Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Allllll par for the course.  And it gets nuttier before the week is out.

It sounds...terrifying.

All I can say is: you don’t get that on this side of the pond.  Although I’d dearly love to see the Mr Romance pageant at the Oxford Literary Festival.

*sigh Staff Sergeant W---
Congratulations on finding a real Hero for us romance lovers.
Oh, and for the update from the conference!

Thanks for the report. See...I always thought I’d feel a little like that and that has been a big contributor in my decision to hold off on attending RT. I love hanging with romance writers and readers, but I’m not so big on the mantitty. The one time I went to a male strip club when I was eighteen, I spent the entire time hiding behind my drink (um...non alcoholic of course since I didn’t have fake Id, ehem), praying the guy wouldn’t come shake the schlong in my face.

But like you said, I realize that’s just me. If everyone else is enjoying themselves and having a great time, more power to them. I’m never one to rain on a parade, even one that trips my “I think I just took some crazy pills” switch.

Anna J. Evans

I was going to say, it sounds like the cons I go to, where gamers rub elbows with furries, and cranky Urban Fantasy pioneers sit on panels with Eager Young Authors, and stormtroopers pose for pictures with Galadriel.

I may have to give RT a try, when I actually get a print novel out. Or is this another GLBTQ Authors NOT Welcome type of romance convention?

Have a blast.

It sounds like something I’d have a blast at--but then I’ve always wanted to attend some sort of sci-fi con, too.  I know I wouldn’t be dressed appropriately for either, but it sure would be interesting to see!  (Besides, I was in the SCA for years, so how much more out there could it be? :) )

Thanks for the report!

And here I was thinking it might be fun to attend RT in the future. Um… I would be like you, walking around with a perpetual WTF look on my face.  Wow.  Thank God for SSC W.  le sigh!

I always thought it might be fun (in a former anthropology student sort of way) to attend an RT convention.  I think it’s probably better just to read about it.  If Sgt Will’s wife writes for the publisher I think she does (Dark Castle Lords), he is a good sport.

First of all, SSG Will sounds like a really great guy. What a way to spend his time home.

Second of all, one little thing seriously reduces my desire to participate in the madness that is RT - “God Bless the USA.” I hate that song. Hate it. I have a tendency to get up and walk out whenever it’s played. All because of one line in the chorus, ‘the men who died.’ That’s right, all those women who have served in the military and died for America? They don’t count. Sorry, personal trigger of mine.

Otherwise, sounds like fun in an over-the-top sort of way. More power to those who like cheerful pandemonium and mantitty.

Sarah, I was chuckling while reading your post.  Then I got to the “It’s like a Bar Mitzvah, only everyone’s older than me.” LMAO! 

And I needed a good laugh this morning too.  One child home from school unexpectedly today (says he is sick, but I think he is faking because he didn’t finish all his homework). 

Thanks!  And LOVE the new website look!!!

Wasn’t it RT last year where there was a massive hoohaa over a GBLT author who’d paid for promotions and had them taken down?  The hotel didn’t like them, or something.

Oh yes, forgot to say:  I’ve never been to an RT convention.  But if John DeSalvo (My Favorite Cover Model) is planning to attend next year - Count me in!

I’ve never been but have been warned that if I do, I need to keep a few feet from the mantitty.  Nice clothes.  Body oil.  Nuff said.

SandyW, remember that when “GBtUSA” was written and recorded (1984), women weren’t really anywhere close to the front lines - as a rule. There was the occasional pilot, nurse, support staffer, etc. who got caught in the cross-fire. Yes, now more women have now made the supreme sacrifice, as have many more men. VA hospitals now have more women patients and the service organizations who serve and support the military are slowly making the adjustments needed. Change in vernacular and mind set doesn’t happen overnight. My husband is a disabled veteran. Friends of my daughter (bright, wonderful young women AND men) are serving with distinction in the war zones and here at home. I still catch myself saying servicemen.

Pardon my soapbox for a moment. I don’t give a flip if anyone supports the war or not but by everything honorable, I hope they support our troops. I remember troops returning from Viet Nam being spit on and worse. I would hope that we’ve matured as a country since then, but I’m not sure we have.

