Smart Bitches Trashy Books | All of the romance, none of the bullshit.

Amen!! If you can’t find pregnancy/mothering (and even stepmothering) funny then you’re in for a long, hard, and very dreary road.

As far as female funnies, that guy is smoking crack. I think Sarah Silverman is one of the funniest comics working today. I live for my Thursday Silverman fix on comedy central and find myself singing ‘give the jew girl toys’ long after the holiday season is over.

Anna J. Evans

Yes, he’s kidding you, and if you hadn’t already gestated your sense of humor away, you would know that.

And because you’ve gestated not once but twice, killing your own sense of humor as well as that of a nearby nulliparous woman, I’ll clarify that I was and am also kidding you.

Filter word: period91. Yeah, menstruation is another subject to be dealt with srsly. Have a happy period, my ass…

I simply think that women and men often find different things funny.

Like sex.....
Women would rather have no sex than bad sex.
To men, there is no such thing as bad sex. ;)

I’d be insulted by his article if I didn’t find its absurdity so damn funny.

And you’re right...if you can’t laugh at the “joys” of motherhood, then what can you laugh at?

Women would rather have no sex than bad sex.
To men, there is no such thing as bad sex.

See, not only is that true, it’s funny. LOL

There’s nothing like an article about the differences between men and women to make me laugh my ass off…

And Sarah --- I don’t want to send you screaming into the streets… but has anyone mentioned to you about the “phantom” baby you carry after delivery? I did the dishes from two feet away from the sink for a week before I realized the little one was sleeping in his crib… yeah, pregnancy is funny.

It’s the teen years that stop the laughter.... which is a good time to hand the little creatures over to the men in their lives so they can laugh together at stupid things to get through the next years.

Christopher Hitchens what a guy…

Why do I keep thinking this guy is a 40 year old virgin, lives in his mothers garage, watches only sports related television and is not known for his regular bathing habits? Why?

Men will laugh at almost anything, often precisely because it is—or they are—extremely stupid. Women aren’t like that.

I find this very erroneous. I laugh at stupid stuff all the time.

I hope he’s just being facetious.

it is females who are the rank-and-file mainstay of religion, which in turn is the official enemy of all humor.

Oh well now I know he’s being ridiculous.

Jokes about calamitous visits to the doctor or the shrink ... are a male province.

Spoken like someone who doesn’t realize how absolutely hilarious stories about visits to the gynecologist can be.

Oh, Christopher Hitchens. I pat you on your befuddled little head, and laugh at your confusion at my jokes.

Next up, I’ll take seriously an article wherein folks are told to eat the Irish to stave off famine.

Off-topic: I love that essay. The eat Irish babies essay is just one of the best things I ever read in high school English.

Incidentally, about halfway or 2/3 of the way down the comment thread on Ann Althouse’s blog, we get this gem:

Obvioulsy, as a straight male, I have absolutely no interest in the female pornography known as Romance Novels.

B/c even in a thread that has nothing to do with romance novels, we’ve got to get that little jab in!

Obvioulsy, as a straight male, I have absolutely no interest in the female pornography known as Romance Novels.

OH THIS JUST PISSES ME OFF ON SO MANY LEVELS!
a.  Romance isn’t porn (But we all know that.  The implication is that it’s beneath him.
b.  A male not interested in porn!  That’s a lie!
c.  If it was something geared for guys with Jenna Jamison on the cover, you’d damn well bet the farm that he’d be beggin’ GF/Wifey to ‘read it for us!’.
d.  Ack.  But if it’s something for a woman, then it’s “beneath me”.
e.  Asshat.

I am of two minds about this. On the one hand, I do get tired of the Uterine Consipracy Theory as an explanation for everything women do. I’m pretty sure that men are not wishing they could have the babies. I’m pretty damn sure they’re thrilled to pieces that they don’t have to do it.

