Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Elastic strap *SNORT*

Now boys and girls can you say cock ring?

Sure you can.

Dear lord. What if the bits get tangled up in the elastic band thingie? Testicular torsion much?

And I thought “balcony” bras were bad. When are they going to get padding as well?

Actually, I’ve seen similar-looking devices to that on other sites, but not exactly underwear-related ones. (Not exactly SFW!)

I can imagine ... actually, no, I can’t ... the amount of pain the wearer would be in if given a wedgy.

That’s not exactly news though, is it? I think AussieBum came out with the Wonderjock last year?
“Our classic nylon cozzie featuring the original aussieBum WONDERJOCK pouch technology. Enhance your natural assets, flaunt your stuff, feel proud and have fun on the beach this summer.”

Okay, I’ll try, and probably will fail at, HTML…
To Aussiebum’s Wonderjock underwear!

Not entirely work safe. I kept glancing over my shoulder the whole time I was on that page…

See, I fail! Sarah, Candy, if you could please fix the link?

You all know that Speedos come from Australia where they are called budgie smugglers? The old man reckons the IT swimmers are just not budgie smugglers.

If women can wear corsets and have it be empowering, men can wear these.

Show It Trunks, Miracle Bras.

We should all be proud of our lumps.

But perhaps this ad wasn’t the best way to start the day for me--esp if I end up going by the pool later.

Not to mention the potential for instant castration.

Swimming camel noses..... what will they think of next!

They’re for swimming, right? Wouldn’t the, er, profile affect one’s performance through the water? Kinda like roof racks on a car...doesn’t look too significant until you crunch the friction coefficient figures.

DH points out (no pun intended) that this is a move back to medieval times, when codpieces were designed so you couldn’t miss da boys.

Speedos, wendy? Aka DTs (dick-togs). I especially like them matched with a beer gut. Yum!

And if he gets a woody? What then??

Hubby does marketing research at a major underwear company. I passed on the link to his work e-mail account. Victoria’s Secret, Frederick’s, Abercrombie...he’s on their sites constantly, all in the name of research, baby!

I knew it!  I knew it!  This is the first step back to codpieces.  What else is fourteen years of “prison shuffle” fashion--the pants hanging down around the knees so the boxers are exposed and the guy has to kind of lurch and waddle--leading to?

My response to the website was to say out loud “What?” about 3 times as I looked it over. Show it technology? What?

My mind is going all sorts of places it shouldn’t with this site. I’m also thinking what happens if that elastic isn’t set quite right…

Thank you for the link to aussiebums. That was a nice way to greet the morning!

aussiebums - Enjoy the ride…

Oh my!

Thanks, Bitches.  I can always count on you for informative, thought-provoking posts on the REAL issues of the day.  (Maybe I ought to start eating that cheese that makes you go blind?)

Beyond that, all I can say is ... Mr. Wonderjock is neverneverNEVER gonna get anywhere near my Magic Hoo-Hoo.  *shudder*

Hey!
I happen to like Linda Howards heros!  All of them (even better than that wuss Devon in Windflower...geez, what a disappointment). 

What is this terror of a penis of a decent size that actually works?  Damn, I feel archaic.

Next you’re going to tell me buttsecks is superior to vaginal because your hoohoo doesn’t get messed up ;)

Not sure if Linda Howard’s heroes know about it, but Virginia Henley’s heroes have been aware of this technology for ages.

Nice to know that somewhere out there, male body parts are valued.... I lub’em myself!

I’m not sure how this is ‘new’ technology. Maybe a new application of it? Certain men’s underwear lines have been engineered to show ‘enhanced silhouette’ for years. Some even combine the frontal attack with an enhanced rear view. Now that’s what I’m talkin bout.

The next technological breakthrough will be the “count em” strap.

A small elastic strap which attaches to the “show it” strap and goes between the balls to lift and separate allowing you to not only measure but to actually count the family jewels at a distance.

You have been warned.

As a Floridian, I’m already exposed to a large number of Europeans at the beach who think everyone looks good in a Speedo or a banana sling. 

They’re wrong.

I can see this compounding the problem, but the concept is...interesting.

Oh, great, a swim suit with it’s own erector set. 

Still, it’s cheaper than a Ferrari.

Did anyone else click out the other styles on that International Jock site?  Like the thongs?  That BallBra had us ladies here at work hooting with laughter.  (I don’t know how to do the html thingy or I’d give you a direct link) And the CockSox was pretty amusing too.
And what’s with the guy on the Aussie Bum site?  He’s TOTALLY checking himself out in almost every picture.  Creepy.

My word?  efforts87...lol

I knew it!  I knew it!  This is the first step back to codpieces.

For some reason, I think that this would be hysterical.  And distracting, but not in a good way.

Wait, wait.  Did you see the line of Nasty Pig wear? 

TP, is that a relative of yours?

I’d think that it would be like having your head in a noose at a hanging and being afraid for when the chair is going to get kicked out from under you.

short69—it’s a short way to literal blue balls in this suit.

Sarah: How far did you look on this site? Obviously I am more bored than you. Wendy: the budgy smuggler is offered here too.

http://www.internationaljock.com/budgy-smuggler-swim-briefs-day-glo-pink,8640.html

Okay, I might have this html thing figured out now (Thanks Sarah!!) Here is the

BallBra and the CockSox

::crossing my fingers that it works::

uh, yeah....so it didn’t work.  Sarah?  ::hanging head in shame::

http://www.nastypig.com/

Nothing comes between me and my Nasty Pig Jeans.

Because nothing can Jane.

I love Nasty Pig clothing and look and their models! They have tattoos and body hair and things.