Unless Ellora’s Cave books have changed a lot, I do find the juxtaposition of patriotism and blatant eroticism a bit...jarring. Interesting. But that’s what it this all about and what so many people don’t get. Freedom isn’t free - it’s paid for by blood, sweat, and tears. RT gets to happen (along will all the other fandom cons), we get to read (and write) the books we want because we live in a land that’s free.

*looks sheepish* *climbs down from box* Uhm...carry on. Sarah, and anyone else at RT - have an absolute blast! And keep us posted! Inquiring minds want all the dirt. :)

[spaminator word: trade88 - Nope. I wouldn’t trade life here in the USA for 88 anythings.]

Now that sounds like some quality people watching, Sarah. I’d have found a seat in the lobby and just watched.

Think of it more like a science experiment. A really hilarious, costumed, interesting science experiment.

Mantitty-heavy Village People mishandling the American flag while flexing to “God Bless the USA”?

Gee, I can’t believe I missed that.

Wow. Great report. SSG W is clearly a husband and a half. Hell, make it three husbands. He gets my vote for Mr. Sane Romance.

I’ve never been to RT because I just couldn’t understand what it was for.  You’ve given me a better idea of that. We here at home appreciate your sacrifice.

I like the idea of dressing up and wearing costumes.  I look much better in costume.  However, the idea of the rampant mantitty and the rampant squeeing over said mantitty...not so much.  It’s a tough balance of things I like and things that would make me flinch.  However, I don’t scoff when someone’s preferences are different than mine and they either love it all or hate it all, as long as they don’t scoff at me :)

I’ve never been but have been warned that if I do, I need to keep a few feet from the mantitty.  Nice clothes.  Body oil.  Nuff said.

Haha.  Exactly what I was thinking.

RT sounds radical!  Will Fabio be there?  Have a great time Sarah!

Same here.  Love costumes, but find the idea of middle-aged women (of which I am one) squealing over half-naked men (to whom they are not married--or even dating) really decadent, and not in the good, chocolate-y way.  But then, I didn’t go put posters of Shaun Cassidy all over my wall, either.  It would be something to see, though!  I do think SSG W deserves many, many “great, supportive husband” medals for spending his time off here, and more for the efforts he is putting in for our country.  Let’s pray that he and all of our military can come home safely very soon.

Thanks for the update.  People keep telling me to go to RT, but it hasn’t worked out.  I’ve only got so much money, and there’s a conference in Colorado Springs next week, where the draw is family including a new grandbaby.  Wasn’t a hard choice. 

I do know that last year, the husband of an author friend was on leave from military duty and he surprised her by showing up at RT. 

I think next year, RT is going to be in my home town, so I might break down and attend.  But, like you, I think I’ll be in a fog and hiding in my room a lot.  I’ve always been the wallflower type.

Wow.  It sounds like you were Alice in Wonderland, of in this case ManTittyLand.

I know I would feel out of my element, too but hell, it might be fun after a few drinks, too. 

Can’t wait for the pics.

That sounds kind of...demeaning. For the guys, I mean. I don’t know. Am I being totally humorless here? I just keep thinking about how I’d feel if it were women being paraded like that.

SSG W. sounds AWESOME. Also, I’m pretty sure he’s serving with my cousin, who is also with the 101st and stationed in Baghdad.

Silver James, I will cheerfully admit it’s not a logical reaction on my part. Pretty much everyone knows that women serve in the military and ‘front lines’ is no longer an accurate expression. I suspect most people, if they think about it at all, think ‘men’ as in ‘mankind.’

Anyway, I didn’t mean to sidetrack the discussion. And I am really looking forward to Sarah’s photos.

That sounds very, very scary to me. But then, like Anna J. Evans, I do not enjoy the mantitty all up in my face, and the idea of a bunch of women squealing while said beefcakes lipsynch to GBTUSA, a song I hate, hate, hate more than I can ever say (my husband is in The National Guard band, and they tend to close concerts with that song. I’ve heard it more times than any human being ever should)… yeah, that’s the stuff of nightmares for me. I think the idea of cons like this is great, but they’re definitely not for me.

I assume the guys on parade know what they’re getting into and hopefully don’t feel demeaned when they get squealed at, gushed over and otherwise turned into walking, perhaps talking, oily sex objects *heh*.  If an unsuspecting fellow such as SSG W were to receive the same treatment, he might feel differently.  Maybe there are some dudes who do it once and say, NEVER AGAIN. 

