It’s January 5th, the shopping is done, the gifts are put away, and maybe you’re wearing that sweater someone gave you for the holidays. We’re all back at work, it’s probably cold, unless you’re in the southern hemisphere, and it’s a bit of a bummer.
Not anymore! Want to win an ARC copy of The Smart Bitch Book, also known as Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels? Sure, why not! I’ve got 10 ARCs sitting in my room with me (I gaze upon them more frequently than is necessary, and I admit it) and I’d like to share them with you. International shipping is fine, because it’s all about sharing the lurrrrrrrve™.
Here’s the deal: leave a comment here, and I’ll pick 10 at random. If you win a copy, however, you agree to (a) read it, and (b) email me your review, reaction, or general impression. Squeeing is optional and not at all required. If you hate it, I wanna hear about it. ARC winner reviews will be posted as Guest Bitch Reviews in the soon-to-be-launched Smart Bich Book section of this here hot pink wonder palace.
Caveat blah blah: it’s an ARC. I know for a fact that Candy and I made big ass changes, because, well, we made big ass changes. Some of the illustrations are different, there’s additional material we inserted (sorry about that, production department!) and errors were spanked mightily. So keep that in mind - this is not the finished product.
However! It is, in our opinion, really freaking cool. So if you want one, you know what to do. Leave your comment, and I’ll pick winners in 24 hours. Ready, set, go.
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Commenting is disabled, kids. Read the existing comments
Yikes these are lotsa entries… still, please consider me for the random drawing, I would love to get this one early!
*crossing fingers*
What, only 297 comments? Surely I have a chance!
When does this actually come out? I did not see a date on Amazon…
Oh, I’d love to read the ARC! And wouldn’t you like to read an European’s views on heaving bosoms?
I would love it too- I already bought the book, but having an ARC and the real thing? Would be bliss.
Ooh, AN sbtb book for me in the cold lands of the UK?
I’m in!
It should be fun to see the reviews. Can’t wait!
Ooh, an SBTB book for me in the cold wintry lands of the UK?
Want! That would be the best prize evar.
Me please!
Oooh, ooh, me! Give me one! If I don’t get an ARC, I’m so buying one. I can’t wait to read this book.
I’m too lazy to figure out the odds here…or am I? With 300-odd comments as of now, that gives me…what? A 1-in-30 chance?
Bah. Whatevs. English PhD here, not math. WANT BOOK. :)
I want this book like whoa and damn. please pick me and of course I will review. although, I have to admit, if the finished product has matirial in it that isn’t in the arc, I’ll probably buy that too. does that make me less eligible? say noooo.
Comment comment!
I can has Arc? It would be awesome to be randomly chosen in this day and age of random awesomeness.
Gets in at the end of the line . . . Me! Me!
If I win, on my honor, I will try, to snark wherever able, to laugh out loud and occasionally on the floor, and to live by the girl scout law.
Pick me! Pick me! Free book! Yay!
I would love to read one! I’m on your site daily, but don’t comment often. My fingers are crossed….
always willing to try anything to read. Fun stuff
The books sounds fabulous and I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE a free copy! I think the review angle is intriguing as well… if I don’t win, it’s still going on my list of books to buy - but don’t let that stop you from just giving me one. **bambi eyes**
I love that heaving bosoms were worked into the title right away!
Tossing my feather-plumed bonnet into the ring, here! I’m so amped to read this.
Oh, oh, I want one! Pleeeeease. :)
I’m unemployed. Lots of time right here.
Tossing my hat into the ring . . .
Count me in for the random drawing for your new book! Congrats and if I win, I will definitely send my badass comments to you, Candy and the rest of the Bitchery.
*stares at the number of entries*
@o@ Holy MOTHER!@#!$!@#!#@
:P But damn, this still doesn’t stop me from wanting one, lol.
Geez, I’m so excited my pinky finger hit the enter key before I could even get to the comment box…premature ecstatictation, I guess.
But seriously, an ARC would be super cool to share with my mom (Jah knows she could use a diversion). I’m thinking we read it and give you a multi-generational perspective kind of thing. Although, that could be really uncomfortable given that I never got “the talk” as a teenager (30 now, hello!) due to sheer discomfort and embarrassment. Hell, I barely had the balls to call and tell her I was pregnant because that would be admitting that I’d had sex…with my husband…of two years.
Um, overshare, I know.
ooh! ooh! Pick me!
Congrats on the book!