In fact, except for the moments when a man actually witnesses a woman delivering a child, I think many fellows are unimpressed with the whole business. “Well, your body’s built to do that, right?” Yeah, and your body’s built to go chase down mammoths, so why don’t you get on that, eh?

However, I cannot help but agree with his basic point, which is that women are, on average, not as funny as guys. If Hitchens had stopped with his thesis of “We have to be funny if we ever want to get any; the women don’t have to work so hard” I’d be right on board with that.

Come to think of it, though, my female friends who make me laugh the most are the ones who haven’t reproduced. Which isn’t to say the mommies aren’t funny, but I don’t get to hang out with them the same way I do with the non-parents.

I think that brings up another potential gender divide: men are encouraged to have fun with their children, while women are encouraged to be the day-to-day rules-makers. In the stereotypical, “family values” household, moms set the schedules and handle logistics and quartermarshal duties. When Mom is looking after the kids, she’s also trying to accomplish other things, most usually household chores, but also often duties for a for-pay job, or calculating how to get Jimmy to soccer practice and Buffy to dance class, and still get dinner on the table. By contrast, when Dad is looking after the kids, he has one job: keep the kids entertained.

(The preceeding paragraph is obviously a gross simplification. But it seems to be the expectation of middle-American culture in general.)

This doesn’t make these moms unfunny. It makes them too overworked to have the energy for unrestrained goofball humor.

I’ve heard this a number of times--always from attention-getting types of men.  Which always leaves me thinking, “I’m damn funny… when you let me get a word in edgewise.  And you know it; that’s why you work so hard at shutting me up.”

Perhaps I’m the exception to the rule, but not only am I mother, I’m a single mother, and there is no daddy to ever pawn the kids off on to be entertained, so I’m doing every last bit of work around here, but I’m still a goofball.

We laugh until we puke. But that’s just us.

Also, if Mr. Hitchens thinks religion isn’t funny, he doesn’t get out much. I got a million “a priest and a rabbi” jokes, and twice that many Pope jokes.

Mr. Hitchens’ problem is that he doesn’t understand women respond to different humor than men--because HE IS A MAN.

There is universal funny stuff that all will laugh at. But I could write an article about how men don’t get humor, they just laugh at anything gross or disgusting. Which is not humor. To me, the best humor involves wit. So, therefore, in my world of humor, men are not very funny at all.

And I don’t what mothers or pregnant women he’s been around. My whole pregnancy was like a 9-month-long sitcom episode. And babies? Babies can be the funniest things on the planet. If I haven’t laughed at the absurdity that is motherhood, I would be one dull person.

Jane Kerr and Erma Bombeck both made money off of being women who laughed at motherhood. 

So there! Mr. Hitchens.....

Sheesh!  It’s Jean Kerr and I can’t spell for chit.

You know, that’s right up there with the idea that feminists don’t have a sense of humor. That we take ourselves too seriously to be able to laugh at things. I laugh at myself all the damn time. When I do something stupid and look like an ass, when one of my students points out one of my shortcomings in a funny way, I laugh my self sick.

Perhaps the “problem” is actually that Christopher Hitchins isn’t funny. As Emily Watson’s character says to Ryan Phillippe when he tells her Brits don’t have a sense of humor, “We do when something’s funny, sir.”

I wish Hitchens would stick to doing what he does best: trashing Mother Theresa and making the Fox News guys look like dumbasses. This piece pissed me off back when it was a “Fighting Words” column on Slate.com.  Here’s something I’ve noticed:  Women are much more comfortable not only laughing at themselves, but pretending silliness for the sake of a joke (think Ellen DeGeneres).

I’ve a habit of saying absolutely ridiculous things with a perfectly straight face.  My female friends laugh because they think I’m funny.  My guy friends laugh because they think I’m stupid.  Usually they try to explain to me why what I just said is patently ridiculous.  And when I say, “I was joking!” they nod and smile as though they’re thinking, “Sure you were, sweet cheeks.”

