Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Quadraboob!! I was guilty of sporting the quadraboob during my period of denial when I went from a D to a DD.

What can be said for swamp sex? I will admit to an encounter in a somewhat questionable part of a river with my only excuse being that I was hormonally addled at the time.

Ahhh ... While I did feel sorry for Ophelia, I was never really inclined to read about her postmortem relations. Where she got the totally 80’s pink polished toes is a complete mystery.

My husband wishes I had boobs like that to worry about. I’m just thankful those aren’t my feet.

EEEEEWWWWWWW!!!  I HATE FEET!  I mean, I have a serious foot phobia.  In 10 years together I never once touched my ex-husband’s feet on purpose.  Luckily he was okay with that.  The only feet I can deal with besides my own are my children’s and as soon as they are old enough to trim their own toe nails I will be nearly as happy as I was when they were finally potty trained.  I get that most people are not as insane as I am on the subject.  I even get that some people really like feet, but those are really ugly feet.  Surely they could have found some nicer ones.  Just YUCK.

...lest he risk the sickness of his little alligator.

Thank God for Kegels or I would’ve peed my pants for sure on that line.

Then I saw the feet and almost tossed my cookies—Snarkage coming out of both ends—who knew??

*stops herself before bragging about her career as an international foot model*

There is no such thing as bad cleavage. Double boobs = twice the fun, so I don’t know what you’re talking about there, either.

But oy, the dead, ancient feet—I’m with you there. What were they thinking?

Let’s get real.  Methinks, Doug, that female romance buyers--who, let’s face it, comprise most of such novels’ readership--would much rather see exaggerated man-titty or man-crotch or man-anything (almost) than have a woman’s fatty spillage shoved in their faces.

The other book’s foot-fetish cover is only missing one thing: a toe tag.

I just showed the boob cover to my husband. His EXACT quote: “What, the tits? Nice.”

I’m amazed no one has commented on the phallic necklace pendant.  The really really tiny phallic necklace pendant.

I would so hate to see quadraboob on a man ... that would be so verra scary!

“What, the tits? Nice.”

My husband’s response was “Why are you having me look at boobs?” followed by a shrug and “Meh, yours are bigger.” Which, apparently equals better in his philosophy ... odd considering he used to of the “anything bigger than a handful is a waste” mentality before we hooked up.

Ok. This is probably my favorite Susan Elizabeth Phillips cover ever. It is for the Croatian edition of It Had To Be You. Seriously, if it hasn’t been featured yet, it should be.

http://www.svijet-knjige.com/article.aspx?articleid=1089193

Did anyone else think the SEP cover for It Had To Be You was a blatant ripoff of The Washingtonienne, by Jessica Cutler?  It’s probably been done a few times, but that’s the one it reminded me of (and there’s no double boob on that one).

Ooh!  Jo B, you’ve got a winner there!  Adam and Eve--completley with snake and really weird leaves.  Wow!

I take it the title on the dead feet is not actually—‘Kiss my ankles’ ...

JoB

JoB, all I could wonder when looking at that cover was, is that his snake or hers?

The cover of Passion au Nu was also the cover of Tempting Fate by Jaclyn Redding.  Do they recylce covers?  I guess they do.

I have serious titty envy.

*looks at 47 year old, two babies later, they were never that great to begin with boobs and sobs incoherently*

I’d go for double titty, no problem.

The alternate cover for SEP, with leafy twiddly bits, naked man and snake...well, I’m speechless.

My comment isn’t about the covers at all but the excerpt and, specifically, the bilharzia. Boy, does that take me back or what!!!

I’m serious, back in school we had an African (Senegal or Guinea? Can’t remember) biologie book and the pictures were GROSS!!!! I had to tape pieces of paper over some of the pics or I would’ve flunked the class all together…

I know the pain and horror of poor bra-fitting, so that first cover reminded me of the days when I knew nothing of my real bra size and squeezed myself in 48 and 50 C’s before finally realizing that I was a 46 DDD (you read that right; I’m a triple D).

Second one: I agree with Sarah and Candy--swamp sex doesn’t spell “romantic” to me (and neither does sex on the beach [intercourse in a beach setting, not the drink] or in the woods, but what would I know? I’m a virgin [and not a “virgin” who had sex and suddenly became celibate. I mean I have never been intimate with a guy--ever]. All I know is that if I tried that, it wouldn’t be as romantic as portrayed in films, TV, and books).

The third one--I had no idea necrophiliac foot fetishists was a fan base in the world of romance novels (at least in Germany. Germany isn’t as uptight about sex as America is).

Zeb, I was wondering about the same thing. Can anyone who has read “It Had To Be You” explain? Is the necklace described in the text?

The necklace is a whistle. It’s a football book about a bimbo (who’s actually smarter than people give her credit for) inheriting a pro-football team after her father dies.