Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Hand me a spit-up rag, I have reflux too.

I write SF(R) and, yanno, my boudoir has a giant Wookie (is that redundant?) in it.

He has his own feather boa, thanks. 

Oh wait, he is kinda furry. Does that mean it’s Fantasy?

*Snort*
Will anyone answer this one? Doubt it.

And think about it- most mid-list or starting authors will not have bedrooms of note ( I mean maybe a nice bed, but who has the $$ for a designer or anything?)

And any of the “big-name” authors wouldn’t do this to maintain their privacy- right?

Besides, in my mind’s eye- your bedroom is your sanctuary- and nobody’s darn business.

( certain23- pretty certain, Yup!)

Oh. Dear. God.
Notice the “rooms do not have to be ...stereoptyical (sic)” is quickly followed up by “extra points given for a heartshaped bed")?
Really, I have to ask: did an actual Washington Post employee send this out, and is this on the level? Because I can’t help picturing a laughing/turned-on teen boy hacking into their system to do this. *shudder*

I think it is very kind of SBTB to hide the reporter’s name, but anybody who wants it in order to send scornful e-mails, I have it.

And before you think I am being vicious, this is my hometown newspaper and I expect better of it. When I was in J-school, we all would have bled and died for the chance to work at the Post. It and the NY Times were the Holy Grails of journalism. And it was understood that you had to be the best to get hired by them. This ain’t the best.

This is a joke, right? Because if it ain’t the writer’s missing a golden opportunity to make a fortune in comedy. Holy crap, that had me laughing like a fiend!

... Also, Sarah, thanks for answering the mystery of how two small cats can have me practically falling off the end of my bed by morning. Maybe I become smaller as as they get bigger, because it defies the imagination how I can fit in the tiny sliver of space I wind up in. Maybe you’ve discovered a new kind of physics!!

Hahahaha. Highlarious. That was great (if idiotic and a little “This guy is getting PAID for this?").

If Nora Roberts does not sleep in a heart shaped bed then I will be shocked! I’m positive that it is also draped in feather boas and her pegnoir is very come-hither. She IS La Nora, after all.

Heh.

Oh please, oh please, oh please let Nora have gotten it and be preparing a pithy, refined bitch slap to this reporter.

Now, I’m just a reader, not an author, but I would think one of the greatest allure of being an author would be the whole working in my jammies thing.

What’s more sexy than flannel pajama bottoms, sweatsocks and a ratty t-shirt with holes in it?? Screw the feather boa.

~(Feel free to wrap yourself in a feather boa or come-hither pegnoir).~

Oh, for the love of black-footed ferrets!

And some are gonna go it, oh yeah, they are.

I get these requests every freaking year, and say forget it, every freaking year.

I want them to start asking crime and true-crime writers to dress up with fedoras and Tommy guns every Valentine’s Day, too, in honor of the St. Valentine’s Day massacre.

SSDY.

The “breathlessly” alone is cause for physical harm.

Gag me with a Godiva chocolate truffle… which actually might be kind of nice.

Plus everyone knows romance writers swallow.

Your bedroom certainly does not have to be “done” by a professional designer or decorator, but it should look good...

Dude. I’m lucky if the bed is made and my underwear is off the floor.

~What’s more sexy than flannel pajama bottoms, sweatsocks and a ratty t-shirt with holes in it??~

Damn straight. That’s my uniform.

Oh my holy God.

I suggest we have a Smart Bitch bedroom feature. Because despite my pink curtains, pink flowered victorian-style quilt, faaaaaabulous fuzzy cream-colored blanket (the best xmas gift I got this year), and piles upon piles upon piles of books, what really needs to be featured about my room is the fact that every horizontal surface, and several that aren’t horizontal, is covered in clothing. And cat hair. And cat-hair covered clothing.

Yeah, my boudoir is sexy.

Poison Ivy: Would you mind emailing it to me at:

I just cannot resist dropping this guy an email (I promise to not be offensive and/or rude… just a bit snarky).

I think it is very kind of SBTB to hide the reporter’s name, but anybody who wants it in order to send scornful e-mails, I have it.

Me too.

(hand54. Snort)

::vomit::

spamblocker: “inside94” yup, just totally threw up inside my mouth.

Here’s how Cat Physics works.

The weight of a feline on a bed is directly proportional to the rotation of the Earth on its axis. The further turned away from the sun your location on the Big Blue Marble is, the greater the gravity distortion in the feline’s direct vicinity, which mimics weight gain. As the sun rises, the gravity distortion rights itself.

Those String Cat Physics people, they still think it has something to do with yarn.

ugghh I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

I do have one question though. Since (according to this columnist):
**romance writers have romantical bedrooms,
**and we all know that stereotypes are across the board,
**does that mean their follow-up story will be all about the dungeons all Horror writers have instead of basements?

That shit just don’t jive, not even in Romancelandia. This deserves an OMGWTFBBQ.

*runs out and buys a heart shaped bed*

YEEEEHAW!  Maybe I can hang cowhide curtains and have tartan rugs…

Would that be too much?  I think it would scream romance!  Or maybe just scream…

I thought cat physics had to do with their ability to increase in size as well as weight. Because for all that the Snarkcat is on the big side to begin with (14 lbs...), she manages to expand exponentially to fill whatever space is available to her, without actually increasing in weight.

