It’s scrumptious hero time. We’ve been slogging through negativity, underhandedness, blatant dishonesty, and unpleasant portrayals of minorities - and that’s just the presidential primary. So let’s get all mary sunshine on our own asses (ow) and have some fun.
Smart Bitch Contest Time!
Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to create a scrumptious hero. His name? Gary Farber. And really, is there a better name for a hero? Nope, probably not. The real Gary Farber has graciously allowed us use of his most excellent name for our contest, so thanks, sir!
Mr. Farber is the hero of your romance novel. Your next task, once you’ve pondered the limitless WIN that is Mr. Farber, is to compose a monologue for your hero. Keeping with the creative freedom that is inherent in the constraints structure of the romance genre, you can make this monologue part of any scene of your choice. Beating the bad guy? Love scene? Professing his undying devotion to the heroine? Demonstrating incredible prowess in logical and eloquent argument? Chatting over coffee? Your call. Just keep it less than 200 words, please.
Email your entry to with the subject line “Farber Hero Contest” by 10 pm Eastern time today and I’ll post them for voting tomorrow. Yeah, yeah I know. Time constraints. Really, they’re the only ones you have to battle within the romance genre, so kwitcherbitchin’.
Winner as voted by you will receive a $25 gift certificate to Amazon.com, a Smart Bitch title™, and a selection from the Smart Bitch Prize Closet of Awesome Romance.
Get writin’!
I think if we really want to show Mr Farber some appreciation, the best thing to do would be to send him money. He’s ill and underemployed.
From his blog:
http://amygdalagf.blogspot.com/
I’m underemployed, recurringly housebound with insanely painful now-sporadic (when I have meds) gout, an enlarged heart, and other health problems, particularly including lifelong recurring severe clinical depression. See here for the latest crisis. I’m also available to some degree as a paid writer or researcher. This is a previous update on my situation & this—and this from December 19th, 2005 update. If you like my blog, and would like to help keep me from being evicted long enough to get my disability claim approved, and maybe even afford food and prescriptions—you are welcome to do so via the PayPal button.
Hello… I’m a lurker who suddenly jumps out of the bushes. And I reveal myself because I can’t help answering to Ann. These tearjerker stories make me so angry. Webcomic artist, bloggers, spam mail, everyone claims they need money badly. No one ever knows if anything is true. They take advantage of the kindhearted among the readers. Or do you know the guy?
Also, greetings to a funny blog and witty readers, who discuss a lot of stuff so civilised.
Hi Ann:
Your intentions are surely in the right place, but I figured a contest of much heroism and fun writing would be the best way to say, “Good on you” to Mr. Farber for his defense of the genre on the Oblivion site.
And if folks here are as funny as usual, there should be some comic mastery.
Well said, Sarah.
No, no, I don’t know the guy and I do absolutely realize there are a lot of scam artists out there doing the “gimme thing”. But the googling I’ve done make me think he (and his problems) are real.
He didn’t ask for money here and maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned it (BTW, I’m not a relative or friend or Farber himself - the bitches can check my IP address against emails he’s sent). I just thought if we were going to go all hot for him, there was a more substantial way of rewarding his defense of romance than saying “you are teh man, marry me”.
Maybe the surge of interest in Farber will encourage people here into looking at his situation on their own, and to decide for themselves whether or not they’d rather write 200 words or give him money. There’s nothing to stop anyone from doing that.
(Or from doing both!)
FWIW—Gary is very much legit—a little crazy as he’d be the first to admit, but legit.
I’ve been reading him, and following his various health difficulties, for about four years. In addition to his own blog, he is a long-time active commenter on a number of political blogs, especially on Obsidian Wings, where the conversation about the WaPo article and “romance” novels is located.
I think he’s thrilled that you folks are making a fuss over him as a hero! And as a blogger myself, I know he’d love visitors to his site.
A website that reviews romance novels from a couple of smart bitches who will always give it to you straight. No bullshit. No gushing--unless the author really deserves it. To find out more, read all about us or check out our minty-fresh and funkadelic FAQ section.
OTOH, I can’t tell whether she’d deliberately trying to make Beaufort Books look skanky with the OJ Simpson reference, or whether the circumstances under which the book was eventually published are well enough known that she wouldn’t need to clarify.…
From Flag on the Play
RfP, I agree that it doesn’t sound to me like she’s saying ‘all romances are mediocre’, she’s saying ‘this book is mediocre’. She even talks about a dynamic where a woman needs to be put in their places by a…
From Flag on the Play
I can’t believe I’m thinking of finding this. I read this when I was in junior high and loved it. I have a big place in my heart for the secret baby.
It’s not what he’s grasping that has me wondering; it’s what’s the matter with his hand. Is he the victim of medical experiments that grafted two hands into one, with a special deformity of his index finger? Oh, the poor,…
This sounds like she knows there’s a difference between bodice ripper and romance.
a second-rate bodice ripper or, rather, a second-rate bodice ripper-style romance (it doesn’t really have sex scenes)
She does qualify that it’s a second-rate one. It’s not…
From Flag on the Play
Gemmifer said on...
SB Sarah said on...
ann said on...
03.05.08 at 10:26 AM |