Men have been blaming women for the things they think about us since the dawn of time (lustful thoughts, anyone?).  Could it be that men who don’t think women are funny hold this belief not because we take ourselves too seriously, but because they take us too seriously?

You have a point Battie--- It could be that the biting wit and sarcasm that many a women are known for (think Designing Women) may fly like a big “Whoosh” over some men’s heads, while other women are smiling at the inside joke.

I know that I was shocked in the past to hear that so and so thought I was serious when I made a snarky/funny remark.  Those who knew me got it, those who didn’t, thought it was for real.

Mr. Hitchens’ problem is that he doesn’t understand women respond to different humor than men--because HE IS A MAN.

There is universal funny stuff that all will laugh at. But I could write an article about how men don’t get humor, they just laugh at anything gross or disgusting. Which is not humor. To me, the best humor involves wit. So, therefore, in my world of humor, men are not very funny at all.

And I don’t know which mothers or pregnant women he’s been around. My whole pregnancy was like a 9-month-long sitcom episode. And babies? Babies can be the funniest things on the planet. If I haven’t laughed at the absurdity that is motherhood, I would be one dull person.

Ohh!  Fightin’ words!  Whaddaya mean I’m not funny?!  People laugh at me allathedamntime,…

Of course women have a faboo sense of humor.  If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be able to tolerate men in *any* capacity.  I frequently make my lovely S.O. snort in his glass, and have on numerous occasions caused him uncontrollable nasal spewage.  Perversely, I take great pride in those moments.

[But let’s face a tragic truth, here: it can be genuinely hazardous to a girl’s physical well-being to laugh—with or at—some guys.]

Perhaps Mister Hitchens is secretly embarrassed and is just covering his arse because he may not be quite clever enough to grok all the subtleties and nuances of female comedy. 

Yeah, yeah, I get it -– it ain’t ‘comedy’ unless it fits The Man’s Official Definition of ‘comedy’.  And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we call it ‘bullshit’ instead of ‘cowshit’.

wow, so, since I’ve had two kids, all of my funny brain cells went into the placentas?? IS HE KIDDING?

If he thinks motherhood makes you unfunny, he hasn’t listened to a group of women talking about their kids/pregnancies.  My friends and I have had conversations that go something like this, “Oh, you think THAT is funny, listen to what my kid/said did etc” Almost like one upmanship.  The women’s version of men bragging about hunting/sports exploits. The “oh yeah, I can beat that story” kinds of talks.  Those conversations are funny, but we don’t have them in front of men b/c they don’t want to hear about the grosser aspects of pregnancy, and girls, you all know that stuff is the funniest part of pregnancy!!

Life is funny.

Jokes are not funny.

That’s why I’m staring at you when you try to tell me a “joke.”

*snerk*

Yeah, I really dig the bit about the placenta sucking down all my brain cells [like all brain cells are interchangeable in their capacities], along with my sense of humor --

-- uh huh.  Like there’s enough blood in the male body to make both heads function optimally at the same time.

*snerk*

There is nothing funnier than my nun/priest/camel joke.  Which was originally told to me decades ago by a woman.  So there.  I don’t care if he *was* being satirical.

*sitting on hands to stop them from typing in above joke*

Bettie said:
My guy friends laugh because they think I’m stupid.  Usually they try to explain to me why what I just said is patently ridiculous.  And when I say, “I was joking!” they nod and smile as though they’re thinking, “Sure you were, sweet cheeks.”

I remember telling somebody (a man) that my friend (another man) had had “An Apocalyptic Fit”, referring to an incident where my first friend was VERY upset, in an OMFG way. After they both stopped laughing, they started to tell me - very condescendingly - that the apocalypse was the end of the world. I replied “I know - he thought it was.” THEN they got it!  *lightbulb*

I’ve a habit of saying absolutely ridiculous things with a perfectly straight face.  My female friends laugh because they think I’m funny.  My guy friends laugh because they think I’m stupid.  Usually they try to explain to me why what I just said is patently ridiculous.  And when I say, “I was joking!” they nod and smile as though they’re thinking, “Sure you were, sweet cheeks.”