Also, every cat has an uncanny ability to find the exact geographic center of the bed before s/he expands to fill that space.

Ha! Verfication word: lay71. Not on my bed, if the cat’s in there.

Oh for the love of!!!

I would pull my hair out but… well, I’ve been doing that for nigh on two weeks, there’s not that much left.

Ohh… snarkhunter that would be so much fun! A Bitchery Valentine featuring our romantic and sexy boudoirs. Complete with laundry (maybe some of it dirty), cat hair, and dust all over the place. Sexy!

I wonder if Meg Cabot gets solicited for pictures of her princessy boudoir. Since it must be all about the princesses in her bedroom.

I thought cat physics had to do with their ability to increase in size as well as weight.

Gawd, I hope not. If that’s true than my 20 lb. DangerCat will indeed turn into a Wookie.

Meg works in her bedroom, according to her blog...somehow, I doubt her husband would go for the princess theme.

Then again, she does have a pink Christmas tree.

(I’m not really an author stalker. Much. I swear.)

On a serious note this does not surprise me.  The Post has been going down hill for a loooooong time.  Their idea of journalism is slapping their skewed views all over the paper and calling it fact.  When really 98% of that paper should be in the Op-Ed section.  The other 2% is the obituaries.

I’m also a reader, not a writer, but wow, was that email insulting. I sleep in a converted attic with a loose rabbit running around. I’ve got 3 other rabbits in the adjoining room.

Tres sex-ay.

(There are bunny pooties artfully scattered about at any given moment, however. My crew is litterbox trained, for the most part!)

EEEK!  I’m horrified that this was the Post.  Now the Washington Times I might understand.

My bedroom is also my living room and I have a ton of stuffed animals on my bed.  Someone might think I was a furry.

I have a ton of stuffed animals on my bed.  Someone might think I was a furry.

Only one stuffed animal gets to be on the bed (my teddy bear, Amanda, who I have had since birth, and so what if I still sleep with a teddy bear?)...but I have stuffed animals all over the room...and dolls on top of one of the bookshelves. Just the porcelain ones and the fabric ones that were made especially for me, but...yeah. It might look a teensy bit like a kid’s room.

Will you be my BFF snarkhunter? (Or maybe I should ask you to be my valentine, considering the discussion at hand.) You are just awesome.

I also imagine that Serious Writers Of Serious Fiction (like my beloved Michael Chabon) have very Serious Bedrooms. Rather like a men’s study, complete with a wet bar stocked with scotch and whiskey, an ancient typewriter (if it’s good enough for Hemingway), leather chairs and a very uncomfortable bed because Serious Writers sacrifice for their art.

I truly hope this request is tongue-in-cheek...but based on La Nora’s reply - I’m going to say no. (BTW, what’s the wackiest request you’ve had Nora & other published authors, if you don’t mind sharing?)

Honestly though, I’d love to see what Swan Hat’s bedroom looks like.

Hee! You can be my valentine, Katie W. Especially for this: very uncomfortable bed because Serious Writers sacrifice for their art

Is it Dan Brown who does push-ups after every hour that he writes? Some Very Serious Male Writer said he does this, and all I could think was that it was some manifestation of Hemingway’s need to prove how Very Manly he was in order offset the fact that he was a writer.

Of course, Serious Writers with their Uncomfortable Beds also have a steady stream of sexy, scantily-clad women drifting in and out, because you can’t be a Serious Writer unless you have Sexy Groupies.

(Do you think Joyce Carol Oates has sexy groupies?)

Holy Crap..Nora doesn’t sleep in a heart shaped bed?  I am horrified and crushed, I thought all romance writers had rooms like they described.  Just like a sci-fi writer has a bedroom that looks like the inside of a space ship?  Good gravy where do they pull this stuff from?  By the by, you say “crap” as much as I do and that is a ton!

Holy crap!

One giant leap backward for women’s rights everywhere! Good grief, can she get any more sterotypical? That is pretty sad to see something like this from the Washington Post.

Just when you thought it was safe…

It does make one shudder to think what James Joyce’s romancepad must have looked like though…

And by the way, the letter was signed by a woman.

Am I the only one pondering exactly how you’d actually sleep in a heart-shaped bed?  Where would your feet go, as the damn thing narrows down to the point?  More to the point, where the hell would the cats then sleep?  I can also foresee several problems in “getting busy” on a heart-shaped bed, too.  Hearts.  Just not a good shape for sleeping or other activities.  Unless maybe it’s shaped like a *real* heart and is kind of blobby…

But on a serious note (although I’m having a bit of fun trying to figure out how else to snark on this insulting letter).

Sadly, this sort of thing does not surprise me. I’m an avid reader of Slate and a long-time Newsweek subscriber (both owned by The Washington Post Company) and they often don’t take journalism seriously enough for my tastes. Even Newsweek is slipping a bit (ferret article notwithstanding) and it breaks my heart.

For me, the problem are the new, young journalists who are coming out of the MySpace generation because most of them come across as insufferable know-it-alls. Just like the journalist who wrote that email.

There’s also a problem with editors/experienced journalists being suckered in by the pap smear that is television media “news”. The insipid morning shows and talk shows (and I admit to watching them but they ARE usually very vapid) that give the editors/journalists the idea that THEY know what we want to read because of what we watch on television.

