Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Imagine if you buy two boxes of anus you get a free chocolate enema to go with it?

That would make the perfect gag gift, don’t you think?  Pun intended.

Can’t wait to see what the creative people come up with just so they can win some shit.  LOL oh my… the places this will go…

Wait a minute...you’re not giving away the silver asshole?  And here I had visions of that sitting on my desk as my new paperweight.

I wonder if it can be used as an inkwell?  That would give dipping my pen a whole new meaning.

I’d have to buy brown ink though.  The purple I’m using now would look too much like someone in need of a medical intervention.

Since my mom thought Spongebob was a piece of cheese, the evil child in me is already laughing at giving this a bday gift!

I would enter, but my jaw is resting on the keyboard.

And can I be first to say, “Holy Chocolate Anus, Batman!”

Actually, The Silver Anus would make a good arch-nemesis name.

and can I be first to say, “Holy Chocolate Anus, Batman!”

Actually, The Silver Anus would make a good arch-nemesis name.

you’d better claim that scenario now, otherwise some inspired slash-obsessed fangirl is gonna take that premise and probably screw it up.

you’d better claim that scenario now, otherwise some inspired slash-obsessed fangirl is gonna take that premise and probably screw it up.

Don’t you mean, “and probably bugger it up?”

Sorry.

LOL Darlene.  I can’t wait to read the posts and wish I was creative enough to enter.  *sigh*

THAT’S the most sensuous of body parts? I can think of so many alternatives just off the top of my head.... (arguably even including the top of my head.)

Ha!  The incredible edible anus web site has “Testimonials.” I guess it’s the best anus some folks have ever eaten!

You bitches kill me...bunch of great humored ladies on this site!

“The Silver Anus”...too funny!

Alas, I am not creative enough to wax eloquent on the assholes!  I can’t wait to read what you wonderfully creative people come up with...it should be a treat...a chocolate anus treat to be exact!

Oh man… I have awful awful awful ideas that have to do with Alli and a romantic interlude.  But I’m so afraid people will vomit when I’m done.

Chocolate Balloon Knot? Chocolate Starfish? HAH! Those descriptions only work if you’ve never given birth. The real contest should be to find euphamisms for a post-natal one without using the words “baboon butt”.

OMG, just when you think you’ve seen it all.

Well it’s taken years but that silver do-dad (oh, there’s a pun, for sure) has almost taken away my eternal craving for chocolate.  ALMOST. I won’t read the replys just in case.
Good luck to all that enter.

OKAY, I have to stop....

Alas, I am not creative enough to wax eloquent on the assholes! 

Waxing...assholes…

Hmm.

karmelrio..."waxing"...I caught that after I hit submit!  HA!

One has to wonder where the original mold came from. or not wonder.

the incredible edible anus....does it come with warm and gooey chocolately filling?

couldn’t stop my fingers from typing that…

the incredible edible anus....does it come with warm and gooey chocolately filling?

TraeCat, I was thinking the same thing. Only perhaps a nutty-nougat filling would be better.

Our solid silver anus is immune from the daily wear and tear that similar products experience. A quality product immortalised in silver…for the man who has everything.

“Daily wear and tear”????  Wow.  And if you haven’t read the testimonials, do; some of them are pretty funny.

Do they make chocolate boobs, too? What about a chocolate penis? Imagine the fun (?) you could have with all three? This takes playing with your food to a new level.

I can’t help but wonder, what are the “similar products” to a solid silver anus?

spamword: things 39. Title for a story: 39 things to do with a chocolate [or solid silver] anus.

So instead of anal bleaching, a white chocolate anus? Or one with cream cheese frosting?

What exactly is a “professional anus commentator”?  Or do I want to know?

Do they make chocolate boobs, too? What about a chocolate penis?

Yup. They make those too. Also chocolate vaginas.

This only needs accompanying sugar free chocolates to give you the runs!!!

You have to come up with a “Silver Anus” award category!!!

You must come up a “Silver Anus” award category!

I can’t participate. My mommy would find out I wrote about very naughty things. Then Thanksgiving would become an awkward, awkward holiday. I’d miss out on turkey. Not cool.

I just noticed one of the post tags is “make the burning stop.” Water snorting!

How did I not realise I should have put my cup of coffee down before I read both post & comments…

Holy Chocolate Anus, Batman.

Am I the only one who thinks that the Silver Anus looks like a tooth filling?

True story…

In a trailer in rural Kentucky ,when the internet was new, a long married middleaged couple who had never ever looked at porn in all their church goin lives clicked onto some internet porn.

She wanted to see at least ONE MORE penis before she got old and died and well, he was a red blooded man and he was determined to see boobies that weren’t saggy from childbirth and age.

So they typed in the rather tame word “ SEX” in the ancient search browser.  About 2,000,000 pages showed up and they clicked on a random one. The very first group of pictures that slowly loaded up on their dial up connection was photos of the most shocking thing the church goin couple had ever seen.

She turned to him and said in a horrified shocked voice” Is IT in her BUTT?” Before the word BUTT left her mouth she was bent over the sofa and without even a “ HOW TO” web search she found out what happens when church goin men see buttsex on the web.

She decided at that moment that the next porn search on the web was going to be when she was alone, but it would be awhile before she was able to sit in her desk chair to do any internet searches.

the end

No purple prose but true story.

Since its past the deadline for the contest i went ahead and posted it here on the urging of someone who frequently laughs at my real life LOL.

What an incredibly suitable gift this would be to my ex when the divorce is complete. He’s not worth the solid silver investment, but a nice box of chocolates, well, how could I go wrong? A lovely gift card: For every time you’ve ditched the kids, crushed their feelings, not paid your child support, dragged me through court because “I started it"… these are my thoughts in chocolate, just for you! If I sent them to his workplace, do ya think he’d share them? Thank you Smart Bitches from the bottom of my heart (snicker) for finding the ideal gift.

Lisa, it sounds like you have a candidate for the Silver Anus award.