This is the most truthful thing I’ve read in a long, long time.

I read somewhere that, while both men and women say that they want to meet someone with a great sense of humour, they actually mean different things.  A woman wants to meet a man who is witty or at least one who laughs at the same things she does.  A man wants to meet a woman who laughs at HIS jokes.  He doesn’t want a witty woman - she’d be too much competition.

I’ve been watching “Last Comic Standing,” and the female host, Kathy, said that people insist that there are no funny women comics, but she knows there are tons of funny women and she’s looking for them in this contest.

So, one woman audtions and starts out setting up a joke about dating—both the male comics stop her, rolling their eyes, shaking their heads, and saying, “That’s not funny.” Like, this is a thing. That women comics ALWAYS have to tell stories about dating and it’s never funny and why don’t they all just shut up already.

But, here’s the thing. I LOVE jokes about dating. I think they are funny. Sex and the City? A long, extended joke about dating. But men hate dating jokes. And I don’t think it’s because they aren’t funny, it’s because they don’t get the humor. There’s something there that’s odd. Because they despise dating jokes the same way they despise chick movies and the same way they desipise women’s fiction and romance.

But then, and here’s the kicker—the two male hosts totally fell off their asses laughing at some fool whose comic routine was wearing a monkey head. That’s not funny. It’s just not. They also think impressions are funny. Impressions aren’t *funny*.  They’re kinda stupid. I mean I guess an impression is sort of interesting, but it’s not humor.

I can’t even understand anyone, anywhere thinking that there is a degree of “funny” and women fall short. It’s a human thing, about shared experiences, and both men and women make each other laugh to the same degree. But cross gender—not so much. and that’s because the shared experience isn’t the same or from the same point of view.

And the acknowledgement that Roseanne is funny—that’s undeniable, but men hate Roseanne. They f’ing hate her, even as they acknowledge that’s she’s funny as hell.

Also,

I think the reason why women like comedy from men (Seinfeld, Arrested Development, etc.) more than men like comedy from women is that women have far more experience with the male point of view. You can’t live in this world and avoid the male point of view (literature, TV, movies, etc), but men have far less experience with the female point of view. There are men who have never read a book written by a woman. No woman can say the opposite.

Ann, excellent point.

Deb, tell the damn joke!!!

(Or is the joke, “How do you keep a blog reader in suspense?")

Yeah, I want to hear the nun/priest/camel joke too!

Sorry, E!  I posted that and then went to teach a class and then to lunch.  Oops!

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before… (see?  I’m funny!)

A nun and a priest were crossing the desert on a camel.  Halfway across, the camel up and dies.  The nun and the priest, realizing their predicament, take this moment to reflect upon their lives.

The nun says, “Father, it appears apparent that we are about to die.  Is there anything you always wanted to see and haven’t?”

“Well, sister, I’ve never gazed upon a naked woman and have always wondered what that would be like,” the priest replied.

Obligingly, figuring she has nothing to lose by accommodating him, the nun strips off her habit.  The priest looks his fill.

“Thank you, sister.  Now, is there anything that you have always wished to see and haven’t?” he asked.

“Well, Father, I’ve never seen a naked man before and have always wondered what the hubbub is all about,” she answered.

The priest stripped off his clothing and the nun looked at him, intrigued.

“Well, now, there are differences, aren’t there?  Tell me, Father, that thing between your legs.  What is it’s purpose?” the nun inquired.

The priest, wanting to not offend her sensibilities, replied, “Well, sister, that gives life.”

To which she replied, “Well, stick that thing in the camel and let’s get out of here!”

And there you have it.  The nun/priest/and camel joke of my childhood.  Almost as life altering as the “Do you smoke after sex?” “I don’t know, I never looked.” joke.