Basically, I think journalism is being “dumbed down” because The Powers That Be think that’s what we want. We don’t want in-depth news coverage, we want pictures of romance novelists bedrooms!

Of course, there is still good, in-depth news and feature coverage in Newsweek and newspapers across the nation. But those stories are overshadowed (for me) by the populist media idea that we are unable to consume our media unless it’s been watered down and filled with generalizations. There’s a vast disconnect between the readers of Newsweek and newspapers, and the editors/journalists of those news organizations. They are no longer in tune with what we actually WANT to read, and are instead giving us what they THINK we want to read. It’s gotten to the point where I’m almost ready to cancel my Newsweek subscription because I’m tired of being treated as if I lack a brain and basic logic and reasoning skills.

~(BTW, what’s the wackiest request you’ve had Nora & other published authors, if you don’t mind sharing?)~

God there’s been so many--this one would make the top of the list if it heads my way.

I was asked if I’d do a series of advice columns for people with romantical questions and problems. I write Romance, I must be an expert!

I am constantly asked (esp around VD) to describe the perfect date. For WHO??? I don’t date! I’ve been married 22 years.

Some time ago, I made it policy to do no VD interviews or features. Period. Just cuts this silliness off at the pass.

I have a twenty-inch high plaster bust of Michelangelo’s David in my bedroom. The squirrels who play in the tree outside my bedroom window find him fascinating. They’ll sit there and stare at him, and if I move the bust back and forth they’ll follow it with their eyes.

I’m not sure if that means that squirrels are easily entertained or that I am easily entertained.

My bedroom?  Fairly normal, I think.  Except the pistol case and ammo on the dresser.  Oh, and the rifle in the corner.  >:)
On the other hand, some women might think the uniform that’s usually draped over the foot of the bed was sexy.  If they couldn’t smell it.  And it wasn’t on their clean sheets.

Wow. Just… wow. As a fantasy/romance-ish aspiring author, they do NOT want to see my bedroom. First they’d have to brave the stacks of books I have no room for on my bookshelves. THen they see my wall of dorkdom (Snakes on a Plane Poster, a big collage of Final Fantasy 7 scenes and characters, a Legolas Poster, some random fantasy drawings, and a big huge Puss in Boots poster that just fell off my wall).

I have six betta fish in separate tanks (oooh, kinky), books all over the freaking place, cat hair everywhere, AND I have a multitude of candles.

At least I got that part right? Oh, and you can’t forget the big honkin’ sword on my dresser.

What I’m trying to say is I don’t think anybody wants to see that mess.

Yay! snarkhunter is my valentine! I’m SPECIAL, yo.

(Do you think Joyce Carol Oates has sexy groupies?)

If by “sexy” you mean “Toothless Hillbillies” (no offense to any toothless hillbillies and/or Joyce Carol Oates groupies).

Since I’m a Michael Chabon groupie, I’m voting that HE has the sexiest groupies of all. I do know that Serious Writer Dave Eggers has some surprisingly sexy groupies.

Ooh… do you think erotica writers have stripper poles and sex swings in their boudoirs? And entire rooms devoted to sex toys, of course.

“Breathlessly yours” ?  GAH!

I initially thought it was written by a guy who was looking forward to some bedroom fetish fun for himself, but Poison Ivy says it’s a woman.  So maybe it’s a gal looking for some bedroom fetish fun.  Whatever.  Either way, I’m thinking this person is going to be sorely disappointed.

Breathlessly yours?

Gag me with a spoon.

… you creative ladies ... little eassays ... WTF????

Jesus, I don’t know whether to be more upset with the pejorative tone or disappointed over the fact that a Washington Post reporter can’t spell. The outrage band, she just keeps playing.

Azteclady, I’m with you. There’s no more hair to pull out.

the problem are the new, young journalists who are coming out of the MySpace generation because most of them come across as insufferable know-it-alls. Just like the journalist who wrote that email.

Um, I disagree.  The problem is financial.  My mom had a 30+ year journalism/editorial career with years at the LA Times and most recently the SF Chronicle.  Two years ago, she opted to be bought out and went to law school.  I can’t speak for all of them but The Chronicle’s floundering.  They’re not making money, they’re not keeping the same circulation.  As a result, they’re cutting corners, which only results in a crappier product, which then results in lost readers.  Vicious cycle, hello!

“Breathlessly yours”? Someone pass her a paper bag.

No, wait, someone pass me a paper bag.  I’m the one vomiting.

Boy, would they get scared when they saw my Saint Andrews Cross, the whips and chains and the sling.

I’ll show you Romance baby! Would you like rubber or plastic ball gag?

Ooh… do you think erotica writers have stripper poles and sex swings in their boudoirs? And entire rooms devoted to sex toys, of course.

*rolls on the floor, laughing hystericall, kicking her heels up and down*

Oh, Gods, yes, yes, yes! I want to write erotica, too, can I please? Maybe it’s some sort of...if you write a book in X genre, you get a truckload of junk for your home in that genre!

And frankly, I’d rather have the stripper pole and toy room than frills and tartans *shudder*.

Someone needs to do a lolcat with “I R Seryus Awthur” on it. Srsly.

