Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Bring on the multi-penes

Hey, I just saw a manga with that!  Although if they have more than 2 penii, they do tend to be tentacles.  Too hard to draw Swiss Army dicks, I guess.  Cluster cocks? Multi-wangs?

Does this explain why were-people are so popular?  And vampires, and aliens, and other non-humans?

Swiss Army dicks

Best description EVER.

Morgan Hawke’s Interstellar series has multi-penes. I loved those, but I think I’ll stick with creativity with a single johnson.

And sentient paranormal/fantasy creatures are exciting for just that reason--the human body can only do so much, so we eliminate the human-ness and go to town! I like aliens with dexterous tails, myself. Tentacles are funky weird to me.

(and I’m rolling at the phrase “Swiss army dicks”!)

Nothing compares to tree sex, hermaphrodites in love and a box of chocolate anus. Bring it on I say!!
More penises the better ;)

I’m still waiting for the amorphous blob sex, wherein the blobs merge into each other and spray apart at the climactic moment.  Leaving icky goo covering the walls.  Eventually they have to reconstitute and return to whatever blobby thing they were doing before hand.

SPOILER!!!!

There’s already a multi-penis erotica. Elizabeth Amber’s Nicholas in the Lord of Satyr series. That first chapter is definitely something to remember. :)

E

Hmmm...multi-penes, amorphous blob sex, swiss army dicks… I’m now inspired
to write “Martian Billionaire and Virgin Mistress” (after all, the human billionaire can only
do so many things).

Viva la New E!

The human body can only do so many things

Somehow forgetting that EC’s bestsellers usually include non-humans.

Spamfilter: sure23.  Yes, I’m sure, and I was 23 when I sold to EC (okay, when I subbed; the sale took a little longer).

“Forbidden Fantasies—featuring some of Ellora’s Cave’s premiere writers, including Black and Cheyenne McCray. “Unlike our other anthologies, this work is brand-new and has never been released before,” says Nuding”

Sure. Brand new work that I wrote in December of 2004 when I was still writing for EC. It’s only taken them 4 years to get that hardback out.

My word is hard17. Interesting…

If I remember correctly...Forbidden Fantasies was originally contracted in 2003. So that would be 5 years to get it out. Doesn’t that make you feel better, Chey?  : )

Some of the new erotica, is nothing but a cover for no plot development whatsoever. Even Unmasqued by Colette Gale, a “sequel” to the Phantom of the Opera, I would have liked much better if some form of fairly raw sex did not clutter up the story every 3 or 4 pages. Rape, abuse and rarely love...how this could be classified as a romance is beyond me.

I don’t care how much and what kind of sex is in a book, but if you take the sex out totally there still had better be a story line. Otherwise I can’t be bothered.

A whole article on erotica with no mention of Emma Holly?  Am I missing something here?  She was writing two men and a woman almost a decade ago, and her new books are doing at least as well as the others mentioned.

My code is hell66.  Not quite sure how to take that one.  I guess it’s better without the third 6, though [eg].

That long JC? LOL. Definitely feels like forever ago.

Things that were shocking five years ago—anal sex, ménage à trois—have now become vanilla.”

Yep, and speaking of

Bring on the multi-penes!

SPOILER!!!!

There’s already a multi-penis erotica. Elizabeth Amber’s Nicholas in the Lord of Satyr series. That first chapter is definitely something to remember. :)

Yeah and in one of her books, one of the penises isn’t just on the man.  I like erotica, but I have a wall.  And that one was it.

Yeah and in one of her books, one of the penises isn’t just on the man.  I like erotica, but I have a wall.  And that one was it.

OMG - LOL. My wall is when the penis or vagina is on some ophidian creature (snakes make my skin crawl).

Well, PW still hasn’t quite gotten it, but I give them many kudos for trying.

My favourite fantasy novels *ever* (seriously) are the War of Powers books by Robert E Vardeman and Victor Milan.  They were published by Playboy in the 1980s, and have bipedal lizard baddies with two penises.  Being written for Playboy, they have a mandatory sex scene every so many pages, but they also have truly kick-ass female characters and are generally brilliant.  I’m constantly sad that they’re out of print and I can’t buy copies for everyone I know.

That is a great quote. And while I’m all for a little adventure and fantasy, I have to admit to almost getting bored with the whole paranormal thing except in rare cases such as P.F. Kozak’s Take Me There. It has to be one of the best books I’ve read this year.  I’m not so much for the shape shifters, or the lizard people and the idea of multiple penises has just too much of an ick factor for me.