Smuggler’sBridebyDarleneMarshall

by Candy Wednesday, May 04, 2005 at 01:33 PM
Our Grade:
B-
Title: Smuggler's Bride
Author: Darlene Marshall
Publication Info: LTDBooks 2005, ISBN: 1553165519
Genre: Historical: American

Lady Julia Delerue is going over the accounts for the Florida branch of Delerue-Sanders shipping after the death of her uncle when she discovers that somebody is stealing cargo right from their ships. In an effort to find the culprits, she decides to disguise herself as a grubby cleaning woman and work at Ganymede’s Cup, a local tavern belonging to Richard and Robin, two former pirate cohorts of her mother’s. (Ganymede’s Cup is also known locally as the Greek Boy, and given the kinds of pirates Julia’s mom had on her ship, you KNOW what sort of Mediterranean lad they’re referring to.) With its strategic location and less-than-savory clientele, Julia hopes to overhear enough to figure out what’s going on. Her only lead so far is a name but nothing else: Rand Washburn.

Then a couple of dimwits nab her, toss her onto a wagon and drop her off in the middle of nowhere. In the middle of nowhere with possibly the only backwoodsman around with all his teeth and nose left. (Apparently Cracker fights involved a lot of nose-biting. How cool is that little historical factlet?) In the middle of nowhere with, coincidentally, the Rand Washburn she’s been hearing about at Ganymede’s Cup. Figuring that this opportunity to solve the mystery is too good to pass up, she pretends to be Richard’s English niece and offers to cook and clean for Rand.

Rand still has several functional brain cells, so of course he’s suspicious of Julia—that woman is a liar if he ever met one. He assumes she’s probably a spy sent by one of his competitors, and he’ll just keep her close until he figures her out. Hey, the woman can sure cook some good possum. OK, it’s kind of annoying when she keeps following him on his clandestine meetings, but she also saves his hide from some particularly unscrupulous smugglers, too. Who knew that impoverished scullery maids from England knew how to shoot? And Julia’s not the only one who’s hiding something; he has a few big, big secrets of his own.

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Categories: Reviews by Author, L-PReviews by Grade: B

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Comments

Picture of E.D'Trix E.D'Trix said on...
05.04.05 at 07:37 PM |

Rand. Wash-burn. Book sounds good...name sounds so verrry wrong…

Picture of Sarah Sarah said on...
05.05.05 at 06:59 AM |

Am I missing something? Randy Washing Burn? Or do you just not like the sound of it?

Picture of E.D'Trix E.D'Trix said on...
05.05.05 at 07:56 AM |

Hmmm...not sure—something about it just sounds wrong to me. A bit of a Beavis and Butthead reaction to Rand(y) *heh heh* and then the combination of Wash and Burn. A kind of weird process by which my brain goes: “get randy? better wash before your cooch starts to burn...” and then I get all distracted by junior high giggles. Lather, rinse, repeat whenever heroes full name is mentioned.

Now when are we going to have a romance novel hero name generator? Not to mention, heroine?

Picture of Candy Candy said on...
05.05.05 at 08:19 AM |

Fuckin’ A, E.D’Trix. I’ll get on it. Not sure when it’ll be done, but the script for generating the romance novel titles can be very easily tweaked to generate male/female characters.

Man, it would actually be really fun to create a random character generator sheet. You know, for heroine, the attributes could be things like Name, Height, Build (choose between charmingly plump to pleasingly slender), Size of Hooters (Bountiful, Itty-Bitty Titty Committee, etc), Size of Booty, Color of Eyes (Sapphire, Emerald, Violently Violet, Enchanting Hazel), Color of Hair, etc.

I’m feeling inspired. Unfortunately, I’m pretty swamped right now at work. Grrr, work.

Picture of E.D'Trix E.D'Trix said on...
05.05.05 at 10:17 AM |

Mmmmm...I can see it now. A whole lotta Gryffin Blackthorne’s and Wolfe Runs-With-the-Wind’s—not to mention endless variations of Lucifer/Lucien/Luc and various geological names—Rock/Stone/Granite/Limestone.
Oooh, I wanna Limestone McQuarry western!

Picture of Sarah Sarah said on...
05.05.05 at 01:17 PM |

And don’t forget all the various animal and gargoyle-sounding names (Raven, Hawk, Falcon, Toadstool), not to mention the possibilities of lordly titles!

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