PS--Teddy Pig, I love you. Be a very special little valentine to all of us, yes? :-)

Heh. My non-spaminator word is “not23”. Well, no, I’m not, but that “journalist” person might be.... At least I hope she is!

Thanks for the reply Nora - very entertaining. (So I’ll go on a limb and guess you wouldn’t be interested in helping me plan a romantic VD evening to save my relationship, eh?)

I enjoy reading Diana Gabaldon’s page for the tidbits she will sometimes include about the things readers/interviewers ask her. I find the mental leaps society often makes between writers/actors/etc and the people themselves fascinating.

Okay, maybe we’ve had enough fun. Maybe the poor gal was trying to be entertaining, and came up with the wrong tone. Maybe she felt intimidated by addressing women who actually get paid to write what they want. Maybe she really wants to write about ferrets.

Practically speaking, the rooms we choose will probably have to be no further than 50 -75 miles from downtown Washington so we can get a Post photographer there to shoot it.

Well, drat, that probably doesn’t apply to my bedroom. Such a pity, ‘cause it’s almost carnival over here so getting a feather boa in really bright colours would have been so easy. I could have even thrown some confetti to spread some cheer!

I’ll need your real name and your nom de plume

My nom de plume? To go with the feather boa, I assume?

Gosh, doesn’t this lurvely request make you wonder what the people at the Washington Post put into their tea?

Most peculiar, that e-mail.  I, too, thought at first it must be a deliberate parody of, well, something. 

To be nitpicky, ambience is the only correct spelling of that word in British English (we would not accept ‘ambiance’) and is also an acceptable variant in American English.  The way peignoir was spelt would certainly be incorrect here, though - haven’t checked whether Americans are allowed to spell it that way.

The information about the physics of feline size/weight augmentation during the night explains a lot.  I think.

You know, I live within range for the Post...wonder if my bedroom would work. My bed isn’t heart-shaped and there is no cowboy or Victorian or Gothic theme.  Sometimes there are dirty socks on the floor or my husband’s underwear. And we all know, nothing says “Romance” like a man’s underpants.

But, oh, the publicity!  Imagine the books I could sell!  Hmm...decisions, decisions....  ;-)

What a giant stereotype!

My first thought was where do you get sheets for a heart-shaped bed? (Ever the practical one).

As J Joyces ‘boudoir’, I’m seeing a dark cave of a room, a wooden chair and a cot. Tattered curtains hang from a drafty window. Bottles of whiskey are scattered across a bare wood floor. I’m so depressed now I need to lie down.

Re: Heart-shaped beds - not that I have any experience with them, mind you :D But if I had to guess, I’d say that to sleep, you and your beloved would have to have your heads about as far apart as possible and aim your feet towards the “point.” Cats, wookies, black-footed ferrets, et. al. could then snuggle up in the space between you.  Obviously, this kind of bed encourages romance!

I see in some comments things like “spamword” or “verification word” followed by a bit of gibberish and usually a line of snark. Might someone care to enlighten the newbie, please?  :)

Speaking of newbie, I’m also rather new-ish to romance. I went through a bit of a phase in the mid 80’s, reading a number of Bertrice Small’s books, a couple, I think, by Rebecca Brandewyne, and that was set in a fantasy world and written by an author who had obviously read many of the same fantasy books I had (in particular, “The Mists of Avalon.") I say obviously because even though she didn’t copy direct passages, many of her descriptions, situations, ceremonies and plot elements came directly from these other books.  And this wasn’t in the sense of how there are always going to be similarities between fantasy-based novels.  This was the kind of thing where both books had young heroines taken away to a special island that required a certain ceremony to reach, both heroines were raised in woman-centric communities, both communities marked elevation to adulthood with a tattoo of a crescent moon on the forehead made with a natural blue dye that would have to be reapplied periodically or it would face out, and both heroines were presented with little sickle knives… yadda and so forth.

It’s kind of iron how serious borrowing drove me away from romance 20 years ago, and now I found this place because of the Cassie Edwards mess and find myself wanting to start reading again.  LOL

At any rate - back to the bedrooms - the assumptions in that letter truly are insulting.  If I were to decorate my room by the kinds of books I read the most, it’d be a pretty weird place, since my topics of choice tend to be Vikings, real-life scandals and spy stories, true crime, dark fantasy and more Vikings :)

Sorry to ramble on so much - nice to meet you all, and I hope to chat with you more!

It sounds like they are either trolling for Barbara Cartland clones or Elvira Mistress of the Dark in fishnet stockings.

Either way, I have to resist the gag reflex.

BTW, when I hear feather boa I don’t think romance I think of bloody ambushes. That’s because I come from the Harry Potter fandom and one straaaange acronym created on the Harry Potter for Grown Ups list serv was

F.E.A.T.H.E.R.B.O.A.S. (Foaming Enthusiasts of Ambush, Torture, and Hostility, Embracing Really Bloodthirsty Operations And Savagery)

Think of that when you stroke the feathers on your boa. BWAHAHAHAHA.

Here’s how Cat Physics works.

Those String Cat Physics people, they still think it has something to do with yarn.

WOW! So that explains it!  And here I thought my cat was just eating too many treats and licking too many tuna cans.  You smart people are so cool!!

So does having a cat on the bed constitute a Romantic Bedroom?  After all she is a...nope, I won’t say it. *snicker*

After getting over my first reaction, I think the SB ought to send the author a link to these comments, perhaps with a little breakdown on the demographics?