One of the models contacted me prior to the conference (he’s on the cover of one of my Red Sage anthologies) to see if me or any others in that volume wanted him to sign books with us.  He seemed very enthusiastic about the whole conference, but he was also businesslike and polite.

Well, I assume the guys themselves aren’t demeaned by it. I mean, why else would they do it? But I was thinking on the larger scale. Again, if it were women, even if the women themselves didn’t find it demeaning, I would be disturbed by it.

Or maybe not. I don’t know. Like I said, I think I’m being humorless. Ignore me. :D

“God Bless the USA.” I hate that song. Hate it. I have a tendency to get up and walk out whenever it’s played. All because of one line in the chorus, ‘the men who died.’ That’s right, all those women who have served in the military and died for America? They don’t count. Sorry, personal trigger of mine.  -SandyW

I’m an Air Force veteran, it doesn’t bug me at all.  I was out of the military when the first Gulf War started, but I was still married to my ex and he was still in the Air Force.  We were stationed in Germany and I worked in the NCO Club.  That song felt like a very personal anthem for everyone I knew.  It was also the first conflict that people of our generation were actually involved in.  There were some short-timers that could remember Vietnam, but they were a rare breed.  Granted, the tours weren’t like they are now, but people I knew were being sent to Saudi for 6-9 months in the heat and the sand.  They were away from their families and it was the first time that women were also going in fairly large numbers.  In the midst of all that, there was Greenwood’s song, telling us that what we were doing was right and that we were all heros.  “God Bless the USA”. 

On Friday and Saturday night, the dj at the NCO Club might play that song as many as 4 times--and no matter how many times it was played, no matter how late it was, no matter how drunk everyone might be, EVERYONE stood when it played and swung their drinks in time and sang, loud and proud.  The closest I’ve ever seen to that phenomenom is when the National Anthem is played before the late show at the movie theater on base--half the audience drunk off their collective asses and still all standing, at perfect Attention, during the entire thing.  So, yes, I know that women have served and some have given their lives for this country in every war we’ve been involved in and that the line that you object to isn’t entirely accurate.  But the sense of the camaraderie and belonging that the song evoked among those of us stationed at Spangdahlem AB at the time trumps the accuracy of one line, at least for me.

SandyW, remember that when “GBtUSA” was written and recorded (1984), women weren’t really anywhere close to the front lines - as a rule...Change in vernacular and mind set doesn’t happen overnight.  -Silver James

The civilian vernacular may change, but the military vernacular probably never will.  I was an Airman.  If I’d been Navy, I would have been a Seaman.  The DI (Drill Instructor) said on the very first day, “You are an Airman.  If you last long enough and work hard, you might someday be a Sargeant.  It’s not a gender, it’s a title.  If that bothers you, you are in the wrong place.” Granted, that was over 20 years ago, but I doubt that the military has changed it’s position on the subject.  :)

WHERE AER YOU?!!  I’m on the lookout for the crazy chick SB Sarah.

As you can tell, I’m already RT-briated.  Where ARE you hanging out?

Everything you’ve just posted reinforces why I’ve been reluctant to even contemplate going to RT. I don’t see how so many people could deride Sherrilyn Kenyon’s swan hat when EC is hosting a side-of-beef show. To quote Singin’ in the Rain, “Dignity. Always, dignity.”

The cheesy stuff just makes it harder to miss!
Remember, rabid readers are people too!
Keep us updated.

FYI the coverage videos over at RT are fun to watch
http://www.romantictimes.com/2008/04/rt-convention-video-blog-day-1.php

SandyW - absolutely no worries. You get to feel the way you do. That’s the whole point. And Tina, thank you for your service! Back when my hubby was active duty Army, everyone was “Green”. There was no white, black, yellow, red, purple polka dotted...A soldier was green. Gender and race didn’t mean a thing. And that was the 80’s. In many ways, the military got it right long before society did.

But to the truly important stuff - Pictures! *thumps desk* We want pictures! Mantitty. Weird fans. Authors!

[spaminator word: about 41....damn! I wish!!1! Add about 14 to that....]

I’m with Chicklet - I can’t envision anything other than a gun held to my head that would incent me to attend such an event. 