OOh, an SBTB book for me to bring good cheer to my cold wintry existence in the UK?
ME!ME!ME!ME! You need one of us pervy old bitches to read it just to make sure it’s multi-generational, right?
Wow. So many comments.
Like everyone else, I would love a copy of this book. I know my library probably won’t get it any time soon if at all and I could give the ARC to it afterwards.
I’d love to review the book :)
Actually, tomorrow is Three Kings Day, so we’re not done with gifts yet. Unfortunately, it’s also the anniversary of my grandfather’s death. I’m having a hard time with it this year. More so than last year. I’m not sure why.
Actually, tomorrow is Three Kings Day, so we’re not done with gifts yet. Unfortunately, it’s also the anniversary of my grandfather’s death. I’m having a hard time with it this year. More so than last year. I’m not sure why.
I hope this doesn’t double post. The submit button seems to be hating me right now.
I mostly lurk, but I have very much been looking forward to the book and would dearly, dearly love my own little copy. Pleasepleaseplease.
Oooooh, this is the best prize EVER. So exciting!
Cooool. Commenting! :D
What can I say…it’s just awesome! Can’t wait to check it out!
Hey, I think you should award them to newbies. That’s me!! Love trashy romance and a seties of it is even better. So pick me!
Lisa Richards
horry cow…everyone wants and ARC…including ME!!!!
horry cow…everyone wants an ARC…including ME!!!!
oops series I mean!!
Sheesh… I’ve been watching this thread grow all day, waiting to get home to post.
Hopefully the random number generator pulls a number this high!
Me, please!!
Diane :o)
I’m an Aussie and we don’t ‘Squeeee’, but I promise to give a few Yeah!s if I think it’s great or a few ‘Are you mad?s if I hate it,
Sue
Free stuff and cool giveaways—why do these things happen when my computer is dead? Seriously, I would LOVE an ARC of the SBTB book—I did list it over at DA as one of the books to which I am REALLY looking forward this year! And since my online browsing time is going to be seriously curtailed by sharing a computer for the time being, more paper reading material would be SOOOO welcome.
This would be an awesome book to read!
Way cool! I can’t wait to see the book and I’d love to have an early peek. Thanks!!!
Hi,
I’d luuuurve a copy, you guys are great!
ARC me baby, one more time.
race55? Why, yes, I do appear to be racing towards 55. Thank you ever so much for noticing.
will provide reviews for free books….
count me in!
Squee! Oh squee, squee, squee! Hold on, I haven’t won anything yet. What am I squeeing for? Hmmm…...premature squeeing, I might need to see the doctor for that!
LOL!
I write a BITCHIN’ review! Trust me—I rock! Gimme gimme gimme that Smart Bitches Book!
I’m definitely up for reading a good book and providing you my input should I win… *crosses fingers*
It’s always good that someone else’s bosoms are heaving. Trust me. By the time you’re this age, that whole “heaving bosoms” thing freaking HURTS.
I would LOVE to read the ARC of the Bitchery. Let’s face it, I’ll be toddling off to the store to buy it when it hits the bookstore, too. After all, there are many who need to experience your wisdom, your snark, the fact that women who read romance have 74% more sex than those who don’t…
-S
Ooo, me! I would love to read and review this!
Hi,
Looks like much competition. Please put me into the hat - or whatever you now draw from.
It says perhaps67, but I’d be happy with one.
So many comments ... and yet I will toss my hat in the ring anyway! Huzzah!
Pick me! Pick me! I want one.
Ooohhh, would love to win this ARC( lots of squeeing would be involved)
I’d love to read about the Heaving Booboos early! (Sorry, my 5-year-old influences my language way too much).
LOL, 350 responses. There’s no way I’m being picked, but I’ll try anyway. :D
Holy cow, 360 comments. That’s okay. I’ll try my luck anyway. Would love to have an ARC!
ooooh, sign me up!
Please pick me. I’ll review it with an open mind and write an insightful and thoughtful review. I’ll even promise to like it (haha!)
But seriously, I may not have the credentials of some of your other subscribers but I love your website because after discovering it, I no longer feel guilty or ashamed of reading books for the sheer pleasure of it. It’s okay to put away Kafka and revel in Rachel Gibson. I’m free!!!
Hypno-toad says, pick me!
I want one! I do I do!!!
ARC away!
Wow. The entire readership is clamoring for a copy! I hope the random number generator likes me bestest.
I have to try. Cannot resist…
Spam word ‘expected37’...I’m not really expecting anything, but always worth a try!