I’d enjoy reading about any potential comeuppance… from my heart-shaped bed.

I think journalism is being “dumbed down” because The Powers That Be think that’s what we want. We don’t want in-depth news coverage, we want pictures of romance novelists bedrooms!

This isn’t anything new, though. Have you seen this the photo of Rosemary Rogers, from 1981?

http://img167.imageshack.us/img167/6527/lolcatrer2lr2tf1.jpg

There ya go Kaite, the awthur on her bed. lol

I never imagined romance authors bedrooms as being romantic..I always assumed they’d have piles of books, papers ,empty redbull cans and some poor exhausted guinea pig male in there.

Joyce Carol Oates was my college graduation speaker. I’ve never read anything by her, but your description of what her bedroom “would” be like explains why her speech perhaps wasn’t perfectly suited for a very liberal women’s college.

That letter is hi-larious, and I think my boss would have fired me if I had written anything like that ever. I have one theory to explain why the author wrote this. She’s obviously hoping that this attempt at a story is so horrible that she’ll be canned before she has to write next month’s article on “The Scents of the D.C. Metro.”

Gah!  That makes me want to yark, all over place. 

That request was made by a writer for the Washington Freakin’ Post?  Wanting to see into the *bedrooms*—not offices or studios or writing spaces—of writers?  That’s effing twisted.

More than delusional, it’s voyeuristic, invasive, and presumptive.  And it speaks volumes of that writer’s respect for romance writers,… and women in general.

Yeesh.

Hey, mister, throw me something.

Hee.  Now I’m wondering what my favourite authors’ bedrooms would have looked like.  Vonnegut’s all full of apathetic heroes and unused semicolons.  Civilised Tolkein’s bedroom a riot of mythic swords and soused dwarves.  Of course, Elizabeth Peter’s bedroom must be full of mummy cases. 

I love those photos - especially the writers playing dressup. It makes them seem so human.

Lorelie wrote:

Um, I disagree.  The problem is financial.  My mom had a 30+ year journalism/editorial career with years at the LA Times and most recently the SF Chronicle.  Two years ago, she opted to be bought out and went to law school.  I can’t speak for all of them but The Chronicle’s floundering.  They’re not making money, they’re not keeping the same circulation.  As a result, they’re cutting corners, which only results in a crappier product, which then results in lost readers.  Vicious cycle, hello!

Fantastic point, Lorelie! I’m more familiar with the Gannett Corp. than the Wash. Post and boy, your comment describes Gannett very well. Our local Gannet-owned newspaper is obsessed with the money game and is producing, as you said, a crappy product. I can’t even bring myself to pick up the local paper because I get so mad at the shoddy reporting and vapid article topics. My friends keep urging me to write (freelance) for them again but then I’d have to read the awful thing and I just can’t do it. Gannett is killing the dailies and it’s disgusting.

And I’m grateful to be enlightened about the SF Chronicle. I’ve been wondering what’s happened to them since I used to adore their paper and now… eh. Still a good paper but nothing like it used to be. So sad.

Laura Vivanco wrote:

This isn’t anything new, though. Have you seen this the photo of Rosemary Rogers, from 1981?

(Sorry for broken link.)

That’s partially my point but I didn’t explain it very well. This whole letter stinks of being from the 80’s and I just can’t believe that people are STILL buying into such old (and flat-out wrong) stereotypes. I thought the information age was supposed to break DOWN stereotypes, not build them up again.

The person who made that request must be confusing *lifestyle* with *livelihood*.

And it speaks volumes of that writer’s respect for romance writers and readers of romance.

wv “state12”—yeah, that’s the state of journalism today, with the maturity level of a 12 year old [no offense to *real* 12 year olds]

OMG, hilarious.

This is why I keep to myself.  The amount of sheer and utterly gag-inducing idiocy in the world is simply baffling.  It’s as if the whole world has become Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.

I wonder if they’ll do a spread for readers?

So who’s going to fight me for the right to have the little black-footed ferrets frolicking across the heart-shaped bed?  Because that is so going in my picture submission.  Maybe with some pink, frilly curtains to keep it classy.  And a unicorn (he can wear the mandated fuzzy boa). 

I am so going to win.

I already have a ferret, so there!

Let me see what else…

dirty laundry: hmmm okay not too much of that, but enough to answer yes.
cat: actually, three of those.
books: on every available surface, yup.
computer: indeed.
unmade bed: naturalement.

I’m set, then this idjit over!

ugh… that last line? should be “SEND this idjit over”

That’s what I get for trying to be witty *off to my corner to indulge in some self pity*

Call Rosemary Rogers, she still looks fabulous and has been known to pose on her satin-draped bed for past interviews.

“..Either way, I’m thinking this person is going to be sorely disappointed...”

I agree with Nora - probably not. Who are we kidding - free publicity in the Post? Someone will jump.

But what will be interesting to see is if in the crime section there is an article about about a crazed author who sticks up a local “love” motel and makes off with a heartshape waterbed and lava lamp.

Now that would be a story.

PS - thanks for the debrief in cat physics - suddenly it all makes sense.

As an editor I have MY romantic retreat decorated with the bodies of writers who have missed their deadlines.

