Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Howling. 

The last time I read a historical romance (years ago), I’d pretty much came to the conclusion that they all blew.

But I’d been doing a lot of bitchin’ lately and I wanted to be openminded about books, so I decided to read another one.

I purposely picked one everybody seemed to like, Mr. Impossible. 

I was worried that historical romance hadn’t changed much, cause Mr. Impossible still floated in the SOS (same ol’ shit) zone for me.

Or maybe I was hopelessly biased?! :bug:

Mr. Impossible HAD to be good because everybody else sure seemed to like it.

But somebody else has now felt the pain of the same cliches. 

Attractive bluestocking heroine and dashing, handsome,(titled of course), well-endowed gent runs all over creation to save brother-in-jeopardy!  A villain covets her creamy white hind-end!  Endless attacks by swarthy natives!  Saaaaved at the last possible black moment by heroic hero!

Gah.  And here I thought I was just being mean. 

What a relief.  I was gonna to indulge in more self-flagellation out of guilt and force myself to read. . . a Regency :ahhh: (the horror).

I don’t read romance as much as I used to, writing the stuff does that. 

Okay, okay, I admit it, I like contemporary romance.  And I’d like historical too if most of it weren’t so damn silly.  I loved A Woman of Substance. 

Fav contemp authors are Jennifer Cruisie, SEP, Alice Hoffman (though she’s woman’s fiction).

I read all of Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dark-Hunter series in a day when I was sick and feverish a few weeks ago.  I can’t remember a blessed thing about any of them.

Hilarious! I liked MI (especially after the first hundred pages), so this was a nice, fan-love revisit. I heart you, SBs. :)

Monica: I actually loved Mr. Impossible. I gave it an A-. :lol: Yeah, it utilizes some good old historical romance standbys, but I’m just a bitch for Loretta Chase. I’m glad you got a kick out of the Thumbnail Theater. See, one and all can enjoy it, even if you couldn’t stand the book!

Oh, goodness. . . I just KNEW I wouldn’t fit in with this here crowd.  And I was SO happy somebody finally understood.

My difference of opinion from the consensus is sort of fascinating. 

The characters left me totally cold.  And bored.  Oh, bad Egyptians attack hero and heroine again.  Check.  One more time, check, check.  Yawn.  Kill ‘em already, please.

Is romance really a matter of identification and fantasy?  I wonder.  Do the readers who loved this book imagine that they are the heroine, or that they are with the hero?  Maybe that’s the divide that I can’t leap in historical romance.

Yeah, the people attacking the hero and heroine were primarily Egyptian--but they were all mercenaries hired by two white guys who were the real villains of the piece, a Frenchman and a British man with the latter the being presented as the primary villain. Plus one of the primary henchmen is another whitey (Polish). There were Egyptian secondary characters who were good guys as well--in fact Akmed winds up REALLY saving the day, because it seems like he’s the one who finally convinces the mob that the Ingleezi aren’t worth the time and trouble to kill in the end. Not to mention the big role another Egyptian, Leena, provides in giving Daphne the kicks in the pants she needs, when she needs it.

I don’t know that I identify too much with the characters of historical romance novels. Half the time I don’t even find the heroes particularly attractive--most of them certainly don’t fit the criteria I have for what constitutes “attractive” in real life, anyway. The reason why I enjoyed this particular book so much is because I really, really enjoy Chase’s writing style, and because the attraction between Rupert and Daphne struck me as being particularly electric. The enjoyment I derive from romance novels in general actually has its roots in a sort of voyeurism and the vicarious thrill and emotional charge I get out of seeing two people fall in love. Reading for me is all about voyeurism and the vicarious thrill, really; different genres = different thrills. I almost never put myself in the place of the heroine, just as I never really put myself in the place of the hero when I’m reading an adventure novel, even as the author (a good one, anyway) is making me identify with what the characters are going through.

But I can dig that somebody can’t suspend their disbelief in certain ways, or how some types of tropes can leave someone cold. Sometimes it’s as simple (and complicated) an issue as writing style. For instance, I’ve heard loads and loads of buzz about Marjorie Liu’s Tiger Eye. I gave it a 15-page trial the other day, and it flunked it because I just didn’t like the writing style. Near as I can tell everybody else loves it, though. I just chalk it up as yet another hot new author I don’t and may never will get, but it’s pretty cool that other people are enjoying her books so much.