This might be a controversial POV, but I have to wonder just how much events like this contribute to the dominant cultural perception that romance fiction is fluffy, cheesy, and not worth the paper it’s printed on.  I enjoyed Sarah’s coverage - hilarious! - but the inescapable truth is that the event IS eminently snark-able.  We ‘in the family’ can laugh and roll our eyes, say it’s all in fun, but ... inside I’m wincing. 

/soapbox

Want to talk young at a convention?  I attended my first Romantic Times Conventions in the 1980’s when I was a pre-teen cuz my mom’s a romance author and she’d won the Best New Regency Author award. 

I was a very pretentious, nerdy little scamp.  I was about 12 years old, sneaking white wine and striking up intentionally serious conversations with the shirtless cover models asking them how they felt about being objectified.  One guy just said it was OK except his ass hurt from having all the middle-aged women pinching it as they left the suite.  The RT events were over the top, ridiculous, absurd.  e.g. They auctioned off a date with a Count.  A real one from some mouse-sized country.  And you know what?  I LOVED them events.  I loved that Katherine and Co. went ALL OUT with the models, the events, eveything.  Whythe screw meet at a big convention if not to see BIG STUPID things—like man tiitty—cotumes—etc.?  Every year I attended I acted as if I had no interest in such silliness, but every year I and every other attendee secretly wished that the convention would reach ever more ridiculous heights.  Also, if not for the ridiculous events, press ain’t going to cover you.  That is why RT DOES serve the genre very well.  There is nothing a TV crew wants less than to come to a romance convention and find sober discourse about the history of snuff boxes or a feminist interpretation of modern depections of sexuality. 

RT con is PR genius.  IMHO, romance is going to have an uphill battle no matter what.  Romance readers need to be strong enough to let their hair down.

This post made me sad I’m not at this year’s RT convention.  Misty water colored memories and all… Next time!  And I’m gonna get drunk, wear a crazy costume and pinch the steroidal men!  Just watch me.

One more thing.  The poem atop this post rocks my world.  thanx 4 it.

This is one of those your damned if you do/don’t things right?

Huh.

oops. You are /you’re. oops.

I NEED COFFEE.

No worries lisbea—lookit how much I spelled wrong.  Sheesh.  “Depiction” & even Kathryn’s name and… oh lud I suuuuuuck.  I’m going to be struck by copygoddess lightening and I will deserve it.  ick on me.

Ooooooooo! I had no idea what an RT convention was like, but I am now super disappointed to be missing it. A huge-arse celebration of the romance genre? My cupa tea. Perhaps next year. Squeeee for some authors for me, will you?

I don’t see how so many people could deride Sherrilyn Kenyon’s swan hat when EC is hosting a side-of-beef show.

It’s context, Chicklet.  Sherri’s hat shenanigans happened at the RWA literacy signing, where it was utterly unexpected whereas at RT, it’s just some feathers on someone’s head, compared to some of the other outfits being sported.

Context.

Thanks for the report. I have to admit...been there, done that. Very $$$ for very little return on the dollar, unless you are an erotica writer and then, yeah, it’s the place to be and pick up new fans. Other genre writers get lost in all the mantitty, “Got Sex” t-shirts, and outrageous costumes. But I will admit, the costumes were the most entertaining sight there.

Too bad you have to miss the Mr. Romance contest. Talk about cheesy! 

Look forward to more reports

It’s context, Chicklet.

Sure, *we* have context for it, but any press coverage likely doesn’t. For most non-romance readers, any gathering related to the genre equals the genre, period. I’d just as soon not be associated with the butt-pinchers, thanks. [/snob]

“First the EC authors were escorted one by one across the stage to much cheering, each author led by one of the EC gentlemen, as usual without shirts on. “

Just want to make it clear...the MEN had no shirts on.

Us authors were expected to remain dressed.

Diana Hunter, who had the honor, the priviledge and the duty to take a model’s arm across that stage

Sure, *we* have context for it, but any press coverage likely doesn’t. For most non-romance readers, any gathering related to the genre equals the genre, period. I’d just as soon not be associated with the butt-pinchers, thanks. [/snob]

Nope, you go ahead and be a snob.  The swan hats and man titty are always going to get the attention—it’s just how the game is played.  I heard from a friend who’s there that one of the local stations sent a crew out to do a story that originally was going to focus on authors, then they decided they wanted to talk to a reader and they happened to snag one who’s a HUGE fan of EroRom.  (Not that this is difficult at RT, admittedly.) And rather than have it be a piece on how women are much more comfortable and even reveling in all the choices available to them in the romance genre, it turned into sex-starved housewives.