They’re hung on the walls in tasteful heart-shapped motifs.

That’ll teach ‘em.

<>

He must have given the unused ones to Diana Gabaldon.  God knows I love her stuff and am beyond obsessed with the Outlander series, but the woman uses semicolons the way LKH uses commas:  often incorrectly and with total abandon.

I sleep on an Aerobed since I traveled and moved so much the past few years (and plan to keep doing more of the same).

Think they’d want a picture of that? After all, nothing says HOT like a blow-up mattress!  :D

I swear...people really are idiots sometimes....

Snort, barf. I think my bedroom would qualify, let’s see clothes on the extra bed, floor, books everywhere, things I haven’t bothered to put away on the floor. Yup real sexy.

Where’s my pink hat with its flouncy feather...oh wait, I don’t OWN one.
Let alone a heart-shaped bed.

What this reporter should visit are a few home offices belonging to romance writers, to see how dedicated, sincere, and, erhh, NORMAL romance writers are.

Cuz we are, after all, writers.
Just like REPORTERS.

>>sheesh<<

If I were a betting type, I would bet some writer will do this, on the theory that any publicity is better than none.  It won’t matter what their writing is like.  No one will care.  They’ll probably get on “Good Morning America” afterwards.

(I cannot believe how unprofessionally that pitch letter read!  Perhaps it was assigned to an intern?)

I think the li’l kid sleeping bag at the foot of my bed adds a tremendous amount of sexiness to my bedroom. (It’s for when the 7 yo joins us in the middle of the night and neither the DH or I want to bother with carrying him or sending him back downstairs to his own room)…

Yep. Screams “Sexy Romantic Bedroom” don’t it?

What do you want to bet that his/her only research thus far has been to watch the movie She Devil a half dozen times?  Heart-shaped bed?  Seriously?

WTF?  Do we get to rent a cabana boy to be in the picture too?

I think the romance writers need their own version of Real People’s Houses, a photgraphic expose of the real, in case anyone was getting confused by media stereotypes. http://www.flickr.com/groups/messyhome/pool/

I blogged about the dismissive crap romance writers have to put up with yesterday… but it’s odd this came up today. 

READ IT HERE

Anyway, they could come see my bedroom but they’d have to put up with Ahmed sprawled across the bed scratching bits you don’t want to see and telling them to “buggeroff” every time they walk between him and the TV.

On a slightly sexy note he has a nice accent, gorgeous eyes, and does call it “the telley” if that helps.

You could always make her job easier and just send them this link:

http://www.paigecuccaro.com/html/the_cave.html

It has pictures of a lot of famous romance writer’s offices on it including Susan Elizabeth Phillips. LKH, etc.  OK, it’s not bedrooms, but it might do in a pinch.

Jeez, you guys are slobs!

Note to self: Go make up your bed.

Nora Roberts called us slobs!

We’re such special slobs.

(And what’s this making up your bed thing that she’s talking about? Must be some sort of strange code....)

Gah, I have a Chinese opium bed decorated with cats and A: a stuffed camel; B: a stuffed teddy bear and C: a stuffed horsie. Plus Xmas lights because I like to glow. I guess that makes me Chinese, an opium addict, and a furry.

Theresa,

Thanks for posting that link to the writers’ “caves”.  I always get a charge out of seeing how other writers have set up their lonely writer’s garrets.

I’ve got a cozy little space that serves multiple-duty for music, meditation, and writing:  a 20 gallon aquarium full of tetras and loaches; 2 of my 5 1/2 guitars; 3 cram-packed bookcases; a lovely Myanmar Buddha for focus; and an 8-foot long chalkboard [and bukkets full of sidewalk chalk].

~ sigh ~

I lurves my little ‘Buddha Room’.

But whenever my lovely S.O. and I get a case of cabin fever, we bag up our laptops and head over the Highland Pub for a pitcher of Ruby [yum!].  A change of scenery can to wonders for getting the Muse to open up,… and it’s a great opportunity to observe the patrons and work on character studies and dialogue.

word verification:  common34—sorry, neither.

*giggles* at TeddyPig - what, no inverted crosses or spreader bars?

Sounds like those nutjobs at the Post think you’re all Barbara Cartland.

There’s no way I could take a photo of my bedroom and send it out to be SEEN. I can’t even find the bed under the dog hair not to mention the three dogs.

My bookshelves are littered with skulls, bats, candles and strange sexual torture devices that ALL romance writers own…

The comments are even more fun if you read them with the OTHER meaning of “VD” in mind.

I, of course, being a Mole, live in a burrow.  I guess the only people who might find it romantic and sexy might be wildlife biologists and journalists.  Oh, Paaaauuuullllll.....

I have one stuffed toy on my bed (the mole collection is stashed where hopefully the cats can’t get at them)--a very fluffy, for some reason, platypus.  The even-fluffier bimbo cat likes to climb on top of it and do things unlawful to utter to it.

Incidentally, cat physics experts, can you tell me why the weight increases when they lie on top of me?

I do actually have a scarlet feather boa, but it’s part of the outfit of a plush toy cat wearing a red hat and a purple dress.

The Tigress is an expert on Bronze Age jewelry, so no doubt her bedroom is heaped with it.

Shall I redecorate mine to match my interest in true crime?