Does it matter why I’m doing the thumbnail theater, though, as long as you’re getting a kick out of it? ;-)

I loved Mr. Impossible as well.  I’ve had a loathing for most Regencies lately due to burnout (Mary Balogh Burnout, to be precise) and after seeing the hot pink, shiny cover, I nearly skipped it.

I’m so glad I didn’t!  That being said, it didn’t read as much like a traditional romance as I expected, but more like some bizarre cross between a historical mystery and one of those slim Regencies that you can pick up at Wal-Mart for like, ten for a dollar (okay, I exaggerate) with titles like “Miss Worth Has A Bad Hair Day”.  I found the author’s writing style to be a bit standoffish, though very appropriate for the setting, so that’s why I kept reading.

And fell in love.  This was my first Loretta Chase, mind you, but I went and picked up Miss Wonderful last night because of MI.  LC has a wonderful imagination, I think, and slides into the story things that you wouldn’t expect to happen.  I was surprised by the Pyramid scene, and I loved some of the later ones (that I won’t spoil here).  I loved that Rupert was a bit of a clod, and Daphne was a bit of a prude, but it worked for me. 

Toward the end, mind you, I wanted to bang Daphne on the head because she kept turning down the hero, but that sort of stuff always happens, and so I tend to just roll my eyes and keep reading.

At no point in time did the story ever question my intelligence or talk down to me (unlike Sherrilyn Kenyon or Johanna Lindsay or egad, Bertrice Small) so it gets two thumbs WAY up on this end.

I love the thumbnail theatre.  It’s a hoot.

Also, I should have mentioned earlier that I found Chase a fine writer.  I probably wouldn’t have said a word otherwise.  She did a wonderful job for the type of book that it is.

My feelings about the book are totally based on my personal preferences about the TYPE and style of book, not the quality.

One thing about IM is that is excellent is the romance, the beats of tenderness and interactions between the characters.  Chase did an incredible job on this.

The way the Egyptians were portrayed was fine for the period and the sort of book it was.

My musings were about why historical romances affect me so--when I can suspend disbelief easily with other genres, even with historical settings. 

And can I be cured?

And WHY are they all so similar?  Arrrgh!

I was thinking of trying the Bronze Horseman, (is that the correct title?).  Maybe I need to read something that is more edgy, outside of the genre.

yes, thank you—it was very, very good for me.

can you do that for a Suz Brockmann? OH, no, wait, how about a Beatrice Small? I’d love to see the thumbnails for one of those. Please?

Bwah!  Okay, I just frightened the cats, I was laughing so loudly with this one.  Frightened the husband as well, but he’s used to that.

More, more, more, indeed!

Beatrice Small could be high camp, especially with one of her barely adolescent heroines.  How about a Rosemary Rogers tribute?  “Ohhhh, rape me harder, baby.”

I HAVE to get back to writing.  This site is the best procrastination resource ever :)

If I decide to do a Bertrice Small novel, I’ll need to find thumbnails for the quivering orbs and fleshy swords of lurve because damn, she makes them characters in their own right.

Hmmmm, I wonder what Google Image Search will turn up for “quivering orb”? Off to find out, dooo de dooo....

Oh, and Monica, I can totally understand not liking a certain type of fiction. For me, it’s women’s fiction. “OK, which one of y’all gonna die from cancer? The adorable one that everyone loves? GODDAMMIT, IT’S ALWAYS THE ADORABLE ONE THAT EVERYONE LOVES. OK, now that that’s settled--who’s going to be the primary recipient of the heartwarming lessons about love, death and living life in the moment?” Even well-written women’s fiction makes me roll my eyes a little bit.

Coming out of lurkdom to LMAO!!

I actually went and ordered this book off Amazon, thanks to y’all.

I’ve come to read this after finishing Mr. Impossible.  Fun read.  A little more surface than I expected because Chase and Kinsale are always mentioned together, but lots of good stuff.

Enjoying your thumbnail!