (yeah right!) but here’s the last paragraph of that scene…
“Had she but turned back then, and looked out once more on to the rose lit garden, she would have seen that which would have made her own sufferings seem but light and easy to bear—a strong man, overwhelmed with his own passion and his own despair. Pride had given way at last, obstinacy was gone: the will powerless. He was but a man madly, blindly, passionately in love, and as soon as her light footsteps had died away within the house, he knelt down upon the terrace steps, and in the very madness of his love he kissed one by one the places where her small foot had trodden, and the stone balustrade there, where her tiny hand had rested last.”

Also in I Will Repay! (another Pimpernel book) there’s a part where Sir Percy is giving advice to a young would-be lover who calls the object of his affection a “saint”:
“And ‘twill be when you understand that your idol has feet of clay that you’ll learn the real lesson of love,” said Blakeney earnestly. “Is it love to worship a saint in heaven, whom you dare not touch, who hovers above you like a cloud, which floats away from you even as you gaze? To love is to feel one being in the world at one with us, our equal in sin as well as in virtue. To love, for us men, is to clasp one woman with our arms, feeling that she lives and breathes just as we do, suffers as we do, thinks with us, loves with us, and, above all, sins with us. Your mock saint who stands in a niche is not a woman if she have not suffered, still less a woman if she have not sinned. Fall at the feet of your idol an you wish, but drag her down to your level after that--the only level she should ever reach, that of your heart.”

Well, if we’re going with The Scarlet Pimpernel, there’s the scene where Percy and Marguerite have the huge fight outside their house and she runs up the stairs:  “Had she but turned back then, and looked out once more on the rose-lit garden, she would have seen that which would have made her own sufferings seem but light and easy to bear—a strong man, overwhelmed with his own passion and his own despair.  Pride had given way at last, obstinacy was gone; the will was powerless.  He was but a man madly, blindly, passionately in love, and as soon as her light footsteps had died away within the house, he knelt down upon the terrace steps, and in the very madness of his love he kissed one by one the places where her small foot had trodden, and the stone balustrade there, where her tiny hand had rested last.”

Eunice--great minds think alike!  Isn’t that scene incredible?!

I feel old confessing that I started with Barbara Cartland. I .... don’t .... remember .... any .... worthy dialouge, .... but .... who could forget .... her heroine’s .... sex-induced .... speech .... impediments?

Fortunately, I moved on to Georgette Heyer and discovered some truely enjoyable stories and heroines. A scene from Scarlet Pimpernel that I thought was truly romantic: after an argument in the garden the missus goes inside and he kisses the railing her hand rested on, all the way up the stairs.

Sarah Frantz> Kismet!

Also I love -Love!- Pablo Neruda’s poetry. It’s romantic and sexy at the same time

(translated to English)
“I love you as certain dark things are to be loved
In secret, between the shadow and the soul”

Okay, I’ll stop commenting now.

My college roommate was from the Netherlands and when we were depressed we would cut class and she would simultaneously translate to English from Dutch versions of Harlequin romances; we would copy good lines onto our apartment wall.  My personal favorite:  “Was there a sexy way to remove pantyhose? she wondered.”
You know, I still wonder, too.

Because of all the other Pimpernel fans here…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKFnmNgzpI4&locale=en_US&persist_locale=1

A (poorly bootleg filmed) clip from the stage musical. Somebody posted this on another board once. It gets me every time. I loved the musical and once road-tripped 3 hours to see it. If it’s ever in your neighborhood you gotta go.

Erin, that poem you like is called Pippa Passes, and there’s a lot more of it!

I love the line in one of Terry Pratchett’s Guards series books where Sam is thinking about how Sybil gives him expensive presents and then he has to figure out what to do with them, since he’s set in his ways and he’s not used to having such nice stuff. He says, “She was a woman who was out for all she could give.”

I think the first romance I ever read was Devil’s Desire by Laurie McBain.  I’ll have to get a copy and read it again.  Oh, wait, does Jane Aiken Hodge count?

Most memorable line from a romance (I think):  “With the possibility of great love comes the possibility of great pain.” I have no idea what book it came from - maybe somebody can HaBO?  I don’t think it was a very good book - in fact, I was surprised the line was in it.  And yeah, I know it’s not all that profound, but it sure as hell is true.

I am appalled that there was a sequel to Warrior’s Woman.  Dear Goddess, what was the publisher thinking about?

There are in fact two sequals to Warrior’s Woman.  The first about Challen and Tedra’s daughter who has sworn never to love a barbarian because she hates the lifestyle, only to fall into the hands of a some-what more civilized barbarian, civilization being relative here.

The other is about Challen and Tedra’s son who manages to find his wife right here on Earth in the form of a tall, stunning virginal carpenter.  There is so much wrong with these descriptions and while I’m ashamed to have read the first two, at least I skipped the third.