Barbara Cartland at home:

http://www.birminghamuk.com/go/images/barbaracartland_m.jpg

http://bp1.blogger.com/_uZtk_npJu94/Rx79cwZSprI/AAAAAAAAANA/SUFN5XeTNGg/s1600-h/barbaracartland.jpg

Thanks to Smart Bitches and the ‘journalist’ who issued that kind invitation, I’m off to pitch a new reality show to the networks.
Move over, “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”. I’m proposing “Extreme Makeover: Author’s Bedroom Edition”.
I figure for the first season, we can concentrate on romance authors. I mean, lots of pink and red. Heart-shaped beds. Oversized in-room Jacuzzi tubs. Maybe a ceiling mirror or two. And NO real lighting; only candlelight will suffice.
Bound to be a hit, right?
Now I’m off to throw out my regular bed, all my books, my desk and computer, my lamps.
And coffee? Pshaw. I’m starting my mornings with champagne from now on.

Sorry, I got lost at the heart-shaped bed, wondering where you could possibly buy sheets for it.  And, hey, it’s cold (even here in California) and heating oil is expensive.  Sweats rule.

Why doesn’t the guy realize that for many of us, our bedrooms are filled with books?  (As is the rest of our abode, of course.)

I was just thinking about the fact that all artists, be they writer, artists, musicians or otherwise, are eccentric. The eccentricity comes from the craft as the craft comes from the eccentricity. That being said, I noticed my theatre fiend friend looks absolutely normal on the outside while I look like I’m trying to emulate Captain Jack Sparrow with the amount of eye make up, hair beads and jewelry I’ve made for myself. However, I’m relatively quiet and a bit of a loner while she will just go out and act like a complete dork for no other reason than it makes her giggle. I wear it on the outside, she wears it on the inside. XD (Her ambition in life is to bear sons and raise them as Spartans and she is a ghost magnet, what can I say? Me? I’m the sort that watched slasher films when I was six. >.> )

So that all being said, I’m an aspiring artist, writer and a musician. I draw comics and write when I don’t feel like drawing and bitch at bad fanficiton writers for their bad grammar and spelling when I don’t want to either. I just recently moved so the grand majority of our (my grandparents and I) house is still in boxes and piled other places. My room? HAH.

On one wall, there is an “old” map of the Caribbean in a blonde wood frame. There is also a red and green silk chinese wall scroll, both of these came from my great grand parents’ house, and three chinese fans that, one had been given to me with a massive split down the center that I fixed with scotch tape, and two I bought. (The taped up one is faded and has a woman playing an instrument, the one I bought at the arts and crafts mecca in Houston has a woman kneeling down next to pond with a horse behind her and the one I bought at World Market has a woman in a red gown playing a harp of sorts.) This same wall has my bed slightly off from it, which is covered in a sort of Indian bohemian vivid pink and gold pattern with a shimmery patchwork looking Indian-bohemian mess of a comforter that matches it, as well as a pillow case with Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist on it. There is also a book case with all my binders with my comic pages in them and my DVDs with a My little pony on top next to an angel, a turtle shell from my pet turtle and a statue of bastet.

The wall with my door on it has some of my artwork that I’ve printed out and some old stuff I did in highschool plastered onto it as well as an FMA calender and my friend Jerry Gonzales III’s artwork that he gave all his friends our senior year in highschool.

The wall with my closet on it has a large clock on it, a CATS poster, a Sailor Moon poster, an Egyptian archeology caledner and my dresser which has a basic treasure trove on top of it, simply because I’m too lazy to put the “gold” collectable coins away. I have a bookcase standing on top of the dresser that is weighed down with only a small portion of the manga I’ve bought over the years as well as my old CD player, a dragon statue, a stuffed turtle from doing an adoption of a sea turtle, the dolls I have made of Alphonse and Edward Elric, my own character AStra Knight as well, little plushies of Erik the phantom of the opera and Winry from FMA and Brave HEart Lion. Jean-Luc Picard stands on the top shelf with a violin in his hand next to a stone statue of Bastet and a glass covered statue of Bastet, a Brazilian wood jaguar and turtle (also from my great grandpa’s house) and a porcelain unicorn. Perfume bottles from BAth and Body works, a stuffed unicorn, a stuff wolf (also an adoption), and a fake raccoon skin hat from playing for Crockett’s birthday in San Antonio.

Last wall has a Hogwarts banner, a native american indian picture, Sweeny Todd poster (I lust after Johnny Depp), a maddened scotsman with a battle axe and wearing a ripped kilt in a picture and three pictures of Sara Pezinni and Jackie Estacado of Witchblade and The Darkness fame and a plastic sword leaning against the wall between my CD racks/book case and my TV table.

now, put in there a bunch of boxes at the foot of my bed I have to fight to put my bed covers onto my bed for, my wish bear and teddy bear on the floor because they’d fall down the space between my bed and the wall if I put them on my bed, a couple pairs of shoes on the floor, a box of inkjet paper to draw on and wires to gadgets out the ass everywhere, yeah that’d be my room.

Now if you want coordination, my bathroom is that. It’s a total homage to my hogwarts house Gryffindor minus the rampant lion and anything wizard related in there. xD Red egyptian cotton towels, a red floor mat and red and gold shower curtains. I am STYLIN’! XD

spamfoiler - entire47. I just gave a huge unnecessary description that no one will probably read anyway. Yeah, that was useless.