Oh and for those into the cod piece…

Check out the cod piece pants…

http://www.nastypig.com/playgear_item.php?id=85&cat=1

Damn, Teddy, those are some convenient looking pants.  Although, isn’t the rubber a little difficult to put on and take off.

“I love Nasty Pig clothing and look and their models! They have tattoos and body hair and things.”

Teddy, I checked out those models, watching the different pictures pop up on the main page.  What’s with the guy straddling the gas can?  Looks like he’s watched Zoolander one too many times....

isn’t the rubber a little difficult to put on and take off.

To don your new latex skirt/trousers/shirt you will need a large bottle of talcum powder or powdered cornstarch.

To shine it up Armor-all it while wearing.

Perhaps not all guys look good in a speedo or show-its or whatchamacallits, but I have to say that guy on the Aussie bum site- YOWZA!

Bwahahaha - the song “My Humps” by B.E.P keeps running through my head! Only it’s ‘Watcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunks?’
Bwahahahahaha thanks Bitches I really needed that laugh today!!!!!

I have to admit, the NastyPig models are fun to look at.....hair and tats do it for me every time.

Now I’m wondering if that’s the kind of swim trunks Daniel Craig wore in Casino Royale. When I saw that, I’d never seen swim trunks that packed. If you see the picture of him naked= it’s in Google Images- he’s not all that impressive.

Anyhow linky to swim trunk picture. You’re on your own for the naked one.
Daniel Craig

SQQEEEE!

Thank you Che!  And it wasn’t even my birthday. :)

IMO the “prison shuffle” has it’s own agenda.  On one hand, we be forcing the world to view our underwear clad rump.  On the other hand (side), observe where this places the front of the pants...now the tightest part (waistband) is directly over our junk, rubbing & stimulating. 

The ultimate in your face...kiss my (almost) bare a**, while I masturbate.

Che, while we’re on the subject, does the chick die at the end? I watched it last night but turned it off near the end when I suspected that was coming. They seemed way too happy and compatible for a non-romance movie.

I enjoyed Mr. Craig but his constant pout seems weird to me, very Michael Myers on Sprockets, like he is always about to say “touch my monkey.”

I’ve only seen the end…

*Spoiler Alert*

Yes, she does.

Ah, I have excellent “RED ALERT HEROINE ABOUT TO BITE IT” insticts. Thank you, DL.

Bwahahahahahaha. The gold blah blah suit is too funny.

But hey, if we women can overly enhance our ta tas with a number of devices, then men should have free rein to do the same.

However, I’m not sure about enhancing the whole “boys” thing (aka balls). I’m thinking it’s so the “man” of the matter shows more.

But, I could be wrong on that point. The term “Having big cajunas” (aka balls) is often associated with being alpha in both male and female.

Personally, when looking at a guy, I’m not looking at the boys, so no need to impress me in that area. The “man” perhaps, the “boys” no. LOL

the men’s version of a Wonderbra LOL

LOL my word verification is service61 LOL

Che, while we’re on the subject, does the chick die at the end? I watched it last night but turned it off near the end when I suspected that was coming. They seemed way too happy and compatible for a non-romance movie.

I enjoyed Mr. Craig but his constant pout seems weird to me, very Michael Myers on Sprockets, like he is always about to say “touch my monkey.”

As someone already mentioned, yes she does. Guess she had to, so he could boink all the next Bond girls.

Yeah, he does pout a lot but I find it sexy. Different strokes, I guess.

dude looks like Usher.

omg - you bitches have srsly ruined my eye makeup. that was f’in hilarious!  i’m remembering when i’ve worn a corset & feeling that my boobs were entering a room before the rest of my body - i imagine a man would feel the same way in this!  lol

i know some ladies that would buy this for their men in a heartbeat… who can *ahem* beat swim trunks with a built in cock ring???? awesome!

You would not believe the number of straight men out there that will buy this stuff. It is amazing.

I used to be a Radioman in the NAVY which meant I worked near the mail room often. I used to see guys I could swear were straight buying the latest rags from the International Male catalog all the time.

http://www.intmale.com/

Even though the thing was cover to cover men in kitschy clothing doing sexy poses while flashing their assets. Soft porn for the gay guys.

Oh. My. God.

I made hubby look at the front of the site, and now he’s ignoring me.  He wont’ get near my computer again until after I log off for the night.  Chicken!  :)

I have now spent *far* too long clicking link after link.  And then looking for a naked Daniel Craig.  The heck with worksafe - this isn’t home safe!  I keep looking over my shoulder to make sure the kidlet isn’t suddenly behind me!

Hah!  Spamfilter is test91.  That’s it.  I’m testing, to see which are the best…

It just seems to me like a guy would feel very vulnerable wearing one of those.  I mean, with his delicate bits all out there and unprotected.  I can’t imagine there is much surfing or volleyball going on when a guy is wearing that.

I keep hearing Elaine from Seinfeld saying “I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.”

spamfoiler:  himself69 Is that even possible?

OMG - Nasty Pig has their own RETAIL OUTLETS.  I kid you not.

My verification word: eyes39.  OK, well, I’m a coupla years over 39...but people say I look younger...really.

Re: Show It trunks...I don’t even want to click on the Basket icon.  Dazzling male displays in swimwear are dependent upon water temperature anyway.

And yeah, there was a New Yorker cartoon with a paunchy middle-aged guy in teeny swim briefs studying a beach sign:  Speedo Age Limit: 21 Years.  Says it all.

Now I would have for some of the older men out there to not wear the Speedo.

There is nothing more drool worthy than an older man with a great body showing his assets.