Every time someone talks about women not being funny - or feminists not being able to take a joke - I think of the Ivy League a cappella group that came to my school and told very unfunny “jokes” about killing women - to a room full of liberal women - and I wonder if this is what they consider to be “humor.”

(well, actually, first I think of blogs like Pandagon and this one)

As for all of us that were laughing hysterically several minutes later - partly at ourselves - when the non Ivy League school came up and sang ‘NSync songs, we happen to think women have a wonderful sense of humor - and are very funny.

I wanted to comment, but the comment was too long, so it turned into this rant.

Basically, it’s the old Victorian double standard. Women are like Satan--all-powerful and cunning, yet so low and stupid they can’t use that power and have to be Protected From Themselves. By of course not having any say over their money, their bodies, their labor, or their lives.

Which is of course a big crock of crap to cover up men jabbering so endlessly we can’t get a word in edgewise, using up all the planet’s resources irresponsibly, and punching their girlfriends in the face all the time.

Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was too stupid to use satire. I should go get pregnant again and stay in my place, barefoot in the kitchen. Right, Mr. Hitch?

Yeah. Can you tell that torqued me off? And STILL does?

men like “childish” humor while women do not

What?  So I can’t admit in public that I LIKE Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, and Will Ferrell movies?  C’mon, Zoolander...Talledega Nights...The Longest Yard?  Anyone?

Deb,

That joke was hi-fuckin-larious. Awesome. Thank you for sharing it.

Glad you liked it, Sally.  Did I just prove that women are funny?

Surely this was written just to get attention?  In my entire life, I’ve never heard anyone suggest women weren’t funny before.  It would be like saying “men have lungs and women don’t” or something.  Just not an idea that would even cross someone’s mind.  I suspect he’s just trying to get people stirred up.

So delighted to give the SBs something to get you all riled up about.

Many men think that they’re way funnier than they often are.  I remember some jackass telling an unclever misogynistic joke.  When I didn’t laugh, he said, “You don’t have a sense of humor.”

I said, “I have a great sense of humor.  You’re not funny.”

They think that if we don’t laugh, it’s because we don’t get it. 

I also saw that part on “Last Comic Standing” where a woman got dissed for telling a dating joke, but a guy who followed told dating jokes and the male judges laughed.

Oh, you drew me out of lurkerdom for this one.  I couldn’t even stomach the first page of C. Hitchen’s article.  “Was Dorothy Parker funny?” Is the man so busy generating humor, he can’t appreciate anyone else’s? What a self-absorbed asshole!

The points I really wanted to make were:
1. Gifted comedians of either sex are rare.
2. Gifted women comedians often choose to stay home and raise kids (or go out and work a steady job to raise kids) rather than to develop their careers as comedians.
3. Still, funny females have a huge impact on all comedians.  Don’t tell me Chaucer lifted that “Wife of Bath” sketch from a transvestite! Many comedians (of both sexes) talk about their funny moms. (And dads, to be fair.)

I also think people have to relate to the basic premise of the humor.  Shit jokes are universal, and you can appeal to both sexes with that. Pregnancy jokes, though—I wonder how many single men and never-pregnant women would be willing to sit through a 15 minute monologue about pregnancy? Some would—maybe in the interest of research—but a lot would be totally zoning it out. OTOH, women who have gone through it can talk for HOURS about the funny stuff of pregnancy. ‘Cause if you don’t laugh, crying looks like a pretty good option.

Hitchens is just trying to shock and stir up some muck.  He admits there are good women comics (although his list is pretty darn short, in my opinion—what rock does *he* live under?), and brings up research that says women appreciate humor more, and in practically the next paragraph, tries to tell us that be that as it may, men will laugh at anything. Logic doesn’t seem to be his strong point.

He’s skating the edge of “that’s funny” and “that’s stupid.” Fortunately, with my superior feminine abilities of discerning funny vs. unfunny, I could tell the difference right away. What a jerk!

