Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Is the second book about a vampire?  Certainly looks as if he is about to take a big bite out of her.

Also, correct me if I’m wrong but I think she’s going commando.

How can you tell? The girl (who looks like she could be the guy’s teenage daughter) is wearing a long skirt. If it were a short skirt (preferably a mini), it’d ride up and we’d see whether or not she’s going commando.

Marriage Miracle Man has skinny legs, but whoo damn, I’m diggin’ her shoes.

Based on the outline of her butt cheeks, I’d go with either commando or a thong.

How can you tell?

No VPL in a white satin dress? Gotta be commando or a “nude” butt-floss thong. Or possibly an old-lady girdle, pulled up to the chest and down to her knees.

But their expressions say “commando”.

OMG, I JUST POSTED MY 400TH COMMENT!

When I post comment 500, I want to win something, dammit.  I’ll need the consolation prize since I’ll have spent so much time here I won’t have a new book getting published.

But their expressions say “commando”.

Well, appearances can be deceiving. What if she has on a skimpy, butt floss thong on--could explain why they’re far away from the church (so as not to make the preacher, the religiously conservative congregation, and baby Jesus cry with her lustful, unladylike dress).

And what’s the anorexi-chick wearing in the second cover. A sarong? A towel to cover up her skeletal body? My missing tablecloth?

I’m totally disturbed by the Miracle Marriage chick’s Carol Brady hairdo.

And the groom’s legs look like they were an afterthought...like they were photoshopped on from another picture.  Maybe that’s the miracle...he had a total lower body torso transplant after a tragic accident...in which case, he probably shouldn’t be carrying her because he’ll pop his stitches or something.

he had a total lower body torso transplant after a tragic accident

oooh… Maybe it’s one of those stories where she’s his physical therapist. After the transplant, the doctors say he’ll never walk again. He is sunk in bitterness and despair until she comes into his life with her shining spirit and winsome ways. 

They fall in love, but he resolves never ever to tell her since he believes that unless he can walk her down the aisle like a “real man” he is unworthy of her pure luurrrve.

But he manages to compromise her in a complicated scenario involving a busy-body neighbour and therapeutic hot oil massage and so is forced to propose. Secretly, because of his feelings of unworthiness, he resolves to force her to break things off with him by behaving like a heartless bastard.

Nonetheless, inspired by the example of some children in a hospital ward, he continues with his therapy all the while knowing he will never fully recover. Then, on the day of their wedding, he explains that he can never marry her for he loves another. She flees, sobbing, from him into the path of an oncoming combine harvester.

But this emergency provides the final impetus, and miraculously, he leaps from his chair to save her. Then he confesses all and sweeps her into his arms and carries her down the aisle.

Dunno where her knickers went.

If I remember correctly, the blue guy in Gabriel’s Ghost did have six fingers. He’s got those extra alien parts. (Don’t know about other parts besides fingers, though.)

Commando lady’s shoes are huge. She could use those as lethal weapons later, when the kids come. Like Eddie Murphy’s mom- throw them like boomerangs until they hit the offending kid, then they’ll sail right back to her.

There’s more wrong with the anorexic woman’s arm than being skinny. It’s way, way too short for the size of her head, too. Most elbows bend pretty near your waist. Hers seems to be bending just under her boobs. So it’s skinny AND deformed…

EvilAuntiePeril - I’ve read that book

Her Last Defense clearly has to do with smoking the crazy-weed.  Chica is way stoned.  Look at those eyes!

And glad to see I’m not the only one who looked at the first cover and said, “Whoa, what happened to his legs?” There have been a lot of stories about the commando running off with a toothpick, but I believe this is the first time the toothpick’s been the guy.

Third cover?  All I can say is… huh?

Wait a minute..."Her Last Defense” got nominated for a RITA? I read that book. The hero in that book should be nominated for the Most-In-Need-Of-A-Friggin-Clue award. He was neither her last defense, not her only hope. He just got in the way. *sigh*

Hey, Folks!

Interesting takes on GABRIEL’S GHOST cover. As Linnea’s publicist, though, I felt the need to come in and defend the book - remember - you can’t judge a book by its cover.  :coolgrin:

Oh, and Ren is far from gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  :cheese:

Thanks, all!
Carla Arpin :)
CSA ONLINE PUBLIC RELATIONS

Oh my f’ing GAWD!!!!!!!!  You’re killing me with this latest round of covers.  Between coked up baldwins and A-ooo-gah!  MERCY!