Well I’m a secretary and my bed is done up to look like a giant computer, and my wardrobe is a giant stationery cabinet.

Question, why make your bed when you’re just going to sleep in it again?

Anyways, unless I turf the assorted felines out of my bed, it won’t ever be made (and you don’t want to ever move a comfy cat, nuh uh, a moved cat is a grumpy cat...and that’s very bad.)

I don’t have cats or spit up rags, but I have laundry, laundry, and you guessed it more laundry. Followed by books and masive amounts of paper.
I also have a dog who weighs 12 pounds but has to sleep on my head. I also have moose on my sheets.
Nothing says sexy like moose covered flannel sheets. Except reindeer covered flannel jammy pants.
Watch out I write romance. LOL

I need to remember NOT to read this blog while at work.  It’s just bad news.  :D

I may be a romance writer, but that doesn’t mean I like the color pink.  Ugh!  Blue, definitely.  Pink makes me think of Pepto-Bismol.

This article makes me think of a bedroom done on Trading Spaces years ago.  Sure the room was for a 14 year old girl, but it ended up looking like a sultan’s palace.  Maybe that one would work?

Cowgirl.  Funky.

...

I’m not going to bother touching the whole “not bothering to run even a spell check on a mass email to writers” aspect.

Hey, I make my bed, even if it requires tossing both cats and receiving the patented “evil-cat-glare”. I’ve found that a soft fleece blanket folded at the foot will coax the (hair littering) beasties to sleep down where they belong, most of the time.

I even wear cute little night gowns.  Cold?  That’s what the hubby’s for.  After 20 years he’s even quit screaming while warming my icy toes.

As for the rest...yeah.  Haven’t seen the top of my dresser since shortly after we moved in, it’s become the home of photo and video bits & pieces...for the kids;).  The edge of jacuzi tub is the half-way house between clean clothes and the laundry bin.  And, we’re not even going to mention floors and books.

Those whiney newspapers...get a clue finally, print some real news and people might buy your papers.  Personally I’m tired of having someones political and social agenda shoved down my throat in the name of “news”.  PS our local papers are widely considered to be uniformly awful.

Feather boas in the bedroom...don’t we call those cat toys?  The slobbery remains soon to join the car hair and dust bunnies.

Just want to say that my bedroom looks like a bedroom-sized version of one of those hats that fly-fishermen wear. You know, the kind where they stick everything they don’t have vest-pockets for? Ooh, and the eighteen square inches of unoccupied floorspace really showcases the brown, 80s textured carpet. Now that is hot.

Former journalist here (who, last time she left a comment on this blog was misidentified in the ensuing WashPost article).

Many years ago, I wrote a feature about a local romance novelist for my newspaper. My editor refused to let me use the phrase “New York Times Bestselling Authors) in reference to several other local romance authors who were, in fact, New York Times Bestselling Authors, because, and I quote, if he hadnt’ heard of them, there is no way they were NYT bestsellers.

The edit also put in a lot of the “bodice ripper” and other generic cliche’s, changed the title to “My Randy Valentine” (WTF?!?!?!?!?!) and the photog asked the author if she would pose in a boa. She didn’t.

This kind of thing doesn’t surprise me at all. And even though the letter has been roundly ridiculed on our local chapter loop, I bet someone will bite.

Me, I’ve put a moratorium on articles since the last person to interview me for the paper started out with, “You went to Yale, you must have read all the classics. So why are you writing THIS?”

*dies laughing*

Yeah, a second-hand bed that was one of the major battlefields of the Sexual Revolution, with 35 year old Peanuts sheets and msimatched pillowcases.

A shredded lavender prom dress, bespattered with blood, and a plastic tiara (I was queen of Zombie Prom).

An Epona banner.

Piles of fabric, boxes of yarn, a giant oval mirror.

The walls are half forest green, half white, and the border between is on upside down.  The miniblinds are broken because the cats sit on the window sills.

Milk-crate nightstand holding reading piles that include Star Wars fanzines and craft books (crafter porn!)

A large Darth Vader head full of SW action figures.  Also, a Kenner Millennium Falcon.

A closet full of boardgames, from the antique (Charlie’s Angels) to the obscure (Arkham Horror)

Nothing says romance like laundry and hobbies.

~don’t we call those cat toys?~

Some of us have big, sloppy dogs. And chew ropes.

Some of us have big, sloppy dogs. And chew ropes.

Note to self: “Chew” is not to be read as a verb.

Heart-shaped bed and sheets:
http://www.ecomattress.com/heartbed.html

Just in case anyone is eager to be stereotypical.

“Some of us have big, sloppy dogs”
Yes.
Who weigh more than we do, and sleep on the bed.
And shed.
And leap to vociferously insult passing dogs who dare pass by on the sidewalk at two in the morning, and howl along with passing sirens, and slobber dog snot on the windows.

Ummm. I write erotic romances for Ellora’s Cave. The househunk and I have been married forty years. The sexiest thing in the bedroom is my e-reader. We’ve never slept on a heart shaped bed… maybe we should try that on our Valentines Day trip?

Our bedroom is his office. Computer. Electronic junk. Desk. No toys. No swings. No cuffs or leather. No ropes.

Geez, now I feel like a failure.