I wish I knew the odds of winning…anyone know how to compute that?
Me, me!
I’m tickled at how many comments are on this thread. We love our smart bitches!
Ooh! I want to play! And how fun to not have to wait until April to read the book!
Would love to read it!
Dang! Over 350 already! Might as well drop my name in the hat. XD
I want! I want! Bring it on SB!
I would treasure a copy and it’d be a great way to kick off the New Year. Thanks!
If only one could count drawings of luck—‘tis far easier than counting on the luck of the draw. But! That shall not stop me from commenting here that I’d love an ARC of Smart Bitchiness.
Oh please, have space on my shelf next to my signed copy of the Jayne Ann Krentz edited Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women.
back at work - check; wearing the sweater MIL gave for christmas - check; cold weather - check
ARC - CHECK?!
Me me me!
I would love to read this! I’ve been curious about it since you started talking about it.
Meeeeee! Me, me me me me! Pick me!
Um, y’know, if it isn’t to much trouble….
All those videomos stoked my interest. I must know all the commandments for a romance novel heroine!
Wow.
A lot of people want an ARC!
Of course, I’m one of them…
...Nice. The word is “truth45”
Well, I did tell the truth…
I would love to be one of the first to read your book. I would love to win one of your ARCs.
ARC me with your best shot! Fire away!!
And yet another pair of pairs of crossed fingers. :)
Romance novels kind of scare me. It’s a different section of the bookstore, different books, I wouldn’t know if what I was reading is good or not or whatever else it might be.
Pick me!! Pick me!! Plllleeeeaaaassssseee
me. or the hoff. either way, the hoff wins.
http://roflrazzi.com/2009/01/05/celebrity-pictures-hasselhoff-no/
I would love an ARC (even though I’ve already pre-ordered through Amazon). Have you thought about releasing some ARCs to LibraryThing? A lot of publishers release ARCs to them (I snagged one a few weeks ago) with the caveat that you must post a review on your blog. Its a good way to generate buzz! The url on my name links to my LibraryThing account.
Pretty Please!
like azteclady, i am afeared of the competition in the sheer number of entries, but what the heck. I would love a copy!
Goodness, you bitches are legion! I had no idea there were so many lurkers out there.
*jumps up and down*
oooh! Pick me, pick me!! I’d LOVE a copy. I’d love it and hug it and squeeze it, and rip its bodice right off and fling it across the room!
Count me in too! Sarah, I hope that everyone who comments here also buys one… If it keeps going like this you’ll have a best seller for sure :)
Holy cow, that’s a lot of entries already! Do you guys use a random number generator thingie to choose winners?
Anyway, count me entered! I’ve been a professional book reviewer, plus I review unprofessionally (but quite honestly, thank you, no squeeing unless I really mean it) for certain online bookstores…Plus I really do want to read your book and will get it anyway when I can. But winning an arc is waaay cooler. :)
Ooh, pick me! Pick me!
Hi, I’d love to be part of the random drawing for the ARC.
Thank you!
Have A Wonderful 2009!
Wow, there are so many entries. I am keeping fingers and toes crossed that you pick me. Love the random number generator, bring it on!
Whew! Coming in under the wire! So proud of you!
Am I too late?? If not pick me, pick me!!
Oh heck yes I want one of these.
I love, love, love the cover! I’d love to get my hands on a copy!
Oh ye gods of randomness, shine thy light upon my own heaving bosom and bless me with thy graciousness
w00t!
Oooo! Shiny! I’m dying of curiosity to read this.
Oooh, yes, please. :)
Can a Canadian lurker get in on this?? Pretty please???
Holy cow, over 400 comments! If chosen I will review!
please please me?
I so would not mind reading what sounds like a really cool book. And an ARC is always something nice to have on a bookshelf! :)
I think you should pick someone north of the 49th parallel, just to begin corrupting our polite population with your brand of awesome bitchiness.
And, hello? I check my e-mail ever few hours; what the #$%^ are all the rest of you doing, that you manage to get in four hundred and ten posts ahead of me???
Heaving Bosom sounds like a medical condition.
OMG OMG OMG I’d love one :D. *crosses all her fingers and toes*
Just like that song from the Misfits (remember Jem and the Holograms?)
“Gimme Gimme Gimme!”
I spent 30 minutes last week trying to find out about this book as there are little comments here and there, but nothing concrete that I have seen in the past. Doesn’t that earn me some points? I am all about giving my opinion and would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE an ARC. Yours would be my first; I would remember and worship you always.
