Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Holy shit on a stick with a big dick.

Sums up my reaction nicely :)

“What,” she snatched the feather in his hand and poked him in the chest, “have you done with Howard?”

You know, I begin to suspect this might not be entirely serious.

This woman, Celia Kyle, also writes erotica starring yetis. Such as “Yeti! Again?”. Yetis! That really freaked me out, and I’ve seen mellyloon. Whatever sparks your plugs I suppose.

Ducks...?

Hey, wasn’t it here that the most outrageous kind of “were” was celebrated with a title or something?! It was “were-cod”, from what I remember.

If I could only remember my studies the way I remember stuff that happens on this site. *le grand sigh*

I wrote a were-pillbug once.

I think I just got owned, though. It wasn’t an erotic were-pillbug story.

Okay, now that somebody has written it, who will be brave enough to review it? Inquiring minds want to know.

i can see the cover now, with howard the duck as the hero...... yowza!

The part about this article that really made me laugh is that just this morning I received a spam message with the subject, “Cute video of ducks,” and I thought, “Oh, you know, with all the ‘teenaged girls fisting farm animals!’ spam that I get, this new approach is almost charming.” If only I’d known!

Ducks...?
Hey, wasn’t it here that the most outrageous kind of “were” was celebrated with a title or something?! It was “were-cod”, from what I remember.
If I could only remember my studies the way I remember stuff that happens on this site. *le grand sigh*

Does a were-cod need a codpiece?

It IS listed under “Humor and Satire.”

Satire aside...ummm...I do wildlife rehab.  There is a period of time in the early spring when just about every female duck we get in is there for “forced copulation” and the secondary associated wounds.
This concept terrfies me.  Or maybe I’m just overly sensitive…

Can they actually put that title on a book cover?

For their body size, barnacles have one of the longest “appendages” in the animal kingdom.  I don’t know how that would play out with the whole stuck to one spot issue.

Wendy, I did wildlife rehab too and recall those poor female ducks coming in all battered.  Not what most people expect from seemingly gentle waterfowl.

Well I looked at the excerpt and the duck’s name is HOWARD...and here I thought you were kidding!!

I think I just got owned, though. It wasn’t an erotic were-pillbug story.

How about a were-bee?  Not a starring role, but it’s in an erotic (and worth reading just for the bee propositioning a man-sized fae).

The first thing I do when I see a big naked man in my bathroom while I’m also naked, is to imagine what it would feel like to kiss him. I often ignore my fight-or-flight instincts for a nice makeout session.

Next are werehamsters and wereants. Those wereants are hard workers you know. I can see construction worker by day and wereant by night. It could totally be a menage - you know since they all serve the queen and stuff.

Sigh. I feel old today. I’m off to go tell people to get off my lawn.

Ok, I just bought it and read it, and I’m thinking it was some kind of a joke.

Wince.  I suppose you don’t even need the were-sea cucumber to morph.  My horizons are constantly broadened by reading here.  Thanks.  Really.

I was on the EC website last night laughing like a loon over the title of a new release.  Manwich.  I kid you not - the title was Manwhich - and as you would imagine there was one prominately displayed on the cover.

I thought that was bad - and would not read it for the title alone, but Fuck A Duck is taking things a bit too far.  I gotta ask though -is there actual duck fucking going on?  As in a woman with a duck?  Or as usual, does the title have nothing to do with the story inside.

Lissa - He’s a shapeshifting duck. Don’t worry, the fucking happens in human form.

Remember Leda? 
Swans (like ducks and cassowaries) have penises too.

Don’t worry, the fucking happens in human form.

I am oddly disappointed.  That always seems like such a terrible cop-out in werecritter stories.

Can they actually put that title on a book cover?

Are there any rules about obscene language in titles?  I honestly don’t know.  Shar Rednour’s ‘Starf*cker’ was on the shelf at my local Borders for a while (albeit in the erotic section), and Amazon seemed quite happy to list ‘Mind Fuck’ for sale with no asterisks in sight.

JenB, you said you read the book, so may I just ask one thing—was there a pecker joke in there?

I can’t decide if I want to read it or run screaming into the night.

Oh the choices!

ya’ll have all gone “quackers”

bad guy “ YOUR GOOSE IS COOKED HOWARD!”

Howard “ I’m a DUCK muthafuckah!”

For their body size, barnacles have one of the longest “appendages” in the animal kingdom.

No wonder Barnacle Bill the Sailor called himself . . . well . . . Barnacle Bill.

To me, wereticks are still the most horrifying-to-contemplate critters.

By the way, Celia Kyle is a good shit.

(I’m obviously not in paragraph-construction mode today.)

Well hot damn--a pig’s winkie is shaped like a corkscrew--you know that’s next!

I bought and read it as well. All I can say it, if it’s not a joke well........I’m not sure what to say about it.

WendyK

best. blog post. ever.

Katrina Strauss and I have been planning to cowrite a book entitled “Muskrat Love” for some time now about muskrat shifters.  I hope the wereducks don’t eat into our target market.

Eek!  I’m so late to this post, but wanted to pop in uber quick.

Yes, F*ck a Duck (<-Note the pub encouraged asterisk) is a fun poke at were-creatures, an ode to my favorite 80’s movie (Howard the Duck) and the method by which I won a bet with my critique partner who didn’t think I could go there.  (Pfft to Shara, I totally did!)

It was inspired by a fun little ditty I learned in middle school at the ripe old age of thirteen.  You know, when you learn all the greatest stuff evah. 

*ahem* Sing along to the tune of Row Your Boat:

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck a duck
Screw a kangaroo
Fingerbang an orangutan
You can do it too.

Repeat as necessary, desired or just for the hell of it and I hope my shortie brought a smile to some of ya’ll.  ;)

Ce, you are bringing were-beasts to new heights.  I quiver with anticipation at your upcoming tale, “The Were-Oyster.” An aphrodisiac that can both titillate and penetrate....

Celia, I am SO proud of you!

Oh Celia!  Love the ditty but ohhh noooo.... Now it’s stuck in my head!
LOL