But if he gets people thinking about that kind of stuff, he’s done something good for the world, right?

Sarah, if you haven’t read it yet, check out Pregnancy Sucks: What to do when your Miracle makes you Miserable by Joanne Kimes and some doctor.  There’s a version for men, too.  I think Kimes was a professional comedian before she was a writer.

It will make you laugh so hard you might go into early labor.

I remember reading this article when it was published in Vanity Fair.  My main reaction was “huh?” I realized that he was trying to go for satire and that he desperately believed he was being funny.  All of that understanding was there, and still it just wasn’t funny. 

I wasn’t offended, really, but I did feel a great wave of pity for poor Mr. Hitchens.  It must be hard to work so hard for satire and wit and to fail so miserably.  The poor man just can’t seem to find his sense of humor no matter how big the flashlight or how nimble the proctologist.

My favourite joke-and happily told these last 20 years- What’s the difference between a prostitute, a girlfriend and a wife? The prostitute says, “O.K that’s it, your finished”, The girlfriend says, “Ohh, you’re finished” and the wife says, “Beige. I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.”
I have been happily married for over 30 years and know why I laugh at this joke. I wonder how many men would.

Oh, since Christopher Hitchens started loving Bush and calling for MORE MORE WAR, he’s just become only ever more pointless than he was before as a pseudo-Leftist drunken poseur.

Bah. Real men love women’s sarcasm and snark. Mr. Hitchens, on the other hand, is probably just threatened…

Christopher must’ve been in his cups when he wrote that; or, locked in a closet in the basement for the past 20 years or so.

I simply know too many sly, funny women who contradict his theory.

But perhaps these funny women don’t feel compelled to huck their wares onstage, for an anonymous public, and instead choose to amuse, entertain, and console those in their inner circle.

To put it another way: funny women aren’t the base attention whores that CH’s funny men might be.

CH needs to get out a bit more, maybe.

Hah, I’m sure the reason that that prat moved to the US is so he wasn’t deafened by the chorus of eyerolling (there was so much that it *was* audible, honest) that went on whenever he issued a pronouncement back home in the UK. Looks like the honeymoon period is starting to wear off in the US as well.

Now can we all pleeease ignore him for the troll he is, despite the “suave"-sounding accent and pseudo-intellectual rantings?

Captcha: family53. While we’re speaking of families, it’s not just those humourless feminists he picks on; he’s not that fond of queers either. Or lefties who haven’t *cough*sold out*cough* seen the light of true whatever-the-hell he’s standing for now.

Some jokes are funny— Deb’s joke, above, was funny.  But anyone who thinks jokes are all there is to humour is, well, kind of an idiot. 

Is it just me, or did he say that women aren’t funny because men are stupid?  Because there’s just so much wrong with that sentiment that I don’t know where to begin.

I think the best response to this article appeared on McSweeneys website in a piece written by Kate Kreshner - check it out it’s hilarious.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2007/4/11kershner.html

The poor man just can’t seem to find his sense of humor no matter how big the flashlight or how nimble the proctologist.

jocelynnesimone for the WIN.  See there, Chris?  That’s how you do it.

Hitchens is an ass. Worse than that he’s not funny either. Women are all powerful and the only reason men cultivate their own humor is for women’s sake? Only Jewish people are funny? Only “hefty” or “dykey” women can be funny? My first response would be to kick his lily white behind but I’m too much of a lady (I could take him though). Second response is to say humor is a defense mechanism, it works differently for men and for women. Humor is about pain too, something women are more willing to consider and reflect upon than men.

Dorothy Parker is funny. She used humor as a defense mechanism as well as a way to make a living. She was on a first name basis with pain, was not afraid to name it and still makes me laugh some 70 years later. Will anyone say the same for Hitchens?

This reminded me of one of my favorite Sylvia strips. Sylvia is sitting at a counter and a man is asking her what the world would be like without men. Her answer--"No crime and lots of fat, happy women.”