I don’t know what makes my bosom heave more: that I get to read this awesome book one day or that I get to see my boyfriend tomorrow for the first time in 3 weeks.
Awesome! I’m looking forward to reading it no matter how I get my copy!
I’d love one!
Sweet! I’m looking forward to reading it no matter how I get my copy!
This turned a bad day (first day of classes, pathetic fiesta bowl) into a good day. Yipee!
I am highly intrigued by your premise: A… Guide to Romance Novels. Lead me into the darkness of manroots and heaving bosoms.
Throw my name in the pot! I’d love to give it a go!
I must have been a bad girl since I didn’t get anything for Christmas, so this Virginia doesn’t believe in Santa anymore. But the ARC would more than make up for the lack of goodies under the tree or in the stocking.
Yay for ARC contests!! Count me in!
I would be thrilled to read it and tell you what I think.
I’d love me an ARC! Please, please, pretty please?
Already squee-ing at the thought of getting a copy! Pick me!
Gimme. Okay, so that wasn’t so polite. Gimme please? :D
It’s the “at random” that gives me a shred of hope.
section 35—next door to Area 51
Ooh, me, me, me. I’d have posted sooner but the computer at work thinks you are porn. Who knew? I thought it was all just sweet romance.
Love the cover of the book, ladies! And I would totally dig an advanced copy! Count me in the drawing, please!
Shannon McKelden
Wheeeeeee! I hope I’m one of the lucky winners!
And the list grows ever longer…
Oh to be one of the chosen to receive an ARC for the upcoming brilliant book “BEYOND HEAVING BOSOMS: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels,” that informative and witty tome of sophisticated romance reads.
I want this book so bad! I would love to win it :)
Ooo ARC me too! I want bosoms .. no wait I have some, I want more though… no thats not right either… oh poo I want a book… thats better
I would absolutely love one!
Oh man! Count me in!
OH NO! She is wearing MY pink dress, stolen MY man, and her bosom? Hard to say. I NEED this book, just to see if I can compete. . . sigh. Damn redheads!
I can’t help but love the category “Go Ahead, Win Some Shit”
*hearts*
I would love to win a copy. And I bet it would be fun to read which is more than I can say for the last book I reviewed. (For a professional journal. Excruciatingly boring doesn’t even cover it.)
Pick me! Pick me!
Might be too late here, but I found a link to you lovely ladies on BlogHer and I love a contest, especially if it’s to win a book. If I still qualify for the contest, I’d like to be entered. If not, congrats on the new book, either way, I look forward to reading it!
I would love to get an ARC, really psyched about this book!
I really need this. I haven’t found anything I want to read in ages.
Having19….19 what?
I’ll toss my stone in, but I have the worst luck.
Way to go, guys! A book! Whoo!
I’ll toss my stone in too even though I never win anything and I know I’ll have to wait until it’s on the shelves to get one!
Pick me, pick me… Pretty please
There are an amazing number of entries. All I can say is Must. Have. This. Book.
Michelle
I’m in! =D
Um, yeah, I’d like one please. I should give fair warning that my review might not be all that witty/interesting. I’ve got the bitch part down. Maybe not so much with the smarts.
A website that reviews romance novels from a couple of smart bitches who will always give it to you straight. New here? Check out our Greatest Hits.
Disclaimer: Due to FTC regulations, please presume that any book reviewed on this site was sent for free by the author or publisher to Smart Bitches Trashy Books, LLC, as a review copy.
I’m getting in line with Lorelie to ask Nonnie to be mine all mine. ZOMG, that is good stuff!
@Sao - Tell that to the men who say “All girls like anal, they just don’t know it yet.”
For me it’s not a hygiene reason. I don’t like sex and I REALLY don’t like anal ANYTHING. No butt plugs…
I love Monday mornings. The smell of coffee, the thought that I get to bang my head against the keyboard again until blood flows, and of course, a nice weekday dose of craziness in review land.
Thank you for sharing…
I, too, thought Max was a man. Would’ve made it more interesting. A gay man with no straightdar (as opposed to gaydar) who keeps going after straight guys and gets all insanely jealous and confused when those men chase after…
she jabbed the pocketknife into the incision, through her blouse
Wait, I had my appendix taken out surgically about 13 years ago. My incision is on the lower right side of my abdomen.
So if she only stabbed herself…
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01.05.09 at 02:02 PM