*sigh*

Which of course, must make those of us who write it, bon-bon eating, feather boa-wearing dilettantes lounging on chaises as we pump out (pun fully intended) the purple prose.  < /sarcasm>

Oh I just love to hear the reports that come in from RT virgins!

I went to my first RT all by my lonesome, so I had plenty of time to quietly sit and people watch. My head felt like it rested on a swivel, and I’m sure that from an outsiders point of view, my mouth seemed to be constantly open in astonishment.

The next year I roomed with two friends, both RT virgins. That was a hoot as well because behind their glazed over eyes, I could read every thought. And those were mostly, OMGWTF! hahahaha

Now, Ms. Sarah, where are those darn pics? (Nah, just teasing. Many people go to RT with the best of intentions, like posting pics on a regular basis, then find that every day there is like running the Boston marathon.)

Word-yes56 NO damn it, just turned 46. Don’t rush it.

I think there should be a “Poor EC Authors Whose Books the Company Won’t Put into Print” party in, say, Oconomowoc.  We could wear our sweats, bring our own six-packs (the potable kind), and ogle slide shows of Don Knotts in various roles.  Then we could get our pictures taken with . . . well, any man we could get to stand still.

To Cat Marsters especially
Which is why, Cat, I’m over here in Pittsburgh instead of over there with you! You can’t take this too seriously and I can come over here and party instead of remaining prim and proper and good, then put half the world between me and my bad behaviour again!
But behind the scenes, a lot of business does get done. I’ve sorted out a couple of things that would have been really difficult to do in mail.

Wryhag~OCONOMOWOC? Holy crap, you must be in WI to spell that city right!!  I live near Oconomowoc!  GO PACK!! :)

Cat:
It was Laura Baumbach and the ManLoveRomance group.
http://manlovebooks.com/blog/04/romantic-timeshyatt-author-targeted/

Also, one of the Torquere authors (I forget who, but I think Julia Talbot) paid for a membership in the Faerie Court, which is supposed to guarantee a review. RT promptly revised the rules so that they neither had to review a m/m novel nor refund the money.

I think I’ll stick with science fiction conventions

Wryhag~OCONOMOWOC? Holy crap, you must be in WI to spell that city right!!  I live near Oconomowoc!  GO PACK!! :)

Damned straight, Tracy.  I can pronounce it correctly, too, old Milwaukeean that I am.  And I second the “Go, Pack!” God knows they’re going to need all the support they can get with BF gone.

Yeah, I can pronounce it correctly too! Mukwonago, Waukesha, Fond du Lac, Menomonee Falls etc. etc.  A lot of tongue twister names around here. I love it when the radio or TV gets a new DJ/News Anchor form out of the area and the way the butcher the names! I’m evil I know, but you think they’d find out how to pronounce them BEFORE going on the air!

I’ve been a Packer fan for 15 years. I don’t know the Pack without BF!

Sorry for hijacking the thread, but seriously, I don’t run into too many Wisconsinites online!! :o)

Also, one of the Torquere authors . . . paid for a membership in the Faerie Court

Okay, there’s a very un-pc remark just begging to be made here, but God/gods/goddesses forbid I should be the one to make it.  (Still chuckling to myself, though.  I also laugh at ethnic jokes.  Hey, gimme a break; I was raised in taverns.)

Note to self: don’t try to comment on blogs with 4 hrs sleep at an RT convention…

WE authors...not “us” authors.

Wryhag,
I get the joke too.

It probably resembles my daughter talking about sexuality and how, according to scared grown-ups, when she’s 18 the Gay Fairy will bop her and say “Be fabulous” or the Straight Fairy--but of course they don’t call him THAT…

Okay, there’s a very un-pc remark just begging to be made here, but God/gods/goddesses forbid I should be the one to make it.

No worries; it’s the kind of joke where you don’t even have to tell it—you just have to name the elements and let the listener provide the joke in their head. *g*

Sounds like the Girls Gone Wild crew should set up shop at RT :)

Loved the report, (although now I’ll be even more likely to chicken out from attending in 2009 like I had been planning...)