Oh, Bujold, my goddess.  Not a book of hers I’ve read but that I have to hide from onlookers, so they don’t catch me crying.  Or snorting a giggle, which is awkward and sometimes messy.  If I could write only half as well as her, I’d still be a pretty good writer.

“Miles, are you one-upping my dead?”

“She pours out honor like a fountain.”

“I’m my lady’s dog.”

“I’m not giving her to you [Caz], I’m giving you to her.”

I feel strongly tempted to pull out her books and start quoting them at length, but I’ll refrain.

Coming out of lurking mode to thank you all.  So many memories were brought back by much of this and so many opportunities for memories were offered.
Off to feign sickness for the next three to six days so I can lay in bed and reread all my NR yet again.

Renda

spam word reported28 As a court reporter feigning illness, that’s how many depositions won’t be reported by me!!!

Deputman - Sadly, that third book sounds familiar.  I think I started reading it on the recommendation of a librarian friend/co-worker, and eventually threw it against the wall.  Ugh.

Kushiel train - I’m on it, too.  I bought a ticket last summer and spent three weeks reading nothing but.

First romance novel - it was one of my grandmother’s Taylor Caldwell books, although I’ve forgotten the title.  Something about bees or honey, set in Rome. 

Brockmann quotes - there are a jillion, but the one that stands out (and I happen to have handy :) ) is one from a conversation between Jules and Gina, where they’ve been talking about how no one wants to acknowledge that she was held hostage and raped by terrorists, and it’s usually the elephant in the room for her.  Then she finds out that Jules is a gay FBI agent, and he says to her,

“...[M]y elephant is different than yours.  Mine’s bright purple and I like to lead him around on a leash and introduce him to people by name.”

The best SEP quote - “Oh, but there was something splendid about being kissed by a lazy man.” From Lady Be Good - the whole passage just about knocked my socks off.

Pratchett - there is a passage in Men at Arms that made me weepy and happy at the same time.  Angua (the werewolf and Carrot’s girlfriend) has been shot and killed in her wolf shape, but Carrot carries on with chasing the Big Bad anyways.  Everyone is taken aback by this, but chalk it up to Carrot being Carrot (meaning, a by-to-book sort of person).  After the Big Bad has been dispatched, he takes Angua to the morgue, cleans her up, and goes back to his room to write reports and sweep and suchlike.  Later on, the door opens and Angua comes in, alive.

“‘I wasn’t certain,’ he said.  ‘But I thought, well, isn’t it only silver that kills them?  I just had to hope.’”

It’s not a quote from the first romance novel I ever read (Jewels by Danielle Steele. I can’t remember any quotes from that) but this passage from Losing Julia by Jonathan Hull has stuck with me:

The magic of love is not that it contains all the answers, it’s that it eliminates the need for so many pressing questions.

Also, “When will the love muffins be done, Mata Hari?” from The Lovely Bones just always amuses me when I think of it.

All you people remembering passages from The Scarlet Pimpernel are making me look bad. I’ve read that book so many times and I can’t remember a specific passage to save my life. Clearly this calls for a reread.

One of my first romances was Sweet Liar by Jude Deveraux

My favorite line/scene is in Legend by Jude Deveraux
If you were with the right person, you were in the right place.  “I love you,” she whispered so softly she almost couldn’t hear herself.  But Tarik heard, becaue he paused for just a second in caressing her hair, and under her cheek she could feel the muscles of his stomach tense then release.

And I love love love the Anne of Green Gables for the romance factor in every book.
I just love that whole setting.

Not from a book but the most quotable movie of all time, The Princess Bride:

That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying “As you wish”, what he meant was, “I love you.” And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love - you think this happens every day?

And not romantic but still one of my favourite lines ever :

My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.

Ok I need to stop now or I’ll just end up quoting the whole movie.

To whoever said up there that they just finished reading Jeaniene Frost’s second book I’ll give a hearty HELL YEAH of agreement, holy hotness batman! (slight spoiler, but I don’t know how to make invisible text)

“I should assure you that in bed you have nothing to prove to me, or that I’ve never enjoyed making love to anyone more, but only a fool passes up what you just offered me. Now, I’m short on some props, and there isn’t nearly enough time in one night to run through all the ways I’ve fantasized about taking you, but I promise this… “ His voice deepened. “You’ll be scandalized in the morning when you can think again.’

Anna Lawrence & Darlene Marshall: I too worship at the altar of the Grand Georgette. These Old Shades is one of my favorite books ever. And the Grand Sophy definitely makes my top five of hers. I maintain that no one does dialogue better than her- No One.

“Charles: I should be better pleased if you would refrain from meddling in the affairs of my family.
Sophy: Now that I am very glad to know, because if I should desire to please you I shall know just how to set about it. I daresay I shant but one likes to be prepared for any event, however unlikely.” The Grand Sophy

“Andrew looked round for something to throw, and, finding nothing, relapsed once more into deepest despondency.” The Black Moth

“There is nothing